I've been married close to 4 years now with a 2 year old boy, but marriage isn't what I envisioned it to be.

Like the said, if marriage was renewable every 5 years, I wouldn't even bother. I feel like I'm losing myself to this thing called marriage, aside from the responsibilities that comes with providing, the mental and psychological stress.

I've never been this stressed in my life and I'm someone who's usually able to handle a lot of stress, I just feel like I need time alone from everything and everyone, no calls, no text. Nothing.

And my wife even makes it worse with threats of leaving the marriage over any small issue. I think the biggest mistake of my life is getting married and I know a lot go men go through this to but they can't talk.

And that's why a lot of men die young these days.

Is it financial issues you are having?

JAOS:
Is it financial issues you are having?

Omo it's not even about financial issue, I feel it's not just worth it

It's everywhere but you can travel to Ghana under the guise of business trip. Let her breath, cheat if she want but send monthly stipends to her and look after ur son welfare. If she runs out of the house while u are still living with her the blame will be on you I can tell u that.
But if she runs out whilst u r away, it will only be a matter of time you will return and live freely as you wish. As for your son she ran away with never send a dime to her unless she returnd the child wholeheartedly that she cant cope, but Let her train the child till adulthood with her promiscuous lifestyle (and never accept her back afterwards)

Omoh,the kind of news I've been reading here on Nairaland recently especially since I started thinking about putting the ring into my banny's finger are so terrorizing and alarming

Make e no come look like say I no learn from other people mistakes cha .

Op,it's well with your soul...that's all I've got to say.

It's always like that.. Try something new with ur spouse, go on vacations, play and joke as often as you can.. Just try to have some fun and see the spike coming back into your marriage

Tit4Tat1:
It's always like that.. Try something new with ur spouse, go on vacations, play and joke as often as you can.. Just try to have some fun and see the spike coming back into your marriage

Vacation costs money, that one join wetin dey stress man sef

funkmrflexx:


Vacation costs money, that one join wetin dey stress man sef

You don't have to break a bank to go on a vacation..

Organize a sleepover during the weekends in one of the hotels in ur town with good facilities like swimming pool, games etc...

Tit4Tat1:


You don't have to break a bank to go on a vacation..

Organize a sleepover during the weekends in one of the hotels in ur town with good facilities like swimming games etc...

Very simple.

It's mainly bad news that makes headlines
There are many marriages that are working where the couples are happy so no one should feel marriages are bad

However only the marriages with issues are brought here. If someone comes to share that he is happy in his marriage, many bad belle people would call him a simp and wish his marriage would fail so few people come online to talk.

My apologies to the OP for the issues you are experiencing but it important to look every well before marrying. Most times the red flags are there but we ignore it, leave it unresolved or have this larger than life expectation that we can change the person

When kasala burst we then come to blame the institution rather than blame ourselves

Marriage is sweet don't let anyone deceive you. Pray that God would guide you to marry a good woman who has a kind heart and who is also God fearing Also you as a man, treat the woman the same way you want someone to treat your sister if you have one and see how sweet your marriage would be

funkmrflexx:
I've been married close to 4 years now with a 2 year old boy, but marriage isn't what I envisioned it to be.

Like the said, if marriage was renewable every 5 years, I wouldn't even bother. I feel like I'm losing myself to this thing called marriage, aside from the responsibilities that comes with providing, the mental and psychological stress.

I've never been this stressed in my life and I'm someone who's usually able to handle a lot of stress, I just feel like I need time alone from everything and everyone, no calls, no text. Nothing.

And my wife even makes it worse with threats of leaving the marriage over any small issue. I think the biggest mistake of my life is getting married and I know a lot go men go through this to but they can't talk.

And that's why a lot of men die young these days.

There are obviously major unresolved issues in your marriage. What are they and how are you planning to resolve it

You should have stayed unmarried. The benefits outweighs being married.

tuoyoojo:
It's mainly bad news that makes headlines
There are many marriages that are working where the couples are happy so no one should feel marriages are bad

However only the marriages with issues are brought here. If someone comes to share that he is happy in his marriage, many bad belle people would call him a simp and wish his marriage would fail so few people come online to talk.

My apologies to the OP for the issues you are experiencing but it important to look every well before marrying. Most times the red flags are there but we ignore it, leave it unresolved or have this larger than life expectation that we can change the person

When kasala burst we then come to blame the institution rather than blame ourselves

Marriage is sweet don't let anyone deceive you. Pray that God would guide you to marry a good woman who has a kind heart and who is also God fearing Also you as a man, treat the woman the same way you want someone to treat your sister if you have one and see how sweet your marriage would be

You can't expect people with good marriage to come here and be broadcasting how sweet their partner is. It's of no use to anybody. People with issues wouldn't have brought it here if they had it good also. Coming out to talk about it gives them relief and help. We deal with issues differently.

