siblings do fall apart. when dis happens,d first tin is to check thr parents,dats if both r living togeda as one family.thou,its might nt b d cause in sm causes.

Sorry,how am I the problem? School me please.

freecocoa:
Oh my days! A 24 years old child? Dude you are the problem, like wtf?

chronique:
Sorry,how am I the problem? School me please.

What makes you think it's okay to flog a 24 years old?

Respect is one of the keys in achieving a healthy and amicable relationship with your siblings.

Did you read my write-up at all? Did you read what led me to that action? How come it's just the flogging of a 24 years old,that you picked out from the whole piece?

freecocoa:
What makes you think it's okay to flog a 24 years old?

I'm an only kid, so Yay me!
But if I've got a brother, I know, a hundred percent, that I'm not gonna lift a finger, bear a grudge, or have an unhealthy competition against him.

that why you post like a kid

chronique:
Did you read my write-up at all? Did you read what led me to that action? How come it's just the flogging of a 24 years old,that you picked out from the whole piece?

Ofcourse I did, but made my conclusions from you obviously thinking you are in the right for flogging her.

I get that she might be living in your house, is lazy and tends to live her life in a way you don't like, but she's an adult, capable of making her own choices, it's not your place to decide for her, the highest you could do was state the conditions for living with you, you had the right to throw her out, should she refuse to play by the rules, but beating her like she had no rights or like an animal, was below the belt, that's outrightly humiliating and any sane/normal 24 years old in her shoes, would react the way she did, you have no respect for her as a person.

I had to read you over and over again. So because she's an adult and capable of making her own decisions,she should continually enter the house whenever she deems it fit,and wake those who are sleeping to come and open the gate for her;did you employ a security man for her? Am I the one to play the role of a gateman for her? And where did you hear that I beat her like an animal? I used a belt on her;didn't hit her with my hands. You talk about me not having respect for her;what nonsense is that? If she had any iota of respect for anyone,would she continually flout such orders of not entering the house late? Her misdeamenor was what even prompted my dad to ask her not to live with my half brother again,when she was in school cos she was always having issue with his wife. This is a child that doesn't respect anyone at home and we just manage to tolerate her excesses as the last born. In your mind,sending her out of the house would have been a better option than beating her? Honestly,I don't think you should even give anybody advice cos your advice would only end up creating more problems for families;do you have an idea what it means to throw your blood out of the house? I use both leg and hand take clap for you. On a more serious note,try as much as possible not to advice anyone with family issues cos you're likely to create more problems for them than solutions. I'm talking based on this your post.

freecocoa:
Ofcourse I did, but made my conclusions from you obviously thinking you are in the right for flogging her.

I get that she might be living in your house, is lazy and tends to live her life in a way you don't like, but she's an adult, capable of making her own choices, it's not your place to decide for her, the highest you could do was state the conditions for living with you, you had the right to throw her out, should she refuse to play by the rules, but beating her like she had no rights or like an animal, was below the belt, that's outrightly humiliating and any sane/normal 24 years old in her shoes, would react the way she did, you have no respect for her as a person.

chronique:
I had to read you over and over again. So because she's an adult and capable of making her own decisions,she should continually enter the house whenever she deems it fit,and wake those who are sleeping to come and open the gate for her;did you employ a security man for her? Am I the one to play the role of a gateman for her? And where did you hear that I beat her like an animal? I used a belt on her;didn't hit her with my hands. You talk about me not having respect for her;what nonsense is that? If she had any iota of respect for anyone,would she continually flout such orders of not entering the house late? Her misdeamenor was what even prompted my dad to ask her not to live with my half brother again,when she was in school cos she was always having issue with his wife. This is a child that doesn't respect anyone at home and we just manage to tolerate her excesses as the last born. In your mind,sending her out of the house would have been a better option than beating her? Honestly,I don't think you should even give anybody advice cos your advice would only end up creating more problems for families;do you have an idea what it means to throw your blood out of the house? I use both leg and hand take clap for you. On a more serious note,try as much as possible not to advice anyone with family issues cos you're likely to create more problems for them than solutions. I'm talking based on this your post.

Are you about to bust a vein because I brought up respect? Chillax bro.

