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Stats: 2,159,945 members, 4,705,321 topics. Date: Saturday, 19 January 2019 at 05:11 AM
Poll: Would u do the same if u were in my shoes?Yes: 25% (1 vote)
No: 50% (2 votes)
Maybe: 25% (1 vote)
This poll has ended
|Re: PLSSSS Y'ALL I NEED ADVISE! by AmeriBeauty: 3:05pm On Apr 25, 2012|
Sometimes it is challenging to go against our parent's wishes, but as children we must realize that they are not always right. If you feel that your husband is the man that God ordain for you and he feels the same then trust that you have made the righteous decision. No one is going to live with and seek to please your husband whether he be American or Nigerian. God is going to hold you accountable, not your family.
Lastly, God is the creator of reconcilation. "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and all of His righteousness and all other things will be added." In other words pray to God and allow him to change the hearts of your family. It may not happen over night, but that is not your burden to bare. The other thing that I would consider because she is your mother, and in all things we should show them honor (even in their wrongness...notice I said honor and not total submission)send her flowers and a card from you and your husband....signed by both...do not talk about the issue, but something that communicates that you both are thinking of her and love her. Mother's Day is coming up. With these type of actions love, let God be the judge of all.
Oh! You should pray that your mom forgives you and your husband (this is not to admit that you were wrong), that she know that you love her, and that she is delivered from the pains of her past that would cause her to respond in such a manner. Sometimes people suffer from levels of pain and dissapointments that are not evident nor would they ever reveal to others
I pray that God richly blesses you and your family.
|Re: PLSSSS Y'ALL I NEED ADVISE! by Saraha1(f): 4:55pm On Apr 25, 2012|
Really do nt kwn wht to say
|Re: PLSSSS Y'ALL I NEED ADVISE! by ennkey(f): 3:40pm On Apr 30, 2012|
Just want to say thank you to everybody for your comments, i appreciate y'all. God bless u.
|Re: PLSSSS Y'ALL I NEED ADVISE! by walex57(m): 5:46am On Aug 30, 2012|
ennkey: My bf and i started dating in 2005. He was an undergraduate when we met and i was yet to be admitted into a higher institution. I was not from a well to do home same as my bf too.I had lost my dad in 1998 and my mum did all she could to raise my siblings and i.she hawked through rain and shine jst to put food on the table. To cut d story short in 2008, fortune smiled on us.My aunt in the states showed a colleague of her's (An American) my mum's picture and he fell in love with her instantly. He came down to Africa to see her, he fell in love with her and was moved to tears at the story of how we suffered after we lost my dad. They got married and after 10 months we all moved down to the united states and have been living there since 2009. It wasnt easy for me and my guy as we were soooo much in love,we both cried our eyes out for a whole week before i travelled because we couldnt bear the thought of being seperated from each other. We made promises to each other that we would wait and distance would not be a barrier to what we both shared. It wasnt easy being apart but we did all we could to make sure it worked and it did. We decided to formalize our union last year and i informed my mother of our intention but to my shock! she said over her dead body would i marry him. she said i have moved out of Nigeria for good and there's no looking back that i should look for someone else here in the states and settle down with. My mum and my aunt had tried matchmaking me with people they deemed fit for me to marry but i made them know that my heart belongs to someone else back in Nigeria. My mum turned the whole family against me and they all would not even give me a listening ear, they say my mum has suffered too much in the past for my siblings and i, and that now i have to make her happy by marrying who she wills. I did what i deemed the best thing at dat moment i travelled down to naija in january this year without notifying any of my family members xcept for my sis who is also my best friend. my bf nd i went down to marriage registry to consolidate our relationship with the hope that my mum would change her mind soon so we can have a white wedding. I returned back to d states after 4weeks only to find out dat my mum had found out frm a friend of her's who saw me @d registry on d day of the marriage. Right now as i write my entire family does not talk to me, my mum had called nd left voice messages saying dat i should neva call her fone or d house fone, nd dat i should nt even attend her funeral should incase she dies. I dont know what to do right now, i mean where or wat did i do wrong by loving a man who loves me equally or even more! i have begged nd sent piple to beg her on my behalf bt all to no avail. plssssssssssssss wat do i do nxt?I'm sorry if this is coming in late...well i dunno whatever might have caused ur mum to react the way she did and you also d way u did but i guess two wrongs doesn't make a right...if the reason for your mum's refusal is because life wasn't fair on her in nigeria and 'cos of that reacting to whoever you love...then that's very wrong (permit me to say) whether she likes it or yes...Nigeria still flows in her system even if she ends up becoming a citizen or even a governor or congresswoman in the states...she was born and bred in nigeria...everything happens for a reason and if she never suffered back home she may never have met her husband now...everything in life is a puzzle (pls pardon me to say...the death of your dad was also part of the puzzle) she should put all these into consideration...and yes about your bf, well did u ever ask your mum to give very "private" and "convincing" reasons why she didn't accept the guy?...something may have happened and she doesn't wanna say it out....you going ahead to get married without your mum's consent was equally wrong...parents blessings are very essential to the success of a marriage ( call me superstitious) but it's the fact....since u could still live apart from ur bf (i.e return to the states without him) then why the rush for a marriage....why not convince your mum and family even if it'll take a decade...yes!a decade to show how much u really love this guy...remember a thousand broken relatnshps is better than a broken marriage or a broken home...IMHO..Cheers
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