When a gasly motor accident happens with the car just in Gear 1....
When police shots an armed robber in a glass store without breaking d glasses.

actually Nollywood had me wondering if all parents in 9ja address/call their child as MY DAUGHTER/MY SON........ i thought parents called their children by their names? is it me or Nollywood?!

1. When you see a woman going down on her knees to beg a bad guy to stay with her.
2. When you cannot connect the title of the movie to the script; titles like "Fine Things", "A Cup on the Table", "White Wall", "Two Envelopes", "The Grey Coat" are not uncommon. Never mind the story won't be in any way related to the title.
3. When you watch a "love scene" with no fo[i]r[/i]eplay, rather a below par delivery of people mimicking the sexual act.
4. When the mother-in-law has to be evil.
5. When a husband MUST have a mistress (you'd think there're no married men who are faithful to their wives).
6. When juju is the solution to everything, including a man who is not interested in a woman.
7. When a woman carries herself so delicately like an egg because she's 2-months pregnant; (NB: Many women even exercise when they are 7 and a half months pregnant, but these ones feel that with a 2-month pregnancy they are the most delicate eggs in town).
8. When people have nothing else important to do in their lives besides plotting on how to get a man to marry.
9. When someones goes to the village to visit his/her mum and the first thing she asks him/her is "Have you found a girl to marry yet?" or "When am I going to see my son-in-law?" or constantly reminding them that they are not getting any younger. Everything about that spells N-O-L-L-Y-W-O-O-D.
10. When a pregnant woman walks around holding her stomach.
11. When a rich man is always picked over a man with a good personality.
12. When the movie credentials include the movie "editor" who's edited nothing. Scenes of actors brushing their teeth for 7 minutes or chopping onions for 13 minutes are common.
13. When a man wants to marry a woman he's known for only 3 hours.
14. When a man wants to marry a woman because "she's very beautiful". None of them WILL EVER talk of compatibility or personality or intelligence.

Good Girl: 1.
14. When a man wants to marry a woman because "she's very beautiful". None of them WILL EVER talk of compatibility or personality or intelligence.

thats not true

onila:
that's not true

Trust me child, I've watched that on numerous occasions.
Am still a Nollywood fan though.

When there is a five minutes shot of people's feet.

When the actor is doing a flash-back and the flash-back includes scenes he wasn't in. How can you remember what you didn't know happened

Story writer: Nkechi Duker
Welfare: Yetunde Duker
Assistant Producer: Nkechi Duker
Producer: Fidelis Duker
Director: Fidelis Duker

When people are sitting and chatting then suddenly, a specific news item comes up on the TV (a tv that was silent when they were chatting). Immediately after that news, the tv goes off and they continue their discussion. Is like the purpose of the TV is the news they need to hear.

folahann: When people are sitting and chatting then suddenly, a specific news item comes up on the TV (a tv that was silent when they were chatting). Immediately after that news, the tv goes off and they continue their discussion. Is like the purpose of the TV is the news they need to hear.

You are so clever! I was going to mention this too

When someone is involved in an accident, he/she will die at the hospital after doctors have tried to save his/her life in vain. No one dies on the spot.

Mike Ezuruonye and Ini Edo must act as lovers, never as cousins or siblings, or even just casual neighbours.
Same with Genevieve and Ramsey (or any other light-skinned actor from either Nigeria or Ghana).

when you see the same set of actors and actresses everytime.

When a theif gets shot in the leg only for him to get to the hospital and have his head wraped with bandage.
Or when gunshots sounds like clapping.
Or when they flash back to 40yrs ago, and the actor doesn't change one bit.

when they advertise new films every 15 mins

LOL, this thread is so funny. but u guy forget to observe chiwetalagu, wen u see him in any movie u know evil is about to take place

When every native doctor is always a wide eyed poverty stricken old man usually painted like a clown every time he's shown, date and time irrespective; I mean do the real ones really paint like that every day of their lives?