What has your beating her achieved so far? You talk about her not respecting anyone and I see why that is, it's because your family seem not to know the difference between respect and fear, just like is a norm with many Nigerian families, you expect her to respect you when you treat her like someone who doesn't deserve to be respected, Ofcourse she'd keep behaving like the unruly child you all raised, you have to give respect to get respect Mr man of the house.

Where in my post did I say her attitude is okay? I said set your rules and let her know there will be consequences, which doesn't involve infringing on her human rights, how is throwing her out if she fails to abide by rules worse than beating her? Although seeing how you are, I doubt you'd come up with reasonable rules, there will always be a master/servant undertone to it.

Nonetheless, you said she has a boyfriend and always goes there, she can go live with him or even find her feet, since she's feeling too big to abide by house rules, but ofcourse, it's not in Nigerian culture to instill a sense of responsibility, it must always be "I'm responsible for you, so you must do as I say " even when they are not, smh.

I don't expect you to understand my point, it is beyond most Nigerians to see reason anyways.

Bluetooth2:


how can poor parenting be a factor ? Mind explaining more on this ?

Part of a parent's duty is to ensure that his or her child have love for his/her siblings. This is hardwork, but it is important. The values you imbibe in your kids at a young age is what they will grow up with. Helping children learn to value family members and relationships has many rewards. If a parent neglects this, your children may fall apart with each other when they become adults, because they have not learned to value family relationships and they no longer care.

chronique:
Well,I think sometimes,these things just happen and there's nothing we can do about it. I love my siblings very much and would do anything to protect them. But lately,things have changed between me and my baby sister and I don't see us getting close again. It happened when I tried to correct and instill some form of discipline into her,last month. For so long,she's had this habit of staying out late at night and coming home quite late(sometimes around almost 12midnight) and was fond of blaming it on traffic. I kept reminding her that my younger brother who leaves the house 5am to work on the island,still manages to get home by 9pm or 10pm and that there's no tenable excuse why she who doesn't work,should be coming home that late. Even with the volatile and tensed situation of the country in the build-up to the last elections,she'd still come home late. This time,she blamed it on her job she recently took up on the island. Later-on,she quit the job but would still come home late. At times,she'd sleep over at her bf's place for some days. She had become so unruly that she wouldn't even tell you she's not coming home that night,until you start calling her phone to ask where she is,and she'd now say she's not coming home. I had gotten tired of scolding her and worrying over her safety and I told her not to ever repeat it again. But like the stubborn and unruly human she has developed into,she did again. What was more annoying this time,was that she got to the gate around 11:30pm or to 12,and was calling me to come open a gate that had already been bolted. I was already sleeping. I refused to answer her. Then she called my mum amd my elder sister and they started using phone to disturb with calls to go open for her. I promised them that anything that makes me open the gate for her,I was going to beat her... Eventually,I opened for her and beat her with belt and since that day,we became enemies. She didn't greet me for about a week after then and whe she eventually greeted,she murmured the greeting. If fact,the next day after I beat her,she went to stay with the bf(I guess) for a week. By the time she came back home,she started cooking separate food from whatever I cook and was just behaving stupidly and erratic. This is a child I carried as a baby,washed napkins for,dropped off at daycare and would go pick up from the daycare. I felt rerribly insulted and embarrassed at her attitude. My dad had complained about how she was misbehaving when she had to stay with my half brother while she was still in school but whenever I asked her what happened,she would say the story in a different way and because I know my dad exergerates when He reports an event,I always felt she was the tone telling the truth. But now that I know how irresponsible she has turned out to be,it hurts badly. All I wanted to do was to help correct and mould her into a responsible person but she felt otherwise. I have since then promised not to ever correct her again on her irresponsible behaviour. I had to swear to my mum and sisters that they should call me a bastard if I ever attempt to correct her again. To sweep the house we live in,is a problem. She won't even lift a hand to wash the bathroom we both use,or clean the kitchen tiles. With the way she has behaved so far,I don't see how I'd allow my kids go spend holidays with her kids in future cos I wouldn't want the discipline and manners I'd instill into my kids,to be corrupted by kids of someone who basically refused to be corrected while growing up. The person I'm talking about here,is a 24 yeas old child. She's just unfortunate to have shown me this part of her that I never knew existed.

