Na very important aspect of relationship cuz alot of tribes in naija have different customs and traditions, make una reason am

Dyt:

Well 2 me it doesnt mata
infact my present bf south-south

so u have a boy friend?

^^ M sure u v nt bn readin my Location n Siggy well
btw ow wld u expect such an Uya witout a bf huh?

I was getting along with this Dela girl for some time, when we began to get personal, she ask me where I am from, I said Akwa Ibom, she was like "Oh, Calabar!" . She never pick my call again, always up with excuse not to see me, I got the message and move on.

ITbomb:

I was getting along with this Dela girl for some time, when we began to get personal, she ask me where I am from, I said Akwa Ibom, she was like "Oh, Calabar!" . She never pick my call again, always up with excuse not to see me, I got the message and move on.

Maybe she didn't like YOU regardless of your "group".

iice:

Important. We are tribalistic.

From all that I have read on NL and off of NL - as well as my friendships with Africans in Chicago and in South Bend - I can say that you speak the truth.

It is just as important as ethnicity here in the U.S. - AA, White, German, French - tribe or ethnicity does play A MAJOR role - we are what we have been raised to think, respond and view life especially relationships.

There are many blacks that won' t marry outside of their race and whites as well. So I can definitely believe that a large majority of Africans can view marrying into different tribes in the same manner. Many aren't accepting of tribe mixing either.

I always give people the benefit of the doubt that they wouldn't make far-fetched presumptions about me based on my race, tribe and w/e other status. Fortunately, I've never been dissapointed.

2 b sincere, dat shud neva b a barrier. Dey ar even 4rm d same state. If u cant mari ur state indigene, hw abt dos 4rm oda states?

Yep this tribalism thing is a serious mess!!

@Gylae

Dont swear on what you have little control over. Many who end up in inter tribal marriages never planned for it. Love has no boundaries.

money is important not tribe!

love is not about tribe my dear

Just shun d hell,d fact dat som part of d country re tribalistic dosnt mean every source of d part must b also!in relationship it shd not b howfar bt howwell,luv is a self decision if d luvers re such luv binding d lives re also binding not tribe nor parents could tak any decision 4 them,even if they do,they ve only taken,cannt mak it binding nor acting.belief d spouse cannot b separated by dare tribes if rili they re in 4 luv nt even 2 lie bt hold d principles of dare luvs.period!

Just this afternoon I was forced to break up a nine months serious relationship with a girl I luv so much, just because my dad wont let me marry her cos she is not the same tribe with me. (I know many pple may doubt this, but I can use almighty God as my withness to this). I dont know whether I should call this extreme tribalism cos not dat my dad is just againt any particular tribe or tribes, his stand right from my childhood is dat on no account should I get married to any other tribe apart from my very tribe.
Dis has caused me some serious headace in the past cos I`m  really yet to see any available decent, trustworthy and seriuos minded girl(from my tribe of late) that I will like to settle down with.

daroz: Dude, you can just disobey your dad. If you're old enough to get married, you can make your own decisions. If you break up with a girl you love, it simply means your love for her is weak.

Seun:

daroz: Dude, you can just disobey your dad. If you're old enough to get married, you can make your own decisions. If you break up with a girl you love, it simply means your love for her is weak.

LOL, this is why i say LOVE is delusional.

So he should disobey his father because of a women.

What if things with in his relationship(which will always be) which father will he run to.

I have seen youth disobey the parents because of a relationship, and later regret it.

daroz:

Just this afternoon I was forced to break up a nine months serious relationship with a girl I luv so much, just because my dad wont let me marry her cos she is not the same tribe with me. (I know many pple may doubt this, but I can use almighty God as my withness to this). I dont know whether I should call this extreme tribalism cos not dat my dad is just againt any particular tribe or tribes, his stand right from my childhood is dat on no account should I get married to any other tribe apart from my very tribe.
Dis has caused me some serious headace in the past cos I`m  really yet to see any available decent, trustworthy and seriuos minded girl(from my tribe of late) that I will like to settle down with.

