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was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? - Family - Nairaland

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was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Ginaz(f): 4:18pm On Oct 20, 2023
I moved into a new neighbourhood and i stay alone. Luckily I came across my childhood friend one fateful day on my way to fill up my cooking gas.

we exchanged contact, I found out we live closed to each other. she now has 6kids with her husband, the eldest child being 13yrs old.

As formal friends and now neighbours I tried to assist her with whatever little I could as they're not doing so great in financially.

I noticed whenever I enter her house, she's somewhat uneasy as she would apologized for the messy state of her house, the dirty floor , the roughness of the building which i don't even care to notice as I am not judging her.

I reduced my entrance into her house due to the fact I didnt want her to feel bad about whatever she might be thinking of her house. it was making feel uncomfortable to hear such complains too.

I usually send her kids on errands, which I give them monetary compensations. I called her on phone one day to send her second daughter to me that I wanna send her on an errand, she replied yes she would but I didn't see the daughter.

I was cooking rice, the kids came. I dished for them and I asked the daughter why she refused to come see me the day I sent for her. she told me it was her mother who told her not to come.

I was shocked ! if her mother didn't want me to send her on a errand she could have told me. I felt like I was disturbing her kids so I blocked her number and stop sending the kids message to run for me.

now she has been calling me but I've refused to answer her calls. am I wrong in wanting to end the friendship?

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Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Taylor94: 4:23pm On Oct 20, 2023
angry
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Kobojunkie: 4:23pm On Oct 20, 2023
Ginaz:
■ I moved into a new neighbourhood and i stay alone. Luckily I came across my childhood friend one fateful day on my way to fill up my cooking gas. we exchanged contact, I found out we live closed to each other. she now has 6kids with her husband, the eldest child being 13yrs old. As formal friends and now neighbours I tried to assist her with whatever little I could as they're not doing so great in financially. I noticed whenever I enter her house, she's somewhat uneasy as she would apologized for the messy state of her house, the dirty floor , the roughness of the building which i don't even care to notice as I am not judging her. I reduced my entrance into her house due to the fact I didnt want her to feel bad about whatever she might be thinking of her house. it was making feel uncomfortable to hear such complains too.
■ I usually send her kids on errands, which I give them monetary compensations. I called her on phone one day to send her second daughter to me that I wanna send her on an errand, she replied yes she would but I didn't see the daughter. I was cooking rice, the kids came. I dished for them and I asked the daughter why she refused to come see me the day I sent for her. she told me it was her mother who told her not to come. I was shocked ! if her mother didn't want me to send her on a errand she could have told me. I felt like I was disturbing her kids so I blocked her number and stop sending the kids message to run for me. now she has been calling me but I've refused to answer her calls. am I wrong in wanting to end the friendship?
1. The first is a miss on your part. You for sit her down, look her in the eye, and tell her pop and plain that you do not mind the mess at all, and so she should stop complaining about it. undecided

2. I take offense with you sending her kids on errands. Sending them with a message to their own mother, maybe, but sending them on your own personal errands, no. undecided

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Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Ginaz(f): 4:24pm On Oct 20, 2023
I felt bad that she would asked her daughter not to come run errand for me. this is someone who I have been very good and supportive to since I moved here. I don't want to talk about all I've done cos it's between me and God.

the phone she's using i gave her as her own phone got spoilt.

If she could tell her child not to come to me, I'm just wondering the rest things she might be saying behind me.

could her child be lying against her mother ?

this world is wicked though. becareful of those you call friends , they may not have the same good intentions for you.

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Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Ginaz(f): 4:28pm On Oct 20, 2023
Kobojunkie:
1. The first is a miss on your part. You for sit her down, look her in the eye, and tell her pop and plain that you do not mind the mess at all, and so she should stop complaining about it. undecided

2. I take offense to you sending her kids on errands. Sending them with a message to their own mother, maybe, but sending them on your own personal errands, no. undecided

which errands am I sending them apart from getting me tomatoes or milk or fish within the street as the distance is just 2minutes away.

they come to my house by themselves and sometimes I'd drive them away before they would leave. I never let them go home hungry , whatever I eat, they eat too.

I don't send them to go to the market for me or use as slaves.

