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My Husband Does Not Want Me To Work - Family (6) - Nairaland

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Re: My Husband Does Not Want Me To Work by sandiyke(f): 3:44am On Feb 26, 2012
My dear, growin up, we all had dreams nd aspirasions. wat was urs?Dat aside, if u sty at hom,in ten yrs to com wen u c dose u started wit nd was actualy beta dan at d heights dey ve attaind,i bet u somtin insideof u wil drop in regret. Thirdly, wil ur dad b happy wit wat u wil become afta al he has spent? pls my advice,work out a plan on how u wld score at least a pass mark in both ur career nd homemakin.make sure its convincin.beg him to take a chance on u.u must enforce self discipline so as nt to fail.
Re: My Husband Does Not Want Me To Work by Nobody: 6:37am On Feb 26, 2012
@Poster,you know what?
Some women here are so bad that their husbands do not care about them any longer,so they don't have choice than to marry their job and claim feminine superiority,and like i said, most of their husbands dont give them money ever again cos they work and compete with him, they can't be working and their husbands giving them more money,hardly will you see men do such,its like they are cheating him.For example,a 1500 salary earner per month in Uk,will never give his wife extra money if she works,yet she does not give him fresh meal or at all,the kids are with the minder almost half aday after school or full day if not in school, no parental care,later they become menace to society-from one prison to another prison, house dirty all the time,husbands picks up his own laundry to machine to wash,he pays the bill,little sex or no sex at all, arguements set in,then the marriage becomes like a deserted dilapidated building.@Poster,once again,if you know your husband support your upkeep,and gives you finances,that should be ok for you,you can as well tell him to set up a business for you,you dnt have to manage it,but just be the director,cash will be coming in for you,and if you want to manage it yourself,learn about business.

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Re: My Husband Does Not Want Me To Work by XX01(f): 8:08am On Feb 26, 2012
Thank you for the good, the bad and the ugly replies.
If there is anyway I have made it seem like I disrespect my MIL, it is not so. I have the utmost respect and regards for her. She is a lovely woman and her kids do not joke with her at all. My own mum is late so she is the only mum I have.
I have actually been married for 4 years. The first year, I went for my masters which my husband paid for in its entirety even to his detriment though my undergrad was on scholarship.

We had several miscarriages that was why when that one took hold, we were very careful and I had to resign when it was getting too much.

I have listened to your suggestions. Thank you. We will discuss further and reach an agreement.
Re: My Husband Does Not Want Me To Work by moremi2008(m): 10:33am On Feb 26, 2012
XX01:

Thank you for the good, the bad and the ugly replies.
If there is anyway I have made it seem like I disrespect my MIL, it is not so. I have the utmost respect and regards for her. She is a lovely woman and her kids do not joke with her at all. My own mum is late so she is the only mum I have.
I have actually been married for 4 years. The first year, I went for my masters which my husband paid for in its entirety even to his detriment though my undergrad was on scholarship.

We had several miscarriages that was why when that one took hold, we were very careful and I had to resign when it was getting too much.

I have listened to your suggestions. Thank you. We will discuss further and reach an agreement.

Please, don't become a housewife. The decisions we make in the luxury of today's circumstance might turn out to be disastrous tomorrow. My Mum made TERRIBLE decisions as a young bride because she had unfounded assumptions about the future. The only thing she ultimately fell back on was her job and her God. Nobody knows tomorrow. Besides, you have spent so much money on your education; it would be truly foolish to keep your certificates under your bed.

I would be a bit careful with the consulting job though (please do your due-diligence and figure out what the demands are). I am guessing you'll be working for the Lagos offices of Accenture, KPMG or PWC. Those jobs are not easy jobs; they are often stressful and involve long hours. Many mothers of young children find the jobs stressful (I know this because my cousin's wife is about to quit her job at one of these firms because she has a young child). They probably both have decent creches but I am not sure how well that will sit with your husband. There might be less stressful jobs out there if you wouldn't mind continuing the job search. Good luck. May God grant you the wisdom and strength to make the right decision for your future and for the future of your children.
Re: My Husband Does Not Want Me To Work by taryour(f): 12:21pm On Feb 26, 2012
XX01:

Thank you for the good, the bad and the ugly replies.
If there is anyway I have made it seem like I disrespect my MIL, it is not so. I have the utmost respect and regards for her. She is a lovely woman and her kids do not joke with her at all. My own mum is late so she is the only mum I have.
I have actually been married for 4 years. The first year, I went for my masters which my husband paid for in its entirety even to his detriment though my undergrad was on scholarship.

