Is Lack Of Trust Enough To Leave My Girlfriend? - Romance - Nairaland
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| Is Lack Of Trust Enough To Leave My Girlfriend? by abey2(m): 8:39am On Feb 25, 2012 |
I got a shock of my life jst recently from my girlfriend of about 2yrs who actuaally reside in another state.I live and work in lagos and to the best of my knowledge been practising a very efficient long distance relatnship to a fault,and she loves me dearly while I also do.we talk on phn always and I trust her,though she is young(attractive) and recently gained admission into a higher institution. I knew I was gonna travel to see her recently and decided to take her unaware.I jst went to see her without prior call/notification and she was obviously shocked to see me,and as always,she made for my phone with her curious eyes but to my suprise,she refuse to allow me check tru her phone in return.this act got me infuriated and I concluded in my mind dat my gurl mst be hiding something from me I left fr lagos immediately and she as been calling/begging since then.I am particulaly angered because I date only her n Love her. Pls your advice is needed as I can't even think straight as I used to freely see her phone content b4 nw.thanks in advance i |
| Re: Is Lack Of Trust Enough To Leave My Girlfriend? by slimyem: 9:07am On Feb 25, 2012 |
phones are such personal stuff that i dont know why any boyfriend would want to go through mine the instant we are together. There are other ways to confirm infidelity IMO. Op,you were too hasty to judge her.feels like you actually want to catch her at something. LDR are such headaches and seriously i dunno! You just have to learn to trust you girlfriend until something SOLID tells you otherwise. |
| Re: Is Lack Of Trust Enough To Leave My Girlfriend? by cynthiafred67(f): 9:38am On Feb 25, 2012 |
^^ beautiful response as always. |
| Re: Is Lack Of Trust Enough To Leave My Girlfriend? by slimyem: 9:44am On Feb 25, 2012 |
cynthiafred67:  |
| Re: Is Lack Of Trust Enough To Leave My Girlfriend? by Nobody: 9:55am On Feb 25, 2012 |
slimyem: Mind to share these other ways which doesn't border on stalking. I don't support snooping around but you have to agree that a lot of guys and girls have been busted through their phone details. |
| Re: Is Lack Of Trust Enough To Leave My Girlfriend? by slimyem: 10:26am On Feb 25, 2012 |
apocalypse:how about body language especially when you bring up infidelity as a topic? You might not really be able to place your hand around it but it'll be there. A lot of people slip up naturally sometimes and little signs are given off. Besides,it is wrong to snoop around pple's things except there's there's a strong reason to doubt or there's something you are in search of. You cannot just conclude that a girl's cheating on you because she wont let you browse thru HER phone |
| Re: Is Lack Of Trust Enough To Leave My Girlfriend? by Nobody: 10:45am On Feb 25, 2012 |
slimyem:fones r personal effects, i agree, but did u nt read where d OP also mentioned how his gf checked his fone first? Lets be reasonable in our comments pls! @op, be very careful of ur babe! She is upto sometin very NOT funny! |
| Re: Is Lack Of Trust Enough To Leave My Girlfriend? by MrsChima1(f): 11:09am On Feb 25, 2012 |
Op When you go look for something with doubts and fear, you will definitely FIND SOMETHING that you aren't ready to embrace/hear/accept/know. It is important that when you are in a new relationship (that if you are breaking up with the current chick), you will set boundaries between the pair of you. It is important to know what is OFF LIMITS and what isn't OFF LIMITS. (Examples) Personal email accounts should be private and it has nothing to do with hiding something or not trusting your partner. It has to do with respect of privacy. Snooping is a sign of insecurity and lack of partner trust. Personal cellphones should be private as well. If she doesn't mind you checking her phone without her permission then go for it. But, giving respect of privacy is crucial because even if you are in a relationship or marriage, you still need your SPACE/PRIVACY. Just because I am married doesn't give me the right to go through my husband's personal things and vice versa. Snooping isn't going to change your partner even if your partner is being unfaithful. So why waste your time? Many things aren't always what it seems until it is clear as day then you should make a decision. However, looking for trouble isn't good for any relationship. I won't tell you what you should do in YOUR RELATIONSHIP, but I would tell you that next time think about what I said if you do get a new "chick". |
| Re: Is Lack Of Trust Enough To Leave My Girlfriend? by Nobody: 11:16am On Feb 25, 2012 |
