Ok, am really confused! What's the difference between Extreme introvertism and austism? Am pretty sure and not an extrovert, but what i see as a potential problem is that i do handle social lifestyle very well when am around families/friends, in fact the do think an an extrovert, but around acquaintance, i don't seems to be lifely, not until i get to know them. Can anybody tell me what i am? Extro? Or intro? Or exin?

What do you expect people who have thousands of posts on NL to be?

laidback:

My opinion is that since opposites attract, introverts should be attracted to extroverts. But I find as an introvert, I tend to fall more for introverts. But somehow this leads to excessive hours indoors which ultimately leave me phlegmatic.

Please someone respond to this question. I'm about 30 yrs, but this still leaves me sometimes confused. I know! weird ehn?

Introverts are not uniform with their interests. It is likely that as a human being whether extrovert or introvert you will be interested in someone who has traits or interests in things that you value very much. Once they meet your criteria you would naturally gravitate towards them- whether they would like you in return is a different matter.

This thread is moving towards the question: can an introvert man get the girl he wants? Big question, I think we mostly do because we are more cautious and calculating in our approach, proposals like this not uncommon:

Hello, I have been observing you for some time and like you a lot. I don't have the time to play around but would like to have a serious relationship with you. It is okay if you want to think about it but I would really like a sincere response from you- I hope you will say yes!

What do you think the girl would say?

For the first time am following a post thru out. Major problem of an introvert is also Handling relationships.
Most of the relationships i ve had is cos the girls had a crush on me.

Fantastic tread! So meaningful that it culd help many to discover who they really are. I recommend this piece for NL Nobel prize for Peace. This tread trascended tribes and languages. It soothes instead enrage, heals instead of bring pain. I love it!

I'm not an extrovert and I'm not an Introvert, Please what am I ?

call mua introvert,melancholy nd wotever, Its cool on mua§

if you are a regular poster on nairaland , there is 70 % chances that u r an introvert. Especially the ones that make intelligent contributions.
Those that make out of way nonsensical comments are mostly extrovert eg 190

EagleNest:

Fantastic tread! So meaningful that it culd help many to discover who they really are. I recommend this piece for NL Nobel prize for Peace. This tread trascended tribes and languages. It soothes instead enrage, heals instead of bring pain. I love it!

I couldn't agree with you more.

maclatunji:

Introverts are not uniform with their interests. It is likely that as a human being whether extrovert or introvert you will be interested in someone who has traits or interests in things that you value very much. Once they meet your criteria you would naturally gravitate towards them- whether they would like you in return is a different matter.

This thread is moving towards the question: can an introvert man get the girl he wants? Big question, I think we mostly do because we are more cautious and calculating in our approach,  proposals like this not uncommon:

Hello, I have been observing you for some time and like you a lot. I don't have the time to play around but would like to have a serious relationship with you. It is okay if you want to think about it but I would really like a sincere response from you- I hope you will say yes!

What do you think the girl would say?

No it's not about whether the Introvert can get the girl. I usually don't have problems getting a girl I'm attracted to reciprocating that interest. It's just that as introverts we tend to over analyse a lot. So instead of just going with the flow and watching how things pan out. I want to know upfront if it is worth it.

Also I somehow just like the opposites attract theory. My closest friends (for years) are the very smart and witty extrovert types - so i think my romantic, (opposite-sex) relationships should mirror this particular trend. but it rarely does, in that I till find myself liking introverts. infact I've noticed most of these same introvert ladies seem to prefer the extroverted guys. However if I really like her i'll still go ahead and score some great points. do you understand my ish?

freecocoa:

I think I agree with Suya on people not being exclusively introverted or extroverted.

sauer:

I'm an introvert! Though it doesn't show on NL, cos it's easier to interact on NL. I stayed indoors for a whole week once, didn't leave my room!

Now i feel relieved after reading fellow introverts posts. Am not alone.

laidback:

I couldn't agree with you more.

No it's not about whether the Introvert can get the girl. I usually don't have problems getting a girl I'm attracted to reciprocating that interest. It's just that as introverts we tend to over analyse a lot. So instead of just going with the flow and watching how things pan out. I want to know upfront if it is worth it.

Also I somehow just like the opposites attract theory. My closest friends (for years) are the very smart and witty extrovert types - so i think my romantic, (opposite-sex) relationships should mirror this particular trend. but it rarely does, in that I till find myself liking introverts. infact I've noticed most of these same introvert ladies seem to prefer the extroverted guys. However if I really like her i'll still go ahead and score some great points. do you understand my ish?

do you have any introverted close friends?
how introverted are you on a scale of 1-10?