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Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by yoniehuin(f): 4:30pm On Oct 20, 2023
They are not your kids, why do you think you are entitled to send someone's kid on errand just because you are friends with the mother or because you feed them

The mother was right, her kids are not your errand children

If you had a kid and people send them on errand as they feel like, will you be happy.

Dont you think if any thing happen to those kids on errands, do you think the mum will be happy with you, she will blame you forever

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Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Kobojunkie: 4:32pm On Oct 20, 2023
Ginaz:
which errands am I sending them apart from getting me tomatoes or milk or fish within the street as the distance is just 2minutes away. they come to my house by themselves and sometimes I'd drive them away before they would leave. I never let them go home hungry , whatever I eat, they eat too. I don't send them to go to the market for me or use as slaves.
1. It is OK that they come to your house by themselves but sending them on errands outside of your house that they came to? No! undecided

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Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by talented321: 4:32pm On Oct 20, 2023
What if the child is lying, madam life deep, okay.
You don't just cut off from people like that, just make ur findings more clear about their interest toward u..

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Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Ginaz(f): 4:37pm On Oct 20, 2023
yoniehuin:
They are not your kids, why do you think you are entitled to send someone's kid on errand just because you are friends with the mother.

The mother was right, her kids are not your errand children

If you had a kid and people send them on errand as they feel like, will you be happy.

Dont you think if any thing happen to those kids on errands, do you think the mum will be happy with you, she will blame you forever

why did she not tell me she doesn't want her kids to run errands for me? And besides , the same kids come to my house everyday , eat my food and all. Have I ever complained the way they come to my house and scatter my things?
do you know the inconvenience i go through when 5 of them come to my house? I cook and make sure they're ok.

what's little errand they can't help me go? and I give them the change left. so who is stressing more between me and the children ?

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Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Lance008(m): 4:40pm On Oct 20, 2023
Me don end one childhood friendship today to be honest
I send person money mak help me buy something he carry am

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Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Ginaz(f): 4:41pm On Oct 20, 2023
Kobojunkie:
1. It is OK that they come to your house by themselves but sending them on errands outside of your house that they came to? No! undecided

sending them message is wrong but they can eat my food, request for things which I provide, scatter my house and spoil my things. little message to buy me fried fish or fresh tomatoes now at front of the street is a crime.

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Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by izonborn098(m): 4:41pm On Oct 20, 2023
Saying you want to end ur relationship with ur friend because of what a child said'' is an intitle mentality..
There are better ways to solve this issue and you know's it..
Ginaz:


which errands am I sending them apart from getting me tomatoes or milk or fish within the street as the distance is just 2minutes away.

they come to my house by themselves and sometimes I'd drive them away before they would leave. I never let them go home hungry , whatever I eat, they eat too.

I don't send them to go to the market for me or use as slaves.

14 Likes 1 Share

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by olatuneji: 4:43pm On Oct 20, 2023
It's wrong.
It's not okay, no matter what you have done for them, if it were me, I won't be happy with you.
If it's once in a blue moon it's still OK but constantly sending them on an errand mehn! Me can't take it.

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Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Ginaz(f): 4:47pm On Oct 20, 2023
talented321:
What if the child is lying, madam life deep, okay.
You don't just cut off from people like that, just make ur findings more clear about their interest toward u..

what will the child gain from lying against her mother ? this friendship is one sided.

abeg I dey my own. I'm even happy the child told me her mother refused her to come to me. she should not send her children to me to make any monetary request. I don't want to hear anything

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Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Ginaz(f): 4:49pm On Oct 20, 2023
olatuneji:
It's wrong.
It's not okay, no matter what you have done for then, if it were me, I won't be happy with you.
If it's once in a blue moon it's still OK but constantly sending them on an errand mehn! Me can't take it.

it's not everyday o. well, I've heard. Let the mother not send the same children to me to ask me for anything .

17 Likes

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by ahnie: 4:49pm On Oct 20, 2023
Ginaz she simply doesn't like you sending her kids on errands.so I'll suggest you cut them off!
Ginaz:


which errands am I sending them apart from getting me tomatoes or milk or fish within the street as the distance is just 2minutes away.

they come to my house by themselves and sometimes I'd drive them away before they would leave. I never let them go home hungry , whatever I eat, they eat too.

I don't send them to go to the market for me or use as slaves.
Kindly keep your distance.i would also suggest you buy your foodstuffs in bulk if need be.