In all,we can never tell when siblings would part ways and stop being close. I and my immediate elder sister fought physically all through our growing up years,but today,we are very close.

I understand how you feel as you took care of her through childhood, But at 24 she is no longer a child. You shouldn't flog her with a belt, it's not too good. What you need to do, is to ask her to invite her boyfriend over. Have a chat with him when you can, tell him you don't appreciate him keeping your sister out so late, ask him of his plans for her. If you don't like the guy, tell her your mind. I know it can be painful, but once you have told her your mind, you have done all you can and need to do. The rest is up to her to listen or not. If her relationship with her boyfriend doesn't work out, it's you she wil cry to because you warned her. She will now learn to listen to you. Take it easy and ignore her pettiness.

Smh. You're just busy going on and on about issues you have not concrete understanding of. I'm not even interested in going back and forth with you cos you'd just continue to talk off-topic. In anycase,let me just let you understand something;there's no master-slave relationship involved in this. The fact that you even think throwing her out of the house is better than beating her to correct her and instill discipline in her,speaks volume of your kind of person,and perception of life and family. At this point,I'd just advice you to drop your advice and opinion about this;I'm very sure the person involved will not tell you thank you for asking that she be thrown out of the house. If most Nigerian ladies talk and think like this,then it explains why most marriages are crashing on per second basis. God knows I wouldn't want such a thing for my sister. There is a certain level of discipline that was passed down to those of us that came before her,and it has helped shaped our lives positively. That is what I wish she has... In any case,thanks for the discussion on the issue so far but I'd ask that you don't offer further advice on it again;I honestly appreciate you for taking out time to talk about it. Do have a fab day.

freecocoa:
Are you about to bust a vein because I brought up respect? Chillax bro.

What has your beating her achieved so far? You talk about her not respecting anyone and I see why that is, it's because your family seem not to know the difference between respect and fear, just like is a norm with many Nigerian families, you expect her to respect you when you treat her like someone who doesn't deserve to be respected, Ofcourse she'd keep behaving like the unruly child you all raised, you have to give respect to get respect Mr man of the house.

Where in my post did I say her attitude is okay? I said set your rules and let her know there will be consequences, which doesn't involve infringing on her human rights, how is throwing her out if she fails to abide by rules worse than beating her? Although seeing how you are, I doubt you'd come up with reasonable rules, there will always be a master/servant undertone to it.

Nonetheless, you said she has a boyfriend and always goes there, she can go live with him or even find her feet, since she's feeling too big to abide by house rules, but ofcourse, it's not in Nigerian culture to instill a sense of responsibility, it must always be "I'm responsible for you, so you must do as I say " even when they are not, smh.

I don't expect you to understand my point, it is beyond most Nigerians to see reason anyways.

chronique:
Smh. You're just busy going on and on about issues you have not concrete understanding of. I'm not even interested in going back and forth with you cos you'd just continue to talk off-topic. In anycase,let me just let you understand something;there's no master-slave relationship involved in this. The fact that you even think throwing her out of the house is better than beating her to correct her and instill discipline in her,speaks volume of your kind of person,and perception of life and family. At this point,I'd just advice you to drop your advice and opinion about this;I'm very sure the person involved will not tell you thank you for asking that she be thrown out of the house. If most Nigerian ladies talk and think like this,then it explains why most marriages are crashing on per second basis. God knows I wouldn't want such a thing for my sister. There is a certain level of discipline that was passed down to those of us that came before her,and it has helped shaped our lives positively. That is what I wish she has... In any case,thanks for the discussion on the issue so far but I'd ask that you don't offer further advice on it again;I honestly appreciate you for taking out time to talk about it. Do have a fab day.

Dude I couldn't careless what you think of my personality, but I never said you should throw her out of the house, I'm telling you that's also an option and the word "throwing" doesn't have to be literal, whatever man, have a good day too.