Reading people comment about this post has really made me feel relieved. Before now I only use check on nairaland to laugh wen I need to be and don't have any post of my own here. I don't really talk to people because I don't think anyone will understand me because I think too much. I select almost everything I do very carefully I can even screen anything.I feel lonely sometime but still I don't want anybody to invade my privacy. I like to be alone inside if I don't have anything to do.another part to me is that I easyly pity people even to my own detriment. Am poor but will still give my last kobo to help even someone that is rich if I feel the person need it that moment. Is all these part of been introvert or I have problem?

The most insultive and abusive people on nairaland have thousands and tens of thousands of post.That is my observation.When people spend too much time always indoors and the pc is nearby with internet connection,if they are not careful,the devil takes over,the insults and abuses to your fellow human being start flying electronically.

[quotedo you have any introverted close friends?
how introverted are you on a scale of 1-10?][quote][/quote]

Yep. I have like 3 really close friends, been great friends for years now. One of them is introverted, but occasionally you'd mistake him for an extrovert. The remaining 2 are completely extroverted. my other good friends are a mix with more being extroverts.

As for female (romantic) relationships, I find it difficult to hang on to the extroverted ones. But basically I'm a one at a time kind, only move on to the next if the present doesn't work out - if you get my drift. I tend to really like the introverted ladies who seem to prefer the extroverted guys. It's confusing!

On a 1-10 index, i'm a 6.5 introvert

life_style:

I'm not an extrovert and I'm not an Introvert, Please what am I ?

you may be trovert

I'm also an introvert, as my large number of posts on NL indicate according to oyb.

There is no problem with being what you are. Although many false judgements can be made
at any time. We live in a society where labels which edify the abundance of ones heart should he
or she decide to accept it. Always changing. Flavor of the month. This quarter being sensitive
(which is usually popular) could somehow be used as a way of profiling  a deranged killer and
all of a sudden there is a dark shadow following the definition. Next month perhaps a famous
veteran actor may be interviewed on Larry King a question or answer could come up with a
hint of the person being an introvert. Now the label could take a new face of abilities and
successful talent. It all depends on how close a person follows group consciousness in society.
Buzz words etc.

May God bless the poster, finally I'v been relieved cos mine has gotten to a point where I use to ask myself if my future wife will not complain of being bored around me. I can afford to think and plan for what I will do in the next 5 yrs bt will hardly communicate wt people around me, even do it has made me a little more successful in relative terms bt i know that some people around me don't like that aspect of me.

laidback:

Yep. I have like 3 really close friends, been great friends for years now. One of them is introverted, but occasionally you'd mistake him for an extrovert. The remaining 2 are completely extroverted. my other good friends are a mix with more being extroverts.

As for female (romantic) relationships, I find it difficult to hang on to the extroverted ones. But basically I'm a one at a time kind, only move on to the next if the present doesn't work out - if you get my drift. I tend to really like the introverted ladies who seem to prefer the extroverted guys. It's confusing!

On a 1-10 index, i'm a 6.5 introvert

what makes it difficult for you to hang on to extroverted girlfriends?
how do you mean by you tend to like introverted women who prefer extroverted guys? do they tell you that?

about the opposites attract thing, what I would assume is that when two introverts are together, one of them will be more extroverted than the other. ex.if your gf was 8.5 introverted, you would be the more extroverted one. or in her eyes, you would be extroverted.

@OP
Excellent post. The minute I saw the title of the thread, I had to read it. I am an introvert and make no apologies for who I am. I prefer staying indoors, enjoy my privacy, hate talking to strangers, enjoy quiet time and dispise meddlesome people. I enjoy the temporary company of others but don't like the idea of having someone around me 24/7. Everything the writer of the article said is true and I agree with the writer of the article 100%.

this is so true am a real Introvert it is like i am reading about myself my life, thanks so much for this article

jonex70:

Reading people comment about this post has really made me feel relieved. Before now I only use check on nairaland to laugh wen I need to be and don't have any post of my own here. I don't really talk to people because I don't think anyone will understand me because[b] I think too much[/b]. I select almost everything I do very carefully I can even screen anything.I feel lonely sometime but still I don't want anybody to invade my privacy. I like to be alone inside if I don't have anything to do.another part to me is that[b] I easyly pity people even to my own detriment[/b]. Am poor but will still give my last kobo to help even someone that is rich if I feel the person need it that moment. Is all these part of been introvert or I have problem?