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Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by wunmi590(m): 4:50pm On Oct 20, 2023
Ginaz:
I felt bad that she would asked her daughter not to come run errand for me. this is someone who I have been very good and supportive to since I moved here. I don't want to talk about all I've done cos it's between me and God.

the phone she's using i gave her as her own phone got spoilt.

If she could tell her child not to come to me, I'm just wondering the rest things she might be saying behind me.

could her child be lying against her mother ?

this world is wicked though. becareful of those you call friends , they may not have the same good intentions for you.

What if her daughter is lieing? Just to cover for her own lie for not coming to your place, because tye daughter knows you might not ask her mother...

You know these kids these days over do things just to implicate their parent...

If truly her mother said so, I'm sure the children wouldn't have been to your place again to eat...

Just don't take what thr girl said, continue doing what you feel you can...


Next time, call her again and pretend you want to send her daughter and see her reaction, and you might even tell her if sending her is not fine, she shouldn't worry and see her next response....

17 Likes

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by olatuneji: 4:52pm On Oct 20, 2023
Ginaz:


it's not everyday o. well, I've heard. Let the mother not send the same children to me to ask me for anything .
Better, let everyone dey him side.

7 Likes

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Ginaz(f): 4:57pm On Oct 20, 2023
ahnie:
Ginaz she simply doesn't like you sending her kids on errands.so I'll suggest you cut them off!
Kindly keep your distance.i would also suggest you buy your foodstuffs in bulk if need be.

I've kept my distance o. do you know this same daughter i wanted to send message has never eaten fried egg with bread and tea? I personally prepared breakfast for her and we ate together with her own fried eggs. I didnt share it so she would experience how delicious the meal was.

Infact the thing pain me cos God knows all my heart's intention is good. wenti be message wey you come dey provoke for me?

me that enters my kitchen to prepare food for your children to eat, I even give you join. I don't have sense abi ? or I'm a mugu right?

40 Likes 1 Share

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Kobojunkie: 4:59pm On Oct 20, 2023
Ginaz:
■ sending them message is wrong
■ ...but they can eat my food, request for things which I provide, scatter my house and spoil my things.
■ little message to buy me fried fish or fresh tomatoes now at front of the street is a crime.
1. I am very much against it is what. undecided

2. If you don't like the kids in your place then why allow them in? undecided

3. You should not do that at all. I think you are being overly sensitive here about this by the way. undecided

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Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Stevenbright(m): 5:00pm On Oct 20, 2023
Ginaz:
I moved into a new neighbourhood and i stay alone. Luckily I came across my childhood friend one fateful day on my way to fill up my cooking gas.

we exchanged contact, I found out we live closed to each other. she now has 6kids with her husband, the eldest child being 13yrs old.

As formal friends and now neighbours I tried to assist her with whatever little I could as they're not doing so great in financially.

I noticed whenever I enter her house, she's somewhat uneasy as she would apologized for the messy state of her house, the dirty floor , the roughness of the building which i don't even care to notice as I am not judging her.

I reduced my entrance into her house due to the fact I didnt want her to feel bad about whatever she might be thinking of her house. it was making feel uncomfortable to hear such complains too.

I usually send her kids on errands, which I give them monetary compensations. I called her on phone one day to send her second daughter to me that I wanna send her on an errand, she replied yes she would but I didn't see the daughter.

I was cooking rice, the kids came. I dished for them and I asked the daughter why she refused to come see me the day I sent for her. she told me it was her mother who told her not to come.

I was shocked ! if her mother didn't want me to send her on a errand she could have told me. I felt like I was disturbing her kids so I blocked her number and stop sending the kids message to run for me.

now she has been calling me but I've refused to answer her calls. am I wrong in wanting to end the friendship?

Get the picture right! Two things are likely involved here.

1. She is not too comfortable with you in her place because she felt it is not good enough, reason why she kept saying those things. You could have told her you understand how things are not really easy right now and that as for her house, you understand that children can be so playful and in the process scattering things but don't use the word "messy" like you did here. This will help her relaxed, free her mind and hence making her comfortable having you around.

2. As for the daughter not coming to you when you requested, if truely she is the one who stopped her, then she is feeling as though it is because you are being of help to them, that is why you want to start using her children the way you seem fit. But then, she should have understand the fact, that is how life works. As the saying goes, iron sharpens iron...

