Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,147,276 members, 7,796,650 topics. Date: Sunday, 14 April 2024 at 03:18 AM

When A Deadbeat Dad Gets Old And Weary. - Family (6) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / When A Deadbeat Dad Gets Old And Weary. (30856 Views)

Boy's Converstaion With His 'Deadbeat' Dad About Christmas Gift Sparks Debate / Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) / 'My Dad Is A Deadbeat' Top Worn By Daughter On Father's Day (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: When A Deadbeat Dad Gets Old And Weary. by tete7000(m): 7:23am On Dec 08, 2023
FreeIgboho:


You keep talking about choices and choosing. Let’s really take a close look. When did you choose any of the things that determine your choices? Did you choose where you were born, the type of parents you had, the environment you grew up in, the type of consciousness and brain you were born with, etc. You chose non of those, yet those are what determine what choices you’d make.
Maybe you should stop worshipping choices and choosing so much!

To disagree with my opinion is also a choice you made. It doesn't matter that you didn't choose to be born, what matters is that after you were born you choices will shape how your life turns out. That you disagree with that truth doesn't stop it from being true.

And the truth actually is even that in as much as you might think you didn't choose to be born, a real analysis of your coming to being might say otherwise. Out of over a million sperms, yours struggled to be ahead of others to fertilise that egg that resulted in your existence. Think about it, you always make choice, even inadvertently.
Re: When A Deadbeat Dad Gets Old And Weary. by tete7000(m): 7:26am On Dec 08, 2023
FreeIgboho:


What right choice did Joseph make? How did he choose to be sold by his brothers??

I am not here to argue with you, I already answered that you are free to choose to disagree, its your choice to make, its equally my choice to not answer you going forward.

1 Like

Re: When A Deadbeat Dad Gets Old And Weary. by Didi2d(m): 7:30am On Dec 08, 2023
Kobojunkie:
.Was she not that way before you married her? undecided

Did you at least ask your wife her reason for not responding to your messages before you decided to flare up? If you are done with the marriage it is ok to get a legal divorce from your wife. Abandonment is what is a crime. Divorce isn't. undecided

Lots of people ask me this same question, the truth is she was like that. But love and foolishness made me continue.
Re: When A Deadbeat Dad Gets Old And Weary. by ORIAYO70(m): 7:31am On Dec 08, 2023
Kobojunkie:
Did your father up and abandon you all? Did your father abandon your baby's siblings and pregnant mother? Why would you even conclude that your story is anywhere close to OP's case? undecided

Your father failed as a parent yet you chose to let it slide. That is all you ... not God or anyone else but YOU. You are not better than those who chose to let him eat the cake that he made for himself. So, stop pretending you are. And stop using the mention of the name of God to perpetrate foolishness. undecided


You called forgiveness foolishness, and yet paraded yourself in church n mosque, the indelible pain this situation could cause can not be underestimated yet u r not greater than God that let u succeed, what if she is still roaming the street, would she have looked for avenue for vegeance...if u DNT see any sense there...kindly ignore. I rest my case..
Re: When A Deadbeat Dad Gets Old And Weary. by Idaytesj29(m): 7:38am On Dec 08, 2023
LadyRosa2:


Few eat their cake and have it.
But so many eventually regrets especially at old age.

The story is bitter sweet. Bitter for all the hurts and suffering, sweet because they ended so well and i am happy for them.
Now, i want to add a new perspective to our discussion, but i am afraid only men will understand. The thing is men should be more responsible, and when a woman get the chance to hook a man that already has a family, women should stop preventing them from caring for their first wife and children. You know a man is with family and you decided to hook him, and still want to have him like he is a full single man without a prior spouse or children. This is what women who entered a home as second wife do. It has to stop. A friends step mom was claiming she has no iyale, first wife in Yoruba. In the story you narrated, having taking over the man totally and prevented a proper cohesion of the first wife family unit with their father she still left the man when the life was difficult.
If you marry a married man, let them take care of their first family, stop the juju, nagging, calling first wife witch(if she be witch you no go fit snatch her huby so rest) and stop preventing them from caring for their loved one.

Las las, Na women still dey do women!
Just some of the thoughts that came to mind.

