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Cleric, Bride’s Father Disagree On Who Should Declare Marriage Has Taken Place by dre11(m): 12:17pm On Sep 15, 2023
The action of the bride’s father raises a fundamental question of when a marriage could be said to have really taken place – is it when a priest makes a declaration or when the parents of the bride and the groom give their consent, during a traditional ceremony?


There was a mild drama in a wedding ceremony in a church in Calabar, Cross River State, when the bride’s father and a cleric disagreed on who between the two had the power to declare the couple as husband and wife.

The wedding, held on 9 September at Liberty Gospel Church, Calabar, was live streamed on Facebook.

The groom was Francis Mbosowo and the bride, Kubiat, according to the information on the Facebook page.

Helen Ukpabio, an apostle and founder of the church, who officiated the wedding, publicly asked the bride’s father if the groom had fulfilled all the traditional requirements before the church could go ahead to “join them as husband and wife”.

“[b]They are already husband and wife,” the bride’s father responded. The congregants laughed out loud[/b].

No, they are not until we pronounce them,” Mrs Ukpabio said to the man.

“But has he satisfied you?” She asked him.

“They are already husband and wife,” the bride’s father responded again, sounding adamant. The congregants, again, laughed out loud.


The exchange between the cleric and the bride’s father, quite an uncommon scene in a wedding ceremony usually considered a solemn event, especially the moment where a priest is about to declare a couple husband and wife, appeared to have provided entertainment for the congregants at the Liberty Gospel Church.

“Okay, did you hear what I said?” Mrs Ukpabio asked the bride’s father, who turned around and gazed at the apostle who was standing at the podium, a few metres away from where the groom, the bride and their families stood.

“I said, has he satisfied you? You are not coming (here) to make a pronouncement. I will make the pronouncement,” Mrs Ukpabio said firmly.

“Has he satisfied you?” Mrs Ukpabio asked again.

The man did not respond. There was silence inside the church. The man glanced at his daughter and the man who would be her husband. The three spoke among themselves in low tones.


‘No, you didn’t join them’

The apostle repeated the question in the Efik language, in case the man did not understand English.

The man said he understood the question she was asking.

He told the apostle he had pronounced the couple as husband and wife during the traditional marriage rites, which took place a few days before the church wedding.

“No, you didn’t join them,” the apostle said to him. “I am the one to join them together, in the name of Jesus.”

“Did this young man satisfy you according to the tradition of your list? You gave him a list, did he satisfy you?” she asked for the eighth time.

“If you said you had joined them together, we dismiss (from here) and everybody goes away.”

Mrs Ukpabio was getting frustrated with the man’s attitude, it appeared. “What’s the problem here? Has this man given you your traditional rights?” she asked him again.

“Yes, he had given!” The man, who now appeared to have finally given up, responded. The congregants burst into laughter. The groom laughed too.

“Eehee! That’s what you should have said.”

The apostle asked the groom’s family if they knew the bride, and if they were willing to accept her into their family. They responded in the affirmative.

Mr Ukpabio continued with the wedding ceremony, including the groom unveiling the bride, the exchange of marital vows and rings, before she finally declared the couple as husband and wife.

“In the Mighty name of Jesus! Our father, a new home has begun,” she prayed for the couple.

“Our father, we declare that every other foundation that someone had laid on account of these people is hereby destroyed, and destroyed, and destroyed, and destroyed. We scattered, we uproot, we cast out, (and) we burn with fire in the name of Jesus!”

“Amen!” the congregants chorused.


Fundamental question

Church wedding (some people call it ‘white wedding’) is a culture that was handed down to Nigerians by the Europeans through colonisation.

Some Nigerians prefer to go to the church for their wedding after doing it the traditional way. There are still others who would love to add a third one – court marriage.

Mrs Ukpabio was simply following a time-honoured ceremony in a typical Christian wedding in Nigeria where the church seeks the consent of both parents before pronouncing a couple husband and wife but the action of the bride’s father raises a fundamental question of when a marriage could be said to have really taken place – is it when a priest makes a declaration or when the parents of the bride and the groom give their consent, during a traditional ceremony?

“I have seen people marry without their parent’s consent. The exact moment a marriage is said to have taken place can vary from place to place and country to country,” Eno Adams, from Akwa Ibom State, said in May in a response to a question posed by a PREMIUM TIMES reporter.

“Some might consider it to be when the couple says ‘I do’ or equivalent affirming words, while others might consider it to be when the official pronounces them married, or when the marriage is legally registered. Regardless, the key point is that marriage typically involves a combination of a legal process (obtaining a licence and registering the marriage) and a ceremonial act (the wedding ceremony).”

https://www.premiumtimesng.com/news/top-news/625633-cleric-brides-father-disagree-on-who-should-declare-marriage-has-taken-place.html

1 Like

Re: Cleric, Bride’s Father Disagree On Who Should Declare Marriage Has Taken Place by taylor88(m): 12:17pm On Sep 15, 2023
tongue
Re: Cleric, Bride’s Father Disagree On Who Should Declare Marriage Has Taken Place by atiku4President(m): 12:18pm On Sep 15, 2023
At holy sacrament or in a village meeting?

