Sometime I Bled In My Soul,crying And Feeling Hurt - Romance - Nairaland
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I Am Dead!! Please, Redeem My Soul From This Pit Of Friendzone! / He Is Crying And Threatening To Kill Himself / She Ended It, The Strangest Thing Is: She Kept Crying And Never Wanted To Leave (2) (3) (4)
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| Sometime I Bled In My Soul,crying And Feeling Hurt by linapeace(f): 10:59am On Sep 10, 2007 |
"This guy never sees anything good in me, but sometime he will want to pretend or control himselve but i do notice. he only say something good on bed.or if he want s*x. he communicate with his ex,she wrote him emails, although not often, but she always write it with the pet name they used to call each,and at the end of the contend with "LOVE". i always wonder why this is happenning, and when i asked he just say there is nothing between us am i still f***ing her.jeaslousy woman," why are you girls always jealous"?. If his Ex don't ask of our kids in their calls or emails, he get irritated and said she is not happy with herself. and that she don't care of his family, sometime i wonder what he still needs all these things for.infact he behaves like a child to me ,he is full of complain and he naggs to hell. even when his ex got so many new guys ,she will tell him of them just to get him jealous but he doesn't understand it. sometimes as a woman u need someone who will appreciate you,telling you what you are worth to him,but he is far from it. he doesn't want to end his relationship with his ex. even after telling me the hell he went through with her,but still they communicates, for me he is cheating on me and it is killing me emmotionally,cos it hinders me from feeling the way i want to feel with him. please what do i do? After this woman finished telling me this ,i cried cos i saw it in her emmotions ,i couldn't help but just to cry, all i could say was take heart, it will be okay, just take it to God in prayer, but my people what should she do, should she just fold her arms and watch or write an email to the hubby ex or what ,pls your contributions will be highly appreciated. |
| Re: Sometime I Bled In My Soul,crying And Feeling Hurt by naijacutee(f): 11:08am On Sep 10, 2007 |
Oh dear  ! And it seems she is already married to him! How will she come out of this one? I really do feel for her o. . . I wonder why our guys can be like this? Has anyone at all got a good experience with a Nigerian guy?  If you have, please post here before our young Nigerian ladies give up on them !! |
| Re: Sometime I Bled In My Soul,crying And Feeling Hurt by olanajim(m): 2:16pm On Sep 10, 2007 |
Naijacutee, Don't put ALL Nigerian men into this. Are you saying you have never seen a worthy Nigerian man. Keep searching he would find you out. @poster, Are the couple married or just living together? Have they kids between them? Is the man always like that or had only recently behaving badly? Why did he seperate( or divorced) mother of his child? Is the lady working? Or dependent on the man? What is their religion? Please supply answer to all the questions. |
| Re: Sometime I Bled In My Soul,crying And Feeling Hurt by olanajim(m): 2:17pm On Sep 10, 2007 |
Naijacutee, Don't put ALL Nigerian men into this. Are you saying you have never seen a worthy Nigerian man. Keep searching he would find you out. @poster, Are the couple married or just living together? Have they kids between them? Is the man always like that or had only recently behaving badly? Why did he seperate( or divorced) mother of his child? Is the lady working? Or dependent on the man? What is their religion? Please supply answer to all the questions. |
| Re: Sometime I Bled In My Soul,crying And Feeling Hurt by pamddi: 2:37pm On Sep 10, 2007 |
if the women wont speak can a guy say something, several women tell stories of their hurt and well most of them are true, but i feel most women are hurt by a few men. i meet men daily who are nice caring and loving. who have also had their hearts broken by women who "wanted more" u r not rich enough, ur borin, e.t.c guys say they hear from women and so the go after the guys who have a professional degree in toasting. most women i feel somethings are not honest with themselves, it is greed, just like guys have for a specific type of guy or girl that gets them hurt. most girl want fairytale guys and when he hurts them the just shout MEN R ALL BAD. says who |
