Skyview01:
Marry both and stop dusturbing the peace of Nairaland.

Besides, your write up is hard to read.

HacheNoire:


Mere reading his write-up, I saw reasons why he made such enormous blunders, and I don’t see ot coming to an end.

Dude is just a gas molecule, no direction

Skyview01:


I never bothered to read!

master2023:
Good day nairalanders please pardon me, I just registered newly and I felt I should share my story,I needs your advice if am doing the right thing or not, I am from rivers, I was once married, and my marriage lasted for 5years when I lost my wife,through our 5years of marriage we didn't had anybaby but we kept on pushing and believing God someday for blessing of the womb.

we loved each other then to the extent that I didn't give room for family members to pressure to get someone else to give me children because I didn't want to break her heart, well she eventually died,I felt so bad but then I have move ahead, one year later, I saw another lady who I got attracted to, and we started going on, she knows about my history as we both discussed our past and we started dating though we only dated for few months(2) and by this time, I realised that it's wasnt the kind of person I may like to settle down with in future, so in agreement I had to beg the lady that I wouldn't want to waste her time because I didn't find her interesting and that I cannot cope.

Please note that she is nice and a wife material, but after studying her for few time, I just note that I wasn't feeling her anymore, she agreed saying that it's was better it's was early to break up than wasting her time.
This was how we ended our relationship, all through our sweet moment was always in hotel and through our sexual activities we were using condom but there was one day,I had the condom buste and couldn't help it but pour inside her, but after that time we were no longer seeing each other as everyone had gone their seperate ways and my parent were aware of it, about two months later I found this new lady who currently is leaving with me ,I found her interesting and we are so cool with each other, it's was just as if she was like my late wife and we blended so fast and as if I was already seeing her as my wife already because I have never one day use condom on her,this was what I wanted.

Why we were dating just about a month to the new relationship, the previous lady we broke up together requested that she wanted us to see that she wanted to tell me something which I told her to meet me in an open place.and behold when we met she gave me the shock of my life that she had been sick until she discovered that she was pregnant, and the date tally with the period the condom busts, I was confused and didn't no what to decide because one, I had never had any child or got anyone pregnant before not to talk of terminating one's life which i can't imagine myself doing, so the lady ask me if she should terminate the pregnancy but I couldn't give answer instead I told her that for me I cannot take part in taking someone's life and that if wants to keep the baby I will take responsibility for the both but marriage is totally no go area because I already have someone in my life already, but if she wants to terminate it, I shouldn't be involved into it.. this was how she kept the pregnancy then I talked about it with my current woman and she was in support of not terminating it seeing that it's was God blessing and no one have the right to take someone's life. But somehow when my parent got to know about the news and saw the previous lady, they liked her and started pressuring me to abadom the current one and return back to the first lady since she had giving me what I couldn't get for almost 5years till death came visiting..... But I would not agree with my parent because I know what I want and I have seen it already so this caused serious issues in my family as I started to safeguide the current one who was leaving with me by relocating her to a rented apartment for fear of embarrassment because I truelly love and wanted to be with her. Then about 3weeks later, my current woman had her own pregnancy meanwhile I am the one taking the other lady for antinata clinic every time and making sure she wasn't lacking anything...so now that my main woman is pregnant also, I had to do every necessary arrangements to meet with her people to report my self with the companies of my friends and some relatives to formally do introduction ceremony with my current lady with the commitment that after she have delivered I will return back with full families for the pride price.... This was how the Jorney began. And with the help of family members who had wedge in to settle the dispute with my parents, as time goes on, my parents begin to like this current lady and I immediately relocated her back to my house and we started leaving our normal life.......soon the first baby mama delivered a bouncing baby boy, about 3months later, the one leaving with me also had her own bouncing baby boy, so far so good I have been trying my best to meet up to the demands of the first baby mama and most importantly my baby.... Because what ever I give to the one with me at home, I also give same thing to baby mama outside, I am just waiting for some months time before I will finally return to my woman parent for final bride price.....though I am very happy now, and proud to be a father to both children ... But off recent some person have come in again to pressure my parent for me to marry the two baby mamas that if I marry one,it's would be wise to marry the second one to show appreciation.... But I have tried to make them understand that doing that will create more problem for the 1st baby mama emotionally because I am not sexually attracted to her again right from when we left each other. But the pressure is giving me more concern as this is not what I want. This is the reasons why I decided to seek your advice because if I run to any relative they would support my parent saying that it's will be in my interest should incase the woman in my house is misbehaving, she would sit up knowing well that there is another wife, and there would be competition between them as they would be trying their best to be the best... Please what do you think.......I am 41, the 1st baby mama is 38 while the one with me is 33.