I get you clearly and I must confess to you,I wasn't happy beating her. Most times when she does all those things,I just put it across to her that I do not like it and after talking,I forget about it. What happened that night,was a reaction based on accumulated anger on the many issues I had complained to her about. Let me even let you know this,the fact that her bf has already allowed a strain to come in between our relationship,has already made me have a certain reservation about him(almost a dislike). As it is though,I have hands off her issues and wouldn't be meddling in them again. I don't even bother asking her or finding out where she stays or sleeps when she leaves the house. So long as she healthy and alive and out of trouble,nothing else matters. Like you rightly said,she's an adult,and has the right to live her life the way she wants.

Pidggin:


I understand how you feel as you took care of her through childhood, But at 24 she is no longer a child. You shouldn't flog her with a belt, it's not too good. What you need to do, is to ask her to invite her boyfriend over. Have a chat with him when you can, tell him you don't appreciate him keeping your sister out so late, ask him of his plans for her. If you don't like the guy, tell her your mind. I know it can be painful, but once you have told her your mind, you have done all you can and need to do. The rest is up to her to listen or not. If her relationship with her boyfriend doesn't work out, it's you she wil cry to because you warned her. She will now learn to listen to you. Take it easy and ignore her pettiness.

@chronique Reading your story made me get angry on your behalf. A 24 year old is grown and in some cases too not so grown as they would like to think. A child that would come in continually close to midnight (not rarely but continually) is disespectful BUT you shouldn't have flogged her (I know you now realize that). I am female and if my sister did that continually, I wouldn't have opened the gate for her that night and the next day, tell my parents to come and pick up their child. Much less, cooking seperately and not sweeping the house, I can't deal with that kind of behaviour.

Apart from her attitude, I think the bf also has more of the blame. No responsible male keeps a lady till late and allows her enter her home at midnight not once or twice without calling to apologize to her guardian or who she stays with and trying not to make it a repeat occurence. It is wrong and disrespectful.

I love my siblings and our journey has also been fraught by strains and misunderstandings but I learn from the misunderstandings and so do they. As the learning helps create new boundaries and adjustments.
No matter how high I raise my voice when angry, none of them replies back and as such we have never gotten into a shouting match.


Apart from Parents' upbringing, I think each sibling - except for the absolute crazies or evil ones - is responsible for continual unity in the family. So reading through most posts on this thread about how your sister/brother hates you whereas you have been the saint isn't trying to make things right. No one is perfect not even the saintly 'you'. Love is an act that is sometimes painful to carry out but as long as you preach love you better learn to wear its 'selfless' shoes.

Yes, as the first born child I deserve some form of respect but I also respect the fact that my siblings are growing individuals and as such deserve respect too. Do they get me angry? Yes, sometimes but I am also aware of the fact that as a human some of my actions might get them angry too. Now, how we solve issues goes a long way in helping keep the bond or totally destroying it.

May God bless you for your post. You just echoed my innermost thoughts and shared my exact opinions. You just proved to be one of the very few sensible and responsible ladies around. The funny thing about all these is that,I don't keep late nights nor sleep out and as such,she can't say she learnt it from me. Her immediate elder sister from my mum's side who happens to be my immediate younger sister,doesn't live that way. When she was around,I never had the cause to shout or complain about anything. She'd do all cleanings and cookings by herself. But with this baby sister of mine,the reverse is the case. I do 90% of the cooking in the house(until she started cooking her food separately after I flogged her). On several occassions,I'd be the one to fix dinner when I get back from work at and she'd walk into the kitchen to dish her food(not that she doesn't know how to cook).

Enoquin:
@chronique Reading your story made me get angry on your behalf. A 24 year old is grown and in some cases too not so grown as they would like to think. A child that would come in continually close to midnight (not rarely but continually) is disespectful BUT you shouldn't have flogged her (I know you now realize that). I am female and if my sister did that continually, I wouldn't have opened the gate for her that night and the next day, tell my parents to come and pick up their child. Much less, cooking seperately and not sweeping the house, I can't deal with that kind of behaviour.

Apart from her attitude, I think the bf also has more of the blame. No responsible male keeps a lady till late and allows her enter her home at midnight not once or twice without calling to apologize to her guardian or who she stays with and trying not to make it a repeat occurence. It is wrong and disrespectful.

