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Do You Mind If Your Wife Is Richer And Earning More Than You? - Family - Nairaland

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Do You Mind If Your Wife Is Richer And Earning More Than You? by skyone(m): 5:29pm On Nov 20, 2007
A friend of mine is actually feeling insecure, i told him i will praise the Lord if my wife is as rich as Abramovich but he didn't seems to agree with me. He believes in man richer than his wife[color=#006600][/color].

Your opinion please.
Re: Do You Mind If Your Wife Is Richer And Earning More Than You? by Seun(m): 11:09am On Nov 21, 2007
Intellectually I know I shouldn't mind, but in real life I'll probably mind. I'll probably throw myself into work to catch up.
Re: Do You Mind If Your Wife Is Richer And Earning More Than You? by skyone(m): 8:28am On Nov 22, 2007
what about if you tried and you realise you are not cathing up, will you kill yourself. accept destiny
Re: Do You Mind If Your Wife Is Richer And Earning More Than You? by ibaka: 10:10am On Nov 22, 2007
yes i mind,its a very very very very bad thing to happen.
it creates a limitation,that is is reduces the man.yes the woman can love u,no doubt but the day u have a quarrel,u may decide to go and drink ota pia pia because she will tell u ur life history.she will also tell u the exact amount she has supported u with and also remind u that u did not come back to give account.
and because ur purchasing power is lower than hers,ur taste will not be as high as her own but she will make u buy expensive things together and split the bills all in a bid to limit u further,cuz belive me women enjoy being in charge of the home.
she will decide which car to use especially if u no get ur own.
also she will never give u money except u ask her for it just to humiliate u.
this is a nija setting.
Re: Do You Mind If Your Wife Is Richer And Earning More Than You? by Kemitola(f): 2:34pm On Nov 22, 2007
U guys are not serious. If your wife is richer than u it doesn't mean she will not be submissive. If she is not proud before she will give you enough respect and with that you will catch up with her. Your wife being richer than you is no big deal. cool
Re: Do You Mind If Your Wife Is Richer And Earning More Than You? by ibaka: 3:43pm On Nov 22, 2007
@kemitola
sorry i will have to disagree on that.i even forgot to add the respect issue in my last post.
a very humble woman will become a bully when she stars earning more than her husband.let me give u an example.a business man i know has a wife that in an assistant manager in the highest paying bank.the guys business it still in the struggling state,he is actually a contractor and as u know contracts come and go.the wife's salary is not too far from 10m naira.the guy drives a toyota camry 1994 model which was their dream car b4 she changed to this new bank from big strong reliable bank where she was earning peanuts.as i speak she drives a brand new,cha cha toyota avensis which she bought on lease.first of all she has put the man down cos she does not allow him drive the car all because she no longer wants to be seen inside the old camry 94 model.so she alone drives the car.they no longer go out together cuz the man is ashamed to sit in the passangers side.
the lady is now very pumpus because her level has suddenly changed.
she made a down payment of 1.5million for that car while her beloved husband ;s business is in need of funds.
can u beat that?
she no longer cooks as home,why?she prefers that they eat out afterall she has the money,and my guy guy is tired of her paying for him,cuz if he had his way he would not even go to those places to eat cuz they are damn too expensive.
imagine eating dinner in nandos for two weeks and my guy no get cash for fuel,
the worst of all they do not have kids.the fault is from the woman.she had an infection after their marriage and her womb had to be taken out.
that was the genesis of the guys financial woes as the operation ate up almost 2m.which he had to borrow and pay back.
yeh can u beat that.
Re: Do You Mind If Your Wife Is Richer And Earning More Than You? by Nobody: 5:16pm On Nov 22, 2007
check it, the woman probably married the guy because he was AVAILABLE, and not because she loved him.

Why would i want to treat my husband that way, i mean i feel one should remain grateful to him for sticking by herside even after the womb was removed. How many men of today will do just that, tho we are told that marriage is for better for worse. These days from the happenings around the globe, i think marriage is 'FOR BETTER I STAY, FOR WORSE I TAKE OFF'.

Secondly check that man, you know its always the gory details about women that spreads fast, maybe the man had been a beast or even a cassanova or something sha, just check it, the man's hands may not be clean at all
Re: Do You Mind If Your Wife Is Richer And Earning More Than You? by mazaje(m): 6:47pm On Nov 22, 2007
I personally wouldnt mind having a wife that is richer than me but hmmmm it has to be a woman with a very open mind. I personally believe the relationship will remain the same if you as her husband have been very good to her. If as a husband you treat and respect your wife as your equal you would'nt have any problem with her when she gets richer but if as a husband all you do is treat her badly and always try to show her that you are the man because of the amount of money you have then i believe thing wound'nt go down well when she gets richer,  she too will like to let you know that the tables have turned and she is now the new boss.This is Nigeria and we are not used to seeing our women getting more money than us, in fact the general notion is that the woman is not suppossed to be richer than her man, infact most men regardless of their level of education,exposure and open mindedness wouldnt like to have a wife that is richer than them.The genaral notion is that once a woman is richer than her man she becomes unbearable and uncontrolable.