I am open for criticism because I know I have already fuckup in the past.

Cutehector:
The only thing i took out from this thread is,

If a man wants to marry you, he will be pouring his akamu inside you back to back without condom.

The moment you notice him using condom allthe time, my dear, run from that rship.

J2381:
not necessarily true bro. Most Nigerian men have sex without using protection. Nobody is scared of AiDS anymore, in short, Nigerian men fear pregnancy more than they fear AIDS.

A man pouring Akamu inside you doesn't mean he wants to marry you, he just like the feeling skin to skin gives, that's just it.

Akshually

Foodqueen:
Before you decide who to marry, do DNA for both children first.

Beremx:
You didn't state the reason why you jilted your first baby mama. If she was good wife material, why did you leave her then? You can't keep changing women anyhow owing to the fact that you lost your wife.
Anyway, go for a DNA test to ascertain if you are the father of the first child. If you are, you take responsibility and move on. The deed has been done.

Hamachi:

Yes. He is an irresponsible person with mental problems, most likely genetic in origin that he would pass on to any children you would have with him.

Plus, he obviously doesn’t use protection, so he might just be crawling with “bugs”. Syphilis is pretty is in vogue right now. Not to mention chlamydia, HPV, herpes, gonorrhea, Hep A, B and Cs etc, and HIV.

Don’t bring drama into your life. Date an emotionally stable guy, who is not impregnating unwise women all over the place. Don’t be unwise. Get gone from this man.

You owe any children you have a good father who is emotionally stable and has good genes, who doesn’t have a gaggle of children and baby mamas all over the place.

You can have a good life or you can have a life of poverty and degradation. If you plan well and think about these things beforehand and wait til you are in a stable committed relationship to have children, then you should have a good life.

This man cannot give you that. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior and his past behavior is a huge red flag.

master2023:


I don't actually know how to say but I realised that I just lost interest in her for few reasons. Little to list amongst this reasons.

She get bored anytime she brings up discussion that somehow relate to my late wife and wen I respond, she wud lost interest, Becos she said she doesn't want to be compared with anyone, then d sexual side, I saw my self not been able to satisfy her in bed, and so many times,I try harder to take enough acohols because I want to satisfy her but instead I will end up over stressing my self,am not the acholic type, and I haven't even promised her marriage yet, she had already told me that hope I would be helping her in the kitchen and house keeping Becos of her job... But in all.... The thing that made me loss interest more was the sexual aspect not be able to satisfy her though she didn't complain or bothered, but I feel bothered and challenged...

J2381:
not necessarily true bro. Most Nigerian men have sex without using protection. Nobody is scared of AiDS anymore, in short, Nigerian men fear pregnancy more than they fear AIDS.

A man pouring Akamu inside you doesn't mean he wants to marry you, he just like the feeling skin to skin gives, that's just it.

Kobojunkie:
They fear pregnancy so they don't use protection? Isn't protection meant to be against exactly that too?

master2023:
Good day nairalanders please pardon me, I just registered newly and I felt I should share my story,I needs your advice if am doing the right thing or not, I am from rivers, I was once married, and my marriage lasted for 5years when I lost my wife,through our 5years of marriage we didn't had anybaby but we kept on pushing and believing God someday for blessing of the womb.

we loved each other then to the extent that I didn't give room for family members to pressure to get someone else to give me children because I didn't want to break her heart, well she eventually died,I felt so bad but then I have move ahead, one year later, I saw another lady who I got attracted to, and we started going on, she knows about my history as we both discussed our past and we started dating though we only dated for few months(2) and by this time, I realised that it's wasnt the kind of person I may like to settle down with in future, so in agreement I had to beg the lady that I wouldn't want to waste her time because I didn't find her interesting and that I cannot cope.

