Would You Write Your Own Marital Vows?

........or would you stick to the conventional for better ,for worse phrase?
Given the spate of abuse in marriages these days,the 'for worse' part is really starting to sound scary.One of my cousins made hers for better,for best!
What would yours be?
And if married,did you write yours?

You don dey watch too much oyinbo film o.

^no be like that o...
Been to more than one wedding where vows were not the usual for better,for worse.
...and i know my cousins' for sure!

MODS, Family section pls

I know,just want to press your bwest small sha .

Anyways i don't know about people writing personal vows in naija but i know a church where the pastor uses for better and best and the likes also instead of the usual.

I'd love to write mine that's if its allowed in churches although i'm not sure what type of wedding i want yet,still thinking about it.

But Lepa wait o,are you getting married soon? this one wey wedding just dey comot from your mouth anyhow,the last time was bridesmaid and now

Excelboi: MODS, Family section pls

wetin be family section?
You no wan marry?

freecocoa: I know,just want to press your bwest small sha .

Anyways i don't know about people writing personal vows in naija but i know a church where the pastor uses for better and best and the likes also instead of the usual.

I'd love to write mine that's if its allowed in churches although i'm not sure what type of wedding i want yet,still thinking about it.

But Lepa wait o,are you getting married soon? this one wey wedding just dey comot from your mouth anyhow,the last time was bridesmaid and now

slimyem:

Okay o,beware you can't marry without us knowing.

yeaaa, i wld love to hav my own vows read. but i wil stil add the better for worse.
cos if not, wen the worse part comes in the marriage, your partner fit dump u n he/she wnt be held liable.

afterall he/she never vowed to still stay wt u wen the going gets worse!!

oyinbos brought the idea of marital vows in the first place, and so, if they are moving into something different from wat they original gave us, it is not out of place to follow them. writing ur own marital vow is romantic but does it really matter, does it make for healthier, happier marriage? maybe, maybe not !!! i doubt if pple remember the vows they exchanged on the alter during their marriage

i've heard the argument that pple will most likely stick to the vows they personally wrote, however, many pple do not write vows based on the deep-seated feelings of their heart, but wat sounds nice and romantic - which they are less likely to stick to at the end of the day.

on the other hand, couples who exchanged the traditional vows and take the vows very seriously may end up better off

anyways, like i said b4- in marriage, nobody remembers the vows anyways

PeeDaVinci: oyinbos brought the idea of marital vows in the first place, and so, if they are moving into something different from wat they original gave us, it is not out of place to follow them. writing ur own marital vow is romantic but does it really matter, does it make for healthier, happier marriage? maybe, maybe not !!! i doubt if pple remember the vows they exchanged on the alter during their marriage

i've heard the argument that pple will most likely stick to the vows they personally wrote, however, many pple do not write vows based on the deep-seated feelings of their heart, but wat sounds nice and romantic - which they are less likely to stick to at the end of the day.

on the other hand, couples who exchanged the traditional vows and take the vows very seriously may end up better off

anyways, like i said b4- in marriage, nobody remembers the vows anyways

nobody remembers the vows because its the usual!
More like a formalty!
Something you have to say to the hearing of the world even if you dont mean it!
Dont you think the vows will hold stronger if it truly comes from within?
Won't the beauty and peace of that moment linger forever in your minds?
Although all in all,it is not a recipe for a healthier and stronger marriage like you said.

freecocoa: You don dey watch too much oyinbo film o.

Abi! During the worst tym, then you'll know if the person you married really loves you!

slimyem: nobody remembers the vows because its the usual!
More like a formalty!
Something you have to say to the hearing of the world even if you dont mean it!
Dont you think the vows will hold stronger if it truly comes from within?
Won't the beauty and peace of that moment linger forever in your minds?
Although all in all,it is not a recipe for a healthier and stronger marriage like you said.

