If the woman must get pregnant before marriage to make the man feel secure, where lies the woman's security? what if the man ends up not marrying her even when she is pregnant. Marriage is a two way thing, if the man really loves the woman, he will not give her such a condition. He really needs an examination if he gives such a condition before marriage otherwise, life would be hell for the woman

May all you men marry wives that are ONLY interested in child bearing and NOTHING else (After all, that is the MAIN purpose of marriage, init. . . ?)

After you've grown old & wrinkly, and your children are all grown up and have spouses of their own, May your marriages break up and your wives leave you. . .  . .

***sarcarsm intended***

Children is not the sole purpose for marriage neigther is it the true purpose.

Having said that, i think it's totally out of place to give the condition of pregnancy before walking to the isle to a woman. Has it occured to you that she could get pregnant and loose the child after the wedding due to all the stress she goes through during the ceremony.

What if that happens, do you 'un-marry' her, get her pregnant again and 're-marry' her or what do you do in that case?

What about the ladies that would rather remain virgins until their wedding nights? Do you not marry her because she wants to keep her marriage bed holy?

Please let's not subject ourselves or our loved ones with unnessesary conditions before getting married, it just sucks out the beauty and love out of it.

Tanx YOMITON for voicing my argument really.

i am bringing this up because of constant mentioning of fornication even when they are engaged and are going to marry

1 Corinthians 7:36, But if any man thinks he is behaving improperly toward his virgin, if she is past the flower of youth, and thus it must be, let him do what he wishes. He does not sin; let them marry.

i am not too good with the Bible and i stand to be corrected!!

must you make any comments? _{long hissssss}

This issue of 'getting pregnant before marriage' has always been, is and i think will always be, hence it is a matter of what your believes are, but ultimately what God says about it.

As a believer in God through his son Jesus Christ, my stand is this DO NOT HAVE PRE-MARITAL SEX;HENCE, NO ROOM FOR PREGNANCY BEFORE WEDDING/OUTSIDE MARRIAGE.
"Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undifled; for fornicators and adulterers God will Judge" Hebrews 13:4.
Hence, marriage should be a thing that is held in honour and sex should not be outside marriage.

Considering, the varying opinions with regards to the essence of marriage in the first place. I have to refer to the manual of life which in my case is the word of God - the bible again.
"The Lord Said: It is not good that man should be alone;I will make him an help meet for him" Genesis 2:18.
Hence, the ultimate purpose for marriage is companionship, friendship etc (as you may want to put it)
We need to note that in Genesis 2;it was not until the last verse:25, that the bible records" and they were both naked, the man and his wife and they were not ashmed.
Hence, any man and woman who sees each other's unclothedness(purposefully) should be ashmed and know that it is a SIN against God.

The importance of child bearing/procreation cannot be waved off in marriage as the bible also says encourages fruitfullness and multiplication. However, that should not be outside marriage.

God the creator of marriage will bless every man and woman who will obey him, honour his word and wait till after marriage to have sex with wonderful children.

Veracious:

must you make any comments? _{long hissssss}

Are you a soldier? you sounded so stupid to me here and may that your tongue twist with that hissing of yours

People can no longer hold a different view to what you believe? this is a forum and it's meant for everybody to bare their minds and interact together regardless of loose miscreants trying to question why should people make comments

But to sum you up! you are a narrow minded village chick A.k.a mgbeke

I am very sure it griefs our GOD when he listens to some things we say or think.  Like others have pointed out, marraige is not for the sole purpose of making children and also, though child(ren) in a home is desireable in all marraiges, it is also not a guarantee for a happy married life.

At the look of the creation of the earth and its fullness, God created man (Adam), all animals male and female.  When He looked at Adam, God said in Gen. 2:20 "but for Adam, there was no help meet for him" This HE also emphansized in Gen 2:18. God ordained marraige for the sole purpose of companionship and providing a help meet for the man acknowledging the Godly responsibilites and duties placed on the man.  He gave Eve as a help mate to Adam.  This purposes the responsibility of all wifes to be help meets to and for their husbands' success in all (Godly) endeavours, in the face of all cicumstances.

When God purposed to give Adam a wife, if children was the basis of joy in the home or a criteria for being together, I believe God would have created children along side the same way He created Adam and Eve.  God said that the man and the woman shall become one.  Children were never part of this bond.  This tells us that there is a purposed bond between a man and his wife with or without children according to the will of God.  

The issue of increasing and multiplication is not only in child bearing.  It is in all the good blessings of the Lord, both spiritually and otherwise to the Glory of His name and children is only but one of it.

If the woman is God fearing in serving the Lord truthfully, she should not yield to the lies of the serpent enticing her with marraige.  She should stand firm in what she believes in her God.  As for the man, he should remember our GOD is a terrible God in wrath and a consuming Fire.  

