abeg the thing funny Die, i think i've seen it before too but it still got me cracking

Element G: Nice one @ poster.. Really got me ROTFLMAO

seriously, girl u dnt av a lyf... I think ur guts are ruined nd its y there aint no thread started by ya.. Bad belle shit lyk u always givin bad comments lyk one dog dat was given chloroquine... Got nothing gud to say, shut up, read, nd pass by instead of dropping dat useless watery crap u call saliva.. Na even ur type dem dey give those kind craze replies.. ODE

come oh, u dis crazy attention seeker, wat d phuck is ur problem. Are u stupidd or something??
I'm tryna tell d mods to put it back in romance where it came from, they'll probably enjoy d joke there since its a new one there, unlike here where its been posted countless times and it would only evoke insult for d poster, that is if u know how jokes section is.
Buh u read my post, then foolishly opened ur godforsaken mouth to hurl insult at me urself.
If u gat a problem with me, then go deal with it, or better still go kiss a female mamba.
Are u now happy i honoured u with a reply?? Damn arrsehole.

swtdarling: A friend of mine posted this.thought i should share
1. Someone calls you at 2am and asks,"Are you
sleeping?
Ans: "No! I'm picking beans."
2. When its raining and someone notice you going
out yet they ask, are you going out in this rain? Ans: "No! In the next one."
3. You are making out with your girlfriend then you
start pulling her panties then she asks; what are you
trying to do?
Ans: "I want to wash it for u."
4. They see you coming out of the bathroom wet, yet they ask, "Did you just have a bath?"
Ans: "No, i fell into the toilet bowl."
5. You're standing in front of the elevator on the
ground floor going to your office, yet they ask, "Are
you going up?"
Ans: "No, i'm waiting for my Office to come down and get me."
6. Your boyfriend comes home with a bunch of
flowers, and you still ask, "Are those flowers?
Ans: "No baby, they're carrots!"
7. You are in the toilet and lock the door and
someone knocks, asking, "Is anyone there?" Ans: "No! Na shit LOCK DOOR, "
Mtsheeeeeeew!!
8. You are in a queue at the cinema to buy ticket, a
friend saw you and asked, "What are you doing
here?"
Ans: "I'm here to pay my school fees, " ODE!! 9. When they see you lying down with your eyes
closed and they still ask, are you sleeping??
Ans: "No, i'm training to DIE, " MUMU!!!!!!:

LMFAO ..... REALLY FUNNY