Most humans hate snakes. I would do anything to kill any snake I see before asking whether it was a venomous snake or not. Better safe than sorry. I know a lot of you share my stance too. But why then does the bible say we should be wise as serpents? A creature so hated by man.

Despite the hatred man has for snakes, snakes still thrive. Snakes flourish. They’ve learnt the art of moving without being noticed. They’ve learnt the art of not attracting attention to themselves. They reside in places that are difficult for man to access.

We are admonished to learn this wisdom from the snake. There is a time for everything under the sun. Something done before its time may yield an undesired result. People rejoice when a married woman gets pregnant but are not happy when a teenage girl in secondary school gets pregnant.

In the journey to success, in the journey to achieving our dreams, many of us are not patient with ourselves. We don’t want to go through the whole process, especially the very talented ones. The love for money, fame, power, etc. has made a lot of people to go shipwreck. And many there are that will yet experience shipwrecks in their journey.

Attracting something to yourself before time is not wise. Fully ripe and almost ripe are not the same. Wisdom is in knowing what to do per time. Knowing what battles to fight per time. And it is not all battles that you are mature enough to fight. That is why one should not attract undue attention to themselves. Attracting undue attention could mean attracting conflicts that you are not yet fully developed to handle.

If you kick a dog when it is a few days old, it may die, but try kicking a fully grown Doberman or Alsatian dog, you may die. The difference is in development. There are many half-baked people around. Be patient with yourself. Give yourself time to grow. When you go through the process you become well rounded. The appropriate challenges are what comes to you to help you grow.

In my note Living in Crazy-land I said that to develop a muscle you need a little more load than its normal capacity but placing too much load on the muscle will break it.

As I journey through life I come across too many young people that are in a hurry to make it (and please don’t ask me what my definition of “young” is as you might be offended). They won’t sit down to learn from those above them, around them, and below them. Such people are on a self-destruct mode.

As a young writer I have had the opportunity of getting offers that will bring me big publicity, both on television and print media. They are all waiting for my word. I have been hesitant because I know that there is time for everything. With publicity will come its problems. Am I well prepared for the challenges that will come with it? I don’t want to be the artiste whose first album makes great sales, earns him great publicity, then he fades into the shadows, never to be seen or heard again. Or his next album is nothing to write home about.

Saying “No” to good things can sometimes be the best decision of your life. Some people will innocently bring offers to you that will lead to your downfall. Not because that was their intention but because you accepted an offer that you were not mature enough to handle. I know of someone who got an offer from a lady who works with one of the TV stations in Nigeria. She read his notes, fell in love with them and wrote him. She was offering herself to be his publicity personnel. But he tactfully turned down the offer by giving a condition that will not go down well with most people so he can have more time to do what I really loves, which is writing.

I have realized that in this life to be truly successful, to have an enduring success, you must love the job more than the position. Your desire to heal people must be stronger than your desire to be called a Doctor. Your desire to teach must be stronger than your desire to be called a teacher. Your desire to sing must be greater than your desire to be called a singer. Your desire to give must be greater than your desire to be called a philanthropist. Having this paradigm will help you in responding to the noise around you. You are not competing with anybody.

When you are truly in love with the process instead of the destination, it gives you the strength to endure the process. The growth process is not rosy all through. Pain is also a part of the growth process.

Sometime in 2011, at about the same period, I discovered two young ladies with potentials in writing. But I had great love for the one I felt had the greater potential. The few weeks when I gave up writing on Facebook, I even gave her one of my notes to publish in her name. Because even though I had said I will no longer write on Facebook, my love for writing kept me writing. She published the note in her name and got great credits and I was happy for her.

When I started my School for Personal Leadership classes, I sent her an invite but it was her exams period so she could not participate. When registration for the second set started I wrote her again to participate. I, likewise, wrote the second lady who I was not really in close communication with. To my utter amazement the second one who I considered as having the lower potential responded immediately and registered. The one I loved more turned down the invitation without any stated reason.

Weeks later, just as the school commenced, I wrote her to find out why she turned down my invitation without any reason. It was then she told me that she did not have the money. I did not need a prophet to tell me I was not of value to her anymore. And like I do to people who I no longer add value to or who no longer adds value to me, I removed her from my friends list. Sometimes you need to let people go and be successful elsewhere. If you must be around me we must go through the process together. I wrote this note a week after the incident and I am publishing it 5 weeks later, she has not shown any remorse. My speculation was correct. I really was not adding any value to her. While the second one completed the school and is doing excellently well today.

In your growth process stay in touch with those who matter most to you. Those you know add value to you. Sometimes, you will be spanked by your mentors and coaches. When you are, do everything you can to restore communication. Go on your knees if you have to. Roll on the floor if you must. But make sure you restore communication with them. Pruning is part of the process, endure it.

When you turn your back on your mentor or your coach because he or she spanked you, you stunt your growth. I don’t want to go into details of how I was spanked several times and sharply in meetings where my subordinates were. But, today, I am the better for it. Sometimes you must endure shame.

The wisdom of the serpent is to remain hidden and grow until the right time to be seen comes. “Wisdom does not always come with age, sometimes age comes alone.” –John Maxwell.

Mute Efe,
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very interesting read.

Thank you for this message.