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Cleric, Bride’s Father Disagree On Who Should Declare Marriage Has Taken Place by TemplarLandry: 12:20pm On Sep 15, 2023
cool
Re: Cleric, Bride’s Father Disagree On Who Should Declare Marriage Has Taken Place by superlanny(m): 12:30pm On Sep 15, 2023
This country and cruise sef, you agreed for your daughter to be wedded in a church and yet claim to be the one to declare them husband and wife.

Why he no carry them go shrine or better still proceed to confirm them in his living room, some people are just mentally unbalanced and that's not a suprise in this country.

33 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Cleric, Bride’s Father Disagree On Who Should Declare Marriage Has Taken Place by Iseoluwani: 12:31pm On Sep 15, 2023
grin

Actually after the traditional/ engagement, they are married.

church is just a formality

90 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Cleric, Bride’s Father Disagree On Who Should Declare Marriage Has Taken Place by inoki247: 12:31pm On Sep 15, 2023
Lol....


The Father and the Pastor no wan dey serious....



People wey don declare dem sef already...

5 Likes

Re: Cleric, Bride’s Father Disagree On Who Should Declare Marriage Has Taken Place by WhisperedNoise: 12:32pm On Sep 15, 2023
Wahala

Re: Cleric, Bride’s Father Disagree On Who Should Declare Marriage Has Taken Place by Blackestjunior(m): 12:32pm On Sep 15, 2023
Wahala be like wetin again?
Re: Cleric, Bride’s Father Disagree On Who Should Declare Marriage Has Taken Place by SoftP(m): 12:32pm On Sep 15, 2023
The brides father was perfectly right;

The Preacher over -stepped her boundaries; even in the bible; there’s nothing like white wedding’

The only wedding Jesus attended in bible; he never joined any couple; but rather his duty was to bring value to the marriage with merriment, hence he turned water to wine….


We’ve lost our culture & heritage to foreigners; the more reason why you see a pregnant woman being wedded on white apparel & tagged holy matrimony !


Not until we go back to the values of our culture; marriages with keep stagnating

53 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Cleric, Bride’s Father Disagree On Who Should Declare Marriage Has Taken Place by Jonasbadoo(m): 12:32pm On Sep 15, 2023
The both parties are right and wrong undecided

1 Like

Re: Cleric, Bride’s Father Disagree On Who Should Declare Marriage Has Taken Place by SIGE(m): 12:32pm On Sep 15, 2023
It's interesting how we sometimes overlook the sacred aspect of marriage, considering it as Holy Matrimony. There seems to be a trend where the sanctity is being questioned, and efforts are being made to secularize it, allowing almost anyone to officiate weddings. In the Western world, I've noticed instances where same-sex couples officiate weddings, and this concept is being promoted to us. In my view, a father's involvement in a wedding, particularly when making declarations, may not necessarily contribute to the sanctity of the occasion; it could be seen as more of a personal desire or ego-driven action.
Re: Cleric, Bride’s Father Disagree On Who Should Declare Marriage Has Taken Place by osuofia2(m): 12:32pm On Sep 15, 2023
Father of course

4 Likes

Re: Cleric, Bride’s Father Disagree On Who Should Declare Marriage Has Taken Place by tonykel1(m): 12:33pm On Sep 15, 2023
Marriage happens when a dowry is paid and received. Other things are cosmetics

67 Likes 1 Share

Re: Cleric, Bride’s Father Disagree On Who Should Declare Marriage Has Taken Place by sketcherJ(m): 12:33pm On Sep 15, 2023
I speak on behalf of all Nairalanders when I say a video will suffice!

1 Like

Re: Cleric, Bride’s Father Disagree On Who Should Declare Marriage Has Taken Place by MANNABBQGRILLS: 12:34pm On Sep 15, 2023
He told the apostle he had pronounced the couple as husband and wife during the traditional marriage rites, which took place a few days before the church wedding.

“No, you didn’t join them,” the apostle said to him. “I am the one to join them together, in the name of Jesus
Who says there is nothing new under the sun?
Make una let the new couple Marry Peacefully abegii.
Too much unnecessary dramas.

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Cleric, Bride’s Father Disagree On Who Should Declare Marriage Has Taken Place by OnyeFely: 12:35pm On Sep 15, 2023
I am never a believer of church wedding, the only marriage ceremony I believe is the TRADITIONAL, where the parents bless their children.

