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10yr Relationship Finally Over - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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Re: 10yr Relationship Finally Over by MrsChima1(f): 10:57pm On Mar 08, 2012
OP

Don't listen to those fools that said you are competing with 20 years olds.  Just because a chick is young doesn't mean that the man will be happy with her. 

Just focus on healing and reassess what you want in life.  You deserve to have a man that loves you for you regardless of your age. 

29 years old is young.   Please don't accept just anything to have a man. 

Think about what I said.  kiss
Re: 10yr Relationship Finally Over by eniolaboy(m): 11:12pm On Mar 08, 2012
hello

Re: 10yr Relationship Finally Over by MrsChima1(f): 11:25pm On Mar 08, 2012
eniolaboy:

hello

Were that for me or OP? shocked shocked shocked
Re: 10yr Relationship Finally Over by SAFO(m): 12:08am On Mar 09, 2012
Look at Mrs Chima creamin grin
Re: 10yr Relationship Finally Over by Dynamique: 12:29am On Mar 09, 2012
Move on,life is too short to allow urself to be disturbed by a loser,just term it;GOOD RIDDANCE TO BAD RUBBISH!!!.
Re: 10yr Relationship Finally Over by Nobody: 1:31am On Mar 09, 2012
aww OP, I am so sorry about this situation you have found yourself in. Did he give any reason for the break-up? I dont want to believe he just woke up one morning and decided he wanted to end a 10- year old relationship. Did you do anything to hurt/ offend him?

You both can try to sort things out,
I believe the fact that he still monitors you is not indicative of selfishness on his part rather, a part of him still wants you but he is confused as to what he really wants?! I mean 10 years is no joke now. haba!
Re: 10yr Relationship Finally Over by MrsChima1(f): 3:46am On Mar 09, 2012
SAFO:

Look at Mrs Chima creamin grin

Shut your stanky arse up! grin angry grin angry
Re: 10yr Relationship Finally Over by doeeyed: 5:59am On Mar 09, 2012
@ Naijasexy,
His monitoring is primarily for his selfish interests.
Indecision as a factor is not plausible.
He's had 10 yrs to come to a decision, = not committing to Op.

Difficult as it maybe, she needs to move on.
In the event, he changes his mind on realizing her decision,
She has changed the dynamics of the relationship in her favour but importantly, It's healthier.

Otherwise, despite 1-2 marriages to other women, ( likely as he's got issues wt permanence ),
She will always be the woman on the side for the extra loving, food, organizing his weddings or naming ceremonies or other events but never the main or recognized wifey.

A glorified mistress reaffirming his poor esteem.

GIRL! Smell the coffee or ogi, MOVE on by cutting him off n dating other guys.

Age is nothing but a number. Enjoy jhor!!!
Re: 10yr Relationship Finally Over by Konnektions146(m): 8:58am On Mar 09, 2012
i once had a lady like yur guy,
she left me, still peeps at me , expressing how much she loves me, so funny but i had to put a stop at it by-fire-by-force.

my dear, as coogar said, its gonna be difficult erasin dis guy from yur memory, virtually impossible, if somethin can be done, yu guys should just tie de knot and breed children cos i know u must have passed tru so much togeda and learnt each other.

if i may ask, wat was his reasons for walkin away?
Re: 10yr Relationship Finally Over by Basics007: 9:16am On Mar 09, 2012
From your post it seems as if he was the one who initiated the breakup. So why is he still hanging around? You need to take get a on your emotions and chase this guy away before he chases all prospective suitors away
Re: 10yr Relationship Finally Over by aleroo(f): 3:35pm On Mar 09, 2012
Thanks guys for ur words of wisdom. Most comments really opened my eyes. Thanks
Re: 10yr Relationship Finally Over by iykay4455(m): 3:48pm On Mar 09, 2012
10 yrs?Dating that long is not really advisable.Just get him off your mind and move on.Change your phone number and remove anything that will remind you of him
Re: 10yr Relationship Finally Over by otokx(m): 4:49pm On Mar 09, 2012
Somethings are really incredible.
Re: 10yr Relationship Finally Over by Nobody: 9:31pm On Mar 10, 2012
*unsubscribes*
Re: 10yr Relationship Finally Over by aleroo(f): 9:42pm On Mar 10, 2012
@ ikay, i wish icould change my no but i cant cos its also a biz no.

