I'm positive that a lot of the christian members here are either married or involved in a relationship of some sort with a member of the opposite s[i]e[/i]x. In the face of a deluge of sexually charged imagery that seems to have taken over our society, i find that there is very little out there in terms of examples of what a God-centered, true christian relationship ought to be like.

Is anyone out there willing to share their own experiences?

God-centered? You mean, religion-centered relationship. Dude, any religion-centered relationship between a man and a woman can never be romantic. FACT.

Jenwitemi: God-centered? You mean, religion-centered relationship. Dude, any religion-centered relationship between a man and a woman can never be romantic. FACT.

God-centered means just that - God-centered.
I dont have a clue about "religion-centered" relationships... pls see above. Thank you.

Logic mind . . . .

This topic is supposed to be a christian only topic why are you trolling?. . .Leave the OP and his people to share ideas and experiences with each other abeg. . . .

mazaje: Logic mind . . . .

This topic is supposed to be a christian only topic why are you trolling?. . .Leave the OP and his people to share ideas and experiences with each other abeg. . . .

I am Logicboy not logicmind, dont be dyslexic!

Christian only? My muslim friends also have a God (Allah) centred relationship.

^^

What ever. . . .

God is not a liar,
You can be romantic without sex.Infact romance without sex is more matured
It is really not easy to be chaste in a courtship, but it is possible.
You have to make rules.
Mine was never to stay indoors with my fiance alone with doors closed.
We always arranged our meetings outside, parks, eateries etc.
RememberMary/Joseph werec courting before Jesus was borne

There is nothing like a God-centered relationship between a man and a woman, mate. A God-centered relationship is merely a religious one between a human and the deity he/she worships and that can never be romantic.

davidylan:

God-centered means just that - God-centered.
I dont have a clue about "religion-centered" relationships... pls see above. Thank you.

Jenwitemi: There is nothing like a God-centered relationship between a man and a woman, mate. A God-centered relationship is merely a religious one between a human and the deity he/she worships and that can never be romantic.

Huh? Exactly what sort of nonsense are we always forced to read from these folks?
The fact that you've never experienced something doesnt mean it ceases to exist no?

Mazaje thank you as always.

At atheists on this thread, do not crash or derail the topic. I don't know why you guys always see the need to crash christian topics without disruptive comments. If you have nothing to contribute to the topic, its not by force to post, go and make your own topic.

any repeat trouble makes should expect a ban. Thanks.

---

@David, can you clarify, what sort of examples do mean?

JeSoul: Mazaje thank you as always.

At atheists on this thread, do not crash or derail the topic. I don't know why you guys always see the need to crash christian topics without disruptive comments. If you have nothing to contribute to the topic, its not by force to post, go and make your own topic.

any repeat trouble makes should expect a ban. Thanks.

---

@David, can you clarify, what sort of examples do mean?

I am so scared, Jesoul wants to ban me!!!

On a serious note, a Godly relationship in the bible prohibits sex before marriage. Sex before marriage is almost impossible or at least very hard to achieve. Also, we are animals and we always have to be sexually attracted to a person of the opposite sex before marriage. No one dates/marries someone that they dont want to have sex with later.

A godly or religous relationship is impossible unless you're a eunuch

logicboy:

I am so scared, Jesoul wants to ban me!!!

Jesoul takes no pleasure in the banning of anyone. I'm only for posters to respect each other and respect the topic the same way they will like to be respected. The topic calls for input from christians on their experiences with relationships...it will be nice of our atheist friends to respect that and stay off since they can't contribute to the thread.

On a serious note, a Godly relationship in the bible prohibits sex before marriage. Sex before marriage is almost impossible or at least very hard to achieve. Also, we are animals and we always have to be sexually attracted to a person of the opposite sex before marriage. No one dates/marries someone that they dont want to have sex with later.

A godly or religous relationship is impossible unless you're a eunuch

All fine & dandy and this is your opinion - as an atheist. Those of us christians, especially those of us who have dated and & married, know and have experienced otherwise.

logicboy:

I am so scared, Jesoul wants to ban me!!!

On a serious note, a Godly relationship in the bible prohibits sex before marriage. Sex before marriage is almost impossible or at least very hard to achieve. Also, we are animals and we always have to be sexually attracted to a person of the opposite sex before marriage. No one dates/marries someone that they dont want to have sex with later.