slimyem: I don't support snooping as well and I wouldn't do that to my girlfriend but body language and signs don't mean poo if you don't have solid evidence and just as concluding she's cheating cos she doesn't give you access to her phone it can't also prove she's cheating on you. Most cheating partners even when caught in flagrante delicto would still deny any wrong doing. Relationships can be a pain in the ar.se |
| Re: Is Lack Of Trust Enough To Leave My Girlfriend? by slimyem: 11:27am On Feb 25, 2012 |
apocalypse:@bolded, so right! and i'm saying that if there's no reason for solid evidence,let your partner's phone be and there'll be peace. |
| Re: Is Lack Of Trust Enough To Leave My Girlfriend? by Natasha2(f): 11:32am On Feb 25, 2012 |
[b]I never had a problem with my bf checking my phone most times we did it together and laughed at text messages from other guys, we trusted each other that much, There was a day he refused me checking his phone, I knew he was hiding something, I took the phone from him anyway and truly he was hiding a text from me. I was angry at first but he later explained the reason behind the text, he didn't want to get me upset or hurt and that's why he never wanted me to see it. what I'm trying to say is, she was definitely 100% hiding something from you, maybe she's not cheating like it was in my case but still she didn't want you to see something that might get you angry. Only God knows if she's cheating but I pray she's not, but she was definitely hiding something, why should she check your phone and not let you check hers?. I would advice you to take things easy though and don't conclude yet, a relationship is a union between two forgivers. You've got to accept her pleadings since you don't have any hard prove she's cheating. [/b] |
| Re: Is Lack Of Trust Enough To Leave My Girlfriend? by mobf: 11:56am On Feb 25, 2012 |
Two insecure people seeking security. Dead end |
| Re: Is Lack Of Trust Enough To Leave My Girlfriend? by olaak1(m): 1:19pm On Feb 25, 2012 |
Abey2: pls h old are u; because u acted childishly and did not hesitate to exhibit it u left her place out of annoyance simply because she didn't allow u to go through her phone? Man! U need to grow up ur action to me is not only childish but impulsive. |
| Re: Is Lack Of Trust Enough To Leave My Girlfriend? by ifedun2: 2:09pm On Feb 25, 2012 |
90% of d tyms,guys/ladies who hide their fones in a relationship have SOLID things to hide.Much as i agree fones are personal property,i dnt see y a spouse should b livid if their partner touches their fones.Ao abt ur partner using ur fone @wil but just say u nid to urgently make a cal wt theirs and watch dem virtualy make d cal on ur behalf,lyk u neva handld a fone in ur lyf.Much as i dnt advise snooping,possibility is,snoop and thou shal find.Like Natasha says,2 can catch fun if ther is transparency on both sides@OP,u tuk a hasty exit.Nxt tym,dont alow anger to get d beta of u.U flunked it,so u av to 4giv her since u actd on mere suspicion. |
| Re: Is Lack Of Trust Enough To Leave My Girlfriend? by emiye(m): 4:46pm On Feb 25, 2012 |
your girlfriend SURELY has something to hide. Forget all those privacy shit many have identified, many have chart a new course and have saved or prevented staying in a wrong relationship through checking out their partners phone. Though you could have waited longer and give her a lifeline of checking the phone or calling it quit. I want to use this analogy to pass the point of me not supporting the privacy non-sense. A man who travelled got back to his home, after being away for a week, he steps in to his sitting room, and then tries to go into his wife's bedroom, only for his wife to block him, and she says " no you cant go in to my bedroom". @op, you have got to make your decision, but you must keep an open mind, if you want her to stay, she could be cheating. |
| Re: Is Lack Of Trust Enough To Leave My Girlfriend? by Killz3(m): 4:55pm On Feb 25, 2012 |
Lack of trust is enough. . . Don"t stay in a relationship if you cannot trust your partner. But i have to admit that there has to be instances displaying frayed trust. . . Not just an instance!  |
| Re: Is Lack Of Trust Enough To Leave My Girlfriend? by Ranoscky(m): 4:35am On Feb 26, 2012 |
Now, let me put myself in the OP's shoes. Me and ma gal are best of lovers. Transperent to eachother in EVERYTHING. No hidden agenda. Everything goes well. I payed her a visit that she was unaware of. She was surprised to see me. After some while, I decided to browse her phone AS USUAL, but she refused. I asked her to hand me the phone, she resisted again, holdin it tight to herself. And u xpect me not to leave immediately ? My body wil be itchy if I stil spend a munite in that room. She's history! |
