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Getting Married In A Couple Of Weeks, And Discovered Hubby Is A Fraud! - Romance - Nairaland

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Getting Married In A Couple Of Weeks, And Discovered Hubby Is A Fraud! by imalady: 12:02am On Jan 12, 2012
hi nairalanders, i am new to this website as a member, but i love some of the advise given on here hence reason for asking for external help regarding my dilemma,

I am due to get married to this lovely kind hearted gentleman in less than a month; but i have just found out while using my partners Ipad an email that has got me worried, i had a miscarriage in April of last year, at this point we were already engaged, we agreed to try again soon.I told him i was not 100 % ready and he said he understood, about September of last year, he intentional started having unprotected sex with me and i fell pregnant again within that month, all is well with the baby and i am now over 4 months pregnant and he seems over the moon and ecstatic about the upcoming birth of our child,he even went with me for the scan and treats me like a princess(i used to feel like the luckiest girl in the world), we informed my family together and has even suggested we go to the states for baby shopping after the wedding, like i was saying earlier what i found in his email (inbox) really shocked me! he had set up an email address in my name , impersonated me and composed a letter addressed to himself with me saying i was aware he didnt want want the baby and also suggesting i was breaking up with him, and that we had both gone to an abortion clinic together and that i had decided to have the child on my own and i wont be needing his help or support with the child since i knew he didnt want the baby and i had a good job and would be able to support the child all by myself and i wanted nothing from him.

i am really upset and would like to confront him about the email, but i am uncertain of where it would lead considering the wedding is in only a couple of weeks time and friends and family have all been invited, MY FELLOW NAIRALANDERS PLEASE HELP
Re: Getting Married In A Couple Of Weeks, And Discovered Hubby Is A Fraud! by Odunnu: 12:07am On Jan 12, 2012
I fear to assume but honestly, I dont get the script

1 Like

Re: Getting Married In A Couple Of Weeks, And Discovered Hubby Is A Fraud! by imalady: 12:10am On Jan 12, 2012
i am pregnant and getting married but found out husband composed an email using a fake account in my name, suggesting i am aware he wants to have nothing to do with the baby, has suggested abortion, which i have refused and i am keeping the baby and raising it all on my own, problem is he hasnt mentioned this to me, i only found out mistakenly and dont know if to ask him about what i read
Re: Getting Married In A Couple Of Weeks, And Discovered Hubby Is A Fraud! by slimyem: 12:16am On Jan 12, 2012
i think you should ask him what that is all about.i also think you should flee!!
Chances are your marriage to him is probably going to be a fraud too.goodluck!!

2 Likes

Re: Getting Married In A Couple Of Weeks, And Discovered Hubby Is A Fraud! by Jenifa1: 12:20am On Jan 12, 2012
@OP, your post is very confusing.

why not just tell him what you found.
and have a voice recorder with you.

your username sef is fishy. I think you are a man. impersonating a woman.

1 Like

Re: Getting Married In A Couple Of Weeks, And Discovered Hubby Is A Fraud! by imalady: 12:21am On Jan 12, 2012
But the wedding is in less than 3 weeks

And we have paid over £20,000 towards it already!
Re: Getting Married In A Couple Of Weeks, And Discovered Hubby Is A Fraud! by imalady: 12:22am On Jan 12, 2012
@ Jenifa, i am scared of what i would discover! i havent even told my family for the fear of shame as they all think he is such a wonderful man
Re: Getting Married In A Couple Of Weeks, And Discovered Hubby Is A Fraud! by Jenifa1: 12:23am On Jan 12, 2012
nobody is saying you can't have your wedding. undecided

point is, tell him what you saw. couples fight and have misunderstandings all d time.
it may have been someone else impersonating you and sending him emails
Re: Getting Married In A Couple Of Weeks, And Discovered Hubby Is A Fraud! by Arkhin(m): 12:24am On Jan 12, 2012
I think there's someone else in the picture who he's trying to show the mail to, anyhow it's complicated and i smell foul play. Chances are if you ask him, the whole arrangement may collapse and considering a whole lot, you have a lot to lose. Well i think you should ask him and face the consequences now than get married and find out some damning revelations. Wish you luck.
Re: Getting Married In A Couple Of Weeks, And Discovered Hubby Is A Fraud! by Mynd44: 12:29am On Jan 12, 2012
So because you have spent so much money on the wedding it can't be called off? Lady you need to be careful before this guy leaves you on the altar and tells everyone that you were the one who decide to call the wedding off. Show the message to some people so you can have prove and when he makes his move you can counter him. Confronting him will not solve anything and he will just deny it.
Re: Getting Married In A Couple Of Weeks, And Discovered Hubby Is A Fraud! by imalady: 12:30am On Jan 12, 2012
I so wish i never read that email, because now i have to confront my worst fears, it doesnt  help that i am pregnant

so you all think its better i confront him before the wedding rather than after?