I have seen so many Nigerian marriages turned soar because the women became richer than their husbands i would have to admit that infact that occurance is rife back there in nigeria, my friends, my aunts and at a time my mum all felt they were too rich to be under any man's control because they had more money than their spouses its a very natural occurance back there in nigeria, ones a  woman becomes rich she become unbearable, i had an aunt that used to be very very loyal to her husband but immediately she bacame a state commisioner everything changed, a friends mum too used to be very loyal to her husband but immediately she bacame a minister her husband lost her. so there is really no blanket statement for this kind of situation i personally believe it all depends on the type of bond you as a husband share with your wife, but hmmmm i believe that once you are really good to your spouse she will think twice before she does anything silly. I have seen a few situation where the women became very very rich and nothing changed, they still remained loyal to their husband and accorded them their much deserved respect.
Re: Do You Mind If Your Wife Is Richer And Earning More Than You? by ThoniaSlim(f): 3:30am On Nov 23, 2007
Kemitola:

You guys are not serious. If your wife is richer than u it doesn't mean she will not be submissive. If she is not proud before she will give you enough respect and with that you will catch up with her. Your wife being richer than you is no big deal. cool

i must agree with you on that, so many guys especially nigerian men are so closed minded, that they see it as a big issue.
i just think its all insecurity, they are so insecure. most see this as a way to suppress the woman, but one thing they forget is, a submissive wife is a submissive wife, and a wife that is not submissive is not no matter how you suppress her.
Re: Do You Mind If Your Wife Is Richer And Earning More Than You? by mazaje(m): 3:15pm On Nov 23, 2007
ThoniaSlim:

i must agree with you on that, so many guys especially nigerian men are so closed minded, that they see it as a big issue.
i just think its all insecurity, they are so insecure. most see this as a way to suppress the woman, but one thing they forget is, a submissive wife is a submissive wife, and a wife that is not submissive is not no matter how you suppress her.

One thing you always forget to talk about is the root cause, Most nigerian men don't believe in having women that are richer than them because the society does'nt seem to tolerate that, it's not the men's fault, they have been thaught right from childhood that the man is always supposed to be on top financially so they always find it very difficult to adjust when the opposite happens.
Re: Do You Mind If Your Wife Is Richer And Earning More Than You? by rachiwise(f): 8:28pm On Nov 24, 2007
yes i mind,its a very very very very bad thing to happen.
it creates a limitation,that is is reduces the man.yes the woman can love u,no doubt but the day u have a quarrel,u may decide to go and drink ota pia pia because she will tell u your life history.she will also tell u the exact amount she has supported u with and also remind u that u did not come back to give account.
and because your purchasing power is lower than hers,your taste will not be as high as her own but she will make u buy expensive things together and split the bills all in a bid to limit u further,because believe me women enjoy being in charge of the home.
she will decide which car to use especially if u no get your own.
also she will never give u money except u ask her for it just to humiliate u.
this is a nija setting.

a woman can still do all these even if u r the one giving her money,she can still nag u,say u r not doing enough(even if she not earning than u or she not earning at all),she would say is this wat ur mates r giving their own wives,even if u give her a million naira per month,she would still tell u of someone that gives better to his wife,.so dont get it twisted.

the main thing is to marry the right woman,richer or poorer.
Re: Do You Mind If Your Wife Is Richer And Earning More Than You? by ThoniaSlim(f): 1:20am On Nov 25, 2007
i still stand on my word, only insecure men would mind.because a confident fellow wouldn't give a hoot, these are the ones who believe in themselves, they know their position, so why should they be bothered cool.
Re: Do You Mind If Your Wife Is Richer And Earning More Than You? by swiftycool(m): 6:22pm On Jul 25, 2010
ThoniaSlim:

i still stand on my word, only insecure men would mind.because a confident fellow wouldn't give a hoot, these are the ones who believe in themselves, they know their position, so why should they be bothered cool.

Yeah right, i guess you r the kind of woman this story talks about, tell me why the man wont feel insecure when u would end up disrespecting him, women are not just built for such responsibilities, they'll surely mess up

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-484727.0.html
Re: Do You Mind If Your Wife Is Richer And Earning More Than You? by luap: 6:31am On Jul 26, 2010
I would prefer the wife to earn more. Masculinity or Male authority is not based on money or earnings in a relationship. If it ever becomes this way, than your manhood is on a week foundation of a false ideals.
Re: Do You Mind If Your Wife Is Richer And Earning More Than You? by Nobody: 7:09am On Jul 26, 2010
Seeing as the family earnings / finances are collective, it wouldn't bother me in the least, if my wife earned more than I did. All finances in the family, as well as assets are collective, and I know my position as head of the house, and so does my wife.
Re: Do You Mind If Your Wife Is Richer And Earning More Than You? by rubi(f): 7:00pm On Jul 26, 2010
I have no problem with a woman earining more than a man but I have a problem when a man is stagnant refuses to improve himself in life b/c his wife brings home more money
Re: Do You Mind If Your Wife Is Richer And Earning More Than You? by mamagee3(f): 9:15pm On Jul 26, 2010
I don't think if your wife is earning more money should be an issue.

