How Can I Tell If My Husband Is Married In Nigeria Or Was Married Before? - Romance - Nairaland
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| How Can I Tell If My Husband Is Married In Nigeria Or Was Married Before? by MissLovely: 6:46pm On Oct 29, 2011 |
I'm a black american and I live in the USA and my husband is in Nigeria. We got married shortly after we meet. I flew to nigeria for a couple weeks and we got married during that time. I love him with everything and I know he loves me. But I am having doubts about everything now. We have been having sooo many arguments lately. Not sure if its due to the distance or just our differences. But to make a long story short I have been considering a divorce or annulment. What ever, I just dont know if I can deal with him here in America. But I was looking at some of his old facebook photos and noticed he had a ring on his left ring finger in pics taken in 2009. That was way before we met. Can he have commited bigamy? |
| Re: How Can I Tell If My Husband Is Married In Nigeria Or Was Married Before? by Afam4eva(m): 6:49pm On Oct 29, 2011 |
Hmm, i'll be back. |
| Re: How Can I Tell If My Husband Is Married In Nigeria Or Was Married Before? by Nobody: 6:56pm On Oct 29, 2011 |
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| Re: How Can I Tell If My Husband Is Married In Nigeria Or Was Married Before? by Scooby1(m): 7:11pm On Oct 29, 2011 |
MissLovely: considering divorce already  hmm difficult one there, try asking him / his relative it aint gonna be easy, you need to be patience. Since the arguments have started. But poster why rush into marriage so quickly? |
| Re: How Can I Tell If My Husband Is Married In Nigeria Or Was Married Before? by freecocoa(f): 7:29pm On Oct 29, 2011 |
Op I wouldn't advice you hold on to that thought just cos of a ring on his fonger. Rings are often worn as an accessory by many people thereby making it hard to determine whether he's been married before or not.why not try to work it out with him by talking(more effective if done face to face).I guess you rushed into the marriage without getting to know all you needed to. You could also hire a private investigator,if you feel strongly about his marriage status in nigeria. |
| Re: How Can I Tell If My Husband Is Married In Nigeria Or Was Married Before? by MissLovely: 7:30pm On Oct 29, 2011 |
It seemed like the right thing to do at the time. I really do love him but not sure if we are right for each other. Wish we could have spent more time getting to know each other. |
| Re: How Can I Tell If My Husband Is Married In Nigeria Or Was Married Before? by MrsChima1(f): 7:54pm On Oct 29, 2011 |
Are you divorcing him because of the arguments or Facebook photos? |
| Re: How Can I Tell If My Husband Is Married In Nigeria Or Was Married Before? by mikkyangel(m): 7:55pm On Oct 29, 2011 |
"U |
| Re: How Can I Tell If My Husband Is Married In Nigeria Or Was Married Before? by lailaiwala: 8:01pm On Oct 29, 2011 |
op, its all in your head. let him come to america, then you'll get to know him better. are you seeing someone else? sounds like you're hiding something. do you have other baby daddies. you are being VERY SELF-DESTRUCTIVE. a man is willing to marry you while your own men aren't, and you're acting crazy. SMH. |
| Re: How Can I Tell If My Husband Is Married In Nigeria Or Was Married Before? by claremont(m): 8:17pm On Oct 29, 2011 |
MissLovely: Though I consider this story to be one of the numerous "MOD-inspired" stories meant to boost discussion in this boring forum, I would nevertheless posit for the sake of argument. In Nigeria, bigamy can only be committed by a person who has formerly been married via the marriage registry. If your "husband" was initially married via traditional methods alone, then he is free to marry as many wives as he can manage. Polygamy is a widespread practise in Nigeria, your husband is not guilty of any offence. If you do choose to divorce him on the basis of pictures discovered on Facebook, that is your own cup of tea. You are free to join the ever growing league of "Ms" i.e. Miserable spinsters! |
| Re: How Can I Tell If My Husband Is Married In Nigeria Or Was Married Before? by Amya(f): 8:24pm On Oct 29, 2011 |
@op you should probably try to work things out with him. Whatever the arguments, you guys should probably try to sort out. As someone pointed out, the ring wearing could probably just be a fashion statement and many people do that. Nigerian men are taught to be domineering from childhood and the girls are taught to overlook their excesses and be humble. Try working on yourself if you really love him as you say you do. Women her have learnt to run their homes but still make the man feel he's the king of their lives. |
| Re: How Can I Tell If My Husband Is Married In Nigeria Or Was Married Before? by MissLovely: 8:32pm On Oct 29, 2011 |
Let me clear the record. He initiated everything with me when we first met. If he wanted a nigerian wife he would have gotten one. I am an attractive young woman and could have married anyone that I choose. But I married him. We had alot of mutual intrest and got along good. He has never been to america. I went to nigeria to visit him, and during that visit we got married. Our arguments have been frequent and about life issues. We try to work it out but it just keeps starting back at square one. He doesnt understand things here in america and I guess I dont understand where he is coming from. I need him to be more understanding and not getting a temper with me so quick. I cant talk to him about anything without him getting defensive. I really dont want a divorce but why should either of us stay in a miserable relationship? And again, it was not my idea to get married so quickly. He kind of talked me into thinking it was ok. I just wanted to know if our marriage was actually legal. We dont tolerate polygamy here. So if he was already married, our marriage wont be legal here. Thats all I wanted to know. I'm not bashing him or other Nigerian men. He is a good man, I just dont think for me. Every man is completly different no matter where you are from. And no, I am not seeing anyone else. |
| Re: How Can I Tell If My Husband Is Married In Nigeria Or Was Married Before? by MissLovely: 8:36pm On Oct 29, 2011 |