A godly or religous relationship is impossible unless you're a eunuch

Sex before marriage is not difficult to achieve at all. the problem is many of us have been programmed into believing that love = sex.

JeSoul:
@David, can you clarify, what sort of examples do mean?

I was meaning to ask those who are either married or have been in long-term christian-centered relationships to share with us some of their experiences growing and bonding with their mates. One of the issues was that raised by logicboy - what was your rule regarding sex before marriage? Where there any boundaries that you set for your relationship? Especially for the guys, how did you approach being the spiritual leader in your relationship BEFORE marriage?

will add more as i think of them. Amazing how there is no book on "christian relationships for dummies".

JeSoul: Jesoul takes no pleasure in the banning of anyone. I'm only for posters to respect each other and respect the topic the same way they will like to be respected. The topic calls for input from christians on their experiences with relationships...it will be nice of our atheist friends to respect that and stay off since they can't contribute to the thread.

All fine & dandy and this is your opinion - as an atheist. Those of us christians, especially those of us who have dated and & married, know and have experienced otherwise.

Wow, so christians are now denying that majority of them have had sex before marriage? Wow.

davidylan:

Sex before marriage is not difficult to achieve at all. the problem is many of us have been programmed into believing that love = sex.



I was meaning to ask those who are either married or have been in long-term christian-centered relationships to share with us some of their experiences growing and bonding with their mates. One of the issues was that raised by logicboy - what was your rule regarding sex before marriage? Where there any boundaries that you set for your relationship? Especially for the guys, how did you approach being the spiritual leader in your relationship BEFORE marriage?

will add more as i think of them. Amazing how there is no book on "christian relationships for dummies".

Sex before marriage is almost impossible. Only few people can claim to be virgins on their wedding day. Even if soemeone did not have sex before marriage, how did the person get attracted to the partner? Didnt the person think of the partner sexually? Ehem that is fornication

davidylan:
I was meaning to ask those who are either married or have been in long-term christian-centered relationships to share with us some of their experiences growing and bonding with their mates. One of the issues was that raised by logicboy - what was your rule regarding sex before marriage? Where there any boundaries that you set for your relationship? Especially for the guys, how did you approach being the spiritual leader in your relationship BEFORE marriage?

will add more as i think of them. Amazing how there is no book on "christian relationships for dummies".

David have you forgotten this thread? https://www.nairaland.com/399034/does-this-make-me-carnal/1#5526063 Plenty of solid inputs from all angles. Its a pity this isn't an exclusive & condusive place to share, men, the stories I could give you lol.

Anyways my short & general 2 cents before I siddon, sex is as natural as the air and it would be a problem for you not to be attracted to your partner, big problem lol. One thing I can definitively say is if your heart is in the right place and your maturity is on point before heading into a serious relationship, the desire to be obedient to God will overcome your desire to compromise. Additionally, I knew many christians who set rules & boundaries, I didn't, I believed that as a christian led by the Spirit you would know when you were crossing a line you're not supposed to. Some things work for some couples, others don't. I instead relied heavily on having that 'peace from/of God' rather than 'rules & regulations' in 100% of the decisions I made and I have not regretted it. No couple will be perfect, but at least they can boast of putting God first in spite of any mistakes they might make.

JeSoul:
David have you forgotten this thread? https://www.nairaland.com/399034/does-this-make-me-carnal/1#5526063 Plenty of solid inputs from all angles. Its a pity this isn't an exclusive & condusive place to share, men, the stories I could give you lol.

Anyways my short & general 2 cents before I siddon, sex is as natural as the air and it would be a problem for you not to be attracted to your partner, big problem lol. One thing I can definitively say is if your heart is in the right place and your maturity is on point before heading into a serious relationship, the desire to be obedient to God will overcome your desire to compromise. Additionally, I knew many christians who set rules & boundaries, I didn't, I believed that as a christian led by the Spirit you would know when you were crossing a line you're not supposed to. Some things work for some couples, others don't. I instead relied heavily on having that 'peace from/of God' rather than 'rules & regulations' in 100% of the decisions I made and I have not regretted it. No couple will be perfect, but at least they can boast of putting God first in spite of any mistakes they might make.

