Dear Taiwo,
I pray the Lord will continue to bless you and strengthen you to carry on the good work. I am in a state of total confusion. I will appreciate if you keep my identity private. I committed an abomination. I don’t want your readers to know my identity, but I will cherish their advice and counsel because I know that I need help.

Let me start by saying that I don’t need anyone to tell me what I did was bad, I am aware of that. But anyone who had at one time or the other been desperate about anything will understand me.

I wouldn’t say I regret the situation, but I wish it were otherwise. I will only introduce myself as a minister of the word. That is the only form of identification I will give. Although, I am not fully into the ministry, I have another job.

I met my wife when I was in my final year at the university. We were mates, but we studied different courses. Both of us were members of the Christian Union on the campus. In fact, I would say that, my faith was stronger than hers then because several times she would have backslidden, but I was always there to encourage her.

Right from day one that I asked her out, I told her of my intention – which was to marry her. Because we were Christians, it was expected that we maintained a strictly no-sex relationship before marriage.

We both consented to that. It wasn’t that both of us were novices, we had had relationships and seen a little of the world, so to say before we gave our lives to Christ, so maintaining a no-sex relationship was very easy for us.

We got married seven years after we met each other. For some, it was too long a courtship but it was by choice. We agreed that we must attain a level of comfort before tying the nuptial knot.

While we were waiting, I received a call to go into the vineyard, I agreed and took up the mantle, but I still had the opportunity to continue with my career.

Our joy knew no bounds the day my wife and I finally became husband and wife. As expected, our first night together was fulfilling and so were the subsequent days. I can say and beat my chest that we had and enjoyed a blissful and happy married life.

Our happiness, however, became short-lived when two years after our marriage we were yet to be blessed with the fruit of the womb.For my wife and I, we had no problems because we believed and knew that at His time, the Lord would bless us.

This however wasn’t the impression of our family members from both sides. The pressure became more serious when we were unable to have a child after seven years of marriage.

Let me however state that we did not rely on religion alone, we also sought medical help. We took several tests and went through a lot of treatment, the result stated that both of us were okay, nothing was wrong with us and we could have children.

Our patience and comforting words from the doctors and those who understood us however became inadequate when after nine years of marriage, the story remained the same. As if we did not have enough on our hands; my wife’s attitude also changed and our once peaceful home became a lion’s den and I began to dread going home.

We stopped praying together; in fact we stopped doing so many other things together. She began to blame me for our childlessness. Her attitude changed because I refused to follow her to all the places her mother took her to.

In a bid to help us, my mother-in-law invited us to go to some spiritual churches and even visit Muslim scholars (Alfas). I refused, and because of my refusal, my wife began to accuse me of several things.

In fact, sometimes for months, she would refuse to have sex with me and several times I pointed out to her that, a baby won’t jump into her womb. God, who ordained marriage as one of the tools of procreation, meant business.

At times, like this her excuses were that she was on a concoction or the other and she had been advised to abstain from sex, sometimes she would go away from home for days. Her father was dead and there wasn’t anybody I could report her to in her family.

When I couldn’t stand what was going on any longer, I confided in my parents. My mother advised that if following her to all these places would give us the joy of a child, I should consider it, but my father advised that I should maintain my belief in God and at God’s time, our child would come.

My wife was very smart despite the challenges we were going through at home, outside home and in the church we were a happy couple.

I used to marvel at her change of attitude. The way she could switch from good to bad and vice versa, I give it to her that she was a good actress. Our marriage clocked 11 years in June last year but our situation remained the same, and I must confess to you that I became worried and sad about the situation too. I am only being human.

There was this lady in my office who also had a similar problem. She had been married for 15 years and of course, she was older than me, and childless. Sometime last year, precisely in April, her husband married a lady who got pregnant for him and brought her into their matrimonial home. When the situation became unbearable for her, she had to move out. She was always sad and probably because she knew my story too, she made me her confidant.

As expected, I led her to Christ and I always encouraged her and prayed with her that her husband would see the light and make amends.

As our relationship and friendship became serious, don’t get me wrong we had a platonic relationship; I began to visit her in her rented apartment.