| Re: Is Lack Of Trust Enough To Leave My Girlfriend? by rosefleurs: 4:45am On Feb 26, 2012 |
slimyem: Why was it okay for her to go through his phone and wrong for him to look through hers? abey2: |
| Re: Is Lack Of Trust Enough To Leave My Girlfriend? by Dynamique: 5:52am On Feb 26, 2012 |
Your girlfriend must be hiding sumtin,coz i find it hard to believe yl she shud restrict u frm checking her fone,if she's got no skeleton in her cupboard,mayb,she just received a message frm her second boyfriend or shud we say new,but,personally,i dont dig checking a partner's fone,as u wud only depress urself,if not hypertension,SOME THINGS ARE BETTER NOT SEEN. |
| Re: Is Lack Of Trust Enough To Leave My Girlfriend? by Oluwa4Sure: 2:02pm On Feb 26, 2012 |
slimyem: I see nothing wrong in my girlfriend going through my phone, except maybe I am hiding something. And you talk about body language, you tell me can you take that to court? What do you have as evidence? 'Body language'  Remember it cannot and can never be specific, and you can never be 100% certain what it meant!Besides, the guy noted that he has been going through her phone previously. It makes more sense to suspect that a girl is cheating if she refuse you going through her phone than have your suspicion base on body language |
| Re: Is Lack Of Trust Enough To Leave My Girlfriend? by Oluwa4Sure: 2:17pm On Feb 26, 2012 |
@OP, I'm not saying you can break up with your girl because she refuse you to see her phone and you shouldn't have left her because of that. You just need to caution her and that's all. Just be careful though |
| Re: Is Lack Of Trust Enough To Leave My Girlfriend? by pato405(m): 9:35pm On Feb 26, 2012 |
@OP: she's definitely hiding something, but she did so to protect your feelings! you wanna leave her? how sure are you about the next girl? |
| Re: Is Lack Of Trust Enough To Leave My Girlfriend? by Nobody: 10:33pm On Feb 26, 2012 |
Poster save yourself from uneccesary stress and leave the chicks phone alone. There are things that are better off not seen. I tell u the moment u start preying into her activities u will end up wit grey hair at an early age . I dnt mean that u should trust her, just trust ur love for her till she is caught red handed. Btw ur response to her actions was below expectation. What makes u think that she is sincerely begging u. The point is that right now u are confused and worried. Just gear up take ur mind off her to enable u think clearly then u ll know what to do. |
| Re: Is Lack Of Trust Enough To Leave My Girlfriend? by Nobody: 10:59pm On Feb 26, 2012 |
Ranoscky: This makes sense to me. The poster and his girlfriend had already established their boundries.She suddenly changed them. Whether or not checking phones is right or an invasion of privacy, is irrelevant now. I would be confused and suspicious too. |
| Re: Is Lack Of Trust Enough To Leave My Girlfriend? by 1stKlass(f): 11:17pm On Feb 26, 2012 |
Once the trust goes, the relationship soon follows. Its the way it is. |
| Re: Is Lack Of Trust Enough To Leave My Girlfriend? by pato405(m): 11:23pm On Feb 26, 2012 |
1stKlass: are you here to add salt to injury? |
| Re: Is Lack Of Trust Enough To Leave My Girlfriend? by 1stKlass(f): 11:27pm On Feb 26, 2012 |
pato405: I have no issue with even adding pepper if it makes him sit up and act like a man, and move on. If he doesn't trust her why is he even asking the question. Its a foregone conclusion, abi, that relationship is headed in one direction , Failure !! |
| Re: Is Lack Of Trust Enough To Leave My Girlfriend? by Adaeze003(f): 11:52pm On Feb 26, 2012 |
[/b]@topic if you dont have trust in your relatnshp then what do you have?[b] [/color]but i must say that a girl's phone is not a place to get reliable info from. why? because of you are definitly not the only guy that wants her.so just hear her out and if possible find out what she was hiding and why then draw your conclusion.[color=#006600] |
| Re: Is Lack Of Trust Enough To Leave My Girlfriend? by Ranoscky(m): 4:08am On Feb 27, 2012 |
@Pato405, how sure is the guy she's cheatin with? Or dont u think that is also considerable? |
| Re: Is Lack Of Trust Enough To Leave My Girlfriend? by Nobody: 9:40pm On Feb 27, 2012 |
Are u a baby? What T Fk did you want to see on her fone? Never go tru any woman's phone. |
| Re: Is Lack Of Trust Enough To Leave My Girlfriend? by SAFO(m): 11:11pm On Feb 27, 2012 |
Rookies. That's why you're supposed to delete the evidence or have it password protected. |
| Re: Is Lack Of Trust Enough To Leave My Girlfriend? by MrsChima1(f): 11:12pm On Feb 27, 2012 |
(detecting a player on the thread) |
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