@Gbenje 77
"A certain friend of mine just got involved with this chick.and of course,they are both from a particular nigerian state.But the guy actually belongs to a particular tribe with a damaged reputation.so,when the girl demanded to know his tribe,he had to lie about it.

he later informed me that,had he told the truth about his tribe,the chick would have shown him a red card.And,to be honest,this guy qualifies as an absolute gentleman.
So,how important is tribe in nigerian relationships?Is it appropriate for people to generalise that,if one is from a particular tribe with a supposedly damaged reputation,he is bad?"

It is important, not only with my family because they will never allow me to marry outside of my tribe, which I have no problem with but many of the Yoruba's I am around also take importance to it. It has to be from their tribe when it comes to marriage relationships. When it comes to dating relationships it depends really but some people won't even go that level because they don't want to go that level and become attached.

I don't think it is good to generalise when it comes to individual character & general values but when it comes to society and culture sometimes generalizations are true. For example yoruba society/culture values is different from igbo society/culture values or hausa society/culture values.

I think it depends on the tribe the person is from because some tribes in Nigeria take importance to tribe more then others; me as a Yoruba I can say majority of Yoruba's take importance to tribe.

Orikinla:

Majority of humans may not admit it, but they are ruled by racism and tribalism. You see blacks who accuse whites of racism are guilty of tribalism. One Non-Igbo man swore that her daughter will never marry an Igbo man. A Yoruba woman kicked against her daughter's Akwa Ibom boyfriend. Then most non-Hausas in the south will never date or marry Hausas. In fact Yorubas don't like them at all. I was chatting with a young Hausa Fulani woman and my Igbo kinsman frowned and was hostile and till date she never came to our office again. If I mention his name, he will never receive any cooperation and support from Hausas. Igbo girls DON'T LIKE their Igbo guys dating Yoruba girls. In fact, they hiss at it. Igbo girls will collect money and other goodies from Yoruba guys, but will only date few of them. Igbos and Hausas are the most tribalistic people in Nigeria. Forget that Igbos go anywhere to trade and make money, but they will not marry their non-Igbo hosts although they may sleep with them. Yoruba girls like Igbo guys, but they dislike Hausa guys. As for me, I don't mind where you come from as long as we love each other and can live and work together. I have dated whites, black Americans, black Igbos, Hausa, Yorubas, Akwa Ibom, Ogoja, Ishan, Bini, and Tiv girls and ladies. My numero uno is a Yoruba beauty and I love her 100% more than my past lovers.

No, that is not true, especially with muslim Yoruba's. Yoruba women love their yoruba men but the few that marry out of their tribe, I rarily see or heard of a yoruba women/igbo man couple just twice plus you and your grilfreind but I have heard more with yoruba women/hausa men; mostly of the muslim religion but a few are christains

Dis Guy:

Yoruba females are more likely to marry Hausa men than Igbos, very common to find inter tribal marriage; Hausas and Yorubas

Igbos are less likely to marry anyone else, I reckon it's more Honourable for an Igbo to marry a Chinese than a yoruba; Hausas being completely out of the question and Oyinbo being gold medal

Cosign 100%, for the most part Yoruba women don't marry outside their tribe but if they do the only two tribes in Nigeria I have seen them consider is Hausa men or Edo men; and it is more prevalent with Hausa men. Maybe hausa men after yoruba men understand Yoruba women but there are more marriages between hausa's and yoruba's then yoruba's and igbo's. These mixed marriages though in the end of the day are low but I think the reason that hausa/Yoruba mixed marriages work is because some of the yoruba's that marry hausa's are both muslim(and it is mostly with yoruba women & hausa men)

Well times have change and we need to move with the time. well once both parties are educated i dont think tribe is suppose to be a barrier

for the most part Yoruba women don't marry outside their tribe but if they do the only two tribes in Nigeria I have seen them consider is Hausa men or Edo men

calabar men also, but actually there are few or no tribes that they wouldnt consider if we're talking about the tiny amount of yoruba women who marry outside their ethnicity.

meaning you can probably find yoruba women married to any tribe in nigeria, just that the number is very small.

sometimes they marry ijaw men also. Strained history there however.

