mimifonwon: I have been using this naira land as a source in how tribalistic we as a nation are, and though we intermarry, the ideology of one culture or tribe supremacy over the other is heavily appearant whether we show it or not. Do we fault our parents or our society. I know i grew up in a mixed tribe family where we were taught we should respect everyones culture, but without knowing it, there have been instances my father have been bias and sometimes outright tribalistic towards my mother and she also to him. It doesnt mean he doesnt love her, but in a way i think my siblings and i picked it up. My brothers mostly identify with being yoruba, but my sisters and i who were closer to my maternal cousins identify with both, and sometimes more with igbo. So if this can happen in a family with two educated parents who love and adore eachother, what is to say its not worst in a single tribe family. Coming to this forum have opened my eyes to the hate( whether joking or not) that we have for eachother's tribe. I used to believe that our generation would have nurse and hopefully heal the wounds of the past that our parents kept open, but i now see that the majority of us keep picking at the wounds and letting decay even faster than it should. I went on a date with a yoruba boy from ghana who parents are from ekiti. When I introduced myself i just said you can call me funmi. And we were cool, till we got to talking and we became more interested in eachother. Fastforward 3 months later, my mom told me to invite him to dinner cause she wanted to meet him. When he met my mom, first thing he said was-is your mom igbo or mixed, i was like, she is igbo and the guy then turned to me and says so that means you are half igbo. So i answer this fool yes. He starts laughing saying " why this again, what is with me and igbo girls." I was confused and i asked him what he meant and he said he mostly find himself attracted to igbo girls, but i told him i was half, not full, but he said his parents will not see it that way, that i act like a typical igbo girl. I didnt know whether to be affronted or accepting of the compliment. So he tells me that his parents disowned his middle brother because he refused to marry the yoruba girl they found for him, but rather fell for an igbo gal, and without his parents blessings asked his uncles in the uk to follow him to marry the girl. Its been 5 years now and his parents are yet to forgive or concede. So after his explanation that he doesnt want to lose his inheritance like his brother did, that when i meet his parents that i have to lie and say am full yoruba. I said lai lai, that one no go happen. So i dumped his tribalistic butt. emi omo nkechi, omo igbo ati omo ijebu,A kì í gbọ́n tó Báyìí-ni-ngó-ṣe-ǹkan-àn-mi - never, oluwafunmilayo chinazaekpere adebisi, thats my name, and if any man doesnt like it, go to river niger and drown ya selves, and if you need help ill help finish ya stupid life for you. I told this story to show how tribalistic he was being, though he claimed his parents were the ones that were. Why should my tribal heritage matter. I know the yoruba culture, speak the language, know my village and respect my family's honor. It made me wonder whether tribalism is metastasizing even more than when my parents were young.And Is it true that Yoruba men marry more igbo girls, that igbos marrying yoruba girls?.

ezotik: this story sounds very nollywoodish, a home video directed by oduwa imasuen

anonymous6:

I can tell you are not tribalistic but your thread will be the breading ground for a tribal thread just to warn you. First of all majority of Yoruba men marry yoruba females but a significant amount are marrying igbo girls but it is not vice versa when it comes Yoruba females. Yoruba females and igbo men majority of time don't click(although I have witnessed two couples of that demographic), if a Yoruba female marrys out it would most likely be hausa if she is muslim or edo. I have noticed eastern Nigerian tribes easily marry amongst each other easily, plus their are always other tribes to marry into it is not by force for you to marry yoruba but my question for you is why does it concern you why it is not vice versa with Yoruba females?

mimifonwon:


well i just have seen more of the igbo woman, yoruba man pairing than yoruba woman, igbo man pairing, not to say it doesnt happen. also I was just curious. I felt considering you NLrs like to bring everything down to igbo vs yoruba, i wanted to open up a discussion, so i can learn why the data is more skewed to more igbo women marrying yoruba men than yoruba women marrying igbo men( which does happen).

anonymous6:

I can tell you are not tribalistic but your thread will be the breading ground for a tribal thread just to warn you. First of all majority of Yoruba men marry yoruba females but a significant amount are marrying igbo girls but it is not vice versa when it comes Yoruba females. Yoruba females and igbo men majority of time don't click(although I have witnessed two couples of that demographic), if a Yoruba female marrys out it would most likely be hausa if she is muslim or edo. I have noticed eastern Nigerian tribes easily marry amongst each other easily, plus their are always other tribes to marry into it is not by force for you to marry yoruba but my question for you is why does it concern you why it is not vice versa with Yoruba females?

NRI PRIEST:

If you are Igbo and can speak Yoruba fluently the girl and her parents will accept you in a heart beat and I am speaking from core experiences!!

NRI PRIEST:

If you are Igbo and can speak Yoruba fluently the girl and her parents will accept you in a heart beat and I am speaking from core experiences!!

Why should my tribal heritage matter. I know the yoruba culture, speak the language, know my village and respect my family's honor.

alj harem:

Same occur with English parents, Igbo parents even Chinese so what make the yoruba one your point of interest ?

