I’m in a relationship with a guy who lives in Australia – whilst I’m in the United States. Over the last few months I have realised how ridiculous this is, and have on several occasions tried to steer the conversation to ‘us’. Each time, he promises and swears that it will all work out, and yet it’s over a year since we last saw each other. I have, last month, met another guy who I think I’m falling in love with, I’ll call him Ken. Dayo, the Australian guy, knows only that I’ve had a crush on some guy and he freaked out so much that I told him it was nothing and glossed over it. However, I find myself no longer caring for Dayo in a romantic way, but more as a brother or a friend, but I don’t know how I can tell him it’s over – or if I even should. I can’t bring myself to hurt him, can anyone tell me what I should do, how I should end it?

In Addition; he says he'll try to be over in the next few weeks, but he's been saying that for months.

I tried to end it with him a few weeks ago, and he was so reasonable it just made me remember why i used to love him. he told me that he was going to quit his job and move back to his family's home, and he sounded so depressed i had to comfort him somehow and it ended up right where we started.

^^^ Just be open with him and end it now. He will be hurt in the short term, but long distance relationships are so hard even if you see each other every few weeks, and not seeing each other for over a year is not a good basis for a relationship. Just tell him that your feelings have changed. That you still care very much about him, but you don't love him in the same way that you used to.

You can't stay confined to this relationship which is going nowhere just because you're afraid of hurting him. He will be ok and he will get over you.

It is sad that it has come to this. But honestly, it is better you don't discuss this with him because he knows what you are feeling and he will try to appeal to you emotionally. Why don't you love him as a brother and see how things turn out with time.

This is a very odd relationship. Please provide more details. How did you guys meet? Did you guys ever live close to each other? Or did the relationship start-out as a long-distance thing?

If you have never lived in close proximity, how can you call this a relationship?! From experience, extended long-distance relationships (i.e those over 1yr) only work if the couple has had the chance to bond very well before moving to different locations or in situations where there is some form of quasi-contractual commitment (i.e. an introduction or engagement). Please stop fooling yourself that you have a relationship! I don't think you ever had one, my sister. Free yourselves and only reconsider if one of you can find a way to move!

You just have to tell him, staying in a relationship that you dont want to be in isnt healthy. He'll be able to tell that ur not urself too, and he may get hurt anyway without u even breaking up with him, cos he'll just basically figure it out. So you just gotta end it, tell him how you feel. Goodluck