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Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed - Health - Nairaland

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Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed by Babasessy(m): 9:27am On Apr 01, 2012
Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed


For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality.

I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.


4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness


http://www.ariseindiaforum.org/nurse-reveals-the-top-5-regrets-people-make-on-their-deathbed/

74 Likes

Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed by Mentaremix(m): 6:22pm On May 29, 2012
Wow,dis is truly a Nugget of Wisdom 4 life.It is funny dat pple dnt appreciate gud piece of write up.Dis is realy cool.

5 Likes

Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed by choosen1: 6:47pm On May 29, 2012
.

1 Like

Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed by queensmith: 12:20am On May 30, 2012
very big wow,

This should be an eye opener for people desperately trying to live according to others and following values traditions and religions they don't understand, in the end you will answer to yourself.

I appreciate myself for this, I'm my biggest fan and my harshest critic, I seldom value the opinion of others about me. This article sort of reinforces that.

5 Likes

Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed by oladayo042: 8:02am On Jul 18, 2012
Nice one. I just learnt some lessons.

3 Likes

Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed by pastandy(m): 9:46pm On Jul 22, 2012
nice...

1 Like

Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed by Nobody: 5:08am On Nov 27, 2012
Babasessy: Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed


Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
http://www.ariseindiaforum.org/nurse-reveals-the-top-5-regrets-people-make-on-their-deathbed/

Awesome post.
Very thought provoking. I will definitely book mark this page for motivation smiley.

6 Likes

Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed by Nobody: 5:09am On Nov 27, 2012
queensmith: very big wow,

This should be an eye opener for people desperately trying to live according to others and following values traditions and religions they don't understand, in the end you will answer to yourself.

I appreciate myself for this, I'm my biggest fan and my harshest critic, I seldom value the opinion of others about me. This article sort of reinforces that.

GBAM! cool

1 Like

Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed by RudySmith(m): 10:08am On Nov 27, 2012
What people need is a bucket list, and fulfill everything on that list before they reach the age of 50, if they can make it that far in life.

1 Like

Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed by dilbert100: 2:53pm On Nov 27, 2012
undecided
Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed by Nobody: 2:56pm On Nov 27, 2012
queensmith: very big wow,

This should be an eye opener for people desperately trying to live according to others and following values traditions and religions they don't understand, in the end you will answer to yourself.

I appreciate myself for this, I'm my biggest fan and my harshest critic, I seldom value the opinion of others about me. This article sort of reinforces that.
gbam!! nuff said.
Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed by Afam4eva(m): 2:59pm On Nov 27, 2012
All i can say is that those who are alive should learn from this and adjust their lives.

2 Likes

Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed by Techwriter: 3:00pm On Nov 27, 2012
I only agree with few of the above except those people in India think differently. Here are possible regrets of a dying Nigerian in his/her right senses

1. For Epicureans/ politicians and corrupt leaders: vanity upon vanity, all is vanity why did I invest all my energy struggling, killing and maiming for frivolities that have come to pass. I wish I lived with eternity in perspective. Now I know that the most important thing in life is not things embarassed embarassed

2. For stars and celebrities: I lived for others, I married for the public, they all said we were the best to-match couples on earth, unfortunately it crashed before it took off. I wish I actually lived my live the way I want it and not the way my fans think it should be. Now I've made others happy at my expense, I wish I could borrow happiness from my fans. I have external success but internal collapse; not even drugs can alleviate my malady, yet a lot of young folks wish they could be like me undecided undecided

3. For Atheist: I wish I believed there was a God. If I cross over to discover there is no God, Heaven or Hell I have nothing still to loose(except probably the pleasures of sin that may end in jail, addiction and HIV), but if it turns out to be real, I'm FINISHED.

4. For Tribalists/Racists: imagine that all my life I have been fighting to show how superior we are. Now the same death awaits all of us. Race is only skin deep and ethnicity is a random occurrence. If I have one more year to live,I would start an NGO to let people know we are one and the same

5. For Religious Folks who never fulfilled purpose: I was so engrossed in my religious practices that I never lived the life God gave me. I never touched lives, I never did any thing to change my society for God but simply went to church/mosque, prayed, fasted and believed God to meet my selfish needs. I never answered the question: why was I born? So I never fulfilled purpose.

61 Likes

Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed by Nobody: 3:03pm On Nov 27, 2012
This life is too short.
Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed by DANILSA(m): 3:04pm On Nov 27, 2012
SOMETIMES NATURAL FORCES AND UNFORESEEN OCCURRENCES DONT ALLOW US LEAD THE LIFE WE WANT embarassed undecided BUT GOD IS FAITHFUL
Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed by otokx(m): 3:05pm On Nov 27, 2012
Quite an unusual but inspiring thread.
Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed by Nobody: 3:07pm On Nov 27, 2012
This is the most unscientific information about final moments before death i have ever read. The link shows it has origin in India...perhaps this is the wishlist of Indians while on the sick bed about to expire. The point I am labouring to make, is that a research work should be conducted, using theoretical foundation or underpinnings to drive their points. I suppose that in the fields of medicine and psychology, someone must have researched same. In Nigeria, I have a biased view that the wishlist would be :

1. Inability not to live a life of wealth
2. Regret on marrying more than one wife
3. Regret on not acquiring a land at Lagos/Ibadan Expressway
4. Regret on being an armed robber or kidnapper etc

1 Like

Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed by Tyche(m): 3:12pm On Nov 27, 2012
Thought provoking.

It took this awesome thread 7 months 26 days to make front page.

If na trivial post e for don enter tey tey.

9 Likes

Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed by londoner: 3:12pm On Nov 27, 2012
Gosh....don't we all know this deep down? Every now and then we get that few seconds of clarity that we are making decisions, based on something else other then our true happiness and even against our own spirits.

Then, we just brush it aside and carry on , on the same old path.

Sheesh.......man, this life was given to each of us....TO ACTUALLY LIVE AND NOT JUST EXIST!!!

This is speaking to me...... seriously!

3 Likes

Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed by lifestyle1(m): 3:12pm On Nov 27, 2012
Noted!!!
Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed by honestivo(m): 3:17pm On Nov 27, 2012
Am hapi am nt a victim of atlist 4 among d five
Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed by sammmiey1: 3:19pm On Nov 27, 2012
Crap
Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed by lalaberry(f): 3:20pm On Nov 27, 2012
Superb writeup
Lyfs 2 short 2 b bullpupuin ourselfs, wink grin
Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed by GJames(m): 3:22pm On Nov 27, 2012
My only regret before i die would be that i didn't die earlier. HEAVEN IS TO SWEET
Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed by Leemak: 3:22pm On Nov 27, 2012
highly inspirational
Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed by vanminister: 3:22pm On Nov 27, 2012
CARNAL THREAD! IT MAY INSPIRE CARNAL PEOPLE!
Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed by Nobody: 3:23pm On Nov 27, 2012
Wow!
Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed by acidtalk: 3:24pm On Nov 27, 2012
99.9% OF celebrities and Public figures will have ALL 5 regrets.

They live their fake lives to impress others and make themselves miserable inside.
Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed by chakula(m): 3:25pm On Nov 27, 2012
indeed very interested!
Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed by Nobody: 3:27pm On Nov 27, 2012
Eye openere indeed!! To avoid some of d regrets, I'm gonna go out dere and have me a good time! Starting from taking a bowl of nkwobi and a bottle of malt!

1 Like

Re: Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed by anitank(f): 3:27pm On Nov 27, 2012
Phew!!!!! Wake up call

1 Like

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