@all i am gradually getting over him even though its not easy.

U guys rock.
Re: 10yr Relationship Finally Over by Killz3(m): 10:09pm On Mar 10, 2012
"Spoiled milk today won't be good tomorrow. Throw it out."
"Energy spent thinking about guys is better spent on yourself"
"Its healthier to be alone than to be with the wrong guy"
Look back on the relationship to make sense of the reasons why it ended. Ask yourself what you could have done in the relationship to make it better and what you could have done to avoid the breakup.
"You can't go back but you can learn from the experience so that you can make your next relationship better than you could have ever imagined."
" Don't let loneliness drive you back into the arms of someone you know you don't belong with."

Those quotes above are the closest i can dig out for you now. Been saving them for years. It has helped me most times get over break ups. If i may add another "He Can't become "Ex's" until he doesn't exist in your heart."
That simply means you have to delete him from your life. Delete his number, delete all his pictures from your phone, your laptop, burn the physical ones. Delete all the texts he sent to you, delete the ones you sent, Delete him from facebook, delete him from twitter, delete him everywhere. Untag him from facebook pictures. Don't check on him there any longer. DON'T BE FRIENDS WITH HIM! YOU DON'T NEED HIM, YOU DON'T NEED HIS HELP, YOU DON'T NEED HIS CONCERN!!! Change your phone lines if necessary. Change your address. You are not a coward by doing so, but your emotional health is more important than anyone. . . Start your life afresh. it's NEVER too late to start. . . NEVER!

Aleroo Don't think of someone who doesn't care sh[i]i[/i]t about you. . . It is well!
Re: 10yr Relationship Finally Over by cbase: 6:42am On Mar 11, 2012
@killz u said it all jare.
Some guys can be selfish
Re: 10yr Relationship Finally Over by aleroo(f): 9:02am On Mar 11, 2012
@ killz. Now i am certain i did not make a mistake in choosing u as my most respected nairalander. U just rock men. Thanks so much
Re: 10yr Relationship Finally Over by Killz3(m): 9:25am On Mar 11, 2012
aleroo: @ killz. Now i am certain i did not make a mistake in choosing u as my most respected nairalander. U just rock men. Thanks so much
Take Kiss! kiss kiss kiss

He lost a gem. Fcck him! Start all over and see if you will ever miss him. If he calls you again, pick his call and tell him to Fcck off, and then end the call. An ex is an ex! kiss kiss

Btw, send me a friend request with your real ID. I dont want to add you on this, except of course you'll stick with this. . .
Re: 10yr Relationship Finally Over by agiboma(f): 9:36am On Mar 11, 2012
Ten years is a long time but that did not matter to him much once he decided to end it, anyways you need your space to get over it so take your time ooo and tell him to leave you alone so you can move on.
Re: 10yr Relationship Finally Over by ifihearam: 8:49am On Mar 21, 2012
Aleroo are you an itsekiri?is this guy currently married?do you think he is into any relationship?what where the reasons he really gave you for the break up?
Re: 10yr Relationship Finally Over by Idowuogbo(f): 9:02am On Mar 21, 2012
~Killz~:

Take Kiss! kiss kiss kiss

He lost a gem. Fcck him! Start all over and see if you will ever miss him. If he calls you again, pick his call and tell him to Fcck off, and then end the call. An ex is an ex! kiss kiss

Btw, send me a friend request with your real ID. I dont want to add you on this, except of course you'll stick with this. . .

Son mi!!!

Dat special type of fine boi

I see u in dere wiv d request thingy oo! wink cheesy
Re: 10yr Relationship Finally Over by papagiddy(m): 9:33am On Mar 21, 2012
10 years of ur life with a guy without marriage?? are u sick? pls how old are u sef?
Re: 10yr Relationship Finally Over by CArt(m): 10:14am On Mar 21, 2012
aleroo: I had to create a new ID for this purpose.

My ten year relationship is finally over and I know  not why.

The news is he still want to be friends.

Wants me to still cook for him.

Calls me out of the blues to ask where i am and gets upset when am not home.

Am on leave and mentioned to him that i had to travel and he said theres no need for that.

He comes to my house and looks around to see if theres a guy somewhere around.

