The following article is a must read for those who have issues of jealousy and envy.

Jealousy and Envy: How to Deal and Heal

Written by Christine Kane

My friend Grace is a massage therapist. Long ago, she got her master’s degree in psychology. In her studies, she did a research project on jealousy and envy. She said that during the study, very few of the participants ever admitted to actually feeling jealous or envious in the situation that Grace had created. And yet, they all had spiteful and catty reactions when the person (of whom they “weren’t jealous”) faced sudden failure. And given the opportunity, the participants trashed this person, even reveled in doing so. Grace and I were at a dinner party when she told me about this. It started a lively conversation about jealousy and envy, and how uncomfortable it can be to admit to, feel, and deal with these emotions.

Last week, I clicked on a blog that linked to mine. A fellow blogger (also a songwriter) wrote a post about feeling jealous of me and my success in music. Her feelings were raw, exposed, and clearly uncomfortable. I felt immediate compassion, mostly because there’s so little support for this very real shadow side of us humans. Jealousy and envy can make you feel isolated, small, and pathetic.
Conflicting messages

Much of the media needs you to be jealous. It encourages envy. This is what hooks the reader and the viewer. And it’s what gets them to buy things. This isn’t a secret. And it’s not worth discussion. It just is. For women, this pattern usually starts early. I started wishing I was other people by the age of seven. I got my first Teen Magazine at the age of nine. My nieces, the oldest of whom is ten (TEN!) are already hooked into it. They’re already in the pattern of comparison, jealousy, and criticism. And they are beautiful and sweet little girls. It seems that this has become accepted behavior.

The flip side is the “Be Nice” message that also bombards us. I believe this is where the real damage happens. This is what causes the shame that locks the jealousy firmly into place. This message comes from our churches, and our schools, and our parents. “Be nice! (But be a little more like her, too, okay?)”

Another level of the “Be Nice” message comes from the success gurus. The Law of Attraction. The message here is that if you don’t celebrate everyone else’s success, then you’re blocking your own success, and you’ll inevitably fail, be more miserable, and no one will want to include you in their circles of successful people who aren’t jealous or envious. (Okay, so they don’t actually say all that — but when you’re feeling awful, it can seem like they are!)

It’s true that opening up to other people’s victories will open you to your own. It’s true that your joy attracts more joy. AND it’s also true that if you can’t find your way to that joyful place, then the confusion and pain that accompany your envy can be devastating.
Jealousy and Envy as Teachers

Jealousy and envy are grey matter. They’re not black or white. They don’t make you a bad person. In fact, they aren’t even the truth of you. You’re not a jealous person. You are not your envy.

Becoming aware of these shadow aspects of ourselves is a process and a slow letting go. It’s not a matter of seeing that your shirttail is hanging out, and quickly tucking it back in. (Though eventually, with some work, you’ll get better at saying “no” when jealousy begins to pop into your consciousness.)

If you’ve been prone to the pattern of envy or jealousy throughout your life, then most likely, these emotions are your spiritual teachers. They will ultimately help you transcend. But probably for a while, you will have to face them, not just tuck them in.
Tips for Healing Jealousy and Envy
http://christinekane.com/jealousy-and-envy-how-to-deal-and-heal/

Make Sango kill me if I read this nonsense

Orikinla: The following article is a must read for those who have issues of jealousy and envy.

Jealousy and Envy: How to Deal and Heal

Written by Christine Kane

My friend Grace is a massage therapist. Long ago, she got her master’s degree in psychology. In her studies, she did a research project on jealousy and envy. She said that during the study, very few of the participants ever admitted to actually feeling jealous or envious in the situation that Grace had created. And yet, they all had spiteful and catty reactions when the person (of whom they “weren’t jealous”) faced sudden failure. And given the opportunity, the participants trashed this person, even reveled in doing so. Grace and I were at a dinner party when she told me about this. It started a lively conversation about jealousy and envy, and how uncomfortable it can be to admit to, feel, and deal with these emotions.