I love my siblings and our journey has also been fraught by strains and misunderstandings but I learn from the misunderstandings and so do they. As the learning helps create new boundaries and adjustments.
No matter how high I raise my voice when angry, none of them replies back and as such we have never gotten into a shouting match.


Apart from Parents' upbringing, I think each sibling - except for the absolute crazies or evil ones - is responsible for continual unity in the family. So reading through most posts on this thread about how your sister/brother hates you whereas you have been the saint isn't trying to make things right. No one is perfect not even the saintly 'you'. Love is an act that is sometimes painful to carry out but as long as you preach love you better learn to wear its 'selfless' shoes.

Yes, as the first born child I deserve some form of respect but I also respect the fact that my siblings are growing individuals and as such deserve respect too. Do they get me angry? Yes, sometimes but I am also aware of the fact that as a human some of my actions might get them angry too. Now, how we solve issues goes a long way in helping keep the bond or totally destroying it.

Hmm. Not easy o.

Hmm what a thread.

Seeing how my mum and her eldest sister have fallen out in their old age, I will just say, everyone should be careful of what they do, you might think your sibling is not aware of all these, you would be surprised they are watching and habouring all waiting for the perfect time to cut you off. Never ever treat your sibling bad probably because you are far older ( in their case it was the eldest versus the youngest NO 1 and No 7 so she was far older than her) because the tables may turn.

I was really shocked when my mum told me ' I was just watching her all these years swallowed all she did, waiting for my own child to grow up and able to stand on her own and become successful, I took all insults in good strides, now my child is able to stand on her feet, I am damning her.

They talk and greet when they see at occasions but things have fallen far apart.

From experience, bad parenting, laziness, pride and lack of father figure in the family(my dad died when i was nine years old).

Lack of father-figure and bad parenting- When my dad was still alive, We used to be a one big happy family. My dad always made sure we look out for each other. I really enjoyed and cherish those moments. We never had any cause to complain about a brother or sister. The only person i thought was going to treat us bad was my elder sister because my mom was always beating her. (When i was still much younger, i thought she was a house maid because she is the only dark person amongst my siblings while the rest were light skinned). Infact i can remember vividly when she was a teenager, my mom mandated her responsibility to take care of the younger ones. From bathing, feeding, washing. Any mistake or if she forgets to do any of these things, my mom will beat the living daylight out of her. But guess what She is married now with an "oyibo pepper" daughter and still cares for all of us no matter how bad you are. Mehn!!!! She is tolerant. My mom liked our eldest brother very well. At 16, my eldest brother has started riding my moms cars. He even bashed one a certain time, my mom didn't even caution him in anyway. She was only after what my dad will do to him. IMAGINE!!!!. My dad was a great disciplinarian. He adored my eldest sis(but didn't show it much). He never beat the girls for one day just the boys. Infact, he used our eldest brother for corrections. If any of us did something wrong, our eldest brother will take the blame and beatings(with pipe oooo not normal cane). You dare not dodge the beatings cos he used to box then. He will "mike tyson you". I come from a christian home that do morning and night devotion every blessed day. Jealousy and envy is "NOT" the reason some of us drifted. I come from a family of six. Male-Male-Male-Female-Female(me)-Female.

Secondly, shortly after my dad died, my mom started being secretive. For e.g she was making arrangements for our last born to go to USA, like 3 or 4 us didn't even know about it and some other things. We can't share secrets, failures or successes again. Using myself as an example, i only share something with just my sisters and eldest brother. I unconsciously act as though the other two bothers don't exist. It has really affected us. My elder sis was pregnant, I didn't know about it until the third trimester. My brothers only got to know when she gave birth. If suitors are coming for either me or my younger sis, my mom won't let either of us know e.g I don't get to know that someone is asking for my sisters hand in marriage and vice-versa. Except when we accidentally bump into the discussions or the suitor in question. If my eldest brother wants to do something or any transaction in Nigeria, i would be the only one he would contact. Ignoring the other two brothers. When he wanted to come to Nigeria after 4 years in US, i was the first he contacted amongst my siblings. The rest got to know either through me or my mom.