I understand that Amya but I am not a Nigerian women. I was raised with different beliefs as well. Men and women are equal. Women do the exact same thing a man does. I work a good job, pay all my bills by myself. If women can do the exact same thing a man does, why should we still have to be looked at as second hand. I have never been in a relationship when I cant commnicate or express my feelings without being cautious not to start an argument because of what is going on in my life. I listen to him all the time, but when I have an issue, he doesnt wanna listen and just shuts me out. Its just tiring to me. I just dont know what else to do. |
| Re: How Can I Tell If My Husband Is Married In Nigeria Or Was Married Before? by Amya(f): 9:04pm On Oct 29, 2011 |
It's really important to really spend time with a person before starting a relationship. I'm sure if you'ld seen this side to him, you won't be have been quick to marry him. But that's beside the point now as you two are already married. Only you know where the shoe pinches, so it's really only you that know if there's still hope in the realationship or not. If walking is the only reasonable solution right now, then by all means, walk. |
| Re: How Can I Tell If My Husband Is Married In Nigeria Or Was Married Before? by Nobody: 9:10pm On Oct 29, 2011 |
MissLovely:  @ poster, First you say that you made a CHOICE to marry him, and then on the other hand,try to point the finger at him that it was his idea. My dear,its best to get to know a man and his culture Before you make a commitment to marry. I hope you can work this out.Good luck. |
| Re: How Can I Tell If My Husband Is Married In Nigeria Or Was Married Before? by Beync(f): 9:32pm On Oct 29, 2011 |
From what you said, you married him when you came to visit him in Nigeria possibly both of you were fascinated by love that you could'nt hold but decided to be in union. Well, it happens sometimes it work out for some involved while it does'nt for others especially in this case where your man hav not been to your state and might not be well and fully intergrated into the lives of people outside his cultural and social background. If i may ask, where did you get married to him? did you do township wedding? where the man or woman may not know where his/her partner helds from but go into marriage. did he take you to his his home? did you meet his parents and relatives? because if you did meet them it wont be hard for you to find out from any of them you are in terms with whether you husband is for real or not. However, being defensive instead of calming, clarifying or amicably settlings issues when arguement arise is a bad signal, dont live in obscure, try and talk to him and other usefull persons you can reach. it's not easy what you may be passing through but dont rush to divorce till you are fully convince of what is on ground. |
| Re: How Can I Tell If My Husband Is Married In Nigeria Or Was Married Before? by MrsChima1(f): 9:39pm On Oct 29, 2011 |
Amya: Nice and to the point. Unfortunately she won't be the last person. |
| Re: How Can I Tell If My Husband Is Married In Nigeria Or Was Married Before? by otokx(m): 3:22am On Oct 30, 2011 |
what is the point marrying and then staying apart? smh |
| Re: How Can I Tell If My Husband Is Married In Nigeria Or Was Married Before? by toyemz(f): 5:08am On Oct 30, 2011 |
@poster it really is hard to detect what goes on in the minds of many Nigerian men, but many times it's easier to read between the lines you feel in love with the guy and you married him im confused as to where and how you met him? if it is through friends,find out more information about him from them if it is on a dating website,find out is he still on it? and why? unfortunately as distasteful as it sounds, you will have to do a lot of snooping to get answers,since you don't live together As for the frequent arguments,why keep having them since you know that it only end at square one? For peace sake,let him believe what he wants to believe as like you said he hasn't travelled out before and yes if he is still on the dating site open another profile and pretend to be some one else,dangle the bait and he will surely fall if he has an agenda easiest way to get all your doubts and questions answered. Good luck |
| Re: How Can I Tell If My Husband Is Married In Nigeria Or Was Married Before? by bebe2(f): 11:54pm On Oct 30, 2011 |
just my 2cents, becareful situations like these can make a man very manipulative. i guess he is planning to come and live with u in America. snoop, snoop, snoop, u will hardly get the truth from him. Nigerian men are not easy to marry. Good luck!!! |
| Re: How Can I Tell If My Husband Is Married In Nigeria Or Was Married Before? by kpolli(m): 4:25pm On Oct 31, 2011 |
yawa don gas. . . . maga don catch omo boy |
| Re: How Can I Tell If My Husband Is Married In Nigeria Or Was Married Before? by claremont(m): 6:36pm On Oct 31, 2011 |
bebe2:Oh Really?! |
| Re: How Can I Tell If My Husband Is Married In Nigeria Or Was Married Before? by enoqueen: 1:36pm On Dec 12, 2014 |
HE IS MARRIED. 100% SURE. 1 Like |
| Re: How Can I Tell If My Husband Is Married In Nigeria Or Was Married Before? by rittyben(f): 4:41pm On Dec 12, 2014 |
They guy no expect to still dey Nigeria now o. That's why he is that way |
| Re: How Can I Tell If My Husband Is Married In Nigeria Or Was Married Before? by ElFenomeno1: 4:47pm On Dec 12, 2014 |
MissLovely:  |
| Re: How Can I Tell If My Husband Is Married In Nigeria Or Was Married Before? by work33: 8:10pm On Dec 12, 2014 |
Hello, If you do not know ghost things such as where is your husband and what he has been doing in Past I would suggest you getting in touch with some one here http://liveperson.7eer.net/c/83471/44011/847 , who has spiritual power and can disclose you every thing, This is something I have done and got satisfaction. |
| Re: How Can I Tell If My Husband Is Married In Nigeria Or Was Married Before? by Wallade(m): 8:56pm On Dec 12, 2014 |
In my opinion, he was married or he is probably still married. You have just been punked or decieved. Walk away before it is too late |
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