20 Likes

Re: Cleric, Bride’s Father Disagree On Who Should Declare Marriage Has Taken Place by Chuknovski(m): 12:35pm On Sep 15, 2023
grin grin the real wedding is paying bride price and getting parental consent

26 Likes 1 Share

Re: Cleric, Bride’s Father Disagree On Who Should Declare Marriage Has Taken Place by MANNABBQGRILLS: 12:36pm On Sep 15, 2023
OnyeFely:
I am never a believer of church wedding, the only marriage ceremony I believe is the TRADITIONAL, where the parents bless their children.
You are entitled to your opinion most definitely.
So are others who don't believe what you believe in.

6 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Cleric, Bride’s Father Disagree On Who Should Declare Marriage Has Taken Place by kingphilip(m): 12:36pm On Sep 15, 2023
Marriage for me takes place when the bride price is paid and the traditional rights have been carried out by the groom.

The bride's father was right.

35 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Cleric, Bride’s Father Disagree On Who Should Declare Marriage Has Taken Place by mytime24(f): 12:36pm On Sep 15, 2023
Nawa
Re: Cleric, Bride’s Father Disagree On Who Should Declare Marriage Has Taken Place by TriCee: 12:37pm On Sep 15, 2023
Make these people no go dey over do things.
Church wedding is called 'Blessing of marriage'. People marry traditionally and may still decide to go bless the marriage in the church.

With or without pastor, marriage will still take place. Some people even ended their marriage processes at the traditional level and they are married and happy.

10 Likes

Re: Cleric, Bride’s Father Disagree On Who Should Declare Marriage Has Taken Place by IgiveFreebies: 12:38pm On Sep 15, 2023
The father, even in the bible it's the father that gives out his daughter not the Priest. You as a cleric can declare and the father comes in and say no marriage

20 Likes 1 Share

Re: Cleric, Bride’s Father Disagree On Who Should Declare Marriage Has Taken Place by Donaldoni: 12:38pm On Sep 15, 2023
Re: Cleric, Bride’s Father Disagree On Who Should Declare Marriage Has Taken Place by dinkyicon: 12:39pm On Sep 15, 2023
dre11:
The action of the bride’s father raises a fundamental question of when a marriage could be said to have really taken place – is it when a priest makes a declaration or when the parents of the bride and the groom give their consent, during a traditional ceremony?
They have become husband and wife by reason of q traditional wedding. The church is only a ceremony to bless the marriage even according to Nigerian legal System recognises traditional wedding and having been conducted the couple are already married. The church wedding will further convert the traditional wedding to a Christian wedding that only encourages a monogamous marriage unlike the traditional wedding.



https://www.premiumtimesng.com/news/top-news/625633-cleric-brides-father-disagree-on-who-should-declare-marriage-has-taken-place.html
Re: Cleric, Bride’s Father Disagree On Who Should Declare Marriage Has Taken Place by talented321: 12:40pm On Sep 15, 2023
With my loud..
Nobody can declare anybody husband and wife, if the both of them are ready marriage don begin be that.. Stop all this nonsense in this country..
If u like bless them' if they will scatter na less..
If u like don't bless them' marriage wey go last will last..
I'd seen many where parents don't have choice than to reconcile withtheir daughters and sons after a huge disagreement..
All this things are mere formality and just sign of respect..

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Cleric, Bride’s Father Disagree On Who Should Declare Marriage Has Taken Place by boborosky(m): 12:40pm On Sep 15, 2023
Africans will do their wedding according to the African tradition and still do it the white man's way - total madness. Even the church certificate is not useful anywhere except it comes from the court, so why all the stress?

If we are wise, we would marry the African way and if need be, we ask a priest or pastor for marital prayer or blessings. Nothing more.

Parental blessings/prayers supersede any other.

16 Likes 1 Share

Re: Cleric, Bride’s Father Disagree On Who Should Declare Marriage Has Taken Place by Sageez(m): 12:40pm On Sep 15, 2023
To me, the white wedding is just a ceremony to fulfill all righteousness.
The moment the bride's family hands over their daughter to that man(after completing the traditional rights) the both become man and wife.

12 Likes

Re: Cleric, Bride’s Father Disagree On Who Should Declare Marriage Has Taken Place by sms4sure(m): 12:41pm On Sep 15, 2023
I pray the marriage last as confusion happened as early as this.

3 Likes

Re: Cleric, Bride’s Father Disagree On Who Should Declare Marriage Has Taken Place by ojun50(m): 12:41pm On Sep 15, 2023
I like the girl father

6 Likes

Re: Cleric, Bride’s Father Disagree On Who Should Declare Marriage Has Taken Place by Dancebreaker: 12:42pm On Sep 15, 2023
When both families have agreed that marriage has taken place, marriage is done.

That means when Bride Price is paid and accepted. O pari.

All our marriages before colonialism were done that way. Does it mean all our ancestors back then were not validly married?

13 Likes

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