He is ready for marriage but wants your opinion because his fiancee is on NYSC and shall finish October.She serves in Imo state in the East while he lives in Ogun. Advice him on what to do.The lady told him she cant cope with separation after marriage.That she want to always be with him after marriage. Please advice this friend.

The girl is buying some time to see if she gets a better option. Other option she is still harvesting in other fields.
Does this man need to be told!! Is marriage in Nigeria done in a day. Someone getting married in October can start now with the formal introductions, registry wedding, traditional etc. So even if he want to get married now, before every arrangement is made some months might have elapsed

mutter:

The girl is buying some time to see if she gets a better option. Other option she is still harvesting in other fields.
Does this man need to be told!! Is marriage in Nigeria done in a day. Someone getting married in October can start now with the formal introductions, registry wedding, traditional etc. So even if he want to get married now, before every arrangement is made some months might have elapsed

This is a totally unfair statement. How many months is service? Her explanation makes sense, it is hard being married and your spouse lives elsewhere, her reason is simple and good. What in all this makes you come up with the fact that she is buying time to get a better option? Na wa oh.
Poster let the man be patient, service is just a year, when she is done she will be more settled, have proper time to plan and settle properly into a married life.

@mutter
he said he was sure she love him and trusts her she can't date another person.that she is faithful because of her very strong christian background. so there is no question of harvesting in other fields.

debrief08:

This is a totally unfair statement.

You beat me to the punch, albeit you put it in a nice way.
These kibitzers on NL ehn! Read and indite the first indiscreet idea that crosses the mind. Tufiakwa!

Topic:
From my point of view, her reason is valid enough.
If you/he waited this long, you/he can wait till October. . .There's really no need to rush things.

I think u should wait,it is just a year.

she said - anyone can say anything.
You asked for advise I have given my own opinion, it may or may not be right - only the devil knows the intent of a man or woman.

We are talking of a seperation of about half a year and they both live in Nigeria.

Mutter, please shut up

@poster
I will do the same If I was in your girls position. Let her finish her Nysc, there isno way she can plan all of these when she is far away from you, a couple should be able to plan their wedding together and not one in the north and the other in the east. You both need to sit down and plan your wedding together and in the same location. She is doing her Nysc rit now and the last thing she needs is distraction, she wants her wedding to be a good one and she needs time to plan it, when she's done with her Nysc she will have the whole time in the world to do it.

She wants to wait till after her NYSC!!!!! and that is a problem for you abi you are afraid that she would cheat on you during the service year or go with another man? it is better you say what is eating you up.

babanne:

He is ready for marriage but wants your opinion because his fiancee is on NYSC and shall finish October.She serves in Imo state in the East while he lives in Ogun. Advice him on what to do.The lady told him she cant cope with separation after marriage.That she want to always be with him after marriage. Please advice this friend.

On the face of it the girl is right. However, knowing the things women do in NYSC especially camp. I would advise your friend to keep his eyes open with the girl. It hurts me that I have to say this but it is what I have witnessed that I am talking about.

He should wait whilst hoping and praying real hard that the girl will not break his heart.

Ifyalways I will shut up and shut down
Is she the first corper to get married?

mutter:

Ifyalways I will shut up and shut down
Is she the first corper to get married?

There is no Ifyalways on this thread.

Sorry padon Jenny. Did I not just read recently that people get both names confused
Must be my homones getting things mixed up today.

jennykadry:

Mutter, please shut up

@poster
I will do the same If I was in your girls position. Let her finish her Nysc, there isno way she can plan all of these when she is far away from you, a couple should be able to plan their wedding together and not one in the north and the other in the east. You both need to sit down and plan your wedding together and in the same location. She is doing her Nysc rit now and the last thing she needs is distraction, she wants her wedding to be a good one and she needs time to plan it, when she's done with her Nysc she will have the whole time in the world to do it.

I like.
@OP, if she's trustworthy, ur friend needs to give her that respect. She must have told him her reasons for wanting it that way.

The girl has a valid reason for not wanting to get married yet. The real question is, why is the guy in such a hurry?

Certainly 1yr is NOT too much to wait for someone you will spend the rest of your life with. Na wah!

Although d gal has valid points I still cnt see why she they can't get married during her NYSC. I am sure this is not a sudden discussion between them.

Marriage during NYSC is nt a crime. Two of my colleagues wedded durin service. Betterstill try a redeployment afta marriage.

anyway gals re unpredictable, u cant rule out totally the fact that she is not buying time to explore other options available to her. when it come to relationship and marriage i don't usually trust that a woman is 100% saint. though she might be right as to distance, but she should equally consider that marriage processes takes some time such that she can allow you to at least see her parents after which other things can follow. that gives you the assurance that she is for you. this is because, a :os we talk now,[b] there is no commitmen[/b]t oo and any thing can happen

OP what are you whining about?duh!

Seriously, I smell fish here. I think the lady wants to keep her options open for a little longer. If i was the man, i'll insist on marriage now and see her reaction.

Though the lady might have valid points, mutter might not be far from the truth as it swings both ways. Depending on what they have discussed prior to this point we are all just taking wild guesses

@ freecocoa
Nice picture and pose

Allow her to finish NYSC and then request for the marriage stuff again then see what will come out from her.

then you can leave her or cling unto her.

E get one bros wey dey burst her speaker and she don't want to let go, not at this moment. Don't worry, she'll be all yours after the speaker don start to dey bring Bass instead of soprano.

Your girl's reason is very ok, dat shows dat she loves you-trust me! But,make sure you occupy her torts evryday by keeping in touch. If U̶̲̥̅̊ are scared then put a ring on dat finger ml I bet you she won't take it off! Turn on ur xtra caring mode now cos d competition will be on whether she gives any guy attention or not!

Just carry ur ghana must go and go to imo

october is just on the floor there---translate to yoruba.

if october is too far to bear, find someone else, not sure its enough reason to find someone else but you choose

I think in all fairness why we cannot advice here is we do not know much about this relationship,I for one am always of the opinion that each needs much communication and flexibility.
The preparation can start now and the date fixed for month of the pop bcz what if she has an uncle who secures her a job in Abuja right after service,will she not also have reasons?
I just dnt get why people do not make it in long distance relationship when ladies leave anambra and most eastern states to delta and ph every week for "runs" as well as come from Enugu and Kano to Abuja and still graduate for the undergrads.
Lets say with my level of exposure I expect life to be about living and not fighting,if she doesnt want it now,relax though her reason is no reason(a friend was transfered same day of his white to northen Nigeria) and see her through by providing the fund or encourage her develop through personal trainings while on service. If for any reason ur not ok with her reasons,move on but it shows for one,you both are actualy not in a relationship as you cannot workout anything without involving people

MeGaStReEt:

E get one bros wey dey burst her speaker and she don't want to let go, not at this moment. Don't worry, she'll be all yours after the speaker don start to dey bring Bass instead of soprano.

Naija na wa!!! Kai!

What is so hard in allowing her finish NYSC? Why are most Nigerians so impatient? or does he want to knock her up first while she serves?