jay bee:

@ Nannu
Definitely not a "Nigerian guys" thing. I agree with you, it's a bit strange to be proclaiming love for you only after a week of knowing each other.
Makes it even hard to understand his motives since he his not in need of papers (This you really need to confirm, not that their is anything wrong in it as long as he his for real and your feeling towards each other is absolutely mutual)
Might be that he wants to get into your pants and using that magic word will make the process easier with minimum fuss.
Advice which you probably already know is that you guys have to get to know each other before he can even start mentioning that word. Some people find it hard to differentiate between likeness and love. It is quite possible that he likes fanices you but believe me it doesn't amount to love.

ima1:

lol typical naija guy, they r all that way, they fall in love too quick but r u sure he has all his papers, or maybe he just wants to hit it

Raymond88:

Isn't this generalization? boys will be boys - Nigerian or not!

Nannu:


Hmm and if he wanted to get just in my pants then he would've disappeared already I think,
thanks for your comment, I definitely agree that we need to get to know each other better. And I need to talk to him about this again.

mishooo:

If you are sure he's gotten his papers, then i think he doesnt want to lose you to another person.Maybe you are too beautiful for him to keep his eyes off you.Maybe his people are asking him to settle down on time.Maybe its the intensity of the Love thats making him act like that.


Meanwhile, you can still tell him to slow things down for you. It aint bad that way!!

mishooo:

Hey then that settles the panty thing. but i still feel you should tell him to slow things down a little because if you rush in there's a high probability you rush out pretty soon. Get to know his habbits and vices first. I just believe in the Test of time since you guys arent having any 'holds barred'.

jay bee:

@ Nannu
That's definitely the way forward. You need to be sure if he his who you want (this is the most important thing me think) as it will be very difficult to detect if someone really loves you.
Ball is in your court. You own the key to your own destiny and you are definitely welcome to take a slow lane

Nannu:

Exactly, and that's why I want to take my time, to know what kind of person he is. But there's a possibility that he will understand it wrong when I try to slow down,

mishooo:

If you really love him, all you've gotta do is to re-assure him by words and actions. He'll definitely treat you well (being a Naija guy). But just get to KNOW him well.

Nannu:

I think, that if he can't accept that I want to go slower, then he must be having some backmotives in his head that he wants from me, I don't see another reason for someone wanting to rush?

mishooo:

Yeah, you sure are right there!! A matured guy can always slow then when it comes to the one you LOVE. Cheers !!!

kamozini:

panty or no undies, u hv every rite to be cautious, why is he in such a rush?even if he's being pressured to settle down, he should take it easy.dnt allow yourself to be pressured especially when u hv misgivings.hav a tok with him n let him kno he should relax n go easy.if he loves u like he says he does he'll take your feelings seriously and do what he can to make u feel comfortable wit him.good luck

Nannu:

So in your experience, nigerian guys tend to be fast in their moves, ? I'm pretty sure that he has his papers, he showed me them but, I will check that out to be sure. Thanks for comment.

Nannu:

@ima
No, I'm not 100% sure. I will try to check that somehow though, And he hasn't even been here for a month, this is something that also bothers me a bit,
I'm going to be careful, and I don't trust him 100% yet.

jaybee3:
@ Nannu
Definitely not a "Nigerian guys" thing. I agree with you, it's a bit strange to be proclaiming love for you only after a week of knowing each other.
Makes it even hard to understand his motives since he his not in need of papers (This you really need to confirm, not that their is anything wrong in it as long as he his for real and your feeling towards each other is absolutely mutual)
Might be that he wants to get into your pants and using that magic word will make the process easier with minimum fuss.
Advice which you probably already know is that you guys have to get to know each other before he can even start mentioning dat word. Some people find it hard to differentiate between likeness and love. It is quite possible that he likes fanices you but believe me it doesn't amount to love.

jaybee3:
@ Nannu
Definitely not a "Nigerian guys" thing. I agree with you, it's a bit strange to be proclaiming love for you only after a week of knowing each other.
Makes it even hard to understand his motives since he his not in need of papers (This you really need to confirm, not that their is anything wrong in it as long as he his for real and your feeling towards each other is absolutely mutual)
Might be that he wants to get into your pants and using that magic word will make the process easier with minimum fuss.
Advice which you probably already know is that you guys have to get to know each other before he can even start mentioning dat word. Some people find it hard to differentiate between likeness and love. It is quite possible that he likes fanices you but believe me it doesn't amount to love.

mishooo:
If you are sure he's gotten his papers, then i think he doesnt want to lose you to another person.Maybe you are too beautiful for him to keep his eyes off you.Maybe his people are asking him to settle down on time.Maybe its the intensity of the Love thats making him act like that.


Meanwhile, you can still tell him to slow things down for you. It aint bad that way!!

dakmanzero:
Heh.

'tis nothing more than a bit of culture shock, m'dear.

He has papers already, AND you have proof he isnt after the 'wham bam thank you ma'am' experience, so we can rule out desperation (unless you happen to be filthy rich)

I suppose it's simply the way Najia men are socialized by our women here. They have cheapened the meaning of 'I love you' to the extent that it may pass as a simple dinner table pleasantry between acquaintances. In other words: What you may see as a rushed, haphazard approach may simply be what passes for a simple display of affection over here. Women here will absolutely ream you with their tongues if you don't call them three times a day every day of your life and say 'i miss you' and  'i love you' over and over again even if you absolutely do not mean what you are saying.

Simple solution: just treat the whole thing as if you are learning another language! Not all body language is the same. Get to know him better and you'll better understand what each thing he does or says really means. And don't be afraid to play hard-to-get to the point of ridiculousness,  that's how our girls behave over here. They EXPECT you to try to get into their pants every day of your life for donkey years just to prove that you REALLY want it. Conversely, the guys have come to expect you to reject their advances  even to the point of plain flat-out rudeness.

Sad, but true. lol! In any case, good luck.

PS: It is worth noting that it isn't unusual in this country for a guy to decide to marry a person who he has not known for up to a year.  Not the norm, but not unusual in any way,



PPS:

'Tis a shameful thing to admit, but there exists the definite possibility that the papers he showed you were fake and he simply wants to get you to put a ring on his finger and make him 100% legit. Yes, shameful, sad, but too many people do this crap and it would be hypocritical of me not to at least warn you. Double check all that stuff and satisfy yourself 100%. At the first hint of the word 'irregular' as regards any of his papers, run for the hills. *sigh*. such a pity that this warning has to be given at all,