Sonnobax15:

Omoh,the kind of news I've been reading here on Nairaland recently especially since I started thinking about putting the ring into my banny's finger are so terrorizing and alarming

Make e no come look like say I no learn from others people mistakes cha .

Op,it's well with your soul...that's all I've got to say.

Don't rush yourself. You're a man.

Marriage is not for everybody.

To some bliss, to many others horror.

A good woman will make a good marriage, a nagging uncooperative woman is hell

If she threatens to leave the marriage again couple with the emotional stress you having,show her the exit door. Women don't the value their husbands until they are gone for good.

MufasaLion:


You can expect people with good marriage to come here and be broadcasting how sweet their partner is. It's of no use to anybody. People with issues wouldn't have brought it here if they had it good also. Coming out to talk about it gives them relief and help. We deal with issues differently.

Very true. I agree with you. I brought it up because someone above said he was about to engage his banny but is getting terrified with incessant stories of people having problems with their marriages so the need for the clarification

tuoyoojo:


Very true. I agree with you. I brought it up because someone above said he was about to engage his banny but is getting terrified with incessant stories of people having problems with their marriages so the need for the clarification

Right. Look into who you want to marry before you proceed. If you like, read about good marriage from now till tomorrow, if you marry rubbish, you'll end up with rubbish.

funkmrflexx:
I've been married close to 4 years now with a 2 year old boy, but marriage isn't what I envisioned it to be.

Like the said, if marriage was renewable every 5 years, I wouldn't even bother. I feel like I'm losing myself to this thing called marriage, aside from the responsibilities that comes with providing, the mental and psychological stress.

I've never been this stressed in my life and I'm someone who's usually able to handle a lot of stress, I just feel like I need time alone from everything and everyone, no calls, no text. Nothing.

And my wife even makes it worse with threats of leaving the marriage over any small issue. I think the biggest mistake of my life is getting married and I know a lot go men go through this to but they can't talk.

And that's why a lot of men die young these days.

marry ur frnd una no dey hear

funkmrflexx:
I've been married close to 4 years now with a 2 year old boy, but marriage isn't what I envisioned it to be.

Like the said, if marriage was renewable every 5 years, I wouldn't even bother. I feel like I'm losing myself to this thing called marriage, aside from the responsibilities that comes with providing, the mental and psychological stress.

I've never been this stressed in my life and I'm someone who's usually able to handle a lot of stress, I just feel like I need time alone from everything and everyone, no calls, no text. Nothing.

And my wife even makes it worse with threats of leaving the marriage over any small issue. I think the biggest mistake of my life is getting married and I know a lot go men go through this to but they can't talk.

And that's why a lot of men die young these days.

sorry bro... You are suffering from symptoms of see finish.... Anytime there is see finish, the woman begins to threaten to leave even for minor misunderstanding.... You are probably contemplating leaving her but the truth is she might leave you before you even leave her and you will end up with a broken heart..

Guys are going through a lot.. especially in this harsh economic situation.
@OP Talk to someone, seek help and don't lose yourself. The lord is your strength.

I know the pressure is huge man,I pray you find peace in your marriage and general life...


I sell herbs tho

funkmrflexx:
I've been married close to 4 years now with a 2 year old boy, but marriage isn't what I envisioned it to be.

Like the said, if marriage was renewable every 5 years, I wouldn't even bother. I feel like I'm losing myself to this thing called marriage, aside from the responsibilities that comes with providing, the mental and psychological stress.

I've never been this stressed in my life and I'm someone who's usually able to handle a lot of stress, I just feel like I need time alone from everything and everyone, no calls, no text. Nothing.

And my wife even makes it worse with threats of leaving the marriage over any small issue. I think the biggest mistake of my life is getting married and I know a lot go men go through this to but they can't talk.

And that's why a lot of men die young these days.

Whenever a wife threatens to leave, be the one to pursue her. She is already dancing to a tune and you are definitely not the drummer. Right now, she is done with the marriage without you knowing it. She is only calculating her moves and she won't make it until you're completely destroyed and down. Now that you still have your acts together, take action. A word is enough for the wise. By the way, when you were dancing and shinning teeth on your wedding day, if I had told you that you were a mugu, would you have agreed with me? Now, e don clear your eyes and we now know who dey "mature" and who no dey.

funkmrflexx:
➜I've been married close to 4 years now with a 2 year old boy, but marriage isn't what I envisioned it to be.
Like the said, if marriage was renewable every 5 years, I wouldn't even bother. I feel like I'm losing myself to this thing called marriage, aside from the responsibilities that comes with providing, the mental and psychological stress.
I've never been this stressed in my life and I'm someone who's usually able to handle a lot of stress, I just feel like I need time alone from everything and everyone, no calls, no text. Nothing.
And my wife even makes it worse with threats of leaving the marriage over any small issue. I think the biggest mistake of my life is getting married and I know a lot go men go through this to but they can't talk. And that's why a lot of men die young these days.

