malaika:

I think coogar has the best suggestion: use the fact that he doesn't know that you know - to your advantage!

Did you check his Sent Mail to see if he'd forwarded "your" break-up e-mail to anyone? Good that you're keeping copies of this.

You need to be brave. I'm surprised you're so "cool-headed" about this, after all you're pregnant and allowed to throw tantrums anyhow Just delete this fake e-mail from his inbox and trash and wait to see if he'll be bold enough to confront you. If he's already forwarded it to someone then send an email telling the person the truth. If there was a way to delete the whole fake account in your name I'd say do it - doesn't yahoo etc have people you could contact since this is clearly 'identity' fraud? or find a seasoned hacker to remove it and scupper his plans quietly while being the 'vulnerable' sweet pregnant fiancee at home

If he does confront you, go the "I did it, so what?" route and let him know you've forwarded everything to a lawyer (which you actually should for child maintenance purposes, since he's already got you 'saying' that you will support the baby on your own).

BTW didn't know the Romance section had such juicy tales, but I remain loyally a Family-section member

This is not some spy movie , I think she should confront him before they go to the altar. Delay might be dangerous.

^^^^ i concur @ poster, this is your life not a Nikita series dont even attempt or bother to play any games simply confront him and you will know the truth and it shall set you free whatever you discover after confronting him will enable you make a decision to marry him or not. The earlier you confront him the better for you.

The issue here is transparency, not being with a divorcé or pregnant before marriage.
How do you stay tranquil with a man who has a hidden agenda - one you can't even figure out?

andromida:

^^^^ i concur @ poster, this is your life not a Nikita series dont even attempt or bother to play any games simply confront him and you will know the truth and it shall set you free whatever you discover after confronting him will enable you make a decision to marry him or not. The earlier you confront him the better for you.

Exactly my point , lol @ Nikita series

davidylan:

What are you doing with a divorced man? If he can leave one woman then he can surely leave you too.

Give her a break. There are certain things we have no control over

@ malaika, And all these AFTER she must have gotten married?? Or it will drag on even after then?

I dont think some people honour the marriage institution anymore.

@OP, You would make a covenant on an institution that is dear to God's heart - your first ever marriage in life which u must have dreamt about since u were a kid. You would open-eyedly go before God to make vows u never intend to keep, and enter into a marriage that was a sham & fraud?

Look, no matter what opinions 'civilization' has about marriage, where people think they can get in and get out anytime they like, we had better know that He has never shaken on His stand concerning it. Everyone will receive the reward they deserve.

Let it all out in the open, even before his family, and let him explain what it was all about.
Your child deserves this much from you.

Forget any seeming 'shame' u might be worried about now. It will be much more shameful to you if he disappears abandoning you with his child, and worse of all, nobody would believe you didn't send that mail if u dont speak up now.

This doesn't sound real cos I believe that someone is trying to brake up your marriage. If you still think he is responsible for the post, confront him and seek for his reasons.

My dear sister, its unfortunate you find yourself in this situation but its' like that sometimes.

It is always good to meet a man who is loving and kind hearted but we should'nt get carried away by the tide. You did not mention if you have met his parents and relatives and being to his house. Where is he based? What kind of work does he do?

I sincerely think that your guy is either married or committed to a lady "with more prospects". For Christ sake, how can a man spend close to £20,000 on something and wants to get out. Make him tell you the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Throw it in his face the next time you see him. Demand straight answers before it gets too late.

if he does'nt see you as a wife material then why did you get pregnant by letting him bang you without raincoat?

Missy_B:

The problem here is transparency, not being with a divorcé or pregnant before marriage.
How do you stay tranquil with a man who has a hidden agenda - one you can't even figure out?

I disagree with you. I think we should be real here so that ladies can learn from this experience. I know the need for love, companionship and marriage. But at the same time lets do the right things at the right time. Do you know its very possible that the op knew he married a white woman just for stay and now wants a naija wife only that he played a fast one on the op too, the law of karma. Ladies go into some pact with guys out of desperation & emotional entanglement. This story could be in several ways.

So leave the transparency aside, how many human beings in this world are transparent? How are we so sure she is telling us how this whole thing happened, what if she left somethings unsaid? Every human being plays several games, but you have to be a scammer to scam a scammer or not get scammed. What was wrong with doing proper investigation on her part? What was wrong with waiting till she gets married before getting pregnant since she knew he has left a lady before so he has the tendencies to screw women over so she should have used protection too(he doesn't need to know after all he is also playing her). There are some love you need to use your brain for abeg, leave the heart aside.