I saved a copy for myself as evidence so he won't be able to lie about it, am just so scared of what demons i might bring out with my confrontation,
Re: Getting Married In A Couple Of Weeks, And Discovered Hubby Is A Fraud! by Mynd44: 12:32am On Jan 12, 2012
Girl confront him but don't do it alone he might try t sweetmouth himself out of it. You just have to be strong
Re: Getting Married In A Couple Of Weeks, And Discovered Hubby Is A Fraud! by Arkhin(m): 12:38am On Jan 12, 2012
Confront him before the wedding babe, we gat your back!
Re: Getting Married In A Couple Of Weeks, And Discovered Hubby Is A Fraud! by imalady: 12:42am On Jan 12, 2012
should i confront him in person? or just email a copy back to him so he knows i am 100% aware of what he is up to?
Re: Getting Married In A Couple Of Weeks, And Discovered Hubby Is A Fraud! by Arkhin(m): 12:47am On Jan 12, 2012
If you send him a mail, then you've given him an opportunity to cook up some lies, tell him physically but don't be on the offensive, be calm and watch his reactions.
Re: Getting Married In A Couple Of Weeks, And Discovered Hubby Is A Fraud! by imalady: 12:49am On Jan 12, 2012
@ Arkhin thanks for your advise, just glad someone understands my dilemma, am too embarrased to even tell my closest due to the fear of what might become, really appreciate your advise
Re: Getting Married In A Couple Of Weeks, And Discovered Hubby Is A Fraud! by Mynd44: 12:58am On Jan 12, 2012
Go confront him and don't be scared. When he replies, don't say anything go home and think about all he says before making your decision
Re: Getting Married In A Couple Of Weeks, And Discovered Hubby Is A Fraud! by nanidee(f): 12:59am On Jan 12, 2012
LISTEN/READ:
1) There is another woman in the picture, and he is trying to prove a point to her.

2) Ħe's been doing nasty things at ur back.

3) Show the email to your family members, and maybe his own family members. Iτ̅ seems he wants to use the mail somehow, someway, someday.

4) Confront him about the email, and make sure a member of his family and your family are present.

5) Watch your back with him, if u still decide to go ahead with the marriage (because iτ̅ looks like u are scared of letting go)
Re: Getting Married In A Couple Of Weeks, And Discovered Hubby Is A Fraud! by Arkhin(m): 1:00am On Jan 12, 2012
I understand, it's not something one can be proud of to share with people, just be as cool as can be when bringing up the topic but apply your head and not your heart. I wish it's not what you're thinking anyway. Goodluck!
Re: Getting Married In A Couple Of Weeks, And Discovered Hubby Is A Fraud! by imalady: 1:06am On Jan 12, 2012
I also read exchanged messages on his facebook, his excitement telling his friends and family how much he loves me and cant wait to have me as his wife,

Thing is i know he is a good catch as he is successful and very well mannered, he used to be married actually and he came out and honestly told me that when he wanted to get a divorce he lied to the woman that another lady was pregnant for him, ( this on its own is a dodgy scenario)


So my concern is, is this a way to let someone else from his past off gently? we have been together less than 2 years and i have not fully lived with him due to work commitments, but i have finally secured a transfer to his area recently,

This is just not good for my pregnancy hormones undecided
Re: Getting Married In A Couple Of Weeks, And Discovered Hubby Is A Fraud! by 25omega(m): 1:18am On Jan 12, 2012
hmm poster your story is odd most people would be furious to find such but you are here on NL calm explaining and re-explaining the story.

if i were you i would confront him but not after i have shown the emails to my family and friends and after i have made copies of the mail. Also you can't confront someone like that on your own, you MUST have people around when you do because if he is that dubios only God knows what he can do to you. no joke

Anyway after you have confronted him then you make a decision if you want to continue with the relationship. And for christ sakes dont marry someone you dont trust for the sake of pregnancy or shame or what your family and friends will say dont even worry about the money spent because if you died you cant take it with you.

just be careful
Re: Getting Married In A Couple Of Weeks, And Discovered Hubby Is A Fraud! by MrsChima1(f): 1:30am On Jan 12, 2012
(confused as hell)

1 Like

Re: Getting Married In A Couple Of Weeks, And Discovered Hubby Is A Fraud! by coogar: 1:33am On Jan 12, 2012
im_a lady:

hi nairalanders, i am new to this website as a member, but i love some of the advise given on here hence reason for asking for external help regarding my dilemma,

I am due to get married to this lovely kind hearted gentleman in less than a month; but i have just found out while using my partners Ipad an email that has got me worried, i had a miscarriage in April of last year, at this point we were already engaged, we agreed to try again soon.I told him i was not 100 % ready and he said he understood, about September of last year, he intentional started having unprotected sex with me and i fell pregnant again within that month, all is well with the baby and i am now over 4 months pregnant and he seems over the moon and ecstatic about the upcoming birth of our child,he even went with me for the scan and treats me like a princess(i used to feel like the luckiest girl in the world), we informed my family together and has even suggested we go to the states for baby shopping after the wedding, like i was saying earlier what i found in his email (inbox) really shocked me! he had set up an email address in my name , impersonated me and composed a letter addressed to himself with me saying i was aware he didnt want want the baby and also suggesting i was breaking up with him, and that we had both gone to an abortion clinic together and that i had decided to have the child on my own and i wont be needing his help or support with the child since i knew he didnt want the baby and i had a good job and would be able to support the child all by myself and i wanted nothing from him.