It all depends on what and how she's using the money not just on who earns more.

If she spends the money for the well being of the family, then it really doesn't matter if she earns more.

But, I don't it matters.

At least, siena can attest to it. cool
Re: Do You Mind If Your Wife Is Richer And Earning More Than You? by canuck(m): 9:22pm On Jul 26, 2010
rubi:

I have no problem with a woman earining more than a man but I have a problem when a man is stagnant refuses to improve himself in life b/c his wife brings home more money

Very well articulated!

mama-gee:

If she spends the money for the well being of the family, then it really doesn't matter if she earns more.

Such a woman would be an exception, not the rule. cheesy
Re: Do You Mind If Your Wife Is Richer And Earning More Than You? by canuck(m): 9:24pm On Jul 26, 2010
Wow. . .This 2007 thread just got a new lease on life. cool
Re: Do You Mind If Your Wife Is Richer And Earning More Than You? by mamagee3(f): 9:24pm On Jul 26, 2010
canuck:


Such a woman would be an exception, not the rule. cheesy
Don't ever think that such a woman does not exist cause she does.

They are more soft hearted and selfless women out there than men.
Re: Do You Mind If Your Wife Is Richer And Earning More Than You? by canuck(m): 9:31pm On Jul 26, 2010
mama-gee:

Don't ever think that such a woman does not exist cause she does.

They are more soft hearted and selfless women out there than men.

I would never say "never". . .My point is that such a woman falls outside the statistical norm.

Funny thing is that a man does not regard providing for his family as being soft-hearted - It's just what we (the responsible ones) do! cheesy
Re: Do You Mind If Your Wife Is Richer And Earning More Than You? by mamagee3(f): 9:38pm On Jul 26, 2010
^^A man wouldn't regard that as being soft-hearted simply because it's his responsibility to do that just like it's regarded as soft-hearted when a man washes the dishes.

Sometimes, doing things out of the ordinary makes one unique.

I think most women understand that. wink
Re: Do You Mind If Your Wife Is Richer And Earning More Than You? by canuck(m): 9:43pm On Jul 26, 2010
mama-gee:

^^A man wouldn't regard that as being soft-hearted simply because it's his responsibility to do that just like it's regarded as soft-hearted when a man washes the dishes.

Sometimes, doing things out of the ordinary makes one unique.

I think most women understand that. wink

True talk!
Re: Do You Mind If Your Wife Is Richer And Earning More Than You? by mamagee3(f): 9:48pm On Jul 26, 2010
^^What's with the true talk agreement?

Why don't you post your own opinion? tongue
Re: Do You Mind If Your Wife Is Richer And Earning More Than You? by AjanleKoko: 3:25pm On Jul 29, 2010
Topic should be should be modified to 'Do You Mind if your wife is rich, and you're poor?'

For me, it doesn't matter if my wife is richer, so long as I'm rich as well.

To be a broke-azz man married to a rich wife will definitely suck, unless you're a shameless man. But I can leverage on her contacts or finances to better myself, and try to set myself up doing something worthwhile, rather than just sitting around living off her.

I know a dude who was hustling fruitlessly, while his wife was doing great in her career. They eventually agreed that the guy needed to repackage himself and go back to school for graduate studies, while the wife took care of the kids. He did that, and he's now doing very well himself. Some other guys will just stiff it out because of some foolish pride. I find that pointless. You for no marry the gal in the first place.
Re: Do You Mind If Your Wife Is Richer And Earning More Than You? by lekside44(m): 8:51pm On Jul 29, 2010
well, the wife might be a blessing 2 you that will turn around your life. it does not matter whether the girl helps you to turn around your life or not. what matters is the understanding between the couples.
consider my days in the university, a professor who even happenned to be the dean of the faculty of science was married to a lab attendant in the same dept of the university. anyway, the husband later enrolled for the evenning part time program and now is also a graduate, thanks to the wifes influence.
Re: Do You Mind If Your Wife Is Richer And Earning More Than You? by otokx(m): 2:28pm On Aug 02, 2010
How many times will this question be asked on nairaland?
Re: Do You Mind If Your Wife Is Richer And Earning More Than You? by Challotti: 4:11am On Jan 29, 2013
Only for insecure men AND WOMEN. . .will such a thing matter!

WELCOME TO MGBEKE LIFE! cheesy

Like money can trash a phocking good 'blokos'? grin

Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh!

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