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How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! by Nobody: 5:05am On Feb 15, 2012
Do you work weekends? What is your husbands work schedule like? Does your husband know how to cook? If not teach him
Re: How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! by Nobody: 6:38am On Feb 15, 2012
Re: How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! by baby6: 8:44am On Feb 15, 2012
@ op, get a washing machine, so u forget about washing.
if it is u and ur husband consider sweeping once in a week.( grin no time)
cooking, eat out or cook light in the evening.
moreover, learn to multi task, so when the children start coming things willl be easy.
e.g if i want to eat beans, i wake by 5am half boil and it and finish the cooking when i come back.
my weekend is much lighter.
i had the same issue, but i learnt the tricks of food time table and time management.
good luck kiss

1 Like

Re: How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! by mutter(f): 8:45am On Feb 15, 2012
c.four- Contrary to what queensmith believes, it is possible to be raised by parents to be competent in both fields. Certainly you can never give 100% both ways but you can certainly make both function.
My father raised me to be career orientated, he was not the kind of man that could tolerate failure. But he also emphasised the need to be able to take care of ones self. As long as you cannot cook you will always eat low quality food, no matter how rich you are, because you can never guarantee how the food is prepared. He even used to wake us up at 4 in the morning to go to the farm, while I was an undergraduate. he had this hobby farm and then it pissed me off, but today I realise that he did it in our interest.
c.four i worked many years full time and it did function and that with kids.  At the moment I just work part- time because I have a little baby, but as he gets older I shall increase my hours.
As I mentioned needs to be organised. If you learn to tidy up after yourself and get others to do the same it is not much work. You can spend hours cleaning but it brings little if it`s all going to be messed up immediately after. I also raise my kids to be competent in household chores and believe you me they still have time for their schoolwork, hobbies and all other activities.

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Re: How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! by tessybaby(f): 9:07am On Feb 15, 2012
The key word is PLANNING

I had a similar problem when i just got married
i was leaving with my junior brother who could not do
anything concerning cooking

all i did was plan on time what i have to cook and when
i cooked food enuf for 2days
that means i have to rest for a day without cooking
my brother helped with the dishes
but i had to do the pots
today it's a different story with an 18 months old and
another baby on the way
i go to bed very tired
but am used to it now.
Re: How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! by enkoby: 10:13am On Feb 15, 2012
I also have similar experience with poster. for now, its just myself and my husband although we are expecting a baby in about 3 months. I go to work early and come back very late. My husband is not domesticated at all cos he grew up in the midst of 5 girls in a family of 9, so he cant do anything. he has pleaded with me several times to quit work that he will be paying me my full salary but i refused cos i need to build a career for myself, after spending 6 solid years in school. anyway, bottomline is that we have agreed to get a househelp after he realised that i wasnt ready to be a housewife. in the meantime, i make soup, stew, beans and yam, and sauce over the weekend, so when i get back from work during the week i simply make garri, or biol rice or boil spaghetti or boil yam and viola, dinner is ready. and since we are both adults, i sweep only on saturdays or sundays. and honestly, i prefer to go through this stress rather than staying at home doing housewife job. . . thats a no no for me.

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Re: How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! by Nobody: 10:29am On Feb 15, 2012
You dont have to cope. Get a domestic staff. In life, there is no room for complacency, learn to delegate responsibilities and not do all. Life is too short.

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Re: How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! by Nobody: 10:36am On Feb 15, 2012
The best thing is to get someone come in on weekends to do major stuff like washing, scrubbing the kitchen bathroom etc. So u can have "me" time. The ones u do by urself try to c them as fun. Its not like ur doing it for another person its YOUR HOME!!! All meals should be planned ahead. When u give birth u will find it harder cos u will do the normal things after having slept for just half the time u sleep now. In the meantime try to make ur husband more domestic, its vital.


However, Mutter is so right oh! Its bout TIME management and not making a mess. Cos as a single girl I had to keep the house neat with 3 vivacious boys, I wld make breakfast for everyone at home.