We had several miscarriages that was why when that one took hold, we were very careful and I had to resign when it was getting too much.

I have listened to your suggestions. Thank you. We will discuss further and reach an agreement.
shocked
@op, i have been following this post and have refused to reply but now i must
1st your husband paid for your masters,dont you think he did that because he wanted you to work with it or you think he just waisted it.
2nd you have been married for 4years with misscariages.
3rdly you were sick and on best rest while pregnant due to tress from work befor you eventualy had a baby. Thank God for you.


Now your husband wants you to stop working and you dont like it. You beta thank your stars that you have a caring huasbands cause some husbands wunt think of all the pain you have gone tru before being blessesd with your boundle of joy(your baby). Have you also tought of it that your hubby asked you to stop workin to save you all the stess of work,and the pain of have other misscariages. Or do want to have only one child in your life? Your husband loves you and your child thats why he wants a stress free life for you. D way you have put it,your hubby is financialy ok to set you up in a lucrative buisness and get you a car so you can go out and visit friends when you are board in you shop. All you need to do have a talk with your hubby and it is done.the nine month course of pregnancy and the labour pain is the joy and pride of any woman. So giving up ur job and starting a buisnes to raise your kids in the proper way is no big deal at all. Goodluck

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Re: My Husband Does Not Want Me To Work by derato: 12:32pm On Feb 26, 2012
WIves submit to ur husband dats what the bible says.just listen to what ur husband says but wen ur baby grows older, to get a shop n stock thngs is not a bad idea,u can do that atleast it wil stil give u time to care for ur children instead of doing the bank work dat wil take all ur time.
Re: My Husband Does Not Want Me To Work by oohunt: 1:34pm On Feb 26, 2012
@OP,

Your last post contains a bit more information than your first post. Sorry to hear about your mum.

I don't think your problem is that your husband wants you stop working because I think we both know that from your history, it would be the "wise" decision to put your health first. Your issue is that you don't want to answer housewife.

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Re: My Husband Does Not Want Me To Work by queensmith: 2:24pm On Feb 26, 2012
^^erm the baby is already born, and grown?

lmao at uplawals post! do you hate us so?

actually theres evidence to prove children of working parents do better in society than those with jobless ones.

2 working parents will bring in a larger income- which in its own way benefits the child positively and influences them towards better choices.

theres nothing to prove a woman sitting at home with a child is doing so for greater purposes, If a man can do without spending soo much time with his child then why cant the woman? Please lets not use futile excuses to be jobless.
Re: My Husband Does Not Want Me To Work by Nobody: 2:33pm On Feb 26, 2012
XX01:

Thank you for the good, the bad and the ugly replies.
If there is anyway I have made it seem like I disrespect my MIL, it is not so. I have the utmost respect and regards for her. She is a lovely woman and her kids do not joke with her at all. My own mum is late so she is the only mum I have.
I have actually been married for 4 years. The first year, I went for my masters which my husband paid for in its entirety even to his detriment though my undergrad was on scholarship.

We had several miscarriages that was why when that one took hold, we were very careful and I had to resign when it was getting too much.

I have listened to your suggestions. Thank you. We will discuss further and reach an agreement.


Your hubby paid for your masters?
You had several miscarriages?
You do not appear to know what you have got!
Some women are not very strong during pregnancy so they do not need to do any stress in order to carry the pregnancy to fruition.
As I posted before your husband loves you but I am not sure you love yourself.
You are free to keep listening to the internet Nigerians,but I think you know the truth.
GOOD LUCK!!!