Yemi
You have come again?
That's the begining of greed and selfishness.
That marriage can never last when you make your own vows.

If you cannot accept the common sacrifice of a vow laid down for both of you, if you start having that feeling of making your own vows, you are greedy. . . And definitely a thief.

If you are on a contract marriage like the ones our naija bros do here just to get the green card then its acceptable, otherwise. . .you be criminal

slimyem: ^no be like that o...
Been to more than one wedding where vows were not the usual for better,for worse.
...and i know my cousins' for sure!

Tell your cousin he/she be thief.
No offense

breezy047:

Yemi
You have come again?
That's the begining of greed and selfishness.
That marriage can never last when you make your own vows.

If you cannot accept the common sacrifice of a vow laid down for both of you, if you start having that feeling of making your own vows, you are greedy. . . And definitely a thief.

If you are on a contract marriage like the ones our naija bros do here just to get the green card then its acceptable, otherwise. . .you be criminal

thief?
Criminal?
Greed?
Selfishness?
Jeez!
I want my vow to come from within and mean every word of my it! Not some for better,for worse eye-service bullshyt!
Now,how does that relate to any of the above names?
No cussing on this thread..Take time o!

breezy047:

Tell your cousin he/she be thief.
No offense

no,she's not!
She's just a cautious optimist!

slimyem: thief?
Criminal?
Greed?
Selfishness?
Jeez!
I want my vow to come from within and mean every word of my it! Not some for better,for worse eye-service bullshyt!
Now,how does that relate to any of the above names?
No cussing on this thread..Take time o!

Ok ma. I'll take time.

You see the ' for better for worse' vow is a huge responsibility. And not only that, its a true test of love. Its a vow of sacrifice, commitment, loyalty, honesty, faithfulness.

You want to derail from it, you want to define your own vows from within you because you dont want all the honesty, faithfulness, love, commitment and parameters that for better for worse offers.

Now, many make that ' for better' vow and dont follow it.
But for you to come out openly and reject it, and set your own vows. . .that's CRIMINALITY and THIEFRY cuz you are openly expressing your selfishness to your partner that. . .I cant accept this vow of sacrifice, I WANT to make my OWN vow for US

slimyem: no,she's not!
She's just a cautious optimist!

Na lie jor!
Dont let her deceive herself
Any marriage that is VOID of 'for better for worse' is just an ordinary CONTRACT marriage.
And its weightless.

Since you want an hitch-free marriage, den say what you want with your own mouth. Like for better, in good health,in riches. You don't av 2 start saying "for better for worse, in sickness & in health and so on" To me, all these conventional vows is more or like a curse. It isn't until you say the conventional vows dat you will be sure of the love,trust in the marriage. Sometimes it depends on the church doctrine. I will like to write my own marital vows.

T-swit:
Since you want an hitch-free marriage, den say what you want with your own mouth. Like for better, in good health,in riches. You don't av 2 start saying "for better for worse, in sickness & in health and so on" To me, all these conventional vows is more or like a curse. It isn't until you say the conventional vows dat you will be sure of the love,trust in the marriage. Sometimes it depends on the church doctrine. I will like to write my own marital vows.

Oga
There is no curse in sickness.
Its only a sickness that has no healing that becomes a curse.

Ever seen a man that never fell sick?

But you've seen men in good health who get healed daily.

Take a vow. . .take both the sweet and the bitter with it.
And you confess it with your own mouth on that day.

@ poster, though I appreciate your character as a "Free Thinker"
I must state categoricaly that deviation from the Binding clause of "for better, for worse" is a selfish denial of Marital Responsibility and obligation....

breezy047:

Ok ma. I'll take time.

You see the ' for better for worse' vow is a huge responsibility. And not only that, its a true test of love. Its a vow of sacrifice, commitment, loyalty, honesty, faithfulness.

You want to derail from it, you want to define your own vows from within you because you dont want all the honesty, faithfulness, love, commitment and parameters that for better for worse offers.