Also, I need to point out that what is deisred in a home is joy and love, not happiness.  Children can only give happiness just like every other thing such as money, affluence, etc.  But joy comes from knowing, serving the Lord faithfully and abiding in His presence and He is our strenght in the face of trails and tribulations even in the fight against in-laws, etc. (if any) over issues of child bearing.  After all, there are homes with numbers of children, yet no happiness, strife rains in such homes and divorces in some cases, why didn't the presence of children prevent all these even the divorces.

Talking about ladies pasts, condenming their wombs and running to church.  If God should count the iniquity of man, even you as a man will not be able to impregnant a lady.  So who are we to condem any one be it male or female.  Remember, HE said in the book of Jeremiah "I am the GOD of all flesh, is there anything too hard for him to do" Remember, with God, nothing shall be impossible.  If both couples now truely serve the Lord and abide to HIS words,  He can make the dead womb come back alive, the fruitless womb fruitful.  He has the spare  to all our body parts. We should not apply our fleshy wisdom, but seek the wisdom of God in handling all issues.  

Also, all the issue of culture and family pressure, it is better to disobey all in order to obey the word and the instructions of God.  On the judgement day, neither culture nor your family will stand for you.  The word of GOD says if any part of you will make you sin and loose your soul, cut it/them off.  What does it profit a man to have the whole children, please his family and culture, then at the end, loose his soul.

We should desist from mis-interpreting and mis-applying the Word of God.  Remember, the book of Gen. 1 said "----and the WORD was GOD.   BE WARNED.

All those with wrong knowledge of maariage will seek divine counselling from GOD their maker before getting marriage and even those that already are can still seek HIM for counselling.

God bless us all in Jesus name, Amen.

very good point

@ romeo


I am not surprised by your Rants you call comments, as you don't sound to me, to be someone responsible or educated. i wonder why people like you should be allowed here on nairaland in the first place.

[color=#000099][/color] THE BIBLE SAYS MARRIAGE IS HONOURABLE WHEN THE BED IS UNDEFILED SO I DON'T SEE WHY A HUMAN BEING CREATED BY GOD SHOULD GIVE, A FELLOW PERSON SUCH A CONDITION.
WHAT IF?
AFTER MAKING UR GIRL PREGNANT AND AFTER D WEDDING LOSES THE BABY?
HAVE U NOT HEARD ABOUT FAMILIES DAT LOSE ALL THEIR CHILDREN IN AN ACCIDENT OR PLANE CRASH?
WHAT HAPPENS TO SUCH A FAMILY? SHOULD THEY NOW BREAK UP because THEIR IS NO ISSUE ANY LONGER? PLEASE TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN, IF U TRUST GOD, U WILL BELIEVE HE WILL NEVER PUT YOU TO SHAME. DO THINGS THE RIGHT WAY TO ENJOY ALL THE GOOD THINGS MARRIAGE HAS TO OFFER. LUV U ALL.

It's the ladies that allow some scumbags disguising as men to humiliate them this way. Why not just tell the guy to shove it!

Insecure women everywhere, latching on even more insecure men, who want to reduce the woman's value to just her womb.

Any woman facing this ordeal, probably deserves it, after all she chose (nobody forced her into it) to be in that kind of senseless setup!

Veracious:

@ romeo


I am not surprised by your Rants you call comments, as you don't sound to me, to be someone responsible or educated. i wonder why people like you should be allowed here on nairaland in the first place.

lol. it's nitwits like you that shouldn't be allowed to come to nairaland until they learn to cut pictures to a reasonable size before putting it in their profiles, and a better display of education and responsibility is allowing others say their views irrespective of what we think of it.

And i still wonder if you know what education is all about

@ veracious and romeo

you guys shd stop this public dissing it's ungentlemanly and definitely unladylike (or is their something we need to know)

Look this is naija where we have to sit down and interpret the bible in view of our environment.

obviously getting pregnant before marriage is not ideal but for the purpose of dicussion lets agree that some ladies hav joepardised their chances of getting pregnant. what then is a man supposed to do.

oya kiss and make up (or even get pregnant)

God Said fornication is a sin. wat else do want? fornication is pre-marital sex. God said hey! its wrong. its wrong, wrong

knzguru:

@ veracious and romeo

you guys should stop this public dissing it's ungentlemanly and definitely unladylike (or is their something we need to know)

Look this is naija where we have to sit down and interpret the bible in view of our environment.

obviously getting pregnant before marriage is not ideal but for the purpose of dicussion lets agree that some ladies hav joepardised their chances of getting pregnant. what then is a man supposed to do.

oya kiss and make up (or even get pregnant)

i would prefer to kiss a pig to kissin' her if she is the person in her profile

@Patto01

You have said it all. Nothing more to add, nothing to subtract. I had this same conversation with my mother who feels that the sole purpose of marraige is children. I disagreed with her train of thought and then she proceeds to mention culture. I will follow God's word and not man-made culture with all its flaws. God's word will direct my path because the bible tells us that man is not fit to direct his own steps. So we should allow God to direct our steps and lean not on our own understanding. God Bless.

i guess my mouth will really run here about it being not good, bla bla bla but really if the man i really love tells me i have to get pregnant b4 gettin married to him according to his family, wot wld i really do? since i wld be gettin married to him anyway and it will be our child, hey wot is the fuss all about. nobody shld pretend chastity cos we all know better. times are changing

@ veracious and romeo

Can you two possibly be nice to each other They call it a forum because you both have a right to personal opinions.