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Re: My Husband Does Not Want Me To Work by taryour(f): 3:05pm On Feb 26, 2012
Richvkunt:


Your hubby paid for your masters?
You had several miscarriages?
You do not appear to know what you have got!
Some women are not very strong during pregnancy so they do not need to do any stress in order to carry the pregnancy to fruition.
As I posted before your husband loves you but I am not sure you love yourself.
You are free to keep listening to the internet Nigerians,but I think you know the truth.
GOOD LUCK!!!

GBAM!!!!! ododo oro.
Re: My Husband Does Not Want Me To Work by Nobody: 3:48pm On Feb 26, 2012
XX01:

Thank you for the good, the bad and the ugly replies.
If there is anyway I have made it seem like I disrespect my MIL, it is not so. I have the utmost respect and regards for her. She is a lovely woman and her kids do not joke with her at all. My own mum is late so she is the only mum I have.
I have actually been married for 4 years. The first year, I went for my masters which my husband paid for in its entirety even to his detriment though my undergrad was on scholarship.

We had several miscarriages that was why when that one took hold, we were very careful and I had to resign when it was getting too much.

I have listened to your suggestions. Thank you. We will discuss further and reach an agreement.

Please get a job. If staying at home was the right thing to do, you wouldn't be here asking for advise, you know it's not right hence your starting this thread in the first place. Every woman needs her own security. No young able bodied woman should be idle, I was on 4 weeks leave last year and believe me I almost went crazy, it was like my IQ was dropping drastically, I could not imagine staying at home all day and doing nothing. A lot of women work not to support their husbands but to be intellectually occupied and challenged.

No one is wishing your husband evil(GOD FORBID) but if anything happens, you are on your own without any source of income, if anything happens both of you will give up your life of luxury because you cannot keep up. For the sake of your family andchild get a job, that way there are two incomes coming in from diff places


PS do not listen to uplawal. I doubt if she ever finished primary 5, her English is enough proof. Infact she got to the UK not by air but by water i.e she was shipped like the refugee she really is. She has no career cos no woman who went through the four walls of a university will have such an upside down command of English and that is the reason why she supports you staying at home. I am not perfect either but come onnnnnnn undecided

I am still waiting for her daft self to answer my questions.
Re: My Husband Does Not Want Me To Work by Nobody: 5:08pm On Feb 26, 2012
XX01:

Thank you for the good, the bad and the ugly replies.
If there is anyway I have made it seem like I disrespect my MIL, it is not so. I have the utmost respect and regards for her. She is a lovely woman and her kids do not joke with her at all. My own mum is late so she is the only mum I have.
I have actually been married for 4 years. The first year, I went for my masters which my husband paid for in its entirety even to his detriment though my undergrad was on scholarship.

We had several miscarriages that was why when that one took hold, we were very careful and I had to resign when it was getting too much.

I have listened to your suggestions. Thank you. We will discuss further and reach an agreement.

Hello OP. Based on this post I wonder if your hubby’s real concern is for your reproductive health due to the health problems you have faced in the past. Is he just using the raising of the child as an excuse for a deeper concern for your health? I don’t know, but if he paid for your masters (without guile or ulterior motives) then he probably did not plan for you to be a housewife from the start. Something has changed his mind, you both need to explore it together. Get a (good) doctor’s opinion if you need to. Maybe staying home as you quickly complete your family is an option. Whatever the case, it is a decision you both need to come to together, not one that is forced upon you. I still don’t think you should forever retire and become a housewife though.

@ Uplawal. Do you have any research evidence to back up your claim that children in a 2 working parent household who go to a childminder/daycare turn out to be menaces to society and go from prison to prison?
Re: My Husband Does Not Want Me To Work by Claracuzio: 5:55pm On Feb 26, 2012
Women are just too stupid!
Why can't women just be loyal to their husbands?
Afterall thhey took the vow at the alter.
If u think his idea is stupid then file a divorce.
Stupid bitches
Re: My Husband Does Not Want Me To Work by Nobody: 6:04pm On Feb 26, 2012
Claracuzio:

Women are just too silly!
Why can't women just be loyal to their husbands?
Afterall thhey took the vow at the alter.
If u think his idea is silly then file a divorce.
silly bitches

Please define loyal.