| Re: Sometime I Bled In My Soul,crying And Feeling Hurt by kanmosyl(m): 3:04pm On Sep 10, 2007 |
pamddi:Nice talk Pamidi olanajim: |
| Re: Sometime I Bled In My Soul,crying And Feeling Hurt by naijacutee(f): 3:11pm On Sep 10, 2007 |
@ olanajim. I'm not putting all Nigerian men into this. It's just that everyones experience seems to be negative and I'd like to hear some positive ones. I'm not searching for anything, I'm just concerned for my sisters, that's all. @pamddi. I get what you mean. The equation works both ways, but why are there more scathed females than males? |
| Re: Sometime I Bled In My Soul,crying And Feeling Hurt by olanajim(m): 4:00pm On Sep 10, 2007 |
Naijacutee, if the truth must be told, there 'appeared' to be more men with heartbreak from women than we see. Let make a simple reasoning, using Nigeria as our case study. The official censor figure shows that Men outnumbered women. Yet, we have women crying daily for husbands. Where are the men? Why are they affraid of getting married or attached to women? It ought to be the men crying for wives yet, the reverse is the case. It is easy for you to say men are unserious. But a survey show that men are themselves willing to marry but searching for "the right woman". Next, men are emotionally strong and don't broadcast their pains to womenfolks. Most of them don't cry in the open but in the bedroom when they are hurt. I had witnessed that scenerio alot of time. In fact, someone close to me had experienced one of such! Yet, the lady in question received more sympathy because the guy didn't have to lean his heavy head on sanyone to cry on. Ironically, he did her no harm! She was lured away by a stupid trick- CAMERA PHONE! When I look at that experience, I am compelled to brand all women as idiots, irrational. But I never did. Why? Because I know that one exception does not speak for all. Also, in my relation with other people, I had observed that most of the women that are hurt have themselves to blame by shutting their eyes against the reality. A man would spend 90% of his money and energy chasing a lady: being nice and all sort of. The woman have the opportunity to study the man and reject him. But most women were blinded by materialism and other physical factors and ignore the man's behaviour probably hoping that he would change. The man get worse and the woman taste the bitter pill. Meanwhile, she would have humiliated good men on the same road. I therefore refuse to judge until I get my facts. My point is simple. Don't generalize. Yeah, there are some guys, I admit, whose primary goal is to use women like rags. We must be alert to any possibility. |
| Re: Sometime I Bled In My Soul,crying And Feeling Hurt by CrazyMan(m): 6:52pm On Sep 10, 2007 |
One problem with ladies is that they see signs ahead, but they ignore them hoping everything would get better. What are you doing with a guy who still has feelings for his ex? That guy is just inches away from giving you a terrible heart break. If you’re dating someone and you feel he or she isn’t giving you the kind of attention you need or you have mixed feelings about him/her; the first thing to do is to discuss it with him/her and if that person doesn’t change, then you quit that relationship; it’s for your own good. |
| Re: Sometime I Bled In My Soul,crying And Feeling Hurt by uspry1(f): 9:39pm On Sep 10, 2007 |
I don't usually date a guy who has his feeling for his ex-girl. Not worth to have relationship with his guy who has his feeling for someone---who am I? INVISIBLE?? Hell no! I should be deserved to be loved, not someone else. Dump guy who has his feeling for someone else!!! |
| Re: Sometime I Bled In My Soul,crying And Feeling Hurt by fatty27: 10:38pm On Sep 10, 2007 |
How will u knw he has or has no feeling for im ex if he no tel u? |
| Re: Sometime I Bled In My Soul,crying And Feeling Hurt by uspry1(f): 2:59am On Sep 11, 2007 |
fatty27: Obviously you are no experience in relationship, that is easy to catch the sign whether he has feeling or no feeling for his ex despite of no telling u. 1. Tell me what will your guy do when his cellphone ringing in front of you being romancing on or talking to or dining out with you? A. answer his cellphone in front of you, then tell you who it was? B. ignore his cellphone it rings, continue romancing/dining/talking to you? C. rush off giving you cold shoulder without saying excuse---hide himself other room talking on his cellphone? If you pick C, he does not really love you, because he is so excited talk to someone else behind your back, neglect you completely. 2. Tell me does he babble you all about his ex-relationship all the time? If yes, he babbles you all about his ex all the time, HEY you are fool, he still loves ex instead of you. |
