Good afternoon everyone, pls I urgently need your advice and suggestions on this.

My husband has been out of job since towards the end of last year. Almost the same time I had my second baby. The truth is, the same me nursing my baby has been the same person struggling to provide for the home.

Knowing that he contributed to his lost of job. He goes to work late, different excuses, doing the job anyhow that the management had to fire him. This is the second job he's losing due to carelessness.
He wasn't still meeting up with responsibilities even when he had those jobs. He was always complaining of TP expenses, deduction due to late coming, his salaries was not benefiting us.

Our present accomodation of 250k, one bedroom apartment is expiring ending of next month and I don't know how we're going to pay for the rent. The previous rent I have always contributed when I had the money.
Presently I have no job. I left my job during delivery, but I'm hoping to start looking for job very soon. Yet, I'm not idle. I'm still trying with little business to cartar for the house.

The issue now is, he has arranged his stuffs preparing to relocate to the village and he wants us to go together because he can't afford to renew the rent.
I told him I can't go to the village with him, we are too young to start retiring to the village. What about good school for the children especially my first child? But he has decided to go without us, leaving us with the whole responsibilities.
I'm afraid, I can't afford everything here either. But going with him to the village is also very scary. A man who ignore us when there's nothing in the house, waiting for me to fix, how can I trust him and relocate with my two children to his village? I can't speak their language and it's an interior village, How do we survive there?
He's not even considering all these.
Pls, advice me on what to do. I'm really fed up.

Don't go. Let him go alone

You find a very cheap accomodation and do menial things you can do and make up to 50k per month. Like fried potato chips, fried plantain chips. Supply to shops. God will take care of you


When the chips are down, men drop professionalism.and go for what's available. If he can't forgo his pride and learn driver to get a car or bus he can drive and make daily income, divorce him. You don't need a loser as a mother of children. When things get tough, men ought to get tougher not fold up.


Going to village isn't proactive, productive, profitable or strategic. His inclinations as a man should tilt towards profitability not to recline to some nonsensical ideas. I travel.across multiple villages across the entire Nigeria. Let him go and try it for six months if he thinks the poverty in the city and that of the village are on the same.par

Technically we as strangers should have no say in how your home is run, that should be between you and your husband. You alone should decide whether you want to maintain your family unit and move with him to the village, or risk the possibility of a separation between husband and wife, father and children by refusing to go with him. Either one you choose will have its own advantages and consequences so think about it carefully.
A third option might be to help him look for any job that can persuade him to stay in the city

Growing up in the city , living in developed countries, I used to think village was all about what was shown in Nollywood

But I was wrong, a couple of years back I had a project in Kogi, Isanlu and this changed my perception

If he is going to the village, make sure it's for Agriculture or sales of agro commodity

This villagers live extremely cheap life, they use solar panels, eat cheap bush meat, buy fresh products, stay in cheap rented apartment, very serene quite almost dead environment, watch free to air Satellite TV



.

I really wish you well. You must be going through a lot.

Does Oga have someone older he respects, who can talk to him?

Hei gawd! What a difficult situation.

So, what are his plans when he gets to the village?
One cannot just up and relocate without plans.

On one hand, if you go with him, you don't know what awaits you and your children there, and on the other, if you stay back, you'll be labeled "the stubborn wife" who refused to go (retire) to the village with her husband.

Maybe, you should tell him to go ahead, when he's settled and has something going, then you and the children might join him.
Meanwhile, you look for something to do to support yourself and your children.

A man who gives up easily is not worthy of a family of his own.
Of what value is a man when his wife and children cannot rely on him?

No offense meant to your husband, by the way.

momsloved:
■ Good afternoon everyone, pls I urgently need your advice and suggestions on this. My husband has been out of job since towards the end of last year. Almost the same time I had my second baby. The truth is, the same me nursing my baby has been the same person struggling to provide for the home. Knowing that he contributed to his lost of job. He goes to work late, different excuses, doing the job anyhow that the management had to fire him. This is the second job he's losing due to carelessness. He wasn't still meeting up with responsibilities even when he had those jobs. He was always complaining of TP expenses, deduction due to late coming, his salaries was not benefiting us.
Our present accomodation of 250k, one bedroom apartment is expiring ending of next month and I don't know how we're going to pay for the rent. The previous rent I have always contributed when I had the money. Presently I have no job. I left my job during delivery, but I'm hoping to start looking for job very soon. Yet, I'm not idle. I'm still trying with little business to cartar for the house. The issue now is, he has arranged his stuffs preparing to relocate to the village and he wants us to go together because he can't afford to renew the rent. I told him I can't go to the village with him, we are too young to start retiring to the village. What about good school for the children especially my first child? But he has decided to go without us, leaving us with the whole responsibilities. I'm afraid, I can't afford everything here either. But going with him to the village is also very scary. A man who ignore us when there's nothing in the house, waiting for me to fix, how can I trust him and relocate with my two children to his village? I can't speak their language and it's an interior village, How do we survive there?
He's not even considering all these.Pls, advice me on what to do. I'm really fed up.

Your priority should be finding a job! You can let him take the first kid to the village with him— so long as you have family back there to care for the kid along with him— while you focus on securing a job as soon as possible so you can get the kid's things going from your end for the sake of your family.

By the way, people no dey take maternity leave again? Why outright quit your job for the sake of delivery?

Name of your village?

Ireportlive:




Growing up in the city , living in developed countries, I used to think village was all about what was shown in Nollywood

But I was wrong, a couple of years back I had a project in Kogi, Isanlu and this changed my perception

.