Now I'm married and I have a baby who just started creche on monday. Its stressfull but its the reality of life. My husband helps change daipers n burps her after I've fed her but I am used to doing things myself.I don't want a maid yet cos the stories are scary n my baby is really tiny.

If u get a maid n u overwork her she will certainly start misbehaving.

(Sorry for the long post)

1 Like

Re: How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! by ifyalways(f): 10:36am On Feb 15, 2012
No child yet and things are like this ?You close by 6pm and give or take get back by 8pm at most and still cant get it right?
Sorry but I gotta believe you did not get it right even as a single lady . . .   undecided

Soup for just 2 people takes a whole weekend?You using charcoal or firewood ?

Sis,I believe you have atleast 2 burners or stoves,You can spend at most 3 hours in the kitchen to make 3 soups and a stew on staurday.
Dedicate the first or last saturday of the month for your foodstuff shopping.Buy everything you need in bulk eg Meat,unripe plantain,yam,rice,garri etc
On saturdays you wake early and start your cooking while hubby attends to laundry.You can prepare your vegetable soup,egusi,okra and stew,and still step out of the kitchen by 12pm.
Alternate the consumption of the soups to make it fresh eg egusi today,vegetable morrow.

House cleaning should be done together too.

2 Likes

Re: How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! by ADOGBEYI: 10:44am On Feb 15, 2012
1. Buy foodstuffs in bulk and store in your freezer so that your trip to the market will be like twice a month
2. cook you soup and stew on saturday, try waking up really early. Hopefully you can rest in the evening and make your hair on sunday. grin
3. teach your husband (in love) how to take care of some things like assisting in clearing the table and washing his plates and even defrosting the food before you get home.
4. you can get a weekend househelp as well.

1 Like

Re: How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! by sexybash(f): 10:47am On Feb 15, 2012
Hi
at times like these that when you know its not all about marriage, marry your freind if your husband is your freind you guys are not supoose to talk about this at all, any waqy i wish you luck and hope he understand and does not make meaning out of this
Re: How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! by kazlaw2000: 10:51am On Feb 15, 2012
Going by what I understand about the duties of a wife according to Islaam, I will NEVER subscribe to this idea of 'career ladies'. It can only lead to various matrimonial problems i.e infidelity, child(ren) neglect, child(ren) abuse (by house helps, strangers etc). It can also lead to a disconnect between the husband and the wife.
Sincerely, I don't see any realistic way out of your current plight unless you get a house-help, but you must be ready for the possible consequences of such an action.

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Re: How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! by queensmith: 10:53am On Feb 15, 2012
^^ *vomits*

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Re: How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! by Dyt(f): 10:55am On Feb 15, 2012
mayb m used 2 it
bt i do everyth on wkend
nt married tho
bt wyl cookin he does d laundry, we both exchange one thing 4 oda
ur hubby shld nt jst sit lazyin arnd, he nids get his assss up
dats y u partners
u shldnt even tell him b4 he helps

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Re: How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! by Esiere: 10:56am On Feb 15, 2012
REAL PROBLEM NOBODY IS ADDRESSING IS DISTANCE. TRY TO RELOCATE TO A BETTER PLACE FOR D 2 OF U. ALSO BE OF MUCH help to each other in d chicken

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Re: How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! by Nobody: 10:58am On Feb 15, 2012
@ Poster

I really dont see why things should be that different since its just you and your hubby for now. The truth is that your life now should not be that much different from when you were still single. The things you do now are the things you did as a spinster (except you lived with your parents all your life)  undecided
Re: How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! by Ninapha(f): 11:04am On Feb 15, 2012
OP

As much as i know its not easy but i think its too early to complain except if you grew up where maids do everything for u.  I suppose u more like live in a flat maybe with running tap.