| Re: Sometime I Bled In My Soul,crying And Feeling Hurt by linapeace(f): 9:44am On Sep 11, 2007 |
olanajim : Are the couple married or just living together? Have they kids between them? Is the man always like that or had only recently behaving badly? Why did he seperate( or divorced) mother of his child? Is the lady working? Or dependent on the man? What is their religion? Please supply answer to all the questions Yes they are married, but he was divorced b4 getting married to her. she knows notting about his ex,rather than when he told her all about his ex and how she cheated on him and threatened him with divorce earlier after which they settled and later got divorced. yes they have 3kids,he was only pretending to be nice and sometimes he is genuinely loving ,caring and nice.no his ex had no child 4 him after 7yrs of their marriage,she blocked her womb cos she don't want stress from children. NO the woman is not working cos her little baby is only 4months old. they are christian. pamddi:it is the truth ,most men are good to other women outside but to their own wife they are something else, they are just pretenders!!!! |
| Re: Sometime I Bled In My Soul,crying And Feeling Hurt by BABEELOVE(f): 9:51am On Sep 11, 2007 |
Sorry oh--------sweet 16! It is only a phase---it will pass soon!!!  What a wimp-------------women still have tears left to shed for guys ---------shakes head and fingers and toes!!!!  |
| Re: Sometime I Bled In My Soul,crying And Feeling Hurt by linapeace(f): 10:08am On Sep 11, 2007 |
BABEELOVE:: it is very painful is not that women still have tears to shed for guys but he is her man and the father of her kids.not that she cant come out of the marriage but all for the sake of her kids, she doen#t want them to experience a broken home. so don#t just talk like that only married women will understand. |
| Re: Sometime I Bled In My Soul,crying And Feeling Hurt by luvlawyer(f): 10:31am On Sep 11, 2007 |
@original poster, where are they based?, erhmmm yes ooo, has alot to do with it. if in naija its harder to say, but i will say it becos it would happen sooner or later close your eyes, pack ur load, find your way this would be considered a no-no with three kids! (think about all the baggage that would go with that move) inlaws, where do i sart? what about food and work etc, naija economy! if away, much easier (depending on circumstances) kai! with 4month old baby for the time being the baby needs to be strong first and mother needs all the strength and grace she can get. lol babeelove way to go!!! BABEELOVE: |
| Re: Sometime I Bled In My Soul,crying And Feeling Hurt by BABEELOVE(f): 10:48am On Sep 11, 2007 |
luvlawyer: See this babe giving us a bad rep!!!! I stopped crying at 20!!!---------Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat linapeace: What the heck is she talking about! I am on my third marriage if a may educate you and looking forward to the 4th! -----I will post my ring collections soon for you to see. If it is not working get the herrout!!!!If she has kids--what the heck is she crying about? She has gotten the best out of the dude no equity left-----------my friend---tell her she don "buy" market oooooh!!!! For this short life? Lai lai!!!! Let her just have a "coke" and a smile jo!!!!  Is she the first to have a 4 month old baby! Please she can't breast feed the baby and the man at the same time so please she needs to concentrate on the baby and stop giving herself unecessary wahala. When she gets herself back in shape and puts on her "thongy"-----trust me--dog when lost go hear whistle by force---she still dey wear nursing bra--tying some fucking faded wrapper around her chest with hair undone and she expects the man to come home? To be splashed with "booby juice" every night Na wa for some women oh!!! If I was the man I would even relocate from the house!  Baby girl please take care of ya shit---the man in in the "recycling" process. He will definitely return according to Murphy's or Okafor's Law!!!!  THIS IS BUSINESS----- There is time for everything oh! |