What project did you manage in Isanlu?

Does he have plans when he gets to the village?

Have you tried speaking with him in the manner that would make him see reasons with you. Why I asked these is that. Sometimes you may have better options, better opinions and plans but fails in communicating it to him In the way that he as the man would accept even though he know your plan could work.

Example; seat with him.

Respectfully have a good and calm discussion with him.

Like how about doing other little jobs around he can find.

How about getting a cheaper accommodations.

How about putting the kids in a more affordable school for the mean time while finances improves. If they are currently in more expensive one.

You know.

Use your woman and motherly power and wisdom, have a heart to heart discussion with him. Let him also see your fears about the village why it could potentially be a bad idea.

If you have not tried the above. Kindly try to.

Am sure both of you would reach a better solution to these.

Let love lead.

How does he intend to relocate to the village? It takes a minimum of N100-200k to relocate a family from one state to another.


Advise him to use that money to renew his rent. 365 days are enough to renew the struggle. The keyword there is "advise."

Acidosis:


What project did you manage in Isanlu?

A political job for Honorable Tajudeen Bismillah

Ireportlive:


A political job for Honorable Tajudeen Bismillah

Really? What year? 2018?

Ireportlive:




Growing up in the city , living in developed countries, I used to think village was all about what was shown in Nollywood

But I was wrong, a couple of years back I had a project in Kogi, Isanlu and this changed my perception

If he is going to the village, make sure it's for Agriculture or sales of agro commodity

This villagers live extremely cheap life, they use solar panels, eat cheap bush meat, buy fresh products, stay in cheap rented apartment, very serene quite almost dead environment, watch free to air Satellite TV



.

is the kids. Training the kids in a village will set them back. We are not living in the 80s

Mimicle101:
Does he have plans when he gets to the village?

Have you tried speaking with him in the manner that would make him see reasons with you. Why I asked these is that. Sometimes you may have better options, better opinions and plans but fails in communicating it to him In the way that he as the man would accept even though he know your plan could work.

Example; seat with him.

Respectfully have a good and calm discussion with him.

Like how about doing other little jobs around he can find.

How about getting a cheaper accommodations.

How about putting the kids in a more affordable school for the mean time while finances improves. If they are currently in more expensive one.

You know.

Use your woman and motherly power and wisdom, have a heart to heart discussion with him. Let him also see your fears about the village why it could potentially be a bad idea.

If you have not tried the above. Kindly try to.

Am sure both of you would reach a better solution to these.

Let love lead.

I have done all that. He said his mind is mind up.

Ireportlive:




Growing up in the city , living in developed countries, I used to think village was all about what was shown in Nollywood

But I was wrong, a couple of years back I had a project in Kogi, Isanlu and this changed my perception

If he is going to the village, make sure it's for Agriculture or sales of agro commodity

This villagers live extremely cheap life, they use solar panels, eat cheap bush meat, buy fresh products, stay in cheap rented apartment, very serene quite almost dead environment, watch free to air Satellite TV



.

You saw it that way because you brought in city money.
Money no dey village.

Acidosis:


Really? What year? 2018?

I think around 2020

mariahAngel:


You saw it that way because you brought in city money.
Money no dey village.

.true

But they don't have enough to stay in the city, inflation is rising, everything is expensive

Ireportlive:

.true

But they don't have enough to stay in the city, inflation is rising, everything is expensive

There are always cheaper options.

I.e room and parlor in cheap areas then they both try to earn monthly

momsloved:
I have done all that. He said his mind is mind up.

Your husband has indirectly told you that you’re on your own. So what kind of future do you want for yourself and your children? This should help influence your decision.

About two women I know who found themselves in this kind of situation stayed back in the city because of their children. As long as you’re ready to work hard and generate income for yourself and your children you will be fine. Start talking to everyone you know now as regards job, funds, alternative accommodation etc so that after your husband leaves you won’t be stranded.

momsloved:
I have done all that. He said his mind is mind up.

Why do you married an irresponsible man?

jesmond3945:
is the kids. Training the kids in a village will set them back. We are not living in the 80s

There are villages that have good private schools.

ChybuzzDD:
There are villages that have good private schools.

Example?

Please indicate Village Name, Local Government Area, and State, so we can investigate for ourselves the standard of education there abeg!

Damn!

There are no opportunities in the village. A village is a rural settlement, there's absolutely nothing there. There's no money in the village. So what would he be doing there? I guess he'll be climbing trees and cutting down Palm kernels.

I see the OP doing runz and hookup sooner or later in the city.

Dear men, don't be pressurised into getting married when you're not financially stable. Make sure you have landed properties, lnvestments, good business before thinking about marriage. Don't be a salary earner (except of course it's FG job).

Allow him na

“Till death do us part.” “For better and for worse.” Comma don dey? Una go enter marriage no think of the worst situations possible. I say you should follow him. Only you can’t play single parent unless you run back to the shelter of your parents’ household.

The village has fresh air and green foods, listen to your husband, besides the man is the head of the family..
Mainwhile if you're suffering from premature ejaculations and Erectile dysfunction watch this video and thank me later..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYPtgvwLkzw

Inside life.
No marry am you no gri...
Now the beast is out!

You are an adult, your decision is fine.

Village is better.

City cost.

If the man broke now, your naggings na high blood pressure

Let the villagers breathe.

Honestly, this is sad.


I'm just pitying the unfortunate driver that will pack all una worthless and dirty ngbongbo to the village. All the konkom milo, ragolis mmanu and ekete onions and cartons wey poverty no let una throway.

Tueh!!