I am quite suprised at how women of 21st century reason. U just saw a someone wearing trousers, u called him a man, u quickly follow him and started to have sex with him. Let me tell u, any man dat says he loves u and wants to have sex with u b4 marriage does not truly love u. U can only notice this few months after wedding. I am a man and i know the psychological effect of having sex with a girl b4 u marry her. Urs is late may God deliver u.

I am quite suprised at how women of 21st century reason. U just saw a someone wearing trousers, u called him a man, u quickly follow him and started to have sex with him. Let me tell u, any man dat says he loves u and wants to have sex with u b4 marriage does not truly love u. U can only notice this few months after wedding. I am a man and i know the psychological effect of having sex with a girl b4 u marry her. Urs is late may God deliver u.

That guy is a crook. Marriage with him won't last as it seem. You need to face him with it pronto. Plz come back and tell us in verbertim. Make sure you record its statement. And just be calm. Do it in a public place o so that he wont strangle you.

African women strong sha. Oyibo for don dey fear to near dat kan man. F.uck his money

:/

@OP, you need to be careful ooo

I think the email is not from the guy you are about to marry, but it may be from his former girl in order to cause problem between you and him, i had a similar problem in the past, my former girl were using unknown id to send me emails claiming that she loves me and all kind of romantic emails, i was confused and even my new girl were having problem with me at that time, that i am cheating on her, then i traced the ip address of those emails, i found out that those emails came from Togo, and my former girl was in Togo with my friend, she left me for my Friend and later want to come back after a having a baby boy for that my friend.

Note that she carried wine and water and later discovered the most heavier one between Wine and water.

All these things are mysteries of Women. i bet you that your fellow woman is behind it. Trace the ip address if you can.

Obviously someone has hacked into someone's email. Action speaks louder than imagination.
£20,000 is a lot of money to spend on anything let alone a failed marriage! Don't tell him you saw the message(truth is he probably already knows if he's a nairalander as he'd have seen this thread). Delete it and carry on with your life, but keep snooping around as you might stumble on the truth e.g ex-girlfriend etc. Good luck!

frankhills:

I am quite suprised at how women of 21st century reason. U just saw a someone wearing trousers, u called him a man, u quickly follow him and started to Be Intimate with him. Let me tell u, any man dat says he loves u and wants to Be Intimate with u b4 marriage does not truly love u. U can only notice this few months after wedding. I am a man and i know the psychological effect of Being Intimate with a girl b4 u marry her. Urs is late may God deliver u.

All these xtain fanatics/shrinks have started O. You have brought another dimension to the story. The thing is some shrink are sick themselves but they are too busy curing others to get better that they miss their own meds. What if the lady is the one that wants the intimacy. Does a guy force a lady to partake in intimacy. It just happens, they go with the flow. What you can say, is that it should be done with the senses intact and responsibly.

So how do you relief urself? U look for another girl you wont marry and use her for ur desire right?

@poster, I am not going to sugarcoat, but tell it like it is.

Your man is just trying to figure out if you are the snooping type like his ex so he can dump your ass.You are checking his email, facebook, blackberry, instant messages, twitter (Eni to ba nwa wa kuwa oma ririkuri), your matter reminds me of the scenario of the dog chasing a car, when it catches up to it, what can it do, so what, what can it do. Stop snopping for your own peace of mind and concentrate on being the best you can be for your unborn child and future husband. Ce sera sera, the future is not ours to see.

gul is better you find out what the problem, gud luck

^^^^ @ gamechange
are you serious?
Well she already saw this and it aint pretty
You expect her to throway face?

@op when i read this red flags started flying
First thing that came to my mind was this babe must have money, a lot of money,or property,inheritance whatever?
Do you?
If you do,sorry to break it to you but he might be after your money and might actually want you out of the picture
Some people are very conniving,girl watch your back and you need to trust someone enough to help you reason this out.

I hope I am wrong though
But confronting him now is a no-no a lot of pregnant women end up dead/missing after an "argument" with their partners
Ill say get a p.i if you can afford it And pray woman,ask for your husbands real identity to be revealed

All the best

@ OP


Firstly, what is your business nosing around his em
Now that you've found what you are looking for, show the email to a friend, print it (cos he may change passwords or whatever means by which u accessed his email) and after u have enough to challenge any possible denial from him, confront him and get ready for the worst

The lettert you saw is his ticket away from the relationship
[size=20pt]shine your eyes[/size]

Pls,dn't tell him anytin,he can harm u,jst confide in sum1 close to u n stay away for a while, to crown it all go to D Lord in prayer. It is well.

Poster whatever you do and however much you want to get married now-----DON'T MARRY THIS PERSON UNTIL YOU CLEAR THIS ISSUE!
Many persons here have interesting and intelligent takes and interpretations to what you narrated but none of us may have the right answer to that cunning move of your fiance.

