I know finances shouldn't be a criteria for getting married into a family, but what's the limit of financial status you will consider before getting married.

I have a friend who got married in less than 3 weeks ago and believe me his wife's family contributed ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

The whole burden was placed on this young dude from the Event venue, refreshment, rentals, entertainment and up to the wife's fathers cufflings, my friend bought them all (clothes for her parents and sibblings).


This is no exergeration.


His family kicked against the marriage because of the "extremely poor" status of her family, but the dude was adarmant on the marriage and as such his family didn't contribute a dime to the marriage claiming he is just going to carry another family's heavy burden when he is yet to fully sort out his.




.

That is no anybody's problem. So far, he loves the babe, i dont think there is anything wrong to marry from the poor background.

hmm just because a family is poor doesn't mean they dont have pride. Then again his family can also be right because before he knows it her your brother and sister would be living with them and then he would have to provide for their school fees or her father needs an operation or something else.

For me sha i wont consider her family's financial status as long as the woman im marrying is an independent hard working person who would contribute to our household and take care of her family as she see fit.

@OP, why are u surprised, is that not the usual way in Nigeria? Ladies marrying not just for love, but to escape from generational family POVERTY! Which makes marriage in Nigeria very SCARY!! Agreeing to live and co-habit forever with someone u never knew from childhood just because of MONEY & MATERIAL GAINS? Scares men to the feet!

[quote author=omega25red]hmm just because a family is poor doesn't mean they dont have pride. Then again his family can also be right because before he knows it her your brother and sister would be living with them and then he would have to provide for their school fees or her father needs an operation or something else.

For me sha i wont consider her family's financial status as long as the woman im marrying is an independent hard working person who would contribute to our household and take care of her family as she see fit. [/quote

This ones really lack pride.
Where is it permitted that the groom should buy the clothes for his father and mother inlaw and all their childrn?
The sad thing is that this dude doesn't have a regular paying job or business, na just regular omo boy.

cugresources: @OP, why are u surprised, is that not the usual way in Nigeria? Ladies marrying not just for love, but to escape from generational family POVERTY! Which makes marriage in Nigeria very SCARY!! Agreeing to live and co-habit forever with someone u never knew from childhood just because of MONEY & MATERIAL GAINS? Scares men to the feet!

The boy sef just dey start life
But seems he just made a great mistake.

acidtalk:

The boy sef just dey start life
But seems he just made a great mistake.

How are you so sure? Hopefully in my own case, when i become a billionaire, my most sincere desire is to get married to someone from an impoverished background. Frankly, I believe extremely rich families have no business marrying between themselves.(Just my personal view).

true talk

acidtalk:

The boy sef just dey start life
But seems he just made a great mistake.

This is a distasteful manner in which you are putting your boy's business in public and with such disrespect. smh for some people.

I've always marveled at the dynamics of "Nigerian weddings".
Some things I consider completely unneccessary, and may not include in mine. We'll see.

Love knows no bounds!!! Wish them a Happy Marital Life. (he saw before he ventured)

Well said!

Muttex: That is no anybody's problem. So far, he loves the babe, i dont think there is anything wrong to marry from the poor background.

If love exists as some people claimed it should make you look beyond the pauperism of such family. Love conquers all abi?

fresh_dude: This is a distasteful manner in which you are putting your boy's business in public and with such disrespect. smh for some people.

i like your post,very sensible. And besides op,those dat av done it in d past and are still doing it are not DEAD & will not DIE.

I cannot marry from an extremely poor family. Hurtful as it may sound, it's the plain truth.

I do believe in marrying with love in mind. Because what people tend to call love is at times a fleeting sentiment, practicality and proper planning are necessary.

I will not be marrying into a poor family, because of issues that will arise after marriage. Poor family members tend to create great financial pressure on males, which will put financial pressures on our household. I don't mind helping out in extreme circumstances, but it shouldn't be a regular occurrence. I have to plan for my children's futures and my own retirement. It also has implications on who my children are related to and the examples of success they will grow up around. If I marry into a family with several doctors, lawyers, bankers, and other respectable professionals (not necessarily rich), then those are the people my children will be surrounded by.

Being unrealistic about financial concerns when getting married may have a terrible impact on a happy home. No, don't marry for money, but financial planning needs to be a part of the marriage conversation. Don't ignore it.

Op, financial status shouldn't be a yardstick in choosing one's life partner. All that glitters are not gold.
Qualities like virtuousness, intelligency, exposure and of course physical appearance should be of great importance.
I'm sure the guy sees beyond what others see.

NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAKE EVERYBODY BEAR HIM PAPA NAME

naijasexy: I cannot marry from an extremely poor family. Hurtful as it may sound, it's the plain truth.

A girl that rejected GEJ's proposal years back is regretting now!

Amaka G29:
I do believe in marrying with love in mind. Because what people tend to call love is at times a fleeting sentiment, practicality and proper planning are necessary.

I will not be marrying into a poor family, because of issues that will arise after marriage. Poor family members tend to create great financial pressure on males, which will put financial pressures on our household. I don't mind helping out in extreme circumstances, but it shouldn't be a regular occurrence. I have to plan for my children's futures and my own retirement. It also has implications on who my children are related to and the examples of success they will grow up around. If I marry into a family with several doctors, lawyers, bankers, and other respectable professionals (not necessarily rich), then those are the people my children will be surrounded by.

Being unrealistic about financial concerns when getting married may have a terrible impact on a happy home. No, don't marry for money, but financial planning needs to be a part of the marriage conversation. Don't ignore it.