Also specify the vow at the *altar* which permits a husband to forcefully turn his wife into a housewife against her will.

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Re: My Husband Does Not Want Me To Work by Nobody: 6:49pm On Feb 26, 2012
@Jennykadry Amebo as your signature implies,you have successfully destroyed many ignorant women on nairaland through your evil advices and you act like you know all,its you that knows half baked educated woman/ or not at all,honestly you always sound like a a senseless immature idiot whenever you act this way,why derive joy in acting just like a real mad woman,when you can channel your energy to sane thing,may be you thinking all those rubbish you wrote upthere would put Uplawal down or would make you think you made a point,you can go on and on and on,av seen and met many like you and its nothing new,so get a life and stop being miserable all the time on nairaland,nobody sees you here.And from the way you write like a weird woman ,i bet you, no man on nairaland would want someone like you close to their wives even if its for one seconds cos you are a deadly virus,with all these attitude of yours,pls what legacy are you giving your kids?if they don't have a mind of their own,they just become miserable like you. All you could turn up to is to say what you have no knowledge of,education, uk entry bla bla bla,i want you to pls point out the flaws in my writtings.

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Re: My Husband Does Not Want Me To Work by oohunt: 8:15pm On Feb 26, 2012
queensmith:

^^erm the baby is already born, and grown?

Whoa if queensmith can make a reference to a statement without **vomitting**, it's indeed a good day. Lol.

I know the "baby" is grown but I think the OP would understand where I'm coming from.

One big mistake we make in this generation is living your life to impress others. When you are over that, then you will truly move on with what you are meant to do in this life.
Re: My Husband Does Not Want Me To Work by agiboma(f): 8:22pm On Feb 26, 2012
uplawal:

@Jennykadry Amebo as your signature implies,you have successfully destroyed many ignorant women on nairaland through your evil advices and you act like you know all,its you that knows half baked educated woman/ or not at all,honestly you always sound like a a senseless immature whenever you act this way,why derive joy in acting just like a real mad woman,when you can channel your energy to sane thing,may be you thinking all those rubbish you wrote upthere would put Uplawal down or would make you think you made a point,you can go on and on and on,av seen and met many like you and its nothing new,so get a life and stop being miserable all the time on nairaland,nobody sees you here.And from the way you write like a weird woman ,i bet you, no man on nairaland would want someone like you close to their wives even if its for one seconds cos you are a deadly virus,with all these attitude of yours,pls what legacy are you giving your kids?if they don't have a mind of their own,they just become miserable like you. All you could turn up to is to say what you have no knowledge of,education, uk entry bla bla bla,i want you to pls point out the flaws in my writtings.

My sister you have said it all, trust me just ignore jk, bonvita and everything else she calls herself, enjoy your nl expereince and avoid this virus, she real unhappy with her life and comes on nl spreading her venom. I agree with you on this post you have given the op great advice.

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Re: My Husband Does Not Want Me To Work by Nobody: 9:05pm On Feb 26, 2012
Thanks dear

1 Like

Re: My Husband Does Not Want Me To Work by tpia5: 9:05pm On Feb 26, 2012
**so the op knew all her long story yet still went ahead to open a thread**

na wa for una sha- you no dey tire. undecided
Re: My Husband Does Not Want Me To Work by blank(f): 9:28pm On Feb 26, 2012
This Tpia, you be real mumu o. Read your post back to yourself, did it make sense to you?
Re: My Husband Does Not Want Me To Work by tpia5: 9:31pm On Feb 26, 2012
^^i think you're the mumu here.

so, you'd know you had miscarriages in the past, and your husband had sponsored you for your masters, yet you still open thread to chat rubbish.

maybe you're the op, who knows.

una full nl.
Re: My Husband Does Not Want Me To Work by blank(f): 9:34pm On Feb 26, 2012
You are the one that will have miscarriages, oloshi.
Re: My Husband Does Not Want Me To Work by tpia5: 9:37pm On Feb 26, 2012
^^you're definitely the op.