One day, she didn’t come to the office; she called to inform us she was ill. After close of work, I stopped over to visit her. I was lonely at home and there was no evening service in the church. My wife once again had gone on one of her trips.

I didn't really know what came over me, but what I remembered was that I made love to this woman, not only that, I equally passed the night there. The following morning, I wished the ground would open up and swallow me.I raised my fears, but my colleague said there was nothing to it. Both of us were lonely and we helped each other, but we must ensure it did not happen again.

Don’t be shocked that it happened again several times.

Taiwo, I am in a deep mess. This lady told me two months ago that she was pregnant. I asked what would become of it, she told me not to worry myself that she was old enough to take care of her affairs.

How is that possible?

As if that was not enough, few days before she told me, the doctor confirmed that my wife was six weeks pregnant!

Please, somebody help me. I know I have betrayed not only human beings but God. How do I get out of this mess? Somebody, please, help me.

Anonymous.

Count your blessings name them one by one... This is a great testimony! I don't see what the problem is! Everything na double-double.

A betrayal to God and your wife but no need to crucify yourself also a blessing to the woman. All children are blessing from God. Your wife need not know for now mayb two years later you can tell her. I am sure the woman will be an excellent parent to her long awaited child. The child from wifey I would do a DNA test those long disappearances were too frequent. All in all not the most terrible of situations.

Op a very big congrats to u. U av no problem,ur wife gave u d reason to act such. Pls ask ur wife to go for a dna test,b sure it is comfirmed u are responsible for d pregnancy befor u acept it after all her long absence from home. As for d oda woman,it is d lords doing. It is indeed a big testimony as moremi as said.

^^^ . Would this be your reply if it was the wife that did this? They are both wrong and he shouldn't rejoice over cheating and getting a woman outside pregnant.... Nawa!

The problem here is that he cheated on her wife.He should confess that to her wife before the situation gets out of control.

This is very serious. You need to open up about this issue now before it takes a turn for the worse. Your father seems like a very smart man so I'm sure you can confide in him before bringing the matter to your wife. There is no easy way to break this news to your wife but you can careful with your words and attitude when talking to her. Since you are involved in the ministry I would suggest talking to your pastor honestly about what happened and seek counsel. I am glad you know what you did was wrong but how you react now will determine how this ends. Good luck and oh congrats!

Hmmmmm....pastor! U no try ooo. Ask God for forgiveness and go ahead n tell ur wife.look for a convenient place and time and disclose this to her,asking for her forgiveness.it won't be easy for her but with time,she'll accept the situation...hopefully.

Goodluck

jmoore: The problem here is that he cheated on her wife.He should confess that to her wife before the situation gets out of control.

You are right. He must do restitution in order to get a complete mercy from God. Now put yourself in your wife's shoe, if she was the one that gave you another man's child how would you feel? So if after restituting and she starts acting hot, endure. The two of you should discuss on what to do with the love child. You must compromise here because you were the one that erred. If she said, "no visting to the other woman and child" then you are to keep off from the other woman and child except if you want to lose your family to the other woman and child. You must choose between your family and the other woman except in the case where she agrees to accept the other child. Mind you that after she forgives you and tells you to cut off from the other woman and her child and you breached that contract, pardon me to tell you that your roof may catch fire, this time it will show that you are tired of your marriage and remember you cannot divorce for you have committed adultery already. Only your wife has that exclusive right now. Adultery in marriage is a hot and heart breaking situation coupled with when a child is involved. Just like a woman delivering another man's child for the husband and unknowingly for the husband, he will be jumping up and down in happiness that his own child has arrived whereas his wife had a night stand with another man who impregnanted her. Is a betrayal!

Praiseeeeeeeeee the Lord! Na God do this double blessing o! Even if na me be wifey, as long as u don't bring big mommy home we will be good.