YOU HAVE TO CONFRONT HIM BECAUSE YOU WOULD BE GETTING MARRIED TO HIM IN A COUPLE OF DAYS AND YOU NEED TO BE VERY SURE OF WHO YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED TO.HE COULD BE MARRIED SOMEWHERE AND INTENDS SENDING THAT MAIL TO THE OTHER WOMAN,OR MAYBE SHE JUST HAVE KIDS FOR HIM.
SO YOU REALLY NEED TO TALK ABOUT ALL THAT BECAUSE ITS BETTER LATE THAN NEVER AND IT COULD SAVE YOU A LOT OF  STRESS,TRY NOT THINKING ABOUT THE EMOTIONAL STRESS,CONFRONT HIM COS YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW WHAT THAT'S ALL ABOUT. WISH YOU THE VERY BEST BUT WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK

What is it with people, you'all acting like saints. This woman has not given us anything tangible to suggest anything untoward is about to happen to her, if anything at all, she has painted this guy to be a great catch. This story is nothing more than a guy sowing his wild oats before his D-day. I don't put this kind of behavior past me in my heydays ( nigbati mo wa ni sango ode, when i was in town), as someone earlier alluded to it, my guy is just trying to get laid, finito, capish. if poster confronts and he confirms he was trying to get laid, so what? it does not mean he does not love her, for crying out loud he is still single. Poster stop snopping and get on with your life jare.

i​ think ‎​you shld start making plan to leave dis guy coS he has already planned his escape route u shld do d same.its painful dt ur pregnant.i​ hv dayed a guy like dt tnk God i​ ws smart enuf nt be fooled

Abeg shut up your mouth there, the time wey u open your legd wide for the mugu to enter and gbam gbam you for your wetin-call, you remember NAIRALANDERS?

@OP, I must tell you this no matter how hurting its going to sound, seriously, your fiance is a fraud. There is definitely some other lady in the picture who he's trying to convince not to let him go. I believe the lady may have found out of your pregnancy as well as upcoming wedding thus he's trying hard to get her to believe him that you guys are calling it quit. My advice: CALL OFF THE DAMN WEDDING AND SAVE YOURSELF FROM IMPENDING HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE or even death. This go serve as a lesson to 'sharp' guys wey dey always forget to clear or delete their cache memory and cookies after using the internet.

OP made her decision before she posted this thread and all I can say is may common sense be with you.

Unfortunately, thousands of women will knowingly go into a doomed marriage.

Cuddlemii:

I disagree with you. I think we should be real here so that ladies can learn from this experience. I know the need for love, companionship and marriage. But at the same time lets do the right things at the right time. Do you know its very possible that the op knew he married a white woman just for stay and now wants a naija wife only that he played a fast one on the op too, the law of karma. Ladies go into some pact with guys out of desperation & emotional entanglement. This story could be in several ways.

So leave the transparency aside, how many human beings in this world are transparent? How are we so sure she is telling us how this whole thing happened, what if she left somethings unsaid? Every human being plays several games, but you have to be a scammer to scam a scammer or not get scammed. What was wrong with doing proper investigation on her part? What was wrong with waiting till she gets married before getting pregnant since she knew he has left a lady before so he has the tendencies to screw women over so she should have used protection too(he doesn't need to know after all he is also playing her). There are some love you need to use your brain for abeg, leave the heart aside.

Love, white woman, karma etcetera . . . huh?  Where are those coming from 
I addressed the OP's original post, which presents her problem as the content of the email she read, hence my previous comment reads ''the problem here is transparency . . .''.
Every other details she provided is to drive her point home, and make her predicament more clear to potential advisers and kibitzers.

Back to her original post -

he had set up an email address in my name , impersonated me and composed a letter addressed to himself with me saying i was aware he didnt want want the baby and also suggesting i was breaking up with him, and that we had both gone to an abortion clinic together and that i had decided to have the child on my own and i wont be needing his help or support with the child since i knew he didnt want the baby and i had a good job and would be able to support the child all by myself and i wanted nothing from him

Have you been able to figure out the intent behind the email drama?
Good! So have I, I_am_a_lady and a few others not been able to.
As it is, only I_am_a_man has the answers to many questions, leaving I_am_a_lady in the dark. Here is where non-transparency comes in.

I_am_a_lady is not worried about getting married to a divorcé or being pregnant before marriage- these are not her problems right now, hence the second part of the first line in my previous comment.

Having explained, actually, I have no idea what part of my comment you seem to have a problem with, neither do I truly understand the point of your comment directed at me [as I do not see any correlation btw both posts - yours and mine], but I thought I should explain my previous post better. And I'm afraid that's about all I can do.