your witchcraft will backfire on you.
Re: My Husband Does Not Want Me To Work by blank(f): 9:40pm On Feb 26, 2012
@ OP, people have given u their opinions, at the end of the day, u r the one that will live with ur decision. No matter what you choose, keep as much of what you have as investments, it will serve you better than endless new dresses, etc.
Re: My Husband Does Not Want Me To Work by jossy26: 10:14pm On Feb 26, 2012
What if the OP dies on her way to work because most of you have been wishing the husband dead
OP, marriage is a sacred institution, keep it sacred.
Re: My Husband Does Not Want Me To Work by Nobody: 10:26pm On Feb 26, 2012
jossy26:

What if the OP dies on her way to work because most of you have been wishing the husband dead

Why are you wishing the OP dead?
Re: My Husband Does Not Want Me To Work by moremi2008(m): 11:15pm On Feb 26, 2012
blank:

You are the one that will have miscarriages, oloshi.

Hahahahahaha!!!! She's the OP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! See how Blank fall hand oh!!!!! Asiri ti tu o!!!!!!!!!!!
Re: My Husband Does Not Want Me To Work by Nobody: 11:24pm On Feb 26, 2012
agiboma:

My sister you have said it all, trust me just ignore jk, bonvita and everything else she calls herself, enjoy your nl expereince and avoid this virus, she real unhappy with her life and comes on nl spreading her venom. I agree with you on this post you have given the op great advice.

That makes the both of us doesn't it. I am unhappy so I come to NLD to vent, you are unhappy so you cheat on your husband and ask for an open marriage. WOW dearie we compliment eachother don't we. You compliment me with your washed out v@gina and I compliment you with my bad mouthy.

We are one of a kind and I love you to pieces kiss kiss kiss

1 Like

Re: My Husband Does Not Want Me To Work by Nobody: 11:33pm On Feb 26, 2012
uplawal:

@Jennykadry Amebo as your signature implies,you have successfully destroyed many ignorant women on nairaland through your evil advices and you act like you know all,its you that knows half baked educated woman/ or not at all,honestly you always sound like a a senseless immature whenever you act this way,why derive joy in acting just like a real mad woman,when you can channel your energy to sane thing,may be you thinking all those rubbish you wrote upthere would put [b]Uplawal down or would make you think you made a poin[/b]t,you can go on and on and on,av seen and met many like you and its nothing new,so get a life and stop being miserable all the time on nairaland,nobody sees you here.And from the way you write like a weird woman ,i bet you, no man on nairaland would want someone like you close to their wives even if its for one seconds cos you are a deadly virus,with all these attitude of yours,pls what legacy are you giving your kids?if they don't have a mind of their own,they just become miserable like you. All you could turn up to is to say what you have no knowledge of,education, uk entry bla bla bla,i want you to pls point out the flaws in my writtings.

Yeeeeee, I made a point, you replied me remember? look at them them calling me a mad woman because you refuse to hear the truth, well thats my job on NLD so deal with it grin

Wow, so I have succeeded in ruining people's marriages, wow again. It must have been a long trip, I mean NLDERS travel from US, CANADA, AUSTRALIA, UK to come see you YOUR ROYAL HIGHNESS, QUEEN OF THE JUNGLE uplawal to tell you that Jennykadry ruined their marriage. Hang on, I just remembered you are all bark and no action,is it one of your assumptions again that you never back up with stats or proof? Ileobatojo asked you a question, prove what you typed here for people to believe you since you keep making dumb azzed assumptions but you can't. You have succeeded in avoiding good questions asked. Ode oshiiii. Sharapp diaaaaaaaaaa primary school drop out. Common sense is not common with you, you are as stooopid as the day the word was created. Oloriburuku oshi grin
Re: My Husband Does Not Want Me To Work by blank(f): 12:48am On Feb 27, 2012
I am actually very angry here. If you guys want to joke about something, please not about my baby nor my mum, ok. Insult me as u like but don't just go there.
Re: My Husband Does Not Want Me To Work by tpia5: 2:56am On Feb 27, 2012
^^are you alright at all?
Re: My Husband Does Not Want Me To Work by blank(f): 5:34am On Feb 27, 2012
I no blame u, tpia. Na d person wey lend u him laptop I blame. Still go back n re-read ur statement n see if it makes sense to u.

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