Pray say I born boy o, Becos I no go want carry silver . Overall, go and settle with God first, madamu and wifey are going baby shopping together

These story sounds so sweet to be true, you know like it is staged to gather comments. Just saying.
q

The woman opened your peniis to impregnate women. Serial randyus pastor.
Next you will start testing it on your church members to know whether it is still working perfectly. Now you are blaming your wife, had it been you were caught in the act you will blame the devil as usual.
Congrats on what you will do in future cos the chain on your senile peniis has been broken by an adulterous sin so ironical. l
[quote][/quote]

Staged!

Good to know that the SO-CALLED BORN-AGAIN CHRISTIANS cannot keep their 'FAKE' vows!
MU CHE CHE CHE CHE CHE CHE

NA TODAY?
Much ado about nothing!
PLEASE, WE ARE AFRICANS. . . EVERY CHILD IS A BLESSING.
Chop ya BIBLE please!
EVEN YOUR LORD JESUS WAS AN ILLEGITIMATE CHILD!
Shiooooooooooooooooooor!!!!

taryour: Op a very big congrats to u. U av no problem,ur wife gave u d reason to act such. Pls ask ur wife to go for a dna test,b sure it is comfirmed u are responsible for d pregnancy befor u acept it after all her long absence from home. As for d oda woman,it is d lords doing. It is indeed a big testimony as moremi as said.

Excuse me?

The wife gave him a reason to cheat?
The child conceived in adultery is the Lord's doing?

You sure are serving a different God/Lord

To Anonymous,

You are in a situation which is simple and at the same time hard depending on where you stand. It is hard and difficult for you because of your position as a minister of the word. Hence, you believed you have betrayed the trust of your church members and people who hold you in high esteem.

To acknowledge your error and mistake is the first step in amending your ways with God. You have the large percentage of the problem so also your wife is to share in the blame. The devil only needs a very tiny space in our lives to accomplish his havoc. You and your wife gave him that long rope when you stopped praying together and when ungodly interferences set in. We all know the devil has only three simple mission, to kill, steal and destroy. That he has started in your home and ministry. However, hope is not lost.

There is no short cut to this issue, restitution must be made. You cannot cover sin with sin. bible says he that covereth his sin shall not prosper. Let your wife know what went wrong as well as the senior pastor in your church. Make amend with God for mercy and be ready to face whatever disciplinary measure the church will give you. You are not the first person for this to happen to neither will you be the last person. Infact, there are several minsiters in such mess but refused to open up, they are covering their multitude of sin. The difference is you will have eternal peace and comfort with God compared to the others.

It is well with you and may the Lord grant you grace and mercy to be able to stand this storm of life.

PS: Please do not let the other woman abort and help her in the path to restoration with God as you do too. Do not forget to do a DNA test if you have any doubt about any of the pregnancies.

Go for DNA test for both women! Not sure you are the father of any


Women sometimes can be desperate

Chillisauce: Go for DNA test for both women! Not sure you are the father of any


Women sometimes can be desperate

true talk

Chillisauce: Go for DNA test for both women! Not sure you are the father of any


Women sometimes can be desperate

Seconded

or someone else returned the favour

Chillisauce: Go for DNA test for both women! Not sure you are the father of any


Women sometimes can be desperate

you are on point but unfortunately if the wife's child isn't his, biblically he cannot divorce because he too is guilty of adultery. they can agree to take in the two kids as their own children but will be married and make love to one woman. i guess the man will understand this more because as a good church participant, he will be a bible candidate.

That's how debased our society has become.rejoicing in iniquity and bringing God into it.I wonder if another man also impregnated the woman how he would feel.I can't imagine a once happy home where husband impregnated another woman and wife got preggy for another woman.oro buruku tio shey gbo nita

recruitmnt: ^^^ . Would this be your reply if it was the wife that did this? They are both wrong and he shouldn't rejoice over cheating and getting a woman outside pregnant.... Nawa!

Doctor alabere you funny die

Dr young: These story sounds so sweet to be true, you know like it is staged to gather comments. Just saying.
q

The woman opened your peniis to impregnate women. Serial randyus pastor.
Next you will start testing it on your church members to know whether it is still working perfectly. Now you are blaming your wife, had it been you were caught in the act you will blame the devil as usual.
Congrats on what you will do in future cos the chain on your senile peniis has been broken by an adulterous sin so ironical. l