Marriage is not a joke, and inter-tribal marriage has its problems due to cultural and language difference.

The best thing you can do is to know the reasons behind your parent action.

Seun:

daroz: Dude, you can just disobey your dad.  If you're old enough to get married, you can make your own decisions.  If you break up with a girl you love, it simply means your love for her is weak.

seun, please i need to speak to you about a thread i saw, my email is fustieorazu@aol.com, please it is very very important.

Seun:

daroz: Dude, you can just disobey your dad.  If you're old enough to get married, you can make your own decisions.  If you break up with a girl you love, it simply means your love for her is weak.

Oga Seun, u wont understand. He has been very keen on this issue right from my childhood. And I feel I owe him a lot cos as a father I think he has really played his role in my life to the best of his abilities. So despite I feel his reasons for this decision are absurd, I still feel compelled to adhere to dis his desire and will, if not only just to honour him but because of the fact that (as our pple will often say) there may be something an old man is seeing while sitting down that a young man may not be seeing while on top of a tree.  Love can always come latter, cos as far as I am concerned, the so called luv is not a permanent state. So I wont want to put my good relationship with my family (dad in particular) in jeopardy just becos I feel I am so inluv with a girl I just met few months ago. Infact she wont even like it on the long run. As my pastor will always advice us, when trying to choose a live partner, Luv shouldnt be the 1st and only thing to consider. Infact there are some pple I had fallen inluv with in the past that I dont even care whether they exist anymore (presently). Why? Becos luv or hatred is always subject to change (depending on varies surrounding circumstances)

^^then keep a tighter rein on your emotions or else ask your dad to help you find a wife.

no biggie.

Gylae

I'm an Igbo man and the truth is my children cannot and will not marry from the north. Neither will they marry from the west. Take it or leave it. Call me tribalist if you must.

Besides calling yourself a "tribalist", you have not given any [b]plausible [/b]reasons maybe stereotypical or otherwise you'll not want your children to marry from the North or West. How are you going to explain your very narrow minded opinion to your children?. Children grow up and form their own opinions and rarely play according to your scripts especially if they are well adjusted/rounded Igbo citizens- Independent minded and self assured according to Igbo culture. You do not have control over their life choices let alone desires. You can hold on to your prejudices as usual because it's comforting to your ego to believe in myths and stereotypes. Deliberate ignorance is truly sinful and not excusable. It's a choice you've made.

daroz

Just this afternoon I was forced to break up a nine months serious relationship with a girl I luv so much, just because my dad wont let me marry her cos she is not the same tribe with me.

^^ I don't believe the so called serious relationship was that serious let alone you actually loving the girl so much . It's obvious that you are immature despite 'cultural' barriers and parental objections to such unions which you were fully aware of before you entered a nine months old relationship. What were you thinking, knowing fully well that you do not have the balls/guts to stand your ground to parental disapproval or not? It's shocking to read your lame excuse- "just because my Dad wont let me marry because she's not the same tribe with me". Truthfully, you give men from whatever your ethnic background is a bad name/image with that kind of thinking and weakness(character) .

Nigeria as a multi-ethnic society with many cultures.But there's a culture that has cut across all of them and that is tribalism.Everyone is guilty of it both in politics business, religion and even marriage.lets face it its gonna be hard to eliminate

By the way @Cheikh, are u a male or female

daroz

   

 

By the way @Cheikh, are u a male or female

 

^^ Well. I quite sympathise with you because like many Nigerians some have become victims of the culture which does not tolerate nor accept dissent from a child no matter how old you are . I guess you are from the South West or Edo, so I quite understand the pressure and difficulty in trying to dissent from parental diktats. Nevertheless you should have tried a little harder . i hope you do not take my opinion as gospel or personal please Have a good day .

cheikh is male name in Senegal.