Please seek professional marriage counseling at this time so you and your wife can get on the same page on how you feel at this point in the marriage. Bring up the topic of separation during your counseling session, and if after some time you decide divorce is the best route then legally file for divorce.

It is OK to say you are tired of marriage or don't think you were cut out for it to begin with. Humans change and divorce is not a crime. What is never OK is abandoning your marriage and child. Only cowards and deadbeat dads resort to such measures. Couple that with the fact that marital abandonment is a criminal offense even under the code in Nigeria.

funkmrflexx:
I've been married close to 4 years now with a 2 year old boy, but marriage isn't what I envisioned it to be.

Like the said, if marriage was renewable every 5 years, I wouldn't even bother. I feel like I'm losing myself to this thing called marriage, aside from the responsibilities that comes with providing, the mental and psychological stress.

I've never been this stressed in my life and I'm someone who's usually able to handle a lot of stress, I just feel like I need time alone from everything and everyone, no calls, no text. Nothing.

And my wife even makes it worse with threats of leaving the marriage over any small issue. I think the biggest mistake of my life is getting married and I know a lot go men go through this to but they can't talk.

And that's why a lot of men die young these days.

I don't know you but please when next she threatens to leave,tell her to go. This females are manipulative and she's not going anywhere.

funkmrflexx:


Vacation costs money, that one join wetin dey stress man sef

I thought you said financial issues is not one of the things bugging you.

funkmrflexx:


Omo it's not even about financial issue, I feel it's not just worth it

Hmm man.

What did I just read, how can aunty threaten divorce and you mellowed down.

As for me, I would have left the marriage first and sent her back to her father's house.

Mind you I'm married. Mine once tried that.

I told her absolutely let's get a divorce and even started browsing on my smart TV how to get a divorce in Nigeria

She left the parlour and later begged me that night.

Don't EVER LET A WOMAN DO THAT YOU, abi you marry am free?

As commenters have advised, take some time off for yourself...I have a guest house close to my house were I go chill atimes in the guise of a journey were I can have some peace and quiet.

It's understandable; my cousin had some marital issues in October. Although he has thrown in the towel. He has been a faithful and very open husband to his wife for over 9 years. Then suddenly the wife started developing that ego attitude. From buying properties without the husband's consent to attending evening parties without informing her husband. Her business is booming, but still, she will disturb him for virtually everything. At any slight misunderstanding, she threatens to quit the marriage. She even had the guts to rent an apartment and left her marital home, leaving behind her husband and 2 kids. We attended one family meeting to another, just to make peace. Still, this woman wouldn't let peace rain. At the last meeting I attended, I told them that nobody should ever call me for any meeting again and that I was fed up. My bro told everyone present that he was no longer interested in such a problematic, and stress filled marriage.

He took the kids to the woman and warned her never to come near his house again. A month down the line bro has added weight now looking like a fresh agege bread. What's the secret I asked. The response was peace of mind. He can eat once a day, and he doesn't feel hungry. He sleeps when he likes and wakes up when he likes. I was even told that the ex-wife was making some reconciliatory efforts. Although she dare not call me.

There are two things that will keep your marriage
Money and a good dîck.
The rest are manageable

tuoyoojo:
It's mainly bad news that makes headlines
There are many marriages that are working where the couples are happy so no one should feel marriages are bad

However only the marriages with issues are brought here. If someone comes to share that he is happy in his marriage, many bad belle people would call him a simp and wish his marriage would fail so few people come online to talk.

My apologies to the OP for the issues you are experiencing but it important to look every well before marrying. Most times the red flags are there but we ignore it, leave it unresolved or have this larger than life expectation that we can change the person

When kasala burst we then come to blame the institution rather than blame ourselves

Marriage is sweet don't let anyone deceive you. Pray that God would guide you to marry a good woman who has a kind heart and who is also God fearing Also you as a man, treat the woman the same way you want someone to treat your sister if you have one and see how sweet your marriage would be

Is people like you that makes men feels marriage is of no benefit to them...take a look at your last sentence??

A man should treat the woman the same way you want someone to treat your sister if you have one and see how sweet your marriage would be ?? Like men are the issue?? How she treat him in return doesn't matter??

First of all the fact doing that doesn't guarantee anything no even pain me , what pain the most is the fact you don't even care how she treat the man in return or you just assume all women are good and angels??

Learn to balance things when talking about Marriage....both partners needs to treat each other good.

alpharoyalty:
There are two things that will keep your marriage
Money and a good dîck.
The rest are manageable

Big lie.

I doubt if you are married.

funkmrflexx:
.
And my wife even makes it worse with threats of leaving the marriage over any small issue. I think the biggest mistake of my life is getting married and I know a lot go men go through this to but they can't talk.

Let her go.
You are stressed because you are begging her.
A man should NEVER beg a woman to stay.

Pastor Jerry Eze of Nsppd held a program in TBS in Lagos, it is ladies that full there. All of them are looking for husbands.