3 Likes 2 Shares

Re: When A Deadbeat Dad Gets Old And Weary. by FireUpNow(m): 7:49am On Dec 08, 2023
Ok na
Re: When A Deadbeat Dad Gets Old And Weary. by Goalnaldo(m): 8:22am On Dec 08, 2023
Might be a deadbeat father to Sarah and her siblings but also the best dad to the children of the other wives. This life grin
Re: When A Deadbeat Dad Gets Old And Weary. by Golddy(f): 3:05pm On Dec 08, 2023
I feel,the younger ones were not matured enough to know how it felt and all, hence the reason they put it behind them easily... Unlike the older ones who still feel the pain till date

1 Like

Re: When A Deadbeat Dad Gets Old And Weary. by Haakeem(m): 3:30pm On Dec 08, 2023
erniok:

Dey calm down dey digest issue. Your blood too hot. I was referring to the guy you quoted but you had to attack me. No vex, na me chuk mouth for wetin no concern me.
I been get anger issue, maybe that why I no see clearly, no vex😅

1 Like

Re: When A Deadbeat Dad Gets Old And Weary. by Kobojunkie: 3:39pm On Dec 08, 2023
ORIAYO70:
You called forgiveness foolishness, and yet paraded yourself in church n mosque, the indelible pain this situation could cause can not be underestimated yet u r not greater than God that let u succeed, what if she is still roaming the street, would she have looked for avenue for vegeance...if u DNT see any sense there...kindly ignore. I rest my case..
You people are so annoying with your many desperate attempts to drag God's menton down into the mud with you lot in ignorance. undecided

What you practice is not forgiveness but foolishness masquerading as forgiveness. The God of Israel kind of forgiveness DOES NOT spare one of the repercussions of one's sins. Additionally, God of Israel only forgives the sins of those who are already righteous; the unrighteous He condemns. So, stop throwing God under the bus in your ignorance. undecided

1 Like

Re: When A Deadbeat Dad Gets Old And Weary. by FuckYeyeMods: 2:09am On Dec 09, 2023
Kobojunkie:
Stop lying! undecided

The same story tells you of the Old man who abandoned her. He is married yet he seems rather lonely in it all. Why? Marriage Does Not Give You Company . There are so many more folks out there stuck in marriage who are lonely and miserable in it.

When you selectively choose to remain blind to the reality of things, you lose the ability to reason properly. No sane counselor would ever suggest marriage as a solution for loneliness. Maybe your pastors, many of whom are miserable in their marriages, would gladly feed you that dirty lie, but no person with a brain in the head would. undecided
I totally agree with on @bolded. Marriage have pushed many to deepest of loneliness (depression) which they often end up six feet under.

1 Like

Re: When A Deadbeat Dad Gets Old And Weary. by FreeIgboho: 3:01am On Dec 09, 2023
tete7000:


To disagree with my opinion is also a choice you made. It doesn't matter that you didn't choose to be born, what matters is that after you were born you choices will shape how your life turns out. That you disagree with that truth doesn't stop it from being true.

And the truth actually is even that in as much as you might think you didn't choose to be born, a real analysis of your coming to being might say otherwise. Out of over a million sperms, yours struggled to be ahead of others to fertilise that egg that resulted in your existence. Think about it, you always make choice, even inadvertently.

You still don’t get it. Your choices are not from you. You simply present them, but you have no power to override them. Where do your thoughts come from??
You certainly don’t choose them. You simply present them. That you choose is actually an illusion. The type of programming you received (your experiences) and the type of consciousness and brain you were given determine what you call your choices. But they’re really not your choices because you have no power to override them.
Re: When A Deadbeat Dad Gets Old And Weary. by LadyRosa2(f): 11:55am On Dec 09, 2023
Acidosis:
Most narratives about fathers or husbands abandoning their homes and children to marry some strange woman often lack critical details.

Only Ka.yanmata can make a man leave like that without some underlying issues. Always ensure you get the details.


Kayanmata my foot!
A stupid man doesn't need Kayanmata to abandon anyone.




Re: When A Deadbeat Dad Gets Old And Weary. by LadyRosa2(f): 11:55am On Dec 09, 2023
Acidosis:
Most narratives about fathers or husbands abandoning their homes and children to marry some strange woman often lack critical details.

Only Ka.yanmata can make a man leave like that without some underlying issues. Always ensure you get the details.








Kayanmata my foot!
A stupid man doesn't need Kayanmata to abandon his family
Re: When A Deadbeat Dad Gets Old And Weary. by LadyRosa2(f): 12:26pm On Dec 09, 2023
FreeIgboho:


You exposing yourself too much o. You know too much about the intricacies of this saga for this not to be your own family grin

Like I stated in my earlier post IF at all you read it well. I knew about this family at 19. At my age with kids,do you think I'm still young?
Re: When A Deadbeat Dad Gets Old And Weary. by LadyRosa2(f): 12:29pm On Dec 09, 2023
Goalnaldo:
Might be a deadbeat father to Sarah and her siblings but also the best dad to the children of the other wives. This life grin

Unfortunately no!
The step kids from other women keep calling for money for school fees, from the first wives kids, their eldest.

First wife = 4 kids
Second = 3 kids
Third = 3 kids

Thats 10 children, the ones known oooo.

A retired pensioner with diabetes.

Who do you think will take care of the kids from other wives?

1 Like 1 Share

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (Reply)

Couple Welcome Twins 25 Years After Marriage In Aba / My kids are being trained in an hotel!! I Need Advice.. / Wife Surprisingly Paid Her Husband’s Long-term Loan (video)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 29
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.