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Sunday Night Giveaway (jokes Section) - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

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Sunday Night Giveaway (jokes Section) by Nobody: 10:30pm On Sep 10, 2023
GIVEAWAY GIVEAWAY GIVEAWAY!
This Sunday night giveaway brought to you by me.
Answer these questions below and win collect 30K NGN afterwards fast fast: cheesy

1) What is the name of the soldier who nailed Jesus Christ to the cross, and what was his military rank?

2) What kind of wood was used to craft the wooden cross ?

Time allowed for this exam is anything before 12 AM tomorrow morning. After that, your participation will be invalid.

Scoring 100% = automatic one-way ticket to heaven, with an all-expense-paid tour of David's Villa over there.

Scoring 70% = You will be granted entry into Paradise/heaven , but you will be assigned the role of cleaning the tables and washing the dishes after the 24 elders are done with their daily meals. Angel Raphael will be your supervisor to ensure compliance.

Scoring 50% = You will be allowed into Paradise but you will have to continually renew your resident permit by coming down to earth (Nigeria and Congo Brazzaville) to live and work on farms for six months daily.

Scoring 30% = Spending 600 years in purgatory and discussing about politics with Gaddafi, and Emperor Nero every morning by 3 a.m in a dark room.

A 10% score will see you repeating this lifetime all over again, with the same stress you've been through doubled (no be juju be dat? shocked ) and then still be sent to Hades to await trial/judgemt.

A 0% score = getting whisked away to hefaya ( hell fire 🔥) straight on a brand new high-speed Concorde aircraft.
Good luck guys. grin

Your time starts now.

Begin!

3 Likes

Re: Sunday Night Giveaway (jokes Section) by Shomek(m): 10:38pm On Sep 10, 2023
Go ask google

1 Like

Re: Sunday Night Giveaway (jokes Section) by Nobody: 10:39pm On Sep 10, 2023
My own exam answers are as followed:

1) The name of the soldier who nailed Jesus' hands and feet to the wooden cross (or tree ) was Nail'buchadnezzer the heathen soldier.
He was of the rank of an ' Executioner '

2) The wood used was the cedar wood tree from the forests of Lebanon.

Tsankyou Mr. Examiner.

PS: * kneels down pleading *
Allow me to enter into heaven, Sir. I beg of you cry
Let me just see the golden road and the crystal lake that flows from the throne of the one who has lived from the immeasurable beginning of time. shocked

Submit yours when you are done.

1 Like

Re: Sunday Night Giveaway (jokes Section) by Nobody: 10:42pm On Sep 10, 2023
Shomek:
Go ask google
Wrong!

You've scored.........%
Class, should we tell him?? grin

Last chance. I don't want you to repeat this class. tongue

Or, is your final answer " Google "

1 Like

Re: Sunday Night Giveaway (jokes Section) by Shomek(m): 10:54pm On Sep 10, 2023
PaulOtl:
Wrong!
You've scored.........% Class, should we tell him?? grin
Last chance. I don't want you to repeat this class. tongue
Or, is your final answer " Google "


dey play

1 Like

Re: Sunday Night Giveaway (jokes Section) by Nobody: 11:02pm On Sep 10, 2023
Shomek:
dey play

Play is good for the brain and soul. Thanks, Sir. I will continue to " dey play " Sir smiley

Meanwhile, you've scored 30% for your lack of humour, lack of emotional attachment, wanton disrespect towards the examinations council, and signs of spirit-coconess.😁😁😅

The verdict has been passed. 30% is your take-home score. 🤷 lipsrsealed

2 Likes

Re: Sunday Night Giveaway (jokes Section) by Zee0007: 11:37pm On Sep 10, 2023
I love this op.
Re: Sunday Night Giveaway (jokes Section) by Nobody: 12:00am On Sep 11, 2023
Zee0007:


Unfortunately, fig tree is the wrong answer.

The same tree that your Messiah cursed is the same tree species his father would allow him to be crucified with? Highly impossible cheesy cheesy

In fact, that answer feels like an uppercut to the legacy of Christ. grin

The answer to that question is between a cedar tree and a dogwood tree.

A fig tree would possibly be too light and small to be used for crucifixion.

Remember this is the jokes section, and even the giveaway offer is, or was equally a joke. I'm constrained right now and unable to assist you with the cash you seek for. smiley
To many things on my plate.
Bear with me.
I pray that the good Lord meets you at the point of your urgent needs. In Jesus'name. Amen.

Best wishes, Sir.
Re: Sunday Night Giveaway (jokes Section) by Nobody: 12:15am On Sep 11, 2023
Zee0007:


However, thanks for the answer to the number one question. I learnt something new there.
But come oh, bros...bring your ear closer make them no hear us...

Ehen, you and I know say that soldier had a name. Abi, did his mother not deem it fit to give him a name after he waa birthed? cheesy
Did they know that he will ultimately end up being a soldier in the Roman military?
No nau...
Brother Mi, you knoweth not that name. Just talk true. Hehe grin

All the same, you have scored 80% for your effort and determination. Oh, and your faith in the examiner. I know you kinda had strong faith in yourself that you had answered those two questions accurately. grin
You're going to heaven and then Paradise!
Re: Sunday Night Giveaway (jokes Section) by Nobody: 12:28am On Sep 11, 2023
Moderator of this section, kindly CLOSE THIS THREAD
The joke is over. It is a new day now. This thread has expired smiley
And I'm off to bed to meet up with others for the dream world's activities slated for today.


Ciao cheesy

1 Like

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