Little Johnny sees his Daddy's
car passing the playground
and going into the woods.
Curious, he follows the car and
sees Daddy and Aunt Jane kissing.
Johnny finds this so exciting and
can barely contain himself as he
runs home and starts to tell his
mother excitedly. "MOMMY,
MOMMY, I WAS AT THE
PLAYGROUND AND DADDY AND, "
Mommy tells him to slow down,
but that she wants to hear the
story. So Johnny tells her. "I was
at the playground and I saw
Daddy's car go into the woods
with Aunt Jane. I went to look
and Daddy was giving Aunt Jane a
big kiss, then he helped her take
off her shirt, then Aunt Jane
helped Daddy take his pants off,
then Aunt Jane laid down on the
seat, then Daddy, "
At this point, Mommy cut him off
and said, "Johnny, this is such an
interesting story, suppose you
save the rest of it for supper time.
I want to see the look on Daddy's
face when you tell it tonight." At
the dinner table, Mommy asks
Johnny to tell his story.
He describes the car into the
woods, the undressing, laying
down on the seat, and, "Then
Daddy and Aunt Jane did that
same thing Mommy and Uncle Jeff
used to do when Daddy was in
the Army."

What is Tension?
A beautiful girl asks lift from you.
On the way she faints and you
take her to hospital.
Doctor says ‘Congrats. You are
going to become a father.’
THAT’S IT. YOU GET TENSED.
You say – ‘But that baby is not
mine.’
Girl says – ‘he is only the father of
my baby.’
YOU HAVE MORE TENSION.
Police comes and DNA test is
done. Report comes. Which says
that you can never become a
father.
EVEN MORE TENSION FOR YOU.
Anyhow you thank God and
return home. Then you think, “At
home I have 2 kids. Whose are
those ?”
THAT IS REAL TENSION.

An American, a Nigerian and a
Canadian were in a terrible car
accident. They were all brought to
the same emergency room,
but all three of them died before
they arrived. Just as they were
about to put the toe tag on the
American, he stirred and opened
his eyes.
Astonished, the doctors
and nurses present asked him
what happened.
"Well," said the American, "I
remember the crash, and then
there was a beautiful light, and
then the Canadian and the
Nigerian and I were standing at
the gates of heaven. St. Peter
approached us and said that we
were all too young to die, and
said that for a donation of $50,
we could return to earth.
So of course I pulled out my
wallet and gave him the $50, and
the next thing I knew I was back
here."
"That's amazing!" said the one of
the doctors, "But what happened
to the other two?"
"Last I saw them," replied the
American, "the Nigerian was
haggling over the price and the
Canadian was waiting for the
government to pay."

i was tired of reading the jokes cuz they werent funny. sowi about that



joke rating 8%

At times I wonder if all people
say about politicians are actually
true. Are politicians truely liars?
Read this short story,smile n tell
what your reaction will be:
A farmer saw a
plane full
of politicians crashed near his
farm. When police came 2 the
scene they asked the farmer
what
happened?
FARMER: They crashed in my farm
& I buried dem.
POLICE: Are u sure they were all
dead?
FARMER: Some of dem said
they're
still alive, but u know how
politicians lie, so I didn't believe
dem.
Pls if u were d policeman
wat wil do?

An old man was makin luv 2a young lady n suddenly d old man started shakin.d young lady ask "old man wat's d problem?" d old man replied sayin " i dont no o, i dont no if am comin or going"

lol

Lmao! I loved all d jokes. U tried. Nice one

Like this thread

One aftanu,a wealthy lawyer was ridin in d bak of his limousine wen he saw 2 men eatin grass by d road side.He orderd his driva 2stop n he got out 2investigate."y r u eatin grass?"he askd 1 man."We dont hav any money 4food," d poor man replied."Oh, com along wit me den." "But sir,I hav a wife wit 2children!" "Bring dem along! n u,com wit us too!" he said 2d other man."But sir,I hav a wife wit 6children!" d 2nd man answered."Bring dem as wel!" They all climbed into d car,which was no easy task,even 4a car as large as d limo.once underway,one of d poor fellows says,"Sir,u r too kind.Thank u 4taking all of us wit u."
d lawyer replied, "No problem,d grass at my home is abt 2feet tall."