Now, many make that ' for better' vow and dont follow it.
But for you to come out openly and reject it, and set your own vows. . .that's CRIMINALITY and THIEFRY cuz you are openly expressing your selfishness to your partner that. . .I cant accept this vow of sacrifice, I WANT to make my OWN vow for US

but of what use is the vow if i say it and not mean every word of it?
Why should i deceive my partner right at the first step of a new beginning?
Would it not be better if you dont make the vow at all than make it only to eat up your words later?
Like i said in my initial post,the 'for worse' phrase is beginning to sound scary and many people have suffered in marriages are are still suffering because of those two words and the 'sacredness' of the vow!
And when did want for honesty and sincerity become CRIMINALITY and THIEFERY like you put it?

Joe Mosco: @ poster, though I appreciate your character as a "Free Thinker"
I must state categoricaly that deviation from the Binding clause of "for better, for worse" is a selfish denial of Marital Responsibility and obligation....

Thank you.
Pls helpme sound it to YEMI very well.
Who knows I might be her future husband.

breezy047:

Na lie jor!
Dont let her deceive herself
Any marriage that is VOID of 'for better for worse' is just an ordinary CONTRACT marriage.
And its weightless.

every marriage is a CONTRACT in the first place!
Say something else!

Joe Mosco: @ poster, though I appreciate your character as a "Free Thinker"
I must state categoricaly that deviation from the Binding clause of "for better, for worse" is a selfish denial of Marital Responsibility and obligation....

why would you call it selfish when it wont be my decision alone?
As long as my partner agrees to the same,it is in no way SELFISH!

breezy047:

Thank you.
Pls helpme sound it to YEMI very well.
Who knows I might be her future husband. houseboy

slimyem:

Its not possible na.
Your syndrome has started again?
Where's this local psychiatric herbalist self?
I cant fin your herbs o yemi darling

slimyem: every marriage is a CONTRACT in the first place!
Say something else!

Your cousin' is a YAHOO-YAHOO marriage

slimyem: but of what use is the vow if i say it and not mean every word of it?
Why should i deceive my partner right at the first step of a new beginning?
Would it not be better if you dont make the vow at all than make it only to eat up your words later?
Like i said in my initial post,the 'for worse' phrase is beginning to sound scary and many people have suffered in marriages are are still suffering because of those two words and the 'sacredness' of the vow!
And when did want for honesty and sincerity become CRIMINALITY and THIEFERY like you put it?

Yes. Even if you are deceiving your spouse in your mind, go through the proper channel laid down for your kind of marriage at this present time and SAY the VOW.

The fact that you write down your own vow dosent mean there isn't that probability that you'd divorce. It dosnt change anything. I dont see any advantage to it. Instead it ends up breeding and rearing more CRIMINALS.

breezy047:

Oga
There is no curse in sickness.
Its only a sickness that has no healing that becomes a curse.

Ever seen a man that never fell sick?

But you've seen men in good health who get healed daily.

Take a vow. . .take both the sweet and the bitter with it.
And you confess it with your own mouth on that day.

Well said bro.Infact u spoke my mind.

Ever seen a marriage without challenges? Dats why we have the 4 better for worse part of the vow.

@ThinYem n those who toe her line of reasoning,make una carry candle dey find whr petrol dey smell;una go soon see am.

slimyem: why would you call it selfish when it wont be my decision alone?
As long as my partner agrees to the same,it is in no way SELFISH!

Dont worry i'll come and be your husband when the going is good and when it gets bad i'll just disapear. Talk about fairweather marriage

slimyem: why would you call it selfish when it wont be my decision alone?
As long as my partner agrees to the same,it is in no way SELFISH!

I wish you do a further study on this divine Institution of Marriage..... It is simply a life- long commitment. If u want a short term contract.... Well even when u convince or confuse him to agree, that does not change the basic reality of what marriage is.