Just as the title refers, I desperately desire your sincere answers/comments/suggestions.

I attended the same university with this babe in question but I don't remember giving her a second look back then, let alone her crossing my mind. But as fate (or karma) would have it, I did give her a second look during our NYSC camp and then my travails started.

Next week will be exactly one year, yes, 365days that she's been playing this game with me and frankly, I don't know if I'm stupid or she's just playing hard to get. Yes she accepts my invite for a date whenever I ask her and she's even invited me over to her family's gathering (naming celebration of her cousin's baby) and yet, I don't know what she has for me.

From our very first date, I've nailed my colours on the mast: "I'm taking you home to my mama, for keeps." However, she did mention that she has a boyfriend (with a casual countenance) but her statements weren't water-tight, as in there were loose ends in her claims, which often gives her off. For example, she asked me if I was older cause she can't date a younger guy. At a point, she said me seeing her again and often depends on me. She's even said she would like to have a large number of guests at her wedding when I said I prefer a less crowded wedding, and many other stuffs.

But she's never gone beyond us being casual friends. My several attempts at going to the next level with her always meet a tactical and soft barricade of excuses. The truth is, I really want to marry this babe but it's over a year now and she's not be firm with me and I'm getting impatient by d hour!

Personally, it seems to me like she's trying to mend her relationship with her present boyfriend who's already anticipating a break-up but she doesn't want to let go of him because she's invested her time in the relationship. Meanwhile, she's keeping me on stand-by just in case.

Peeps, please I need your advice on this one and what should I do? Should I let her go or still continue to persuade her?

it could be what you figured out yourself and it could also be a lot more things.
One thing's certain here though-she likes you!
But,you still have to talk to her.
Ask her questions!about you and
about her!
After all said,if she doesnt make her decision,let her go and walk!

If someone tells you they have a boyfriend and don't seem to be serious about your advances, why are you still going after her? Her telling you she has a boyfriend should even be enough because it means she isn't available. She and her boyfriend are still together, but she has been seeing you. In other words, she has been cheating on him. You said her boyfriend wants to break up with her (since when?), but she doesn't want to to let him go. It would soon be a year and she's still stringing you along, giving you excuses. And you're thinking about marriage when you don't even have a solid relationship with her, if any, at all.

@OP
i cant help but picture you waiting by yourself outside a door, while this gal is inside enjoying her life with her BF. you are what they call a SPARE TIRE!!!

^^^LWKMD

MBJ, what's ur time zone and why are you still awake by this time?

^^ I am 3 hrs behind you, 11.30PM here, the night is VERY young.

@ poster

The girl is playing with you. Nor mind am, she nor serious. She just loves the attention she's getting from you. Nothing more!

MRbrownJAY:

@OP
i cant help but picture you waiting by yourself outside a door, while this gal is inside enjoying her life with her BF. you are what they call a SPARE TIRE!!!

spare tyre get type oo . . shey na the normal one or just walk me home no matter the minutes or hours.

start playing the game back with her. Try to flex around a little with some other girls (make sure she sees you), as we all know it gets to them, this will surely hasten up her response because when a girl realize she's your one and only, she wont hesitate to take you for a long long ride even if she will sucumb later.

Ozegbe:

start playing the game back with her. Try to flex around a little with some other girls (make sure she sees you), as we all know it gets to them, this will surely hasten up her response because when a girl realize she's your one and only, she wont hesitate to take you for a long long ride even if she will sucumb later.

try dat am sure it will bring out something.

she is portraying not to be wayward to you because your interested in marrying her and that's what most girls do to guys that come asking for marriage they wont give you the body.

i bet you check well and you will see that someone is fucking the babe free and when it comes to you she remembers she doesn't need to mess up else you will get what you want and go.

if you love her to marry her then make a formal proposal to her and leave her may be once you stop disturbing her she will turn to you.

wow!!! I have been enlightened.

Ozegbe:

start playing the game back with her. Try to flex around a little with some other girls (make sure she sees you), as we all know it gets to them, this will surely hasten up her response because when a girl realize she's your one and only, she wont hesitate to take you for a long long ride even if she will sucumb later.

@Ozegbe
Noooo, I have even dated and broken up with one girl amidst many side shows within this one year. Of course she doesn't know about any of that as i'm trying to cut down on my excesses and flexing; just for her.