| Re: Sometime I Bled In My Soul,crying And Feeling Hurt by mekoyo(m): 10:55am On Sep 11, 2007 |
Lets get this straight. For me he is not the right man for the lady. He was married then why did he divorce? And they are still communicating? My dear lady that is not your man please step out of that relationship, he is married already, he's just using you as a partner, whenhe still has feelings for his ex. Divorce is a sin and it's not for children of God, so therefore that is not your husband. Jusdt go to God in prayer and let him lead and direct you. Take care |
| Re: Sometime I Bled In My Soul,crying And Feeling Hurt by BABEELOVE(f): 10:59am On Sep 11, 2007 |
mekoyo: Who cares if he is married or not---we are past that phase---children are in the picture---should have thought abourrrit before rolling in the haystack---fulfill your earthly obligations before you bring in heavenly ones! Abeg we no wan hearrrrrrrrrrrrrram!!! [b]Just do it like Nike says!!! |
| Re: Sometime I Bled In My Soul,crying And Feeling Hurt by luvlawyer(f): 11:09am On Sep 11, 2007 |
hhahhahhhha babeelove i go marry youuuuoooo i have met my type!!! you fecking crack me up |
| Re: Sometime I Bled In My Soul,crying And Feeling Hurt by mekoyo(m): 11:15am On Sep 11, 2007 |
Who cares if he is married or not---we are past that phase---children are in the picture---should have thought abourrrit before rolling in the haystack---fulfill your earthly obligations before you bring in heavenly ones! Abeg we no wan hearrrrrrrrrrrrrram!!! Just do it like Nike says!!! We never pass dat stage man. Divorce is now a something we do any how. It occurs especially amongst the american artists. We just have to stop all these mess. Marriage is a sacred thing and so it has to be respected. @babeelove What's your advice for her anyway? |
| Re: Sometime I Bled In My Soul,crying And Feeling Hurt by olanajim(m): 11:20am On Sep 11, 2007 |
@poster, I understand how it is for a woman with 3 kids to face such a situation. When you look at it from the outside, especially if you are not married, your thought impulse would go with majority that blame her. For marrying him, for staying with and all sorts. I perceived that lady to be a responsible lady who had committed a costly mistake of marrying an uncaring man. We must never add to her pains as she's probably reading this. We must not condemn her anyhow until we understand the complex nature of the problem. The story goes like this: a man was once madly in love with a lady. Both of them love one another and they had shared secrets together. After many years of wild courtship. The man's parents began urging him to marry. And then, he marry his lover. He know the imperfection of his would be wife, but was hoping that it would be jettisoned in marriage. Then come the big blow. The wife may not be able to conceive again having blocked her womb. The man couldn't swallow the bitter pill. And the love started losing steam. Then, the woman began extra marrital flings again. Caught, argument ensued and it eventually lead to break up. Divorce. Both agreed to part way but to remain friends! The man met another woman, who is homely and highly domesticated. He know what she wanted. He know her failing. In the name of love, he brainwashed her. Impregnated her and marry her. The joy of finally having a kid overshadowed every other things & they lives together without looking at the signs on the wall. Raising kids can sometimes make a women blind to other thing. Meanwhile, the man goes out early and come home late. Picks up strange calls that he would not want his wife to know. Their love is not as it used to be. Then the bubble burst. Caught, the man later confessed about his ex. And from there, the woman started observing him and noticed how much she had been neglected. Sad, pained, she tried to win him back. But it seen the man is past caring, Now she's here |
| Re: Sometime I Bled In My Soul,crying And Feeling Hurt by dearstan(m): 11:21am On Sep 11, 2007 |
I feel sorry for the heart broken lady. I wonder why nigerian ladies always think they are the victims in things like these. It pisses me off when i see them act in ignorance of what some nigerian men go through in their hands. |
| Re: Sometime I Bled In My Soul,crying And Feeling Hurt by olanajim(m): 11:22am On Sep 11, 2007 |