Says the reason he still cares is cos ten years is a long time to throw away without making an effort to make it easy on me.

Am confused about the mixed messages.
Plz forget about him totally.Don't allow him to sleep with you again and he shouldn't be allowed to interfere in your private affairs.
Re: 10yr Relationship Finally Over by aleroo(f): 8:32am On Mar 22, 2012
@ifihearam yes i am and proudly too
@cart thanks so much@
@papa giddy yes i am sick, sick in the heart. U have any remedy for that?
Re: 10yr Relationship Finally Over by dbisiback: 7:17pm On Mar 26, 2012
I am happy for you girl, congratulations. I wish i had the kind of courage he had i wouldnt be in a 'stuck in' marriage.
You may not know it now but he may just have released you from a kind of marriage you dont want to be in. I was in mine (relationship) for almost same year had a reason to back out at the last minute but i didnt have strong enough courage and went ahead. Today i 'enjoy' a loveless marriage which i dont pray for anyone.

Move on the right guy will come along. There is nothing like marying someone who no longer have feelings for you or who you dont have feelings for. If he has feelings for you he wont end it but since the feeling is gone he sure did the right thing which is good for you.
Re: 10yr Relationship Finally Over by luckgames(m): 7:29pm On Mar 26, 2012
aleroo: I had to create a new ID for this purpose.

My ten year relationship is finally over and I know  not why.

The news is he still want to be friends.

Wants me to still cook for him.

Calls me out of the blues to ask where i am and gets upset when am not home.

Am on leave and mentioned to him that i had to travel and he said theres no need for that.

He comes to my house and looks around to see if theres a guy somewhere around.

Says the reason he still cares is cos ten years is a long time to throw away without making an effort to make it easy on me.

Am confused about the mixed messages.

Change your phone number
Tell him to stop all contact with you.
You need to move on
Please don't open the door to let him in
Good 10 years
If you are going to work it out , there have to be a rule
Give him 6 months to marry you
Or tell him to go F??K himself
Emotion will not change things you need to stand your ground
I am sure you know what you want from the relationship
Let good bye be bye
Re: 10yr Relationship Finally Over by Ilekokonit: 2:56am On Mar 27, 2012
A lot of marriages don't even last 10 years these days. I think the guy still likes you hence his constant monitoring of your activities to see if there is a new kid on the block.

Maybe the guy felt that the grass is greener on the other side or probably he at first thought that you would fall down and start begging him to reconsider his decision but you shocked him by accepting his decision to split and in his shock he is hanging around to see the result of his bluff and he is too proud to say he is sorry and did not mean it.

If you still love him then tell him so with the caveat that if he really wants to end the relationship then he should stop calling or visiting you. Although this is easier said than done. Anyhow, I wish you all the best for the future. At least it is better he is calling it quits before the marriage and not after.
Re: 10yr Relationship Finally Over by mwasyakali(m): 11:15pm On Apr 30, 2012
winkcome to Tanzania and see the difference wink
Re: 10yr Relationship Finally Over by bendazum: 2:08am On May 01, 2012
Eh yah,kpele.What baffles me is why,how did he make you stay so long and yet hasn't done the right thing assuming he loves you which I DOUBT.10 years na beans?A child born 10 years ago don grow be that nah.This is a LESSON to all girls who think that wearing a guy's engagement ring will make him marry you.The way ladies sample engagement ring these days,you will think all the ladies in Nigeria are engaged.Hmm,I hope to find someone not somebody who will tell me I have a guy-their slangs.You gave it to him too cheap and he don chop and clean mouth tell you Byebye.Let him stop visiting you,you MUST move on and I hope this doesn't affect your views about other men o.There are good men out there.After 2 years of relationship a guy should know if he will take it to the next level.Package yourself well cheer up and look nice,find something useful that will take your time.In less than 6 months men will RUSH you like sey you be Mama Chichi Akara,lol.Ciao.
Re: 10yr Relationship Finally Over by Tyche(m): 6:57pm On May 01, 2012
forgive and move on. The majoor challenge facing U is relating wit every other man based on Ur experience wit him which may lead to cycles of failed relationships. be aware.
Re: 10yr Relationship Finally Over by cfours: 3:34am On May 19, 2012
na wa o

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