i think hausa men generally would be attractive to most women from any tribe, were it not for the religion factor and also the strained relations between north and south.

they tend to be easy going and laid back [for the most part] though this isnt always a good thing.

yoruba men are also like that when dating, hence one of the reasons why they're hotcakes to other tribes- they're like christianized or southernized hausa and not forbidden like hausa.

tpia@:

calabar men also, but actually there are few or no tribes that they wouldnt consider if we're talking about the tiny amount of yoruba women who marry outside their ethnicity.

meaning you can probably find yoruba women married to any tribe in nigeria, just that the number is very small.

sometimes they marry ijaw men also. Strained history there however.

i think hausa men generally would be attractive to most women from any tribe, were it not for the religion factor and also the strained relations between north and south.

they tend to be easy going and laid back [for the most part] though this isnt always a good thing.

yoruba men are also like that when dating, hence one of the reasons why they're hotcakes to other tribes- they're like christianized or southernized hausa and not forbidden like hausa.

I Know one yoruba woman that ended up with a calabar man but I never knew Yoruba women had a little preference for Calabar or Ijaw men in general(must be very low though) but it isn't as strong for their preference for their own Yoruba men or Hausa men. I also agree with what you said Yoruba men when they end up with hausa women both are always christain but when Yoruba women end up with hausa men both most of the time are Muslim but there are christian yoruba women/hausa men couples. I have a friend that has a yoruba mother and hausa father and both are christain.

i wouldnt say it's a preference- just looking at the estimates for the tiny number of yoruba women who marry outside their tribe.

the most likely tribes you'll find them are hausa, edo (benin specifically), calabar, ijaw- maybe in that order, or maybe not. Cant really tell.

and the attributes found in hausa males which would have made them attractive marriage partners but for the religious and taboo aspect, are also very common in yoruba males, which i think makes them (yoruba men) an easy alternative to hausa, as far as most southern non-yoruba tribes are concerned.

just my opinion of course- i could be wrong.

tpia@:

i wouldnt say it's a preference- just looking at the estimates for the tiny number of yoruba women who marry outside their tribe.

the most likely tribes you'll find them are hausa, edo (benin specifically), calabar, ijaw- maybe in that order, or maybe not. Cant really tell.

and the attributes found in hausa males which would have made them attractive marriage partners but for the religious and taboo aspect, are also very common in yoruba males, which i think makes them (yoruba men) an easy alternative to hausa, as far as most southern non-yoruba tribes are concerned.

just my opinion of course- i could be wrong.

For the small number of yoruba women who marry out of their tribe, I do agree with your assessment that it is preference and you order is right on point, after Yoruba men; Hausa men are their first alternative followed by Edo men and so on. It is true though some of the qualities that are in yoruba men that Yoruba women love are found in Hausa men to a extent.

You are right on point, you are not wrong

It is true though some of the qualities that are in yoruba men that Yoruba women love are found in Hausa men to a extent.

yes, i noticed that.

similar dating habits, no doubt.

tpia@:

yes, i noticed that.

similar dating habits, no doubt.

True, Many Hausa men understand Yoruba women and the reverse at times so they easily connect; I have heard that many not all but many that are wealthy and have multiple wives just expect one of the wives to be yoruba in that league of wives they have at times.

^^true.

hausa men are free daters, just like yoruba men.

they dont discriminate when dating, for the most part.

the harem aspect is also correct.

tpia@:

^^true.

hausa men are free daters, just like yoruba men.

they dont discriminate when dating, for the most part.

the harem aspect is also correct.

cosign 100%, polygamy is embraced with the hausa tribe and accepted to a extent with yoruba's(specifically Yoruba muslims)

So essentially the trend seems to be:

yoruba men- first choice

hausa men- second choice

edo men (bini)- third choice

calabar or ijaw men- fourth choice.

For yoruba women that is.

I may check up the figures for women from other ethnicities and nationalities later.