Moral of factor 1.
1- Treat all your children equally.
2- Never assign a particular duty to a child. House chores must be shared according to one's ability.
3- Make each child responsible for his/her actions or inactions and should be treated with all equity and fairness.
4- Parents, please it's your duty to take care of your children. Don't mandate the responsibility on the 1st son and 1st daughter. They are also need someone to take care of them as well.
5- Parents, learn to share all your children's successes and failures with them. One might be a strength to the other's weakness.
6- Lay a good family foundation that won't be shaken even after many years to come.

Laziness: I don't hate my 2 brothers (2nd & 3rd) But i dislike their lazy attitude. They are "VERY" lazy. Our first born is very hardworking. I don't even know why they are not emulating him. N.B before my eldest brother relocated to USA, he set up businesses for them but it vanished into thin air because they are lazy. They feel so entitled.... Jeeeeeez!!!! They don't want to struggle, hustle, break a sweat. Two of them are not even close. They don't like each other. I wonder if it's the level of laziness between the two of them that they are beefing. My eldest brother no dey even send them again. He believes in "if you like be useful, if you like be useless. I have tried, na your children go suffer am when they see their nephews and nieces".

Moral of factor 2.
1- Make all your children act responsible as early as possible.
2- They shouldn't be entitled to "ANYTHING"
3- They shouldn't depend solely on one person.

Bad parenting: the third son is a trouble maker. When he gets himself into trouble with our neighbors, my mom will always protect and bail him. We the daughters have always told her to stop that attitude to no avail. If he is old enough to look for trouble, then he should be old enough to sort himself out. She has stopped sha maybe because he stopped getting himself into wahala. In family, the girls are far more hardworking than the guys. If my mom dare invested in us, maybe our names would be ringing bells in people's ears by now. I belive so much in my sisters physical and mental effort to survive. Also, my mom didn't invest much in the girls. She only trained us to the University level, which is the same with the guys. For my mom, If you want to do your masters, it comes with a condition that you will do it in any of the universities in the southeastern part of Nigeria. But i want my Masters in either the western state or outside Nigeria. My mom also lacks motivation spirit. She doesn't know how to encourage or motivate someone. Our first born and last born are the best motivators i have in my family. The hardly give up on someone. But my mom will make it look like your whole world has come to an end. There was a day she called to check on me, the things she told me that day eeehn made me ask God why!!!! I cried eeeehnnn because i'm looking for job ooo. N.B i was working before oooo but had to resign due to the risks that comes with the job esp. for females. When i was working, i transfer money to my mom on a monthly basis. It's not like she is not lacking, she has her own business but i wanted to show her that daughters too can make their parents proud. If i start listing what my mom has denied me but give to my other brothers, you will cry on my behalf. Now, i avoid calling her so my heart won't be shattered from the words from her mouth. But guess what I bear no grudge cos she is still my mom and i love her. All the jobs i have gotten so far, nobody introduced me to anybody before i got the jobs. I wrote professional Exams without the help of a family member all because i want to develop my self and have more advantage in the job search. My mom esp. don't see any reason why i should write a professional exam. She called it a waste of money!!!! Hmmmm CIPM has suffered!!!!

Moral of factor 3
1- If a child sees a flame and wants to put his hand, try as much as possible to protect him/her but if they insist, let them feel the pain.
2- Always invest in your girl child, the may have the power to do exploits. Believe in their dreams too.
3- Be a source of motivation to your children. Don't discourage something they have put in so much energy and effort to do. If you can't encourage them, please don't discourage them.


Pride- The third born is always proud. He doesn't have anything to his name yet he is proud. I have told him lets rent out the third room in our house since no one is using it, yet he wants to be claiming big man that lives in a 3 bedroom bungalow. The second is no longer living with us due to their plenty wahala and also the rent is above his means. Always appear in front of his friends like he is rich, yet he has nothing. I would have stayed with the second one but the new place is quite far. But I'm planning on doing that when i get a new job. Both of them don't have the hustling spirit and they both dump dirty plates in the kitchen sink but The second one respects himself, he doesn't invade into my privacy, he does not use my stuff without asking me but the third one for where? My female friend came to stay with me last year, he has already started touching that one inappropriately ( something i detest) and my friend had that notion that all my brothers were brought up like that which is not true. I gave my brother a serious warning that he shouldn't talk to any of my friends again. Infact, I decided to stop bringing my friends to my house cos i hate embarrassment. I'd rather go to my friends houses than let them come to my house. The third one can enter my room without knocking can you imagine!!!! I had to get a door hook. The third one is always peeping from the window of my room!!!! Please ask me what he wants to see Is it his sisters unclothedness or what? I don't just understand. I lock my room while sleeping tho!!! He feels entitled when using your stuff. He will not buy but he will use.