Remember I speak Igbo to an "Ok" standard as well .

tpia@:



and does that change the fact that you're half igbo?

while i dont necessarily support your ex boyfriend's attitude towards your background, why didnt you tell him beforehand that your mum is igbo? You dated for 3 months and he still didnt know?

If you're dating a yoruba person, that should be one of the first things you tell him, imo. Otherwise they'll be wondering why you dont act like an average yoruba.





as per the rest of your post and the thread title: its been hashed and rehashed many times over.

use the search function.

V_Official®:
Hmm... cool thread!!!
Lemme say, from my point of view... Meine mutti ist aus central Nigeria und vati, a typical yoruba man. No big deal at home, although, as the OP had said-, tribalistic shits happen at home sometimes but non of them has in any way preached to me against any relationship with the easterners.... not until my paternal grandfather and some of my dad's friends sat me down(as the first child and only son). They told me specifically not to ever get married to an igbo woman. I asked several questions to know why it became as serious as they tagged it--,, all they had to say had a common tag "mo gbó (i heard) or wón so mí (they said)". I personally believe that despite the fact that we have our differences, history had its cut against the relationship some igbos (or "tagged" igbos) had had with foreigners. like boiling them alive or sacrificing of any sort.... them say, them say

V_Official®:
well... truely said!!! despite the fact that our environment has influences on how shapened our lives are (including our utterances and how we couple them into our individual lives), we are still who we are.
while i was still in Nigeria, i had an igbo girl i was seeing-: my parents didnt complain about it at all but... the friends (ext. family) n 'well-wishers' who are all yorubas have their reservations. considering whom my father is, i tried to satisfy both sides (balancing yoruba and my beloved igbo). I'm sure you know that when things come to this... one has to be reservatively smart in handling the situation as everything might bounce back on my mum[b](who is not a yoruba)[/b].
This puzzle you are trying to solve is a very clumsy one, putting in mind that most of these people's education levels are low.

anonymous6:

If you are not full Yoruba, you shouldn't really subject yourself to that, especially since your mother is not Yoruba. Men go out with women most of the time like their mothers. Nollywood actors Desmond Elliot and Joseph Benjamin are both half yoruba/half igbo but are called igbo or treated as such; both have igbo mothers and yoruba fathers and both are with non-Yoruba women. Desmond Elliot is married to a ijaw women and Joseph Benjamin exclusively dates igbo women. You and the OP are immune into following the rule of marrying into a tribe, since both of you are mixed tribally.

tpia@:



but are you considering the children of such unions and how this will affect their identity later in life.

well, i guess settling in lagos is always an option sha.

quarter this and two tenths that doesnt really cut it with people unless you're in the midst of similar fellows- eg the US or somewhere.

just theorizing here.

as per the op- she's not even happy someone asked her out, she wants to start abusing the guy because he called her igbo after she threw him a shocker about her background. If she knows what people can face in the name of marrying half tribes or is it half and halfs, she'd think properly.

anyway, she's still young.

anonymous6:
Desmond Elliot is married to a ijaw women and Joseph Benjamin exclusively dates igbo women. You and the OP are immune into following the rule of marrying into a tribe, since both of you are mixed tribally.

Obiagu1: @ OP, the answer is right there in front of you. Look at Nairaland!
Imagine an Igbo man marrying someone like Desola, Ileke-Idi, etc. The simple answer is that Yoruba women are too bigoted compared to Igbo women.

mimifonwon:


well i just have seen more of the igbo woman, yoruba man pairing than yoruba woman, igbo man pairing, not to say it doesnt happen. also I was just curious. I felt considering you NLrs like to bring everything down to igbo vs yoruba, i wanted to open up a discussion, so i can learn why the data is more skewed to more igbo women marrying yoruba men than yoruba women marrying igbo men( which does happen).

mimifonwon:



First of all when we met i spoke yoruba, and so did he, so he just assumed i was full. He grew up in ghana and rarely visits nigeria, so when i told him my dad is from ogun state and my mom abia state, I thought he got the point that i was of mixed tribe. He never asked me anything more about my background. So i was a bit taken back when he met my mom and started making those statements. Yes in certain situations I reacted to things as he termed it like a "igbo girl," which i still dont understand by what he meant and dont care anymore. I didnt deceive him, and it is not my fault that he has more affinity towards igbo girls.

Obiagu1:

Your story sounds a bit weird though; a Yoruba man complaining about your ethnicity when you are Yoruba paternally.
Also, I think you should have titled your thread: "Why don't Yoruba guys marry Igbo girls" based on your story except you want to know whether Igbo men are readily open to marry Yoruba girls.

Obiagu1: @ OP, the answer is right there in front of you. Look at Nairaland!
Imagine an Igbo man marrying someone like Desola, Ileke-Idi, etc. The simple answer is that Yoruba women are too bigoted compared to Igbo women.