An atheist was walking through the woods one day in Alaska, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What a powerful river! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he saw a 13-foot Kodiak brown bear beginning to charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could down the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was rapidly closing on him. Somehow, he ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his eyes. He looked again and the bear was even closer. His heart pounding in his chest, he tried to run faster yet. But alas, he tripped and fell to the ground. As he rolled over to pick himself up, the bear was right over him, reaching for him with its left paw and raising its right paw to strike him.

"OH MY GOD! , "

Time stopped.

The bear froze.

The forest was silent.

Even the river stopped moving ,

As a brilliant light shone upon the man, a thunderous voice came from all around,

"YOU DENY MY EXISTENCE FOR ALL THESE YEARS, TEACH OTHERS THAT I DON'T EXIST AND EVEN CREDIT CREATION TO SOME COSMIC ACCIDENT. DO YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU OUT OF THIS PREDICAMENT? AM I TO COUNT YOU AS A BELIEVER?"

Difficult as it was, the atheist looked directly into the light and said, "It would be hypocritical to ask to be a Christian after all these years, but perhaps you could make the bear a Christian?"

"VERY WELL." Said God.

The light went out.

The river ran.

The sounds of the forest resumed.

, and the bear dropped down on his knees, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, thank you for this food which I am about to receive."

Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume and began to give the moose love call. Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, "Okay, let's get out and get him." After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do?" The guy in the front says, "W.T.F, Well, I'm going to start nibbling grass, but you'd better brace yourself."

The unfortunate dry joker lilkech comes up again with an unfortunate harmattaned joke

Ajibole , oya see below , your new assignment,

lilkech:

Ajibole , oya see below , your new assignment,

yo a lunatic

Lunatic, freak? Mmm

BCuZiMBlaCk:

Lunatic, freak? Mmm

Ajibel:

yo a lunatic

HATE ALL YOU WANT , I AM JUST PLUCKING MO MONEY OFF MY ISH , KEEP ON BEEFING ME E HEAR , COS AS MY NIGGUH ALWAYZ SAY , "IT MAKES ME FAT" , lolzzzzz

IM PLUCKING EMM MEHNNN , THE MONEY LITERALLY GROWS IN MY BACKYARD

^^^

is that yo dad? pity

no offense

Oh my gosh! Dis jokes are so funny! . . .especially d first one about d atheist.

^^^ thank you

B U M P