omoge:

"A strong independent black woman anywhere in this world is one who realizes that she is an "EQUAL" partner in a relationship with any man she is involved with. Never a surbodinate. One that commands and fosters mutual respect and consideration from a "partner" without tolerating the abuse most men are so ready to dish out based on some learned cultural or religious hangover!!!"

omoge:

"A strong independent black woman anywhere in this world is one who realizes that she is an "EQUAL" partner in a relationship with any man she is involved with. Never a surbodinate. One that commands and fosters mutual respect and consideration from a "partner" without tolerating the abuse most men are so ready to dish out based on some learned cultural or religious hangover!!!"

omoge:

"A strong independent black woman anywhere in this world is one who realizes that she is an "EQUAL" partner in a relationship with any man she is involved with. Never a surbodinate. One that commands and fosters mutual respect and consideration from a "partner" without tolerating the abuse most men are so ready to dish out based on some learned cultural or religious hangover!!!"

So Beautifully!!. Hugs dear! . Permit me to quote you

This is what I will plaster on my door for Prince Charming to see when he eventually comes

n-guage:

Rubbish! A strong independent black woman is a fat woman who goes to church on a regular basis.

Most of them are also very loud and insultive.

They are mostly single mothers because their teenage years were d*ck sucking days.

Most of them decide to be "strong and independent" after they go to college and realise they are getting too fat for "consumption".

SAY NO TO THE CHURCH-GOING,"HIGHLY EDUCATED, FAT, BLACK, WOMAN!

en-fuse:

Personally, any woman would place a man worth respecting as head in a relationship or marriage. All we brothers need do is to earn ourselves as much respect as possible. Respect being relative would differ from persons to persons and for the ladies who have out of this world expectation of a man, then a humanoid will do them well.

davidylan:

thanks . . . and goodmorning.

But don't you think all these "quotes" are redundant?

How many men today see their wives as servants?

How many men are really abusing their wives?

In this day and age where assault charges can be filed for merely touching a woman on the butt and more than 50% of couples divorce before their 2nd anniversary?

Seriously i don't think the problem here is men and their "abusive" nature. What we have here are women who wasted their younger years gallivanting around bearing fatherless children. After they reach the age of 35, they suddenly clean up, start looking presentable and then make noise about being "strong, black" women.

Who really cares? The typical black woman is noisy, loud, intrusive, abusive and insensitive! For example just look around this board at the very women who regard themselves "strong, black and independent". They insult you at the drop of a hat like there is no tomorrow.

Aggression is NOT a sign of independence! Let these equality seeking women go to the sperm banks and leave us alone!

naijaking1:

@almondjoy

Nne, anytime you want to get back to the topic and get off personal attacks, it's alright by me.

Your personal attacks and innuendos really show how 'independent' you're.

Are you strong, focused, and directed---don't think so, but that's open to question.

britgirlee:

almond and others

hi girl see you have been posting very positive points and thankyou for your input

davidylan and any other persons who feel it necessary to start insulting women or others to try and get your so point call across please stay off this topic of debate.

I'm SURE others have similar thoughts.

you where not forced to post replies you did so on your own free will.


however I may not have any way to block you from posting but I will definatly not be replying to any other of your posts
its embarrassing to read and offensive.

if you still feel the need to play happy playgrounds on here as there is nothing better for you to do then feel free you will stop at some point and we will all take a breath of fresh air.

IN FACT WHY don't you post your own topics and play happily there im sure you will be comfortable.

Any way for others who have discussed the debate and have enjoyed reading and posting replies thankyou

look forward to more posts

almondjoy:

That is better! I usually like my "men" tame and submissive! Apologies accepted!

omoge:

LOL

almondjoy, you fit kill person with laughter

almondjoy:

That is better! I usually like my "men" tame and submissive! Apologies accepted!

naijaking1:

@Almondjoy

I don't know why someone compared you to Babyosis, Babeelove, and Militia.

I don't think you're Babyosis- I miss her, or Babeelove- I love her, or even Militia- I love and miss her too, because she usually has more points than you do.

