Tindo na Tonde are identical twins. Tonde was married and Tindo was
single. Tindo had an old boat which was on the verge of becoming a wreck.

It so happened that Tindo’s boat sank on the same day that Tonde’s wife died.
A few days later a kindly old lady met Tindo on the street, and mistaking him
for Tonde said:" I am sorry to hear of your great loss, and you must feel terrible."

Tindo thinking the lady was talking about his boat replied;

"Ah, well, she was rotten. She had cracks at the back she smelled like rotten fish.
The first time I had a ride on her, she quickly got filled up with water like I had
never seen before in my whole life. She had a crack and a big hole in front which kept
on growing each and every time I used it. In time I could handle her alright,
but when someone else was using her she leaked like anything.

But what killed her, were 4 men who came wanting to take a ride on her and have some funny.
They borrowed her from me, but I warned them that she wasn't so hot, but the crazy fools tried,
to all go inside at the same time. It was too much for her and she cracked right up the middle! “

Tony married one of a pair of identical twins.
A few months later, he was in court filing for a divorce.
"Would you tell the court your reason for wanting a divorce," the judge said.
"Well, Your Honor," Bill began, "periodically my sister-in-law would come over
for a visit and because she and my wife are identical,
occasionally I'd end up making love to her by mistake."

"I understand they're identical twins, but surely there must be some difference
between the two women," said the judge.
"Precisely, Your Honor," replied Bill. "That's why I want a divorce."

A couple desperate to have a baby went to their priest and asked him to pray for them.
"Next week I am going to Rome and while I am there I will light a candle for you," he replied.

Three years later the priest returned to his parish and went to the young couple's house to visit.
He found the wife to be pregnant and busy attending to two sets of twins.
The priest felt very elated and asked the girl where her husband was so that he could congratulate him.

"He has gone away for a while," came the harried reply.
"Where has he gone?" asked the priest.
She replied," To Rome, to blow the damn candle out!"

Triplets from China: Fu, Bu and Chu emigrated to the USA from China.
They decided to become American citizens, and "Americanize" their names.

Bu, called himself "Buck."
Chu called himself "Chuck."
Fu decided to return to China.

A school inspector saw two little girls in the front row of a class and
they were absolutely identical. 'you must be twins', she said. ' no, miss,'
they answered together. 'Bot you are sisters, aren't you? he asked.' 'yes, miss,'
they replied.' and how old are you?'she asked.' we are nine,'they said at the same time.
'then you must be twins!' said the inspector. 'no, miss, we are triplets. but our sister has got flu.'

joerux60: Triplets from China: Fu, Bu and Chu emigrated to the USA from China.
They decided to become American citizens, and "Americanize" their names.

Bu, called himself "Buck."
Chu called himself "Chuck."
Fu decided to return to China.

The best joke here!

joerux60: A couple desperate to have a baby went to their priest and asked him to pray for them.
"Next week I am going to Rome and while I am there I will light a candle for you," he replied.

Three years later the priest returned to his parish and went to the young couple's house to visit.
He found the wife to be pregnant and busy attending to two sets of twins.
The priest felt very elated and asked the girl where her husband was so that he could congratulate him.

"He has gone away for a while," came the harried reply.
"Where has he gone?" asked the priest.
She replied," To Rome, to blow the damn candle out!"

Lol these jokes are amazing! More, More!

....................

Joerux, omo na you oh!
Best thread ever! No copy and paste.....and funny too! Nice one, keep it up

nice ones

Very funny jokes

thanx guys. here another one

The young girl was seated in her doctor's office.

"Our tests indicate that you are pregnant," said the
physician, "and there is every indication that you are going to have twins."

"But how can that be, doctor?" the girl protested.
"I've never been out on a double date in my life!"

Deep in the backwoods, a woman went into labour in the middle of the night,
and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity,
the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said,
"Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing."
Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. "Whoa there," said the doctor.
"Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down...I think there's another one coming."
Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl.
"No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern...it seems there's yet another one in there!" cried the doctor.
The father scratched his head in bewilderment and asked the doctor, "Do you think it's the light that's attracting them?"

joerux60: Deep in the backwoods, a woman went into labour in the middle of the night,
and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity,
the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said,
"Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing."
Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. "Whoa there," said the doctor.
"Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down...I think there's another one coming."
Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl.
"No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern...it seems there's yet another one in there!" cried the doctor.
The father scratched his head in bewilderment and asked the doctor, "Do you think it's the light that's attracting them?"

ignorance at its peak!

A woman, pregnant with triplets is walking down the road, when a masked robber runs out of
the bank and shoots her three times in the stomach. Luckily, the babies are ok.
The surgeon decides to leave the bullets in because it is risky to operate.

All is fine for sixteen years, then one daughter walks into the room crying.
“What’s wrong?”, asks the mother.
“I was taking pee and this bullet came out.”, replied the daughter.
The mother tells her its ok and explains to her what happened 16 years ago.
About a week later the second daughter comes with the same story and the mother explains the same story to her.
A week later, the boy walks into the room in tears.

“It’s ok.”, says the mother, “I know what happened. You were taking a pee and a bullet came out!”
“NO”, says the boy, “I was jerking and I shot the dog.”

toygod2: ....................

Evil.....

My girlfriend just told me she thinks my brother is a real ugly cunt.
I wouldn't mind, but he's my identical twin.

China has a population of a billion people. One billion.
That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy,
there are still a thousand others exactly like you.

The new father ran out of the delivery room and announced to the rest
of his family who were waiting for the news: “We had twins!”

The family was so excited they immediately asked, “Who do they look
like?”

The father paused, smiled, and said, “Each other.”

"Have you ever noticed how many more twins are born than ever before?
I think children are getting afraid of coming into this world alone."

@joerux60, r u twins? If no, were u twins in ur former world? If no, r u on a twin mission?

joerux60: thanx guys. here another one

The young girl was seated in her doctor's office.

"Our tests indicate that you are pregnant," said the
physician, "and there is every indication that you are going to have twins."

"But how can that be, doctor?" the girl protested.
"I've never been out on a double date in my life!"

U don dey try since, na dis one u take f**k up.

nice jokes bro

@ATMC: my lil brothers who come after me are twins.
and after those there is also another set. Are you
a twin yourself?

Conversation between a couple:

"Triplets or Twins I want triplets,
You want twins, Lets get in bed and see who wins!"

John : “Peter, you have married one of the Twin Sisters! How do you recognize your Wife?
Peter: “ha ha ha ha!! have I gone mad? why should I recognize...?

Out of the twins,1 was crying and d other laughing out loud
Father, “ what happened y r u laughing and y bro crying?”
Laughing twin, “mom gave him a cold water bath twice”

joerux60: @ATMC: my lil brothers who come after me are twins.
and after those there is also another set. Are you
a twin yourself?

twice as u

@ ATMC; hopefully I am not offending you by this thread!
if so, then I am going to stop it immediately.
if not,could you please add at least 2 such
gimmicks you hav played on some pple.

We r minors

sorry if the way you c it.for me you are very interesting pple.
at school my best friend had also twins as sieblings. i thought
twins are unique and always attract positive attention whereever
they go.

Eh...