Last week, I clicked on a blog that linked to mine. A fellow blogger (also a songwriter) wrote a post about feeling jealous of me and my success in music. Her feelings were raw, exposed, and clearly uncomfortable. I felt immediate compassion, mostly because there’s so little support for this very real shadow side of us humans. Jealousy and envy can make you feel isolated, small, and pathetic.
Conflicting messages

Much of the media needs you to be jealous. It encourages envy. This is what hooks the reader and the viewer. And it’s what gets them to buy things. This isn’t a secret. And it’s not worth discussion. It just is. For women, this pattern usually starts early. I started wishing I was other people by the age of seven. I got my first Teen Magazine at the age of nine. My nieces, the oldest of whom is ten (TEN!) are already hooked into it. They’re already in the pattern of comparison, jealousy, and criticism. And they are beautiful and sweet little girls. It seems that this has become accepted behavior.

The flip side is the “Be Nice” message that also bombards us. I believe this is where the real damage happens. This is what causes the shame that locks the jealousy firmly into place. This message comes from our churches, and our schools, and our parents. “Be nice! (But be a little more like her, too, okay?)”

Another level of the “Be Nice” message comes from the success gurus. The Law of Attraction. The message here is that if you don’t celebrate everyone else’s success, then you’re blocking your own success, and you’ll inevitably fail, be more miserable, and no one will want to include you in their circles of successful people who aren’t jealous or envious. (Okay, so they don’t actually say all that — but when you’re feeling awful, it can seem like they are!)

It’s true that opening up to other people’s victories will open you to your own. It’s true that your joy attracts more joy. AND it’s also true that if you can’t find your way to that joyful place, then the confusion and pain that accompany your envy can be devastating.
Jealousy and Envy as Teachers

Jealousy and envy are grey matter. They’re not black or white. They don’t make you a bad person. In fact, they aren’t even the truth of you. You’re not a jealous person. You are not your envy.

Becoming aware of these shadow aspects of ourselves is a process and a slow letting go. It’s not a matter of seeing that your shirttail is hanging out, and quickly tucking it back in. (Though eventually, with some work, you’ll get better at saying “no” when jealousy begins to pop into your consciousness.)

If you’ve been prone to the pattern of envy or jealousy throughout your life, then most likely, these emotions are your spiritual teachers. They will ultimately help you transcend. But probably for a while, you will have to face them, not just tuck them in.
Tips for Healing Jealousy and Envy
http://christinekane.com/jealousy-and-envy-how-to-deal-and-heal/

Nice one Oriki-kekere
Thumbs up.

I find more revealing the writer's confession on the subtle role of the media in promoting envy amongst the littles ones. . .for profit sake

story story....
Once upon a time....

breezy047:

Nice one Oriki-kekere
Thumbs up.

I find more revealing the writer's confession on the subtle role of the media in promoting envy amongst the littles ones. . .for profit sake

. Now you need a therapist since the name ORIKINLA makes you feel small to prefer "orikikekere",

Mynd_44: Make Sango kill me if I read this nonsense

. Hmm. Beware of what you wish for yourself. You better recant ir before the next rainfall. God help you.

slimyem: story story....
Once upon a time....

. Is your restless vagina itching you again smallie? It is not meant for you. Your psychotherapist said your cure is not ready.

Orikinla: . Hmm. Beware of what you wish for yourself. You better recant ir before the next rainfall. God help you.

I am safe cos I did not read that nonsense

Most girls are suffering from what I attached below.

Orikinla: Most girls are suffering from what I attached below.

And what are you suffering from?

Orikinla: . Is your restless vagina itching you again smallie? It is not meant for you. Your psychotherapist said your cure is not ready.

speak english granpa!

slimyem: speak english granpa!

Join my fan club on http://www.facebook.com/pages/Nigerians-Report/236184879749399

Orikinla: . Now you need a therapist since the name ORIKINLA makes you feel small to prefer "orikikekere",

I see YOUR therapist hasnt cooked you enough not to feel insecure about your poetic name. . .ORIKI-TINY