Please note that she is nice and a wife material, but after studying her for few time, I just note that I wasn't feeling her anymore, she agreed saying that it's was better it's was early to break up than wasting her time.
This was how we ended our relationship, all through our sweet moment was always in hotel and through our sexual activities we were using condom but there was one day,I had the condom buste and couldn't help it but pour inside her, but after that time we were no longer seeing each other as everyone had gone their seperate ways and my parent were aware of it, about two months later I found this new lady who currently is leaving with me ,I found her interesting and we are so cool with each other, it's was just as if she was like my late wife and we blended so fast and as if I was already seeing her as my wife already because I have never one day use condom on her,this was what I wanted.

Why we were dating just about a month to the new relationship, the previous lady we broke up together requested that she wanted us to see that she wanted to tell me something which I told her to meet me in an open place.and behold when we met she gave me the shock of my life that she had been sick until she discovered that she was pregnant, and the date tally with the period the condom busts, I was confused and didn't no what to decide because one, I had never had any child or got anyone pregnant before not to talk of terminating one's life which i can't imagine myself doing, so the lady ask me if she should terminate the pregnancy but I couldn't give answer instead I told her that for me I cannot take part in taking someone's life and that if wants to keep the baby I will take responsibility for the both but marriage is totally no go area because I already have someone in my life already, but if she wants to terminate it, I shouldn't be involved into it.. this was how she kept the pregnancy then I talked about it with my current woman and she was in support of not terminating it seeing that it's was God blessing and no one have the right to take someone's life. But somehow when my parent got to know about the news and saw the previous lady, they liked her and started pressuring me to abadom the current one and return back to the first lady since she had giving me what I couldn't get for almost 5years till death came visiting..... But I would not agree with my parent because I know what I want and I have seen it already so this caused serious issues in my family as I started to safeguide the current one who was leaving with me by relocating her to a rented apartment for fear of embarrassment because I truelly love and wanted to be with her. Then about 3weeks later, my current woman had her own pregnancy meanwhile I am the one taking the other lady for antinata clinic every time and making sure she wasn't lacking anything...so now that my main woman is pregnant also, I had to do every necessary arrangements to meet with her people to report my self with the companies of my friends and some relatives to formally do introduction ceremony with my current lady with the commitment that after she have delivered I will return back with full families for the pride price.... This was how the Jorney began. And with the help of family members who had wedge in to settle the dispute with my parents, as time goes on, my parents begin to like this current lady and I immediately relocated her back to my house and we started leaving our normal life.......soon the first baby mama delivered a bouncing baby boy, about 3months later, the one leaving with me also had her own bouncing baby boy, so far so good I have been trying my best to meet up to the demands of the first baby mama and most importantly my baby.... Because what ever I give to the one with me at home, I also give same thing to baby mama outside, I am just waiting for some months time before I will finally return to my woman parent for final bride price.....though I am very happy now, and proud to be a father to both children ... But off recent some person have come in again to pressure my parent for me to marry the two baby mamas that if I marry one,it's would be wise to marry the second one to show appreciation.... But I have tried to make them understand that doing that will create more problem for the 1st baby mama emotionally because I am not sexually attracted to her again right from when we left each other. But the pressure is giving me more concern as this is not what I want. This is the reasons why I decided to seek your advice because if I run to any relative they would support my parent saying that it's will be in my interest should incase the woman in my house is misbehaving, she would sit up knowing well that there is another wife, and there would be competition between them as they would be trying their best to be the best... Please what do you think.......I am 41, the 1st baby mama is 38 while the one with me is 33.

I am open for criticism because I know I have already fuckup in the past.