A particular Couple agreed that when eva they wanna hav sex dey will say let's make a fone call, 1 day, d man sent his son 2 tell d mum while she was busy in d kitchen,
SON: mum, dad is asking u 2 come so he can make a fone call, MUM: go tell dad am out of coverage area,
DAD: go tell ur mum dat if she cant come I will make d call elsewhere,
MUM: go tell ur dad that if he does that, I will open a call centre here, Have a jolly day.

Not bad

nice collection

Stella died and went to heaven ,
As she stood in front of St. Peter
at the Pearly Gates, she saw a
huge wall of clocks behind her.
She asked, "What are all those
clocks?" St Peter answered,
"Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on
Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time
you lie, the hands on your clock
will move." "Oh," said Stella,
"whose clock is that?" "That's
Bishop Ajayi Crowther's. The
hands have never moved,
indicating that he never told a lie."
"Incredible," said Stella. "And
whose is that one?" St Peter
responded, "That's Nnamdi
Azikwe's clock. The hands have
moved twice, telling us that Zik
told only two lies in his entire
life." "Where's my husband
Obasanjo's clock?" asked Stella.
"Obasanjo's clock is in Jesus'
office. He's using it as a ceiling
fan

Correct thread

Yeske!:

Correct thread

Thanks man

A Nursery 1 student in a danfo
bus from school was reciting
the day’s lesson at school, it went
thus:
If my father is a cock and my
mother a hen, I
will be a chick, if my father is a
lion and my
mother is a lioness, I will be a
cub, if
my father is a king and my
mother a queen, I will be a
prince etc, etc.
The bus driver was irritated by
the boys ‘noise’; he shouted at
the boy asking him to shut up.
But the boy continued.
Then the driver shouted, "what if
your father is an ‘armed
robber’ (thief), and your mother
an ‘ashawo’ (prostitute) what will
you be?"
The boy replied; I will be a
‘Danfo Driver’.
Frankly speaking what will u do if
u were the
danfo
driver

Thinking

BCuZiMBlaCk:

Thinking

Think wel n fast

I go shoot im yansh wit shotgun, then stitch im lips wit broken bottle

BCuZiMBlaCk:

I go shoot im yansh wit shotgun, then stitch im lips wit broken bottle

u wil b 2harsh. U don 4get say he is jus a kid. Do u no if dat was wat he was tot in d skul?

Mallam Sule bought a new bullet
proof jeep for N75M.
While visiting Warri, he was
attacked by armed robbers who
rained
bullets on his car. To Sule's
amazement the car resisted all.
So he started mouthing words at
the bandits.
One of them gestured that he
could not hear him, so Mallam
Sule wound down his window
and shouted: "shege dan
bura'uba, barawon banza;
uwaka, "
Post-script: He has since been
buried according to Muslim rites!

Jim and Mary were both patients
in a Mental Hospital. One day
while they
were walking past the hospital
swimming pool, Jim suddenly
jumped into the deep end. He
sunk to the bottom and stayed
there. Mary promptly jumped in
to save him. She swam to the
bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the medical director
became aware of Mary's heroic
act he immediately ordered her
to be discharged from the
hospital, as he now considered
her to be mentally stable.
When he went to tell Mary the
news he said, "Mary, I have good
news and
bad news. The good news is
you're being discharged because
since you were
able to jump in and save the life
of another patient, I think you've
regained your senses. The bad
news is, Jim, the patient you
saved, hung himself with his
bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I
am so sorry, but he's dead."
Mary replied "He didn't hang
himself, I put him there to dry."

Jim and Mary were both patients
in a Mental Hospital. One day
while they
were walking past the hospital
swimming pool, Jim suddenly
jumped into the deep end. He
sunk to the bottom and stayed
there. Mary promptly jumped in
to save him. She swam to the
bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the medical director
became aware of Mary's heroic
act he immediately ordered her
to be discharged from the
hospital, as he now considered
her to be mentally stable.
When he went to tell Mary the
news he said, "Mary, I have good
news and
bad news. The good news is
you're being discharged because
since you were
able to jump in and save the life
of another patient, I think you've
regained your senses. The bad
news is, Jim, the patient you
saved, hung himself with his
bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I
am so sorry, but he's dead."
Mary replied "He didn't hang
himself, I put him there to dry."