Just go low. Helping some people resents them because it reminds them that they are needy and that the other person is better than them.

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Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Ginaz(f): 5:01pm On Oct 20, 2023
wunmi590:


What if her daughter is lieing? Just to cover for her own lie for not coming to your place, because tye daughter knows you might not ask her mother...

You know these kids these days over do things just to implicate their parent...

If truly her mother said so, I'm sure the children wouldn't have been to your place again to eat...

Just don't take what thr girl said, continue doing what you feel you can...


Next time, call her again and pretend you want to send her daughter and see her reaction, and you might even tell her if sending her is not fine, she shouldn't worry and see her next response....

the other small child confirmed that the mother said it. she has been calling me due to her conscience biting her but i won't pick her calls.

I'm not a fool. I wish you good with all my heart but you want to use your children to do wicked against me in your heart.

14 Likes

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by jackmrandy: 5:06pm On Oct 20, 2023
Ginaz:
I felt bad that she would asked her daughter not to come run errand for me. this is someone who I have been very good and supportive to since I moved here. I don't want to talk about all I've done cos it's between me and God.

the phone she's using i gave her as her own phone got spoilt.

If she could tell her child not to come to me, I'm just wondering the rest things she might be saying behind me.

could her child be lying against her mother ?

this world is wicked though. becareful of those you call friends , they may not have the same good intentions for you.



i jjust checked your gender, and its reason for this your post. so many things runnning through your mind. only thing i will tell you, is not every mother want their children to be running erand for the compound/street people. so take that as part of life training. you are a woman and should understand better

21 Likes

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by wunmi590(m): 5:06pm On Oct 20, 2023
Ginaz:


the other small child confirmed that the mother said it. she has been calling me due to her conscience biting her but i won't pick her calls.

I'm not a fool. I wish you good with all my heart but you want to use your children to do wicked against me in your heart.

May be she feel the way you have been sending her children on errand is getting too much, but she's doesn't know how to tell you, she decided to do that through the kids, but she guffed...

Just let it slide, that shouldn't stop you from helping the children if they need your assistance, at least the kids likes you and are kind enough to tell uou what their mother said....

Let love lead

12 Likes

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by talented321: 5:07pm On Oct 20, 2023
That will be better
Ginaz:


what will the child gain from lying against her mother ? this friendship is one sided.

abeg I dey my own. I'm even happy the child told me her mother refused her to come to me. she should not send her children to me to make any monetary request. I don't want to hear anything

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Ginaz(f): 5:10pm On Oct 20, 2023
Stevenbright:


Get the picture right! Two things are likely involved here.

1. She is not too comfortable with you in her place because she felt it is not good enough, reason why she kept saying those things. You could have told her you understand how things are not really easy right now and that as for her house, you understand that children can be so playful and in the process scattering things but don't use the word "messy" like you did here. This will help her relaxed, free her mind and hence making her comfortable having you around.

2. As for the daughter not coming to you when you requested, if truely she is the one who stopped her, then she is feeling as though it is because you are being of help to them, that is why you want to start using her children the way you seem fit. But then, she should have understand the fact, that is how life works. As the saying goes, iron sharpens iron...

Just go low. Helping some people resents them because it reminds them that they are needy and that the other person is better than them.

but if she needs something from me she sends same children to come to me right? I don't want to go into great details what I did for them and plans i intend to do for them. they don't have chairs in their house, they use bench. I have 4 sitter leather chairs , I was thinking of giving her one the same day the daughter told me what her mother said.

There was other things that happened. I had a quarrel with someone it got heated and drew crowds. this my so called friend came and was begging my opponent to be calmed while she totally ignored me. it was when I called her on phone she then pacified me.

I went to see her one day and she told me she went to beg the woman the next morning. I was like what ? did I ask you to do that? while she never visited me to discussed the issue or hear my side of story till date.

I'm feeling weird that she doesn't take me as a friend as I take her to be.