When d roles of mother and son played by a particular set of actors in one film could reversed as Father and daughter played by same set of actors in another film

when a girl must die of an abortion!Nigerian films too like to exagerrate,abortion is not that dangerous like they depict

When someone runs for his life, after running about 250 meters the actor is not panting at all.

When an actress gets up frm bed in the morning and the face is as fresh as if she just had foto shoot session.

When he goes to visit the tomb of someone that was buried last week but the tomb looks very old like 50yrs.

When a guy bursts the driver-side front-wheel tyre of his enemy's car but when his enemy got to his car, the flat tyre is at back-wheel owner's coner.

lepasharon: when a girl must die of an abortion!Nigerian films too like to exagerrate,abortion is not that dangerous like they depict

this is just the beginning

watch out for part two

lepasharon: when a girl must die of an abortion!Nigerian films too like to exagerrate,abortion is not that dangerous like they depict

who says abortion is not that dangerous?

Too funny @ all the various listings of the ridiculous in Nollywood .

Here's my contribution:

- rings presented at proposals hardly come out of a box/case, but pockets...
- a 4 yr old child looks like a 10 yr old.
- they're meant to be located in Lagos, but you see street signs indicative of Enugu.
- a toy helicopter is dangled in a police chase.
- no actress has hair anymore, all have weaves/wigs and acrylic nails..
- only the main actors/actresses are used for the production, all others are wooden extras given a few lines as friends or family members.
- only poor/unsophisticated people eat eba, amala, etc.. the rich only eat fried rice and obese chicken, with the camera ogling the food.
- the women are always desperate for the rich men who are all 'chiefs.'
- an actress just passing jamb in the previous shot is now finished with youth corp a year later. Even with multiple promotion in university - abeg!

and on and on.....

I tire for their nonsense, but still love me a growing Nollywood . Let's encourage them, hopefully they're peeking into this thread and taking note.

Lol ok here's mine
1 jim ikyes emotional range is to force tears out of his eyes without facial expressions to back it up
2 a film produced by emem isong starring mercy johnson desmond elliot omoni oboli etc always has the soundtrack "LIFE CAN BE SOOOOOOO HARD!"
3 village girls always have well manicured nails
4like some one said u wonder if the films are set in nigeria cos the chief/king always behaves like he's the judiciary legislature executive rolled up in one
5 olu jacobs grunts
6 pete edochie always uses silly animal metaphors "u have stepped on the tail of the lion who was chatting to the tiger while eating the he-goat
7 with flash backs u can solve all things in yoruba movies
8 the lead actress especially yoruba films) almost always introduces her cleavage to the audience
9 the police are super efficient
10 as the credits roll they show the making of the rubbish film we just finished watching

lepasharon: when a girl must die of an abortion!Nigerian films too like to exagerrate,abortion is not that dangerous like they depict

Is it possible u r talking from personal experience?

ayusco: Lol ok here's mine
1 jim ikyes emotional range is to force tears out of his eyes without facial expressions to back it up
2 a film produced by emem isong starring mercy johnson desmond elliot omoni oboli etc always has the soundtrack "LIFE CAN BE SOOOOOOO HARD!"
3 village girls always have well manicured nails
4like some one said u wonder if the films are set in nigeria cos the chief/king always behaves like he's the judiciary legislature executive rolled up in one
5 olu jacobs grunts
6 pete edochie always uses silly animal metaphors "u have stepped on the tail of the lion who was chatting to the tiger while eating the he-goat
7 with flash backs u can solve all things in yoruba movies
8 the lead actress especially yoruba films) almost always introduces her cleavage to the audience
9[b] the police are super efficient[/b]
10 as the credits roll they show the making of the rubbish film we just finished watching

kool J:


Is it possible u r talking from personal experience?

.....When one wakes up from a nightmare screaming ......

a ghost looks left and right for oncoming traffic before crossing the road