This forum is big enough for both of you.


@ romeo

stop taking things to far. 

"would prefer to kiss a pig to kissin' her if she is the person in her profile"

Whoever it is on her profile, it is disrepectful

it'll only take a couple of words to follow knzguru's advice 

I dont see anything wrong with a man making such a request. Some men really want kids and that is their way of ensuring that their bride-to-be is capable of having children. It's perfectly understandable.

@romeo- you're an jacka$$!

@romeo: Who should believe, as a follower of Jesus? Jesus who never married and never adviced that sex out of wedlock is within the law, whether the law is mosaic or his own, or corinthian verse written by Paul/Saul? You will note that the corinthian verse, now referred to as God's words is not even the words from Prophet Jesus (son of man)! Infact words like that are contrary to the teaching of Jesus and breed immorality.

Sex before marriage is fornication by the individual who has it, if unmarried. However if married it is adultery. Both fornication and adultery, if proven, as committed offenses have their own prescibed punishments. My people lets get far away from both. The consequences of this type of behaviour are increase of immorality in the society to the point of acceptance of this evil behaviour, sexually transmitted deseases of many degrees and others.

As a man, for a man to be sleeping with my woman folk doe snot agree with me and very difficult for me to swallow. I will not do it to any person. Behaviour like that is evil, regardless of the lack of encouragement and warning in present day to stop this evilness that is so common with us.

olabowale:

@romeo: Who should believe, as a follower of Jesus? Jesus who never married and never adviced that sex out of wedlock is within the law, whether the law is mosaic or his own, or corinthian verse written by Paul/Saul? You will note that the corinthian verse, now referred to as God's words is not even the words from Prophet Jesus (son of man)! Infact words like that are contrary to the teaching of Jesus and breed immorality.

Sex before marriage is fornication by the individual who has it, if unmarried. However if married it is adultery. Both fornication and adultery, if proven, as committed offenses have their own prescibed punishments. My people lets get far away from both. The consequences of this type of behaviour are increase of immorality in the society to the point of acceptance of this evil behaviour, sexually transmitted deseases of many degrees and others.

As a man, for a man to be sleeping with my woman folk doe snot agree with me and very difficult for me to swallow. I will not do it to any person. Behaviour like that is evil, regardless of the lack of encouragement and warning in present day to stop this evilness that is so common with us.

I fit bet say you nor be virgin.

Hypocrite!

nikkylolly:

@ veracious and romeo

Can you two possibly be nice to each other They call it a forum because you both have a right to personal opinions.

This forum is big enough for both of you.


@ romeo

stop taking things to far.

"would prefer to kiss a pig to kissin' her if she is the person in her profile"

Whoever it is on her profile, it is disrepectful

it'll only take a couple of words to follow knzguru's advice

she called for it and maybe next time she will check her comments and not telling others not to say their views, she actually pissed me off with her comment

BellaRouge:

@romeo- you're an jacka$$!

[s]douchebag i heard you! or do you want more attention? [/s]

i looked up your profile and i saw you are 17, i am taking back my statements

It really is a matter of personal choice and conviction. One things for sure
no one should be pressurised into having a person's baby if they are not
for it just to be married (PLEASE!!!) If the man only wants a child bearing
machine, he should look for a scientist to develop one for himoooo

Beans porridge hot, beans porridge cold, beans porridge in the pot three days old; etc.

I guess he likes his hot!

But HIV, Hepatitis testing and testing for other sexually transmittable diseases might be in order before you take a roll in the haystack. You don't want to become terminally pregnant, do you?

You want my piece of the cake? Marry first, get pregnant later . . .

wat is bad has'nt got two names. no matter the number of layers of fake truth we couch it in, it is wrong.if a guy asks me to get pregnant for him b4 we get married, then,

Its a dicey situation; from the religious point of view its wrong, but considering that the fact the lady might not be able to conceive(due to abortions/barreness); but what if the lady isnt able to conceive until after certain years - we've heard of cases of women giving birth after 10 years.

Also, what if the man is infertile/impotent, that's another problem. Will the keep trying all ladies until they get pregnant b4 he marries.

They should both go for tests to know their state & pray to God for the fruit of the womb. Its only God that gives children.

Marriage should be based on love and i also think the manual of the One who instituted marriage should be strictly followed to avoid a sudden beakdown somewhere down the road. therefore u dont need to be pregnant before u get married to any guy. the manual doesnt say so, check ur bible.

na u sabi

getting pregnant before marriage is not the best even the bible is against it.
If a man now comes my way and ask me to get pregnant before marriage i will ave to be sure if the guy really loves me,if he is sterile or if something is wrong with his condition.

thats absurd! the bible is against it. if it were to be me I'll kiss the relationship good bye. Y must I be impregnated before marrying him haba!!!!!!!!!!!!!!