Jim and Mary were both patients
in a Mental Hospital. One day
while they
were walking past the hospital
swimming pool, Jim suddenly
jumped into the deep end. He
sunk to the bottom and stayed
there. Mary promptly jumped in
to save him. She swam to the
bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the medical director
became aware of Mary's heroic
act he immediately ordered her
to be discharged from the
hospital, as he now considered
her to be mentally stable.
When he went to tell Mary the
news he said, "Mary, I have good
news and
bad news. The good news is
you're being discharged because
since you were
able to jump in and save the life
of another patient, I think you've
regained your senses. The bad
news is, Jim, the patient you
saved, hung himself with his
bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I
am so sorry, but he's dead."
Mary replied "He didn't hang
himself, I put him there to dry."

Did you copy this joke from ola or did he copy it from you?

cool

BCuZiMBlaCk:

Did you copy this joke from ola or did he copy it from you?

I didnt copy 4rm joke 4rm any body as u rightly said i copied it 4rm Me.hav it in ma mail box.

Bakari is
a house boy who every day
drinks the wine of his Boss and
puts water in the bottle to replace
what he drank. But the Boss
having suspicions as for the
quality of the wine,
he decides to buy pastis (a French
wine that changes colour if you
add water).
Bakari as usual, takes a mouthful
and add water to replace what he
drank.
However, soon after he added
water the pastis became milky.
When the Boss came back and
noticed it, he was sure he had
managed to nail Bakari as thief!!!
At that same moment Bakari
realized he was in trouble
and decided
to go into the kitchen.
The Boss said to his wife: 'Mary,
you will see today that he will be
obliged to acknowledge’. So he
calls Bakari.
He shouted: 'Bakari!’
Bakari answered: 'Yes, Boss'.
Boss: 'Who drank my pastis?’
No answer.
The Boss reiterated his question:
'who drank my wine? Still no
answer.
Then the Boss went to
fetch Bakari from the kitchen
and says to him.
Are you insane or what? ; Why is
it that when I call you, you say
yes boss, but when I ask you a
question you don't answer me;
Bakari replied his boss that 'when
you are in the kitchen there, you
don't hear anything at all, except
the name.
Then to prove that Bakari lied, the
Boss said to him: 'You stay beside
Madam here, me I go in the
kitchen, and you ask me a
question '. Bakari accepted and
the Boss went into the kitchen.
Bakari shouted: 'Boss'.
He answered: 'Yes, Bakari'.
Bakari continued: 'Who goes in
the maid's bedroom when the
Madam is not here?
'.
No answer.
Bakari shouted again: 'Boss, I say
who made the maid pregnant?'
No answer.
Bakari shouted again (third time):
'Boss, I say who made the
maid pregnant?'
The Boss returned from the
kitchen running and says, Bakari;
it is true, you are right. When one
is in the kitchen, one does not
hear anything, only the name.

A Fat guy saw an advertisment
"lose 5kg in a week"
He cals & said i would like to join!
Lady : Ok be ready tomorrow at
6am.
Next morning He opens the door
& finds a hot babe with shoes,
underpants & shirt saying "If u
catch me u can f*ck me!" & the
girl starts running.
Guy starts running but couldn't
catch her. so during the whole
week he tried to catch her bt
couldn't & loses 5kg.
He then asks for the 10 kg
program. Next morning at 6 he
opens the door & saw even hotter
babe in bikini saying if u catch me
u can f*ck me. He loses 10 kg dat
week.
so he thought this program is
awesome! Lets try 25kg.
but the lady said are you sure? Its
really tough!!
next day at 6 he opens the door
expecting to see a nude babe.
but finds a nude man with a huge
dick saying "If i catch u i will f*ck
u!!"
that week he lost 30kg

I no sey photocopy kooo easy!but bros try do ur own thing.Stop copying old jokes dat we hav read $ enjoyed years ago.




















RUGRAT!