For most hausa women i think it would read something like:

hausa men- first choice

hausa men- second choice

hausa men- third choice

middle beltan (could also be used interchangeably with hausa on occasion)- fourth choice

non-nigerian (muslim?)- fifth choice

southerner if the lady is a rebel

tpia@:

So essentially the trend seems to be:

yoruba men- first choice

hausa men- second choice

edo men (bini)- third choice

calabar or ijaw men- fourth choice.

tpia@:

For most hausa women i think it would read something like:

hausa men- first choice

hausa men- second choice

hausa men- third choice

middle beltan (could also be used interchangeably with hausa on occasion)- fourth choice

non-nigerian (muslim?)- fifth choice

southerner if the lady is a rebel

seems very correct to me, Hausa women are very loyal to their men; which I respect them for.

For ijaw girls ( remember this is my personal opinion and not set in stone).

I think it depends on which area they're from, and the host tribe. But in general, and based on port harcourt area, i'd say:

white men (regardless of nationality): first choice

ijaw or yoruba men- second choice

igbo or yoruba men- third choice

Igbo men could also tie with ijaw men for second choice- i'm not too sure.

Ijaw men could also be second choice.

Some ijaw ladies can also marry from any of the deltan tribes.

Its rather confusing but depends on location, like i said.

Anyone with better information should correct this.

Also, hausa men are either second, third or fourth choices together with the non-oyibo nigerians.

tpia@:

For ijaw girls ( remember this is my personal opinion and not set in stone).

I think it depends on which area they're from, and the host tribe. But in general, and based on port harcourt area, i'd say:

white men (regardless of nationality): first choice

ijaw or yoruba men- second choice

igbo or yoruba men- third choice

Igbo men could also tie with ijaw men for second choice- i'm not too sure.

Ijaw men could also be second choice.

Some ijaw ladies can also marry from any of the deltan tribes.

Its rather confusing but depends on location, like i said.

Anyone with better information should correct this.

Also, hausa men are either second, third or fourth choices together with the non-oyibo nigerians.

Interesting, I am familiar with the dating & marriage patterns of Hausa and Yoruba women & to a extent igbo women but not so much with the small tribes of Nigeria. However I have noticed non-yoruba or non-hausa women tend to be more open in marrying and dating outside their race and culture

^^yes, non-yoruba and non-hausa women tend to date outside their cultures more, compared to these two groups.

for urhobos, dont know much about the female dating patterns as well, but i think for the most part, they might have:

urhobo men- first choice

urhobo men- second choice

itsekiri/delta/edo/yoruba men(?) third choice

not too sure what the dynamics are between them and ijaw and hausa men, but it could be there with itsekiri/delta/edo as third choice.

just guessing here- dont have much to go by.


The few urhobo males i know are yoruba speaking and some of them are like yoruba men when it comes to players.

any other major southern tribe that i missed?

edo women (bini, ishan, isoko, etc).

might need to be viewed separately.

Bini women- first choice yoruba, bini or white men

yoruba or white men- second choice

akoko edo side and its environs- third choice

bini men- fourth choice if not first



isoko women might follow similar patterns though I'm not sure. And igbo would be in there somewhere- maybe between first and third choices.




ishan women:

igbo men- first choice

ishan, or delta men (like delta igbo)- second choice

delta or yoruba men- third choice

hausa- either third or fourth choice.

and, white men would be in there somewhere as one of those choices.

just guessing here, thank you.

If both parties are educated i dont think tribe is suppose to be a barrier

My babe told me she wouldnt have touched me with a long pole if I were a Northerner.

tpia@

I think that Northern men are free daters and have become very attractive because of the perceived power/economic dynamics in the country since the military incursion into governance. We cannot deny the inherent economic factor in the "dating" arena in our society. How many Southerners have actually had any close contact let alone relationship with a so called muslim Northerner? The attraction is basically economic and ephemeral because a lot of Southern females are inherently mercenary in their desires . I do not dispute your opinion on the rest of the inter/intra dating jungle.

tpia@:

^^yes, non-yoruba and non-hausa women tend to date outside their cultures more, compared to these two groups.

True

tpia@:

edo women (bini, ishan, isoko, etc).

might need to be viewed separately.

