They are both willing and comfortable with the situation. But this is Nigeria, can it work?

I doubt if dats ever gonna work ooo... D age diffrence is just tooo much.

@topic

Nope

Well, depends. It might if you two are ready to go against all odd and believe what you both share will go a long way for you two
if she does not look her age and small in nature it might also serve as a form of advantage here
but in all, weigh the PRO's and CON's then decide
All the best

It might work. But depends on so many factor. The lady has a lot of work to do. Can she cope with such huge age difference?is she ready to submit to someone that young?does she want to marry him for now or till death do them part?can she take insults from him? The woman ages faster than the man, what are her plans to keep shape and still remain attractive? Hmmmm dicey coz love alone can't sustain this marriage a lot of other ingredient is needed.

Please, everything is possible but not everything is probable. The union is probably going to fail. A woman at 30 is a woman in full bloom but a man at 23 has barely even started! Once the sheen of romance and the flush of love wears off, the marriage was start to show cracks and then problems will start. He will suddenly open his yes to women closer to his age or younger, his friends will start to laugh at him, calling his wife "old cargo" or "mummy" and he will begin to feel trapped and insecure. There are lots of age-appropriate men out there. At 30, she still has time to find a suitable husband.

I am not saying that marriages with older wives don't work but 7years is a giant gap and it doesn't help at all that the husband is still so young. I would have said "yes" if the woman were 37 and the husband 30.

Yes it can work, depending on both of them. As long as, she makes him the man, of the home and her leader and also, he sees her as his princess and woman to be loved and cared for, . And also, pls for Godsake, use wisdom when listening to third parties, either family memembers or friends. Am engaged to be marrried to a younger guy, that has proven in various occasions that he sincerely wants me as his wife, mother of his kids and so ready to care for the new family we are about to create . He is so proud of my achievements, my look, and my strength, which older guys tend to shy away from. .Initially, i was sceptical due to our age difference but when i looked back on my past relationships with older guys,theres always this issue of being unnecessarily suspicious of me due my looks, which had been so frustrating for me. But with a younger guy, they have this fresh outlook that almost all women are good and to be trust, except been proved beyond doubts that she is not. They are not suspicious, they are not control freaks and they are not stingy ... my dear,pls follow your heart, be wise and be prayerful and best of luck. Its sure working for me.

victorian: Yes it can work, depending on both of them. As long as, she makes him the man, of the home and her leader and also, he sees her as his princess and woman to be loved and cared for, . And also, pls for Godsake, use wisdom when listening to third parties, either family memembers or friends. Am engaged to be marrried to a younger guy, that has proven in various occasions that he sincerely wants me as his wife, mother of his kids and so ready to care for the new family we are about to create . He is so proud of my achievements, my look, and my strength, which older guys tend to shy away from. .Initially, i was sceptical due to our age difference but when i looked back on my past relationships with older guys,theres always this issue of being unnecessarily suspicious of me due my looks, which had been so frustrating for me. But with a younger guy, they have this fresh outlook that almost all women are good and to be trust, except been proved beyond doubts that she is not. They are not suspicious, they are not control freaks and they are not stingy ... my dear,pls follow your heart, be wise and be prayerful and best of luck. Its sure working for me.

U r right indeed about d fresh outlook and less control issues. What's the age difference in your relationship?

In this very Naija,it wont work.Its either the OP forgets marriage and enjoy boyfriend-girlfriend status or she moves on.

The boy can date you forever though but marriage in this very Naija ?Not possible,even if the boy is an orphan with no known relatives.

^^^ and fa ibuo bu ndi Igbo, Kedi otu fa si che na oga dabara fa?

It won't work Abeg. In Nigeria of all places? Even same age people get their doses of talks, it is now a woman who is older than the man

Wake up.

@ idprincess, 4yrs difference.. He is so dark and dresses very professional, one could spot the difference btwn us , small sha we are even saving money to get a family car , immediately after marriage.

i think it can work, with good understanding between the two

chaircover: I wouldn't rule it out completely.

I know a couple where the wife had 2 kids and was 6 years older than the husband who had never had any kids. They went on to have another 4 kids together.

The marriage lasted a good 21 years before it broke up which is a lot longer than a lot of other marriages.

LOL I sound like UJU with all her "I saw" stories BTW where is she? Missing her o!

How old was the guy when they got married? The age gap itself is not the problem (although 7yrs is quite large by any standard). The real problem is tying down a 23yr old guy in this day and age that has barely tasted world and probably doesn't know what he wants yet. Everything might be fantastic now but give it a few years and the cracks will start to show. Good thing somebody mentioned the fact that women age faster than men. By the time the guy turns 30, this woman will be almost 40 (with a few kids and saggy body). That's when wahala go start. This marriage is unlikely to work. Let's keep it real.

@OP, abeg go ahead and marry the man. It's your life after all. Just don't forget that you were duly cautioned.

victorian: @ idprincess, 4yrs difference.. He is so dark and dresses very professional, one could spot the difference btwn us , small sha we are even saving money to get a family car , immediately after marriage.

two questions. First how did u handle pressure from family on both sides, and friends too. Secondly u keep mentioning ur looks. Might I ask how u look?

A 23yr old is a boy born in 1989 and a 30yr old is a girl born in 1982?

How can that work in Naija? The born barely knows anthing

dayokanu: A 23yr old is a boy born in 1989 and a 30yr old is a girl born in 1982?

How can that work in Naija? The born barely knows anthing

what are these things he should know but may not know due to his age.

chaircover: Truth be told, it depends on the maturity of the boy and his upbringing, life experience etc

one cant compare the maturity of a 23 year old orphan who has 4 junior siblings that he is fending for, to the 23 year old last kid who was born with a silver spoon and had househelps at his beck and call.