Gylae:

I'm an Igbo man and the truth is my children cannot and will not marry from the north. Neither will they marry from the west. Take it or leave it. Call me tribalist if you must.

That’s what you’ve said
When your children are up to that stage they will say their own
As long as life is concern you can’t make choice for them in this modern time
I bet you

I can only support /advise you like you said not to allow your child to get married to any northern fellows

Every relationship should base on love and not about Tribe

emmatok:

LOL, this is why i say LOVE is delusional.

So he should disobey his father because of a women.

What if things with in his relationship(which will always be) which father will he run to.

I have seen youth disobey the parents because of a relationship, and later regret it.

You are assumming everyone run to their father for help? You dont deal with issues yourself as a grown up?

Will daddy tell you a grown man when to have sex too?

Majority of humans may not admit it, but they are ruled by racism and tribalism. You see blacks who accuse whites of racism are guilty of tribalism. One Non-Igbo man swore that her daughter will never marry an Igbo man. A Yoruba woman kicked against her daughter's Akwa Ibom boyfriend. Then most non-Hausas in the south will never date or marry Hausas. In fact Yorubas don't like them at all. I was chatting with a young Hausa Fulani woman and my Igbo kinsman frowned and was hostile and till date she never came to our office again. If I mention his name, he will never receive any cooperation and support from Hausas. Igbo girls DON'T LIKE their Igbo guys dating Yoruba girls. In fact, they hiss at it. Igbo girls will collect money and other goodies from Yoruba guys, but will only date few of them. Igbos and Hausas are the most tribalistic people in Nigeria. Forget that Igbos go anywhere to trade and make money, but they will not marry their non-Igbo hosts although they may sleep with them. Yoruba girls like Igbo guys, but they dislike Hausa guys. As for me, I don't mind where you come from as long as we love each other and can live and work together. I have dated whites, black Americans, black Igbos, Hausa, Yorubas, Akwa Ibom, Ogoja, Ishan, Bini, and Tiv girls and ladies. My numero uno is a Yoruba beauty and I love her 100% more than my past lovers.

Orikinla:

Majority of humans may not admit it, but they are ruled by racism and tribalism. You see blacks who accuse whites of racism are guilty of tribalism. One Non-Igbo man swore that her daughter will never marry an Igbo man. A Yoruba woman kicked against her daughter's Akwa Ibom boyfriend. Then most non-Hausas in the south will never date or marry Hausas. In fact Yorubas don't like them at all. I was chatting with a young Hausa Fulani woman and my Igbo kinsman frowned and was hostile and till date she never came to our office again. If I mention his name, he will never receive any cooperation and support from Hausas. Igbo girls DON'T LIKE their Igbo guys dating Yoruba girls. In fact, they hiss at it. Igbo girls will collect money and other goodies from Yoruba guys, but will only date few of them. Igbos and Hausas are the most tribalistic people in Nigeria. Forget that Igbos go anywhere to trade and make money, but they will not marry their non-Igbo hosts although they may sleep with them. Yoruba girls like Igbo guys, but they dislike Hausa guys. As for me, I don't mind where you come from as long as we love each other and can live and work together. I have dated whites, black Americans, black Igbos, Hausa, Yorubas, Akwa Ibom, Ogoja, Ishan, Bini, and Tiv girls and ladies. My numero uno is a Yoruba beauty and I love her 100% more than my past lovers.

Yoruba females are more likely to marry Hausa men than Igbos, very common to find inter tribal marriage; Hausas and Yorubas

Igbos are less likely to marry anyone else, I reckon it's more Honourable for an Igbo to marry a Chinese than a yoruba; Hausas being completely out of the question and Oyinbo being gold medal

@Op
The majority of our power elite are engaging in inter-ethnic marriages and relationships while the hapless ignorant citizenry squabble and argue over such mundane issues as tribe hence we are misruled by the same group of "friends" or minority.