So my people oooo these are my reasons ooooh!!!! I'm always in my friends house which is a trek able distance to my house. I'm always here because of how my friend and her siblings enjoy each other's company. They don't have much but the love they share is beyond explanation. My friend is not working yet but the way her mom calls her on phone almost everyday to encourage and pray for her is something else. We both wrote the professional exam together and her mom provided everything she needed. But i asked my mom for 15k to complete the exam registration, she reminded me of how i dont have new clothes, shoes e.t.c. I want to learn siblings love from them abeg than staying with a brother that i dont say more than five sentences to in a day or who doesn't call to check up on his younger sister. Sometimes, I subconsciously wish i had just 3 siblings. The first born and my 2 sisters. My children must love each other and will never experience enemity with each other. I don't want them to turn out like me and my siblings.

But really, @ChickWith7Siblings, what the hell drove your 'rents to having that absurd number of kids? I mean really! One is enough. Two is even stretching it.

that's where d problem starts from 7 kids, we are just 3 I can tell u everybody character in my siblings, though sha na only my elder brother day act strange, like someone mentioned the elder tends to draw everyone back ward when everybody blood day hot to ginger for life
that was exactly what my mother planned to do before, indirectly separate the hux into 2
,my mother actually grew up in such home, so it was a norm to see all d kids under her control cus she feels dis one go quick succeed,but nature is unpredictable, na who she no even reason con go succeed, now shame don catch am,,no matter who a mother is u cant predict who will succeed first in ur children, now we day she looked down upon, back to back, find it difficult relating with her, such is life

In trying to wonder if this happens between other siblings of different families, I searched and arrived here.
For reasons not understood, in the 5 months during the lockdown I've stayed at my elder sister's place, she kept emotionally abusing and blackmailing me. It got to a head and my head was full.
I sunk into depression.

When something happened 2 days ago, I snapped.
I nearly choked her to death.

It was that bad.
My hand clinched onto her neck like a magnet. Her last option was to nearly chop off my thumb with her teeth. Looking back, I'm now wondering how bad things would've been if she didn't bite me. For me, it was pre-meditated. My mind was bitter, and I saw it as too much. Never held anyone on their neck before, till that day.

It is well.

Hausa:
In trying to wonder if this happens between other siblings of different families, I searched and arrived here.
For reasons not understood, in the 5 months during the lockdown I've stayed at my elder sister's place, she kept emotionally abusing and blackmailing me. It got to a head and my head was full.
I sunk into depression.

When something happened 2 days ago, I snapped.
I nearly choked her to death.

It was that bad.
My hand clinched onto her neck like a magnet. Her last option was to nearly chop off my thumb with her teeth. Looking back, I'm now wondering how bad things would've been if she didn't bite me. For me, it was pre-meditated. My mind was bitter, and I saw it as too much. Never held anyone on their neck before, till that day.

It is well.

She was emotionally abusing you and you stayed there? I trust myself for this kind of matter. Once I come to your house and you or maybe the husband of the sister start behaving like fuu. I'm out. Low tolerance

Sad reading tales of how siblings fall apart. Ever since the death of our dad 15 years ago, I have sworn as the firstling of the family non of my siblings will misbehave under my watch even in they're all married, no one nor their wives/husband ll divide our family and sound it every time we had family meeting.
It's working and hope to sustain it till I breath my last. So help me God.

This thread is a typical of how NL used to be. Sane and matured comments/conversations. Reading through the pages is worth it.

But nowadays, we see all manner.

If it's not "i smell lie", it would be afonja or Igbo.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who noticed many people on NL got ruder and unruly. And I'm suspecting its the new generation of people who just grew to the age of using a phone, and may others who are just catching up to using smart phones.