Fantastic thread JeSoul, i will be devouring that all night!
Thanks for your 2cents, i naturally do not believe in setting rules either. the first time i tried it, i broke them within 3 months and that was primarily because rather than dwelling more on God's rules, i spent too much time trying to keep mine. It is naturally impossible to be pure in a relationship without God's help and grace.

I just checked out topics that are trending on NL and discovered that 80% of these topics are in the romance and sexuality sections. It makes me wonder. . .it really makes me wonder.
I really wish there will be more input from Christians because this is a topic I am VERY interested in. Setting boundaries in my past relationships was a very big challenge for me,and it always made me wonder if there were any truely commited Christian men out there who understand the meaning of abstinence. I have never come across them. All the "spiri-koko" Christian dudes that have come to me are the bible thumping,foaming in the mouth,over-zealous types with no drop of laughter in their blood, and they repelled rather than attracted me. Fire breathing niggas in the open,som'n a lil bit different behind closed doors...One of them was even a gospel singer!! Had to cut and use okada to flee from such relationships
because I can't be unequally yoked such people.
So as it stands I have no experience whatsoever in a God-based relationship and I would really love to read from those who have been fortunate enough to have had the experience.
Or perhaps they are all in the romance and sexuality section of Nairaland...who knows...
Jus finking aloud sha :-D

davidylan:

Fantastic thread JeSoul, i will be devouring that all night!
Thanks for your 2cents, i naturally do not believe in setting rules either. the first time i tried it, i broke them within 3 months and that was primarily because rather than dwelling more on God's rules, i spent too much time trying to keep mine. It is naturally impossible to be pure in a relationship without God's help and grace.

WORD

Ishilove: I just checked out topics that are trending on NL and discovered that 80% of these topics are in the romance and sexuality sections. It makes me wonder. . .it really makes me wonder.
I really wish there will be more input from Christians because this is a topic I am VERY interested in. Setting boundaries in my past relationships was a very big challenge for me,and it always made me wonder if there were any truely commited Christian men out there who understand the meaning of abstinence. I have never come across them. All the "spiri-koko" Christian dudes that have come to me are the bible thumping,foaming in the mouth,over-zealous types with no drop of laughter in their blood, and they repelled rather than attracted me. Fire breathing niggas in the open,som'n a lil bit different behind closed doors...One of them was even a gospel singer!! Had to cut and use okada to flee from such relationships
because I can't be unequally yoked such people.
So as it stands I have no experience whatsoever in a God-based relationship and I would really love to read from those who have been fortunate enough to have had the experience.
Or perhaps they are all in the romance and sexuality section of Nairaland...who knows...
Jus finking aloud sha :-D

What can you do? I also find it odd that this is a subject christians seem to shy away from as if it somehow is not important or we are too "spiritual" to deal with reality. I remember my dad didnt even want to hear the word "dating" around the house.
The reason i posted this thread was simple - i am not proud to say this but i have been on both sides of the coin - relationships outside marriage that involved intimacy and some that didnt and i have come to one simple conclusion... intimacy is a cancer that erodes the quality of your relationship over time.
Once you eat that fruit, you cant stop and a woman who once was your object of your admiration becomes nothing more than a sex object, a stock that is fast depreciating in value. Relationships without intimacy can be tough in a world that is filled with sexual inuendoes but they are the most satisfying. You TRULY get to know and enjoy spending time with your significant other AS AN INDIVIDUAL and not merely as another log to take to bed.
Do other christians have the same experience?

There are prolly more christians out there who have had such negative experiences than we can imagine

Jenwitemi: God-centered? You mean, religion-centered relationship. Dude, any religion-centered relationship between a man and a woman can never be romantic. FACT.

you wouldnt understand cos u dont have God in ur life

davidylan: I'm positive that a lot of the christian members here are either married or involved in a relationship of some sort with a member of the opposite s[i]e[/i]x. In the face of a deluge of sexually charged imagery that seems to have taken over our society, i find that there is very little out there in terms of examples of what a God-centered, true christian relationship ought to be like.

Is anyone out there willing to share their own experiences?