All u need to do is to sit down and work out how to run ur home chores.

decide chores to be done in the morning and those to be done in the evening and remember make sure the kitchen is fixed each night before going to bed so that u only wake up to fix food for the morning.

make long cooking foods during weekends eg. stew and soups.

stock items necessary for fast food to help u.  U can even shop on friday during break period so that u can start early on Saturdays.
Re: How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! by gempo(m): 11:05am On Feb 15, 2012
I always pray and currently working hard so that i will be in a position financially where by my wife can decide to quit her job even if it is temporary or starting up something that won't take her time so as to enable her raise the kids and keep the home running smoothly. I can tell you it is not easy being a working class parents and raising a family especially in states like lagos and cities like portharcourt. It is very important raising your kids yourself and growing up with them.
Re: How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! by AjanleKoko: 11:09am On Feb 15, 2012
The solution is for women to stay single grin

Seriously, there's no solution. I wonder what OP will do when the kids come. I guess the husband can help out sha, but it's still the woman's primary responsibility. You can get a maid or something.
Re: How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! by addey(m): 11:11am On Feb 15, 2012
tell ur husband to get u the following

1 washing machine for cloth
2 Dish washing machine
3 Vacuum cleaner
4 Big refrigerator for food
5 He need to help u in some area or better still a house Boy

1 Like

Re: How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! by yme1(f): 11:11am On Feb 15, 2012
Ujujoan:

@ Poster

I really dont see why things should be that different since its just you and your hubby for now. The truth is that your life now should not be that much different from when you were still single. The things you do now are the things you did as a spinster (except you lived with your parents all your life)  undecided
If she lived with her parents all her single hood i swear she will know how to tackle this well except the parents does all the chores
Cause i can tell when i was living with my parents it was like being married with kids to cater for,  cooking, cleaning etc  cheesy. The chores were just a killer most of the time 

@op
you have to work things out, if you can't cope without kids now then you will have to quit your job when the kids start rolling in.
Re: How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! by queensmith: 11:13am On Feb 15, 2012
Ujujoan:

@ Poster

I really dont see why things should be that different since its just you and your hubby for now. The truth is that your life now should not be that much different from when you were still single. The things you do now are the things you did as a spinster (except you lived with your parents all your life)  undecided

you can forgo doing certain things if it's just you.  if your fully caring for someone else you probably cant.
AjanleKoko:

The solution is for women to stay single grin

Seriously, there's no solution. I wonder what OP will do when the kids come. I guess the husband can help out sha, [b]but it's still the woman's primary responsibility. [/b]You can get a maid or something.

*vomit* what utter bultrash- is this in the Nigerian constitution or something? Where did you read such nonsense?

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Re: How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! by chiama1: 11:15am On Feb 15, 2012
My sister, my case is similar to yours but more hectic. I have 2kids, pregnant with the 3rd, I live and work in Lagos, resume work at 8am as a P.A and dont close from work till 6:30-7:00pm, drive for atleast 2 hour to get home to my 2 warriors and husband, all tired.

currently i am sourcing for a househelp and so i have a whole lot to handle. However, i am blessed to have a husband that helps out in the house (when he feels like), but am still grateful. my kids are hyperactive and wont stay away from me. i shed tears of frustration sometimes.

lately, i have started considering resigning from my job and focusing on my family and business but i want to wait until the baby comes.

I will also advise that you use ur weekend for preparing different types of food and refridgerate them, this is what i do and it helps.  