JUST SAID MY MIND SIS

naijasexy: I cannot marry from an extremely poor family. Hurtful as it may sound, it's the plain truth.

so are you from a middle class or upper class family since you cant marry from an extremely poor family ?

@op

I can but I have to be very careful that she and her family are not gold-diggers.

Amaka G29:
I do believe in marrying with love in mind. Because what people tend to call love is at times a fleeting sentiment, practicality and proper planning are necessary.

I will not be marrying into a poor family, because of issues that will arise after marriage. Poor family members tend to create great financial pressure on males, which will put financial pressures on our household. I don't mind helping out in extreme circumstances, but it shouldn't be a regular occurrence. I have to plan for my children's futures and my own retirement. It also has implications on who my children are related to and the examples of success they will grow up around. If I marry into a family with several doctors, lawyers, bankers, and other respectable professionals (not necessarily rich), then those are the people my children will be surrounded by.

Being unrealistic about financial concerns when getting married may have a terrible impact on a happy home. No, don't marry for money, but financial planning needs to be a part of the marriage conversation. Don't ignore it.

I support you.

Normally money shouldn't matter bt the burden go 2much na

Even nt being able to buy their marriage attires??haba

@ TOPIC

As much as financial background of a babe is irrelevant, one needs to be careful contracting such marriage.

It is not so much about being rich or poor as it is about the baggage that the girl is carrying. I remember a bloke that married a girl from a poor background. OMO!! It was gbese!!
The boy was almost fleeced during the wedding with lists and demands . . . He met all and the marriage was done. NOW! The additional responsibility of raising her siblings and feeding the family fell squarely on him. The dude was stagnated for almost 5years. . Finally he got a job in Angola, moved his family there, and cut off from Nigeria entirely. It was a big fight but the girl realized that it was either her marriage or her family. And she chose right.

Marrying a girl from a poor background can come with a lot of challenges. Just pray you marry someone who knows where to draw the line. Otherwise, you might as well throw yourself into a pond of leeches

Marrying a girl from a poor home comeds with a lot of baggage and as African tradition demands, you have to try your best to help out her fanmily. But you have to be sure that your wife is not a gold-digger.

I actually don't have an issue marrying from a poor background provided the lady appreciates the marriage institution and she is marrying me because she loves me. Moreso, she should be hardworking because that tells me she really had proper upbringing. In life, some people are very hardworking however, things never worked in their favor. "Time and chance" are two factors that favors people in life and some it just never does.

However, @OP, the guy made a big mistake if he knows he doesn't have so much, he shouldn't have had an elaborate wedding. He could have just organised a small party for both families wherein they would do the engagement and reception together after doing court wedding in the morning.
More so, he could have just bought something presentable for both families like Wooden Materials for both siblings (his and hers) so that they could be on same page and then some nice but not too costly lace for both parents. The idea of venue, he could have just used a small and nice place it could even be a primary school in his neighborhood. This could also help those presently in such situations.

[quote author=acidtalk][/quote]
This ones really lack pride.
Where is it permitted that the groom should buy the clothes for his father and mother inlaw and all their childrn?
The sad thing is that this dude doesn't have a regular paying job or business, na just regular omo boy.

What gives you the impression that it wasn't even the guy who suggested buying their clothes perhaps to impress his family since they actually are not in support of the relationship because of her background Sometimes, it is difficult for our siblings to trust our decisions perhaps because we have not been known to make good decisions in times past as such, we tend to present our decisions in ways that seems we thought it out more rightly than they thought.

It all depends on the girl's mentality!

Some people were actually raised from an 'extremely poor background' but upgraded themselves to the upper-classes of their societies, mainly because of their determinations and anti-poor mentality.

Your friend might have noticed that in her along with some other qualities and chose her. However, if she still possesses the 'poor background mentality' she will run him to the ground.

If the girl's family do not have dignity and self-respect, frictions abound in that union except your friend and his wife distant themselves and help when they can.

And who knows, the girl may very well become the financial back-bone of the family as life is full of surprises.

i cant marry a woman from a very very poor background oo..

esp. if she is an Igbo babe..

those people can make u forget ur own immediate family and start to train ur wife`s brothers & sisters (even her cousins )

abeg i nor fit...

unless she will agree that she will use her personal money 4 them and not to disturb me 4 any of her sister/brother stuff...

~Bluetooth:


so are you from a middle class or upper class family since you cant marry from an extremely poor family ?

@op

I can but I have to be very careful that she and her family are not gold-diggers.

I come from a well-to-do family. I don't like sounding this way, but, I wouldn't wanna go into a marriage that would make me descend the wealth ladder. I can certainly marry an "okay" guy that has great prospects, but I cannot marry from a poor home. As a matter of fact, it is forbidden in my family (sorry to say, just keeping it real )

naijasexy:

I come from a well-to-do family. I don't like sounding this way, but, I wouldn't wanna go into a marriage that would make me descend the wealth ladder. I can certainly marry an "okay" guy that has great prospects, but I cannot marry from a poor home. As a matter of fact, it is forbidden in my family (sorry to say, just keeping it real )

lol,

Hypothetically, what if you find joy,comfort and happiness with someone at the bottom of the 'wealth ladder'!

Would you still take the chance of refusing that in order to find the same qualities in someone up in that ladder?

Considering that the odds would be a billion to one that you fine someone with the same qualities

cugresources: @OP, why are u surprised, is that not the usual way in Nigeria? Ladies marrying not just for love, but to escape from generational family POVERTY! Which makes marriage in Nigeria very SCARY!! Agreeing to live and co-habit forever with someone u never knew from childhood just because of MONEY & MATERIAL GAINS? Scares men to the feet!

Even guys from vry poor background get married to women from rich background,claiming to madly in love when they r not.