I really doubt if u'll find lots of examples. This lustful world we've found ourselves in, coupled with the societal ills can lead people into temptation easily

well fortunately for me, or should i say unfortunately, i was a filthy heathen when i met the missus and she was a heathen too. so we were being intimate like crazy and smoked some weed too . further down the line we both got the calling to live decent lives governed by the laws of God. fortunately for us, when we got to this level, there was no issue of sexual tension cuz we had done it numerous times when we were heathens. so the life is basically more relaxed. nothing heavy. lost interest in going out to party. so we basically chill, read, eat, read the bible, and go on the net. now if i was in the lord before i got involved with any woman ? unless you were ready to marry, i would say it is a bad idea. like whats the purpose of it ? just so you can sit and talk to someone of the opposite sex ? there is no purpose in being in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex if you are not married. it is counter-productive, distracting, creates unnecessary friction and confusion and just plain crazy and stupid. its like being locked in a chocolate shop and being told not to eat any. its just pointless. waste of time and energy. and just on a side-note, sex is marriage in the eyes of the lord. all that other extra ceremony on the side ? thats mans tradition. Gods tradition is, sex is marriage. genesis 24 vs 67. genesis 2 vs 24

God centered relationships dont differ from heathen relationships. only difference is you have limits and boundaries. you can be romantic if thats your personality. you can be touchy feely if thats your personality.

buzugee:
God centered relationships dont differ from heathen relationships. only difference is you have limits and boundaries. you can be romantic if thats your personality. you can be touchy feely if thats your personality.

Aha,I do not agree with this paragraph,Mr Buzugee!!
Don't ye know that touchy feely will provoke the raging beast in a human's loins? For me the touchy feely should not go beyond the occasional LIGHT kiss (emphasis),hugs and hand holding. Avoid touching the more sensitive areas of the anatomy, like the mammary organs and butt. If you know that by nature you are easily sexually provoked,avoid been alone with ur partner 'cos it is when you are alone together that the devil will come and start ministering to you (I learnt about this the hard way). That is when you will notice how muscular your man's abs are,or the size and shape of ur woman's behind.
And most importantly,PRAY. We can lay down all manner of rules, but it is only divine grace that can enable those rules work for us.

Why do christians lie so much? How many people here on this thread can actually swear that they did not have Bleep before marriage if they are married? Or how many can swear that they have not touched the body of their partner?

What is a God-centered relationship? Is it ok to get married to your half sister? Abraham was married to his half sister in the bible.

There is no such thing as God centered relationship. We are animals, our relationship with the opposite gender will always be driven by Bleep.

Here is a stumbling block for christians; Gay divorce rates are lower than heterosexual divorce rates in the UK and USA- FACT

http://www.usnews.com/news/articles/2011/07/06/divorce-rates-lower-in-states-with-same-sex-marriage
http://www.advocate.com/News/Daily_News/2011/09/27/UK_Straight_Divorce_Rate_Outstrips_Gay_Dissolutions/

I am a happily married lady in my 4th year and going strong. God centred relationship is possible. I am a living proof. Had a 3 year courtship and NO intimacy beyond hugs took place. And i had no prior 'messing up' with anybody. At the beginning of the relationship we made a vow to keep it clean and kept it. I know of a couple of friends who could say the same thing.

tiarabubu: I am a happily married lady in my 4th year and going strong. God centred relationship is possible. I am a living proof. Had a 3 year courtship and NO intimacy beyond hugs took place. And i had no prior 'messing up' with anybody. At the beginning of the relationship we made a vow to keep it clean and kept it. I know of a couple of friends who could say the same thing.

1)Do you know if your partner had fooled around before marriage?
2)Did your vow include no "masatbation"?
3)Were you not sexually attracted to your partner in the first place?

REPENT!What if this has happened to you? http://heavenandhellstories..com/2012/04/seeing-hell-before-death.html

Why does the Christian definition of marriage has to be an elaborate occasion where some priest declares you man and wife? I am yet to read in the Bible where the Lord says this must be the case?

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh, So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate

If by the understanding of this passage, i leave my parent's house and begin leaving with my girlfriend, why must this be wrong? why must it take a priest and a church to declare you man and wife?

God is not a liar,
You can be romantic without sex.Infact romance without sex is more matured
It is really not easy to be chaste in a courtship, but it is possible.
You have to make rules.
Mine was never to stay indoors with my fiance alone with doors closed.
We always arranged our meetings outside, parks, eateries etc.
RememberMary/Joseph werec courting before Jesus was borne

Not in this present times. We have more hypocrites now than ever!

How can we always meet in outside, parks, eateries etc. This is not the kind of relationships that people want.