@Jonex70, you belong to the extreme part of the introversion continuum which I say have serious issues that need to be dealt with (see my earlier post in this thread). From the bolded part of your statement, what u describe is textbook low self-esteem for the introverted personality. Your self-image ( the image you have of yourself) is probably poor. You probably do not value yourself much. My guess is that you come from a dysfunctional home or that you had bad experiences in your childhood or adolescence that conditioned you that way. How was your relationship between you and your parents? What was your upbringing like? From the answers you give to these, u will find the root cause of your self-image issues. You do not love yourself enough to take care of yourself but feel compelled to take care of others. You cannot give what u do not have. To give love, u must have it in yourself in abundance.

Playing the martyr, by sacrificing your needs and desires in order to satisfy others is a recipe for a lot of pain and frustration in the long term,  Secondly, you seem to have a rigid boundary, not wanting anybody to invade your privacy is symptomatic of self-image issues. Normal people have boundaries that are a bit flexible, I'll need a feedback from u on my comment before I can proffer solutions.

Jenifa_:


what makes it difficult for you to hang on to extroverted girlfriends?
how do you mean by you tend to like introverted women who prefer extroverted guys? do they tell you that?

about the opposites attract thing, what I would assume is that when two introverts are together, one of them will be more extroverted than the other. ex.if your gf was 8.5 introverted, you would be the more extroverted one. or in her eyes, you would be extroverted.

Hmm, this makes the whole concept relative rather than definite like the OP tends to suggest.

I meant I tend to prefer introverted ladies for serious relationships, but they (introverted ladies) tend to prefer extroverted guys. It's just my perception. I don't know may be its just me or my extroversion isn't enough for the extroverted  ladies to cope with or maybe I'm just generalising. Like I said it's kinda confusing.  But i like your analysis. Nice  

All these Nairaland party goers are now Introverts overnight.

I no fit laugh .

@poster, who gave you the audacity to describe me in this forum, you got me there, thanks alots for this your educative post that have made me to discover myself, am not a regular poster on nl but i had to delve into this thread coz it affects me. Am an introvert to the core & i used to think it's a kinda abnormality that i have(as i was meant to believe).

@laidback,
yes it really is all relative.

so I am wondering how you are when you are with your girlfriends. who is usually the more introverted one? who is usually the more extroverted one?
when you say you are more attracted to introverts, does that mean that you prefer to be the extrovert in the relationship? or do you prefer yourself to be the more introverted one in the relationship.

if you want an extrovert,find one who is just a little bit more extroverted than you. so you can cope with each other.
if you want an introvert, I think you should be fine. you just have to be a little bit more extroverted than her.
there has to be a balance.

kinda like identical twins, one is usually more extroverted compared to the other. even though they both might be introverts.
or a married couple.
or any relationship in general.
it's all about balance really

Where are the extroverts on NL? I guess they are not registered members!

@Deemain, I don't have low esteem problem trust me when I say that. About my parent and upbringing u may have some point there. I have few friend buit I only want to meet people or want to see u only if I invite u.I can cope with anybody and can also leave with any type of humanbeing. I have never seen anyone that has ever met me and don't like me. I can intaract with anybody if I want to no matter ur class or level. Matter of fact some people think its a priviledge to talk with me because they know I don't talk with people and wen I eventual do its gonna be sensesible one.I can also joke a lot if am in the mood. I hate party and am still thinking of joininh jehova witness because I like their life style and it suit me well. I help people at my own detriment not because I don't value myself but because I can always get another one.I can't just stand people suferring.I can give in anyway just to help not just money and I can turn violent to help someone if I feel the person is been cheated.I hate fake people and I like feedom and like people to do wat they like and not because someone want them to do it. I can't stand low self esteem people.ii can keep quiet for 72 hours without saying a word and still finish off Nigeria. Mind you am not a violent person but very intelligent according to people. I also watch a lot of inteligent movie and I like to learn from people mistake.am very imform and. Stay kin torch with happening in world 24 hours. I don't have good relationship with my parennt like u said but that never affect me. Infact they party too much and I don't like that about them but we are not enemy but we hadly see. So waiting for ur reply but don't use most of the foul language you use in ur first comment.

I am definitely an introvert. The most annoying question you can ask an introvert is "what are u thinking right now?" u really wanna know? fuuuck off!

One of the advantages of being an introvert is that I never get bored. My mind is so rich that I can just sit alone and entertain myself with my own thoughts. An extrovert would probably drop dead without social stimulation .