@poster, I understand how it is for a woman with 3 kids to face such a situation. When you look at it from the outside, especially if you are not married, your thought impulse would go with majority that blame her. For marrying him, for staying with and all sorts. I perceived that lady to be a responsible lady who had committed a costly mistake of marrying an uncaring man. We must never add to her pains as she's probably reading this. We must not condemn her anyhow until we understand the complex nature of the problem. The story goes like this: a man was once madly in love with a lady. Both of them love one another and they had shared secrets together. After many years of wild courtship. The man's parents began urging him to marry. And then, he marry his lover. He know the imperfection of his would be wife, but was hoping that it would be jettisoned in marriage. Then come the big blow. The wife may not be able to conceive again having blocked her womb. The man couldn't swallow the bitter pill. And the love started losing steam. Then, the woman began extra marrital flings again. Caught, argument ensued and it eventually lead to break up. Divorce. Both agreed to part way but to remain friends! The man met another woman, who is homely and highly domesticated. He know what she wanted. He know her failing. In the name of love, he brainwashed her. Impregnated her and marry her. The joy of finally having a kid overshadowed every other things & they lives together without looking at the signs on the wall. Raising kids can sometimes make a women blind to other thing. Meanwhile, the man goes out early and come home late. Picks up strange calls that he would not want his wife to know. Their love is not as it used to be. Then the bubble burst. Caught, the man later confessed about his ex. And from there, the woman started observing him and noticed how much she had been neglected. Sad, pained, she tried to win him back. But it seen the man is past caring, Now she's here |
| Re: Sometime I Bled In My Soul,crying And Feeling Hurt by BABEELOVE(f): 11:25am On Sep 11, 2007 |
mekoyo: I say she is giving herself unnecessary wahala--with all the children at home she is still love sick----She needs to get a job or a "handsome" driver like Ramsey Nouah---the man go come house quick!!! Me no dey complain oh!!! Every solution get problem and every problem get solution----------the one wey me a no go do na to sit one place dey cry---for wetin naaaaaaaaaaaa For one stupid prick when a done tire to look!!!!----------Long hisssssssssssssssss!!!! It is natural--when person tire to look you---lef am!!! Make im waka---e go come back!!! Who say love no need holiday? Instead of this woman to concentrate on herself--she is busy playing domestic police and psycho-analyst.---------- Frauline Sigmund Freud!!!! She go soon quench and the man will marry the ex-the day of her funeral!!! Nonsense!!!! For this short life? Huh!!! Mba nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!! It cunnnot 'appen!!!! Make she relax oh!!! the man don tire to look her crazy arse!!!! Make she siddon for thia--dey born every year say im wan prove fertility goddess---- looking like one aunty Jemimah abi na Mrs Butterworth-- If na me be the man I a for don relocate since---leave her crazy arse for the house. Na only on the children birthday a go dey come house. Ye ye woman. This na Okonjo Iweala type--read bukuru soteyyyyyyyyyyy forget how to take care of man---Don't worry babes like me are ready to help you out!!! Nonsense!!! |
| Re: Sometime I Bled In My Soul,crying And Feeling Hurt by BABEELOVE(f): 11:28am On Sep 11, 2007 |
olanajim: As usual----------Long tins--------with plenty "Splanations" Abeg eeeeeeeeeeeeee-----proff-----------men and women full for road oh!!!! Phock only those who want to phock you and leave the others to be phocked by others-----------you cannot have them all even if you are married to them---------Haba!!!!----------For this short life |
| Re: Sometime I Bled In My Soul,crying And Feeling Hurt by Bosdem(f): 11:31am On Sep 11, 2007 |
My dear, if u are not married to him i don't know what you are waiting for, he does not appreciate u, so wat are you still doing? |
| Re: Sometime I Bled In My Soul,crying And Feeling Hurt by BABEELOVE(f): 11:32am On Sep 11, 2007 |
luvlawyer: A dey available oh-----------you no know say a be "fishers of men"---------------no women oh. I am not a Lebanese!!!!!!  |
| Re: Sometime I Bled In My Soul,crying And Feeling Hurt by linapeace(f): 11:36am On Sep 11, 2007 |