I think her not perceiving me as a wayward person as opined by "CarlosVent" gives her the assurance that i'll always be around, giving her all the attention in the world. Maybe i should just do what a man has to do. abi

*what exactly do ladies want gaan sef?*

Op, u have been running after a babe for over a yr and still no green light, your aka should be 'mr i dey look'. Pls free the babe, dont waste your time on empty well. Lots of good girls around if u dig enough.

leave her. . . she wants to eat her cake n have it

U are just are second choice leave her alone

Adetayo100:

U are just are second choice leave her alone

kpolli:

leave her. . . she wants to eat her cake n have it

Tough love!!

seedord247:

spare tyre get type oo . . shey na the normal one or just walk me home no matter the minutes or hours.

this type of spare tyre is more like the ones that are labeled:" for use in case of emergency"

Kai! I don suffer!!!

Anyways, so I pulled d plug on the whole farce yesterday evening. She later called multiple times but I didn't want to talk (to her) again, well at least for now,

@op
See, there you have it. She's come back for you. I'm certain of that, she'll surely come back.

wat silly plug did u pull? Real men dnt chase ladies more than 2 or 3months atmost! Wat were u tinkin? Nor be yansh wey full everywhere? Na u dey wait for one yansh for a whole one year? Shioooooooooo

you are silly and slow! She likes you, u probably love her. Shez comparing, sell urself. Make her see reason why she shd choose u and not the other guy. And pick ur calls dude!

@boyloaf, ur defination of real men is the nigerdelta militant! 2 or 3 mths? Where dem teach u dat one?

I think she likes you well enough to date or marry you; evident by the fact that she goes out on dates with you and invites you out to family outings. BUT for now you're just a spare tyre most probably because you're not financially capable of giving her what she wants: Marraige and comfort. After NYSC that's the next thing ladies want; even 2nd to a job sef. Anyways I bet my life on it that if hook up a great job and now become promising on that whole package level she'll be yours for the asking anyday anytime 24-7.

Goodluck!

@boyloaf
U probably just finished from high school with plenty of testosterone to burn, so relax will you.

@Sigmunfreud & trae_z
We've gone out severally, she's browsed thru d contents of my fone (on d first date) just so to know my kinda friends, what I'm like and my person generally. I remember her asking to talk to my friend when she heard his voice in the background. So I guess if she didn't like what she saw, she probably won't have honoured d succeeding dates (I might be wrong).

My financial status and job is not the ideal but I know millions of my peer will desire a quarter of what I earn, which will suffice in naija anyway despite the harsh economic atmosphere. So if she's waiting for me to become a multi-millionaire or a billionaire as is commonly used now, then she's not being realistic and a sharp contrast to whom I really think she is.  Besides, my present don't determine my prospects and I assume that she can comprehend that.

Girls and unrealistic fantasies. hmm

She's been calling now or should I say flash. Seen a couple of her missed calls on my phone.

If she's serious, she'll send a sms. Abi?

.h

@NOIBMUUL or LuUmBiOn2
I believe you're the same person with reverse letters as your ID,

Anyways, like MrBrownJay said, you're what we girls would call a backup. Some girls keep one or more in case the original and preferred choice does not work out. But bear in mind that even if she comes to you (meaning #1 didn't work out) you'll forever remain her #2 guy. If you do get married, she'll always tell her friends and family and maybe your kids of the first guy she was supposed to marry and the first guy she loved and the first guy this and that, You will never be first in her life boo. When push comes to shove, she will eventually settle for you but will never 100% commit, which could later lead to problems in the relationship. I believe one of the heartbreaking things that can happen to a human being is someone settling for him/her. Ignore her calls and move on. She's probably realizing that she's about to lose both her man and her backup and now panicking.

Poster, one year is too long for you to know whether a gurl likes/loves you. She has made the handwriting on the wall clear enough for you to fathom but you are turning a blind eye. To her you are gonzalo Higuain while her boyfriend is Karim Benzima! In madrid, Benzima is always the first choice striker who is prefered by Mourinho nomatter what. Stop wasting your time as a second fiddle. Look for another club where you will be a first choice striker.

This is serious.

Bro, girls are deuces.