Also these personae have no gender confusion issues depending on the season like you do.

nwando:

The obatapipipi,killed and buried babyosisi.
Love this topic!!
This is a rough subject y'all.
I would dare to say that men,Naija and non Naija love submissive women (submissive does no mean door mat)
Every married woman who hopes to marry ought to know this.

If by a strong independent woman the poster is referring to a woman who carries a label that reads
"anything a man can do,I can do also"
I pray my brothers keep away from such sef.
If I were a man I would not go near such.
They can carry their strength somewhere else.

On the other hand,no woman should be prevented from reaching her full God-given potential.
No woman should live in an abusive relationship,physical or emotional.

Any woman who sees herself "too strong" to be a wife ought to stay unmarried
and any man with controlling,jezebelic personalities ought to stay unmarried
It's not by force.

grafikdon:

What else can I say? Abeg someone give Nwando de Nwando a basket of Arochukwu coconut and a bowl of Ngwo ngwo and isi ewu!

naijaking1:

@Almondjoy

I don't know why someone compared you to Babyosis, Babeelove, and Militia.

I don't think you're Babyosis- I miss her, or Babeelove- I love her, or even Militia- I love and miss her too, because she usually has more points than you do.

Also these personae have no gender confusion issues depending on the season like you do.

omoge:

hahaha, eeeeeeeee oooo. oya almondjoy reveal it now o. Nna want to know .
babyosisi is around as Nwando. so naijaking1, you don't have to look too far

@Naijaking1

Now have you decided to allow your bride to paddle the canoe?

naijaking1:

Once again Nne, me I no see the apology-o.

naijaking1:

@Omoge
Of course she can paddle the canoe anytime, but she has to know how to do that, not just brag about it.
@Texcee
Your contribution and those of Nwando is a breath of fresh air. Not just because of the common sense approach, but because you've been able to express yourself very well.

nwando:

The obatapipipi,killed and buried babyosisi.
Love this topic!!
This is a rough subject y'all.
I would dare to say that men,Naija and non Naija love submissive women (submissive does no mean door mat)
Every married woman who hopes to marry ought to know this.

If by a strong independent woman the poster is referring to a woman who carries a label that reads
"anything a man can do,I can do also"
I pray my brothers keep away from such sef.
If I were a man I would not go near such.
They can carry their strength somewhere else.

On the other hand,no woman should be prevented from reaching her full God-given potential.
No woman should live in an abusive relationship,physical or emotional.

Any woman who sees herself "too strong" to be a wife ought to stay unmarried
and any man with controlling,jezebelic personalities ought to stay unmarried
It's not by force.

Texcee:

I have to admit that a lot of us women that make our own money and are able to take care
of ourselves have a hard time seeing a man as the head of the household. It may work
out in the white community, but the same cannot be said of us blacks.
This might explain why some men tend to stray away from such women.

Even the bible says the husband is the leader among equals. God made this so for a reason.

Also, I wouldn't say Nigerian men are

intimidated by these women, I

think saying the men

avoid

such women would be more appropriate.

londoner:

I think people have a very different interpretation of what an independent and  strong woman is. At the end of the day, every pot has its lid, some men like submissive wives who are dependent on them. Others don't, I hope you guys are not the sames one complaining of women wanting you to pay for their rent, clothes, hair etc. That seems to be the common complaint about Nigerian women on this site, yet some are now saying she should be dependent on you.

I suppose everyone has what they are suited to. For me, I could never be with a man who expects me to hide my personality and talents in order for him to feel secure as a man.

I like men who are attracted to what and who I am.

I like the idea of companionship, rather than the submissive wife. What both parties should submit to equally is the good of the family unit.

I like men who are independent and strong too, but then thats never a bad thing for a man is it?

@ Nwando, who said anything about being too strong to be a wife, theres no such thing IMO. Do you think being argumentative is strong? No its an inability to control emotions, that a weakness. People who know they have something important to say don't have to shout about it, but they also will be bold enough to share it.

I don't associate  femininity, wifehood or  motherhood with anything weak. Not every man is suited to every woman, but there are many men out there for whom a woman who doesn't have her own ideas, can't speak up, perpetuates this weak woman image is absolutely useless, she isn't suited to their personality. For some men, she will add nothing totheir life's journey.