17 Likes

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Kobojunkie: 5:11pm On Oct 20, 2023
Ginaz:
■ the other small child confirmed that the mother said it. she has been calling me due to her conscience biting her but i won't pick her calls. I'm not a fool. I wish you good with all my heart but you want to use your children to do wicked against me in your heart.
Look, those children are not your ward and so you don't actually have the legal right to send them to do anything outside of your home to do anything for you without explicit permission from their mother each time. So, you fuming that because in your mind you do so much and so should be able to send them on errands only reveals your intentions may not have been as real as you originally made it seem in your OP. undecided

Try to put yourself in your friend's shoes for a bit. Would you be happy having other people send your children on errands you are not aware of or given approval for? undecided

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Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Kobojunkie: 5:15pm On Oct 20, 2023
Ginaz:
but if she needs something from me she sends same children to come to me right? I don't want to go into great details what I did for them and plans i intend to do for them.
they don't have chairs in their house, they use bench. I have 4 sitter leather chairs , I was thinking of giving her one the same day the daughter told me what her mother said.
■ There was other things that happened. I had a quarrel with someone it got heated and drew crowds. this my so called friend came and was begging my opponent to be calmed while she totally ignored me. it was when I called her on phone she then pacified me.
■ I went to see her one day and she told me she went to beg the woman the next morning. I was like what ? did I ask you to do that? while she never visited me to discussed the issue or hear my side of story till date.
■ I'm feeling weird that she doesn't take me as a friend as I take her to be
.
1. They are her children and she has right to send them anywhere she wishes; you do not. undecided

2. OH wow!! how loving of you, not! undecided

3. She begged your opponent ON YOUR BEHALF and that was a problem for you too? shocked shocked shocked

4. Tor! lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed

5. Some people like too much drama for this life!

13 Likes

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by ahnie: 5:17pm On Oct 20, 2023
Just learn to mind your lane and keep them at arms length,nor be everybody dem dey do good for.
Ginaz:


I've kept my distance o. do you know this same daughter i wanted to send message has never eaten fried egg with bread and tea? I personally prepared breakfast for her and we ate together with her own fried eggs. I didnt share it so she would experience how delicious the meal was.

Infact the thing pain me cos God knows all my heart's intention is good. wenti be message wey you come dey provoke for me?

me that enters my kitchen to prepare food for your children to eat, I even give you join. I don't have sense abi ? or I'm a mugu right?

The truth's she's not comfy with you around her and judging by her situation.
It's Gon hurt you for few days,trust me you Gon be fyne dear.

5 Likes

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Ginaz(f): 5:17pm On Oct 20, 2023
Kobojunkie:
Look, those children are not your ward and so you don't actually have the legal right to send them to do anything outside of your home to do anything for you without explicit permission from their mother. So, you fuming that because in your mind you do so much and so should be able to send them on errands only reveals your intentions may not have been as real as you originally made it seem in your OP. undecided

Try to put yourself in your friend's shoes for a bit. Would you be happy having other people send your children on errands you are not aware of or given approval for? undecided

but I should run errands for them abi? who eats the food i sent them ingredients to buy? ordinary to buy tomatoes and fish to cook food they will end up eating is now a crime abi??

If they help wash plates they used in eating or sweep house is such a big crime right? on top me that entered kitchen to cook for them. I swear the mother can't do such for my kids the way I treat hers with care.

abeg get out my front ... I don't have your time.

23 Likes

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Offpointng: 5:19pm On Oct 20, 2023
Ginaz:
I felt bad that she would asked her daughter not to come run errand for me. this is someone who I have been very good and supportive to since I moved here. I don't want to talk about all I've done cos it's between me and God.

the phone she's using i gave her as her own phone got spoilt.

If she could tell her child not to come to me, I'm just wondering the rest things she might be saying behind me.

could her child be lying against her mother ?

this world is wicked though. becareful of those you call friends , they may not have the same good intentions for you.

I did this and that for her, Oga shut up.

If na ur children dem dey send anyhow like that, u go like am? You feel entitled to it cuz you gift them things??

You're Rude and she should even be the one to cut you off

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Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Ginaz(f): 5:21pm On Oct 20, 2023
Kobojunkie:
1. They are her children and she has right to send them anywhere she wishes; you do not. undecided

2. OH wow!! how loving of you, not! undecided

3. She begged your opponent ON YOUR BEHALF and that was a problem for you too? shocked shocked shocked

4. Tor! lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed

5. Some people like too much drama for this life!

which friend goes to beg on behalf of their friends without hearing from the friend ? without showing concern too for the same friend ? who ignores a friend while gives attention to the person making trouble to her friend?

and you want me to believe she's genuine for me right? kobokunkie move on abeg.. your reasoning dey vex me

8 Likes

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