i am really upset and would like to confront him about the email, but i am uncertain of where it would lead considering the wedding is in only a couple of weeks time and friends and family have all been invited, MY FELLOW NAIRALANDERS PLEASE HELP

why must you confront him?
you know what he doesn't know you know. grin

if i were you, i would use that to my advantage.
Re: Getting Married In A Couple Of Weeks, And Discovered Hubby Is A Fraud! by imalady: 1:44am On Jan 12, 2012
@ coogar Thanks!, thats exactly how i thought to handle it, see what he is playing at quietly because at the end of the day, am the one with lots to loose here
Re: Getting Married In A Couple Of Weeks, And Discovered Hubby Is A Fraud! by coogar: 1:57am On Jan 12, 2012
im_a lady:

@ coogar Thanks!, thats exactly how i thought to handle it, see what he is playing at quietly because at the end of the day, am the one with lots to loose here

play along.
copy the emails into many places as possible. he doesn't know you know - there's gotta be one advantage in that.

watch every move, plug up all the loopholes and he becomes your puppet.
be one step ahead of him and within weeks, you would know what he's up to.
Re: Getting Married In A Couple Of Weeks, And Discovered Hubby Is A Fraud! by Nekai(f): 2:12am On Jan 12, 2012
I hope you wrote down the intended address, and saved the whole transcript.

Your hubby to be could either be a fraud, or he could be getting cold feet and creating a back up plan.

Don't take this matter to the whole family, as that will not help things. Since you are not leaving him it makes no sense to put your relationship issues on blast.
Re: Getting Married In A Couple Of Weeks, And Discovered Hubby Is A Fraud! by peziz(f): 2:20am On Jan 12, 2012
Your story aint adding up one bit. Too many side and patched up stories included in the main issue. So Confused.:-/ Sister abeg!  nah u know the guy, nah u knw hw u go take resolve this issue.
Re: Getting Married In A Couple Of Weeks, And Discovered Hubby Is A Fraud! by Nobody: 2:25am On Jan 12, 2012
oh dear another single mom in the making
Re: Getting Married In A Couple Of Weeks, And Discovered Hubby Is A Fraud! by Ranoscky(m): 2:54am On Jan 12, 2012
Keep all the evidence and chill for a while to know what he's up to! For even if another lady is on the move, since he is stil confident of headin to the alter with YOU, then just keep calm, sit tight and watch how err'thin unfolds.
Re: Getting Married In A Couple Of Weeks, And Discovered Hubby Is A Fraud! by tpia5: 4:25am On Jan 12, 2012
dangers of casual s.ex.

you may be sleeping with your sworn enemy without knowing.

anyway, just pray and ask God for forgiveness, if this is a true story.

then move on from there.




peziz:

Your story aint adding up one bit. Too many side and patched up stories included in the main issue. So Confused.:-/ Sister abeg!  nah u know the guy, nah u knw hw u go take resolve this issue.

true talk.

na wa for nairaland and tall tales.


the she may even be a he.
Re: Getting Married In A Couple Of Weeks, And Discovered Hubby Is A Fraud! by Mynd44: 6:05am On Jan 12, 2012
davidylan:

oh dear another single mom in the making
Re: Getting Married In A Couple Of Weeks, And Discovered Hubby Is A Fraud! by Cuddlemii: 6:30am On Jan 12, 2012
This story sounds like a mafia flick. This is a very strange topic. What won't naija men dabble into. And where is that foolish Opribo that said unmarried women should be stoned and beheaded. smh

@op, I really sympathize with you but even if he was having unprotected sex with you, why didn't you protect your own self, are you a baby or what? How much is postinor2 that you are going through all these now.

I am afraid you have to sit back and see what he is up to as you are already pregnant and have a wedding coming up soon but prepare your mind for anything. People should learn to use protection and run proper test on themselves because that thing called prick can be very sweet but with severe consequences so make sure you are always well secured or open up with insurance and not assurance.

Its obvious he is living a double life, he must have an oyinbo wife somewhere or something. You said he is well to do, what is he into, hope not that he is even a 419ner or fraudster for him to impersonate you like that. You were busy frolicking with a man you didn't run a background search on him. How well do people know who they are dating, sleeping-with or in relationship with, this is a good lesson to ladies and I inclusive. That miscarriage was a bad omen and sign, an easy escape root only for you to make the same mistake. Sorry once again and get to the root of the matter before you do anything rash.

Wait a min, sh-it! that guy played you. He is probably married to a barren woman and dated u for a child or he needs to prove that he can father a child. Because why else would he want a child so bad as to get u pregnant twice when he doesn't want any commitment or marriage. Maybe he relocated to achieve his means. He might even kill you after the baby is born. He had mapped out his plan from the get go, he saw an emotional lady to play stunts with. The act of trickery and devious antics. I am thinking like a crook here

1 Like

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