If people think being a life partner is just about pounding fufu, wearing nice wrappers when you go out, saying "yes dear" even against your better judgement and the good of the man you profess to love, then maybe they should learn more about companionship. You should be able to draw from eachother with no hesitation. Well, at least thats the type of relationship that interests me, the other types don't interest me one bit.

I like to argue sha--and I cannot control ma emotions too--errrrr but im like am like that!

What is intimidation?
Intimidation is:

Threatening to use power or control to get others to do what you want them to do.

Using coercion or force to get what you want from others.

Making others feel like you are more powerful or forceful than what you really are.

Wearing a mask of being "untouchable'' so that people keep an emotional distance from you and yet do for you what you desire.

Using verbal and nonverbal cues to let others know[b] you are not going to reward any unfaithfulness[/b] to what you desire them to do for you.

Using verbally, physically, sexually, or emotionally abusive behaviors to get people to "stay in line.''

Using physical size, stature, and strength to get others to respect and obey you.

Using punishments such as firing, poor evaluations, divorce, spanking, physical fights to get people to do what you want.

Using quick temper, anger, or rage to get people to do what you want.

Holding your knowledge, level of education, number of degrees over the heads of others to get them to listen to and obey you.

Convincing others that you are the "only one'' with enough experience, wisdom, intellect, and insight to give direction or to have the "correct'' answers to life's problems.

Acting in such a way that no one would dare question or stand up to you over any of your decisions, opinions, or directives.

Using your money, wealth, or status to put others into their place so that your power over them is secured and not questioned.

Keeping others loyal to you by threats of pulling back your support, love, caring, interest, or approval of them.

Using dictatorial, Gestapo, or autocratic behaviors to get people to do what you want.

Unintentional verbal or nonverbal cues which put people on guard when they are with you.

http://www.coping.org/control/intimid.htm#What

Cyclone5:

@Allmanjoy

You too talk! E be like say e don tey wey you chop beta okele last. Too much raw meat, take away and pizza don inflict you with constipation. A good movement in the other direction would really go a long way to offering some equilibrum.

hi girl see you have been posting very positive points and thankyou for your input
davidylan and any other persons who feel it necessary to start insulting women or others to try and get your so point call across please stay off this topic of debate.

Please Nigerian women/African women qualify as "beautiful, strong, black independent females" not just our AA sisters. So davidylan stick to the topic and it includes all "black females" world wide. Abuse is real especially in Nigerian marriages. What planet are you living in? Don't you have married relatives and friends?

Yes, most Nigerian men treat their girlfriends or spouses like servants.

Have you not read about the increased incidence of Nigerian men killing their spouses abroad?

Let's not even discuss the "home base"--world capital of gender inequality and spousal abuse---Nigeria. You must be kidding right? Please stick to the topic. We are not only discussing African American black women.

Yeah Righhhhhhhhhhhhht!!!--But agression is a sign of "machismo and maleness" in Men? Go figure! Funny how y'all choose to interprete your holy books! Too much testosterone can be a bad thing--y'all need to share with the "ladies"!

nwando:

The obatapipipi,killed and buried babyosisi.
Love this topic!!
This is a rough subject y'all.
I would dare to say that men,Naija and non Naija love submissive women (submissive does no mean door mat)
Every married woman who hopes to marry ought to know this.

If by a strong independent woman the poster is referring to a woman who carries a label that reads
"anything a man can do,I can do also"
I pray my brothers keep away from such sef.
If I were a man I would not go near such.
They can carry their strength somewhere else.

On the other hand,no woman should be prevented from reaching her full God-given potential.
No woman should live in an abusive relationship,physical or emotional.

[b]Any woman who sees herself "too strong" to be a wife ought to stay unmarried
and any man with controlling,jezebelic personalities ought to stay unmarried
It's not by force.

Nwando
very intresting points made and the rational behind it
to clarify the topic was posted looking at the women from a career aspect goal driven,intelligent respected and also contributing family member be it wife girlfriend,mother amongst others.

It has been intresting to read the diffrent interpretations of the title and answers posted which has made it all the more intresting to see how people have perceived this thread