Bini women- first choice yoruba, bini or white men

yoruba or white men- second choice

akoko edo side and its environs- third choice

bini men- fourth choice if not first



isoko women might follow similar patterns though I'm not sure. And igbo would be in there somewhere- maybe between first and third choices.




ishan women:

igbo men- first choice

ishan, or delta men (like delta igbo)- second choice

delta or yoruba men- third choice

hausa- either third or fourth choice.

and, white men would be in there somewhere as one of those choices.

just guessing here, thank you.

tpia@:

for urhobos, dont know much about the female dating patterns as well, but i think for the most part, they might have:

urhobo men- first choice

urhobo men- second choice

itsekiri/delta/edo/yoruba men(?) third choice

not too sure what the dynamics are between them and ijaw and hausa men, but it could be there with itsekiri/delta/edo as third choice.

just guessing here- dont have much to go by.


The few urhobo males i know are yoruba speaking and some of them are like yoruba men when it comes to players.

interesting, as I said before I am not aware to much with the small tribes of Nigeria; good assessment

cheikh:

tpia@

I think that Northern men are free daters and have became very attractive because of the perceived power/economic dynamics in the country since the military incursion into governance. We cannot deny the inherent economic factor in the "dating" arena in our society. How many Southerners have actually had any close contact let alone relationship with a so called muslim Northerner? The attraction is basically economic and ephemeral because a lot of Southern females are inherently mercenary in their desires . I do not dispute your opinion on the rest of the inter/intra dating jungle.

Some Yoruba's have, especially of the muslim religion. Some muslim hausa's(low in numbers) actually live in Lagos.

cheikh:

tpia@

I think that Northern men are free daters and have became very attractive because of the perceived power/economic dynamics in the country since the military incursion into governance.

hmm, well, i'm not sure about that.

hausa men just seem to have a very laid back and romantic character- most women like these attributes in a male, especially when dating. However, as i pointed out, being laid back isnt necessarily a good thing.

their (hausa men's) openness towards dating or interacting with other tribes also boosts their desirability to women, if you ignore the religious, forbidden and cultural (harem) aspect.

interesting, as I said before I am not aware to much with the small tribes of Nigeria; good assessment

i was expecting folks from some of these tribes to either confirm or deny the assessments, but no one seems interested i suppose.

anonymous6

Some Yoruba's have, especially of the muslim religion. Some muslim hausa's(low in numbers) actually live in Lagos.

Haba , since when does living in Lagos or any place in Nigeria imply close contact and mixing with the host community beyond trading/business contact? Being Yoruba muslim does not also give free and easy access/contact with their religious brethren either. There are a lot more Nigerians from the South residing in the so called muslim North, yet we know that all the cities and towns are demarcated into two etc(Sabon Gari). The contacts are usually superficial except in public offices where such romances are likely to happen but rarely outside of that domain.
The men may appear to some southern females as laid back etc but that's a matter of personal(some female) perception and desire not exactly a provable attribute in the men either. Who do you think are the most aggressive in realty?

The men may appear to some southern females as laid back

just generally speaking, and i specifically mentioned dating and romance.

remember, it's been pointed out hausa men have some of the same attributes as yoruba men when it comes to relationships.

yoruba men can also be called laid back but it doesnt mean they cant also be described as aggressive or something else.

cheikh:

anonymous6
Haba , since when does living in Lagos or any place in Nigeria imply close contact and mixing with the host community beyond trading/business contact? Being Yoruba muslim does not also give free and easy access/contact with their religious brethren either. There are a lot more Nigerians from the South residing in the so called muslim North, yet we know that all the cities and towns are demarcated into two etc(Sabon Gari). The contacts are usually superficial except in public offices where such romances are likely to happen but rarely outside of that domain.
The men may appear to some southern females as laid back etc but that's a matter of personal(some female) perception and desire not exactly a provable attribute in the men either. Who do you think are the most aggressive in realty?

well you are right at times their are more southerns in the north then vice versa but most of the romantic encounters with hausa men tend to be when these men go to the south not vice versa

The most aggressive men in Nigeria, I wouldn't really know by tribe because I feel that runs with all of them but it is more stronger in some men then others I think; tricky question

tribe is very important in nigerian relationships but things are better now than it was 30 years ago.
in the next 30 years, things would get even better as more people are exposed to civilization and the bigots and tribalists die of old age and go extinct.

love knows no tribe, race, colour or height.