I finished school at 21, so while I had my own job and was responsible for my own finances that young, some 21 year olds are still at home with their parents washing cars every morning and busy chasing the housegirl round the house for sexx as soon as the parents set off for the office.

@poster like I said, there is a very slim chance that it may work but there are a lot of odds stacked against you so you need to think carefully not just about today but for the future.

I had a well-paying job at the age of 21 but I can reassure you that I was far from ready to marry because I didn't know what I wanted in life or in a woman. I was heedlessly cocky and hopelessly romantic. I needed to make some progress in my career; fall on my face and pick myself up; and get my heart broken to wisen up. I also needed to date a bunch of ladies to figure out what I want and need in a woman. I am immeasurably wiser now and I can't imagine what a disaster of a husband I would have been had I married at 23. In this modern world, a 23yr old might be man enough to make babies but is hardly old enough to be a stable, positive force as the head of home, especially when his wife is much older.

if a 23yr old naija boi can wed a 76yr old white woman
den yeah!

Maturity is the key here,frankly i don't think a 23 year old is mature enough for marriage especially with a 30year old woman.

I doubt if this will work. The boy barely know what he wants. He needs time to grow, experience and mature. He might be carried away by the immediate benefits he is currently enjoying in the relationship. Give him some more years to take charge of his life and you will discover that you will not make the list of the kind of women he wants as a wife.

When I was like 17-18 I had a girlfriend then that i thought was the best thing that could happen to me, If I had the chance(money and confidence) to marry then I would have married her.

When I look back nowadays, I would think to myself.

"WHAT WAS I SMOKING THEN?"

I dont know if your 23yr old Boy-toy is matured enough but most 23yr old are just starting life and still want to explore many things, In no time he would be bored and want to be a boy again NOT a married man

Back in the days a very close friend of mine married a lady that was 31 years old, he was 25 years old then. . .It started off very well, he had to run to lagos to live with her after the wedding cos he had just completed his nysc, his dad was dead and mum wasn't really against the marriage, his siblings and other relatives were completely against it, they got a couple of friends together( her friends mostly) ran to the registry and got married. . .The woman used to work in oceanic bank back in the days. . .He got a job some months after joining her in lagos, it was all good in the beginning but years into the wedding after 2 kids everything just crumbled. . .Issues bordering on respect, ego and what not. . .She was already close to her peak when they meet while he was just trying to find his feet, when he found his feet she could not take the back seat and allow him lead as a man, she still felt he was her smally whom she helped "raised" and showed the way. She felt he was her younger brother and always treated him as such. . .She just refused to accept he had come of age. . .

People also contributed to making him fell trapped in the marriage. .Our friend's kept calling her aunty all the time they just refused to see her as a friend's wife, they saw and treated her like an elder aunty or the way you will treat a mother's friend. . .Always throwing it at his face and reminding him that he married an old cargo(people will never let you be in Nigeria). . .Different issues, she was mostly selfish, the children had to attend the school she chose, always chosing where the family will spend the weekends or vacations, trying to instruct him on how to build his career etc. . .Last time I meet him in abuja they weren't together any more, the marriage was over. . . they have 2 lovely daughters. . .I really thought it would work and really supported them cos the lady is a good woman and very generous. . .Will a marriage between a 23 years old man and a 30 years old woman work in Nigeria?. . .Personally I don't think it will. . .The age difference is too much. . .

[/color][color=#006600] is this a child's play or what

@ topic,
Not in Nigeria, where a man/woman must fit a certain profile to be considered as a partner in a relationship. By "profile" I mean tribe, age group, dialect, accent, religious denomination, skin tone, among other trivial issues which only Nigerians table while scouting for partners.

dayokanu: When I was like 17-18 I had a girlfriend then that i thought was the best thing that could happen to me, If I had the chance(money and confidence) to marry then I would have married her.

When I look back nowadays, I would think to myself.

"WHAT WAS I SMOKING THEN?"

I dont know if your 23yr old Boy-toy is matured enough but most 23yr old are just starting life and still want to explore many things, In no time he would be bored and want to be a boy again NOT a married man

LMAO. What were you smoking then? V@gina. The love of V@gina is the root of all evil

idprincess: They are both willing and comfortable with the situation. But this is Nigeria, can it work?

Just becasue it didn't work for someone else why wouldn't it work for them. Would the question be da same if it were the other way around?

I agree with someone who said if the boy is mature enough to handle situations. The only issue I see is him not wanting children right away because she will want to have at least one before she hit 35. That will seperate him from the boy that he is.

Culture wise, I can see why the question would come up.

He isn't particular about waiting for kids. To a neutral person, d age difference isn't obvious physically. And he's been there done that. These are in response to the oft repeated comments so far.

dayokanu: When I was like 17-18 I had a girlfriend then that i thought was the best thing that could happen to me, If I had the chance(money and confidence) to marry then I would have married her.

When I look back nowadays, I would think to myself.

"WHAT WAS I SMOKING THEN?"

I don't know if your 23yr old Boy-toy is matured enough but most 23yr old are just starting life and still want to explore many things, In no time he would be bored and want to be a boy again NOT a married man

Everyone passes through this stage, including women. I know for sure that the type of guy I would date when I was 18-19 is the same type that pisses the daylights out of me now. I remember thinking to myself that no other guy could take the place of this boyfriend of mine then, but now, just like you, I also think to myself, "What madness had gotten into me?"

For sure, this 23-year old boy thinks he knows what he wants now. 3 years from now (when he'll be 26) he'll wish he had never married this woman. And the fact that most men grow backwards will not help much in making matters any better.

I doubt it but then again nothing is impossible.