you have not seen anything yet, wait until  kids start coming. smiley

2 Likes

Re: How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! by Baawaa(m): 11:19am On Feb 15, 2012
That means you are lazy,no kids for now as you said just for you to go to office and do domestic chores you are complaining.Is better you adjust yourself now so that the complain will not much when kids comes-in  grin grin
Re: How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! by laCapri: 11:25am On Feb 15, 2012
Even if u get a house help make sure u do the cooking yourself, or else she becomes a second wife
Re: How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! by Nobody: 11:25am On Feb 15, 2012
While this may seem rather away from popular opinion, I feel I must just say it. The thing is, "Why marry?"
Did you think you'd be able to combine the work of a regular home wife and that of a white-collar lady? Aren't there greater chances of failing at either one? The deal is to always choose one thing and stick with it. To want the best of both worlds suggest there is something intimately wrong with your decisions as a woman.
Don't get it wrong, baby. I'm not recommending staying a dormant, clueless housewife. On the contrary, I recommend going out, getting a job and busying yourself. But why not find an acceptable way to combine such an engagement with romantic life? What stops such white-collar, careerlady from engaging in some sort of "partnership" with a man of open mind, who would be romantically available while giving you the freedom you desire to practice your profession?
Now, am not saying become a sugar mummy, though it's quite apparent this could be totally misunderstood. Rather I enjoin you to examine the relationship between Oprah & her man, Merkel & her man, Rice & her man, and draw one or two straws from that! undecided
Re: How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! by AjanleKoko: 11:26am On Feb 15, 2012
queensmith:

*vomit*  what utter bultrash- is this in the Nigerian constitution or something? Where did you read such nonsense?

I didn't read anything anywhere. It's the woman's job to cook and do the kitchen stuff, and take care of the kids. It's the GASM (generally-acceptable societal norm).

I do all the heavy stuff in the house; general cleaning and sanitation, keeping my yard tidy, ensuring that power and water remains constant in the house, waste disposal, all repairs (DIY and outsourced). I don't touch the kitchen stuff, unless I need to make an ad-hoc meal. My wife does all that, including grocery shopping.
Mind you, she is a career woman that does a lot of travelling within and outside Naija. And she still finds the time.

1 Like

Re: How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! by lahips: 11:27am On Feb 15, 2012
......
Re: How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! by zerocool(m): 11:32am On Feb 15, 2012
Simple truth is, most career women don't do house chores. They have maid(s).
Re: How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! by Baawaa(m): 11:33am On Feb 15, 2012
I also have similar experience with poster. for now, its just myself and my husband although we are expecting a baby in about 3 months. I go to work early and come back very late. My husband is not domesticated at all cos he grew up in the midst of 5 girls in a family of 9, so he cant do anything. he has pleaded with me several times to quit work that he will be paying me my full salary but i refused cos i need to build a career for myself, after spending 6 solid years in school. anyway, bottomline is that we have agreed to get a househelp after he realised that i wasnt ready to be a housewife. in the meantime, i make soup, stew, beans and yam, and sauce over the weekend, so when i get back from work during the week i simply make garri, or biol rice or boil spaghetti or boil yam and viola, dinner is ready. and since we are both adults, i sweep only on saturdays or sundays. and honestly, i prefer to go through this stress rather than staying at home doing housewife job. . . thats a no no for me.

You are better than the poster of this topic grin grin
Re: How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! by lahips: 11:35am On Feb 15, 2012
....

1 Like

Re: How Do Career Women Cope With Domestic Chores? - Help! by Nobody: 11:44am On Feb 15, 2012
zerocool:

Simple truth is, most career women don't do house chores. They have maid(s).

Wrong! Not when there are no kids yet . . . .

queensmith:

you can forgo doing certain things if it's just you. if your fully caring for someone else you probably cant.*vomit* what utter bultrash- is this in the Nigerian constitution or something? Where did you read such nonsense?

If it's just you and your hubby you can also forgo doing some things!

Me, I was born lazy so trust me, I know how to 'forgo' . . . if hubby doesn't like it, he does it himself. There's no rule that says the woman had to do everything! undecided

y me:

If she lived with her parents all her single hood i swear she will know how to tackle this well except the parents does all the chores
Cause i can tell when i was living with my parents it was like being married with kids to cater for, cooking, cleaning etc cheesy. The chores were just a killer most of the time

@op
you have to work things out, if you can't cope without kids now then you will have to quit your job when the kids start rolling in.

When you are living with your parent, the reponsibilities are shared. You dont have to think about EVERYTHING . . . unlike when you are living on your own!

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