BABEELOVE: i agreed with you, you know this life is very complex.and it is not really easy with the woman,they are based abroad . |
| Re: Sometime I Bled In My Soul,crying And Feeling Hurt by olanajim(m): 11:37am On Sep 11, 2007 |
@poster, as I was saying must we add salt to her injury and tell her how foolish she was in looking after her kids and blindfolded by a cunning man whose only goal is to have children? Must we tell her to leave the marriage and walk away with stigma of a broken home for both mother and children? Must we rant and rant about how bad the menfolks are and transform the whole drama to gender war? Meanwhile, the woman is still in pain and the man would always get another fresh blood to tantalize and the brainwashed! Going round the circle! I admonish the single women in the house for being insensitive to their colleague's plight. Rather than helping the hapless woman, you have added more pain to her wound. And turn the forum into another opportunity to bash menfolk. If we tell her to quit, we must remember the 3 kids who would bear the brunt of the broken home by no fault of theirs. If we tell her to endure, we know the pain her endurance is inflicting on her. By this facts, I set the tone for a meaningful discussion. I want us all put aside the gender war aside and see if we can help, |
| Re: Sometime I Bled In My Soul,crying And Feeling Hurt by BABEELOVE(f): 12:01pm On Sep 11, 2007 |
linapeace: SHURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT UP!!!!!!!!!!! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat(I am not insultin' you oh!--just ghetto, 2 cents, hoody language expression for get ourrra here or are you serious?---before you begin curse me--oh) You don't mean it!!!! Anyway I am not surprised. I actually thought this was happening in Nigeria somewhere in Etiti or Bariga somewhere over there. Some of our people are so timid--despite living abroad for so long---the[b] "abroad"[/b] cannot penetrate their psyche! These are the ones that jump from tropical food marts to tropical food marts purchasing the cheapest "okporoko" to make soup. Siddon for house breeding like rabbits--no school, no job!!! One of our akata abi na Jammo sisters don nab the dude!!!!! ----they give am the correct thing!!!!  Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!! E don happen!!!! I love it!!! Infact a no pity am! Make she cry buckets-----------village wife for abroad!!! Arangeeeeeeeeeee wife!!!!! This na mail-order bride!!! he he he he he he he!!!! Nonsense---I am happy to announce to you that you do not have a marriage----so please purchase tickets and head back to Nigeria--where you belong--- for you are too "bush" to take advantage of the "coping or defensive" mechanisms the almighty white man has made available at your disposal!!!! Ye ye woman!!!! |
| Re: Sometime I Bled In My Soul,crying And Feeling Hurt by olanajim(m): 12:06pm On Sep 11, 2007 |
I went to the extent of depicting the story for purpose. I am sure it would help a little. Babeelove, why do you always call me prof.? I beg don't let my people hear that o. On a serious note, you spoke my mind though partially. And that is on job. The lady should resolve to get job no matter how little she earn. That way, SHE AND HER CHILDREN WOULD NOT GO HUNGARY. Next, she should begin a process toward her financial independence. She must watchout for her husband activities and be very careful ( i don't how she can do this) lest the man bring STI home for her. That is my major concern. I don't know her age and her mental state, I cannot therefore say more than this. I leave the rest for others. I noticed she stay abroad, I am not commenting on that too unless I have a one on one dialogue with her. It is very dangerous to give advice on divorce on forum without direct contact with the victim and without evident facts. I must say that I have seen someone who had successfully pass through similar stage without going through divorce. Today her husband is now humble and subservient to her authority without her lifting a finger or doing any harsh thing. The key to that woman success was economic domination. She put her head in her work, ignored the man and gave the kids good education. Today, the kids don't even want to see their dad while he begs! The man ran himself aground and lost his fortune. The are all alive today, still one family with the woman calling the shots! |
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