Baba Ibada: What an experience! If the story is exactly the way you narrated it,I feel so sorry that a kind-hearted babe like you is going through all these. But who am I to venture into blaming the guy coz I'm sure if she is a nairalander perhaps my ex-girl friend would have come up with a piece closely similar to urs about me. As a matter of fact I had to read every word of your piece with serious attention to be sure that this story isn't from my ex. Please do me a favour to read my own story to the end if you can.

I dated her for 8 yrs and it was my first real experience of boy-girl relationship. I loved her and respected her and she reciprocated this too. She was still looking for admission when I was in 300 level and we lived together for months. At some point I started noticing that her movement was becoming strange, I suspected that she was up to something while I remained faithful as always. About this time I discovered I had an STI of which I didn't sleep with no one but her. I explained to her but she said she might have contacted it in toilet. I struggled to believe her but the trust I had in her was fast declining. When she gained admission I began to notice some strange telephone conversation and I once came across a message she sent to her ex but sincerely there was nothing too sinister in the content apart from the fact that she had already to me she had lost contact with the guy. The suspicion was becoming crazy such that at every opporunity I always searched her phone and got some reasons to suspect her in some ocassions. I had travelled down to her school during my NYSC year without informing her, I got there very late in the night but there was nothing apart from the fact that I met her eating fried egg with plantain when she had told me earlier on the phone that she would only manage 'concoction rice' for dinner but I met her all alone in the room.

Early in the morning of the third day of my impromptu visit a message came through to her phone but she was asleep I opened the message and it read "why are treating me like this, is it because I don't have another girl here?" She didn't give me any good explanation about this as our argument nearly turned to a serious fight.
I then met a girl and asked her out but I felt I was only doing that to have some back up in case things didn't work out between us. This new girl was a virgin and I disciplined myself not to have sex with her as I wasn't sure I would marry her but my attention had become divided and my movement began to become strange to my girl. She started searching my phone to and we began to quarel incessantly.

Expectedly we had some abortions which could be up to or more than the ones you had dear poster but in none of this cases did I accompany her to do the abortion, infact she made abortion look so simple to me with the way she put herself together after abortion except on one very occasion she was almost forced me to go with her and was so down after doing it and something kept telling me that was the only one she really did.

I continued dating the other girl until my girl told me she was pregnant again this happened shortly after my NYSC and I had already started managing some job where I served. I was still suspicious that she might not be pregnant but wanted to get some money from me in the name of abortion then I told her we would not abort this yet I had strange feelings not really about who is responsible for the pregnancy but about wether or not the pregnancy was real. She was in her third year in Uni at this time but on holiday and I gave her 120k to use find some buying and selling just to keep herself busy and well exercised.

I changed my attitude to the new babe and eventually called it quit with her knowing that I was about to become a father. My girl and I agreed that we would let our families know when the pregnancy would be 3 months coz I was still wary of my popsy's probable reaction inspite of not being fed by him any longer. One morning about the time when we were to inform our families, I got a call from her friend that she was rushed to the hospital. At this point my mind went back to my initial suspicion and guess what, she spoke to me with a trembling voice that she had just lost the prgnancy for a cause I couldn't make any sense of. I also suspected the hospital she claimed she was rushed to coz there was a hospital close to her house where she normally went any time she fell sick. I went as far as looking for someone unknown to her to go to the said hospital and confirm if she was there but I could get anyone unfortunately.

She had used 21K out of the money I gave her for petty business for treatment according to her. Sincerely I didn't believe her and started feeling uninterested in her but I couldn't call it quit as I kept thinking of the yrs we've been together and her age. I realised that I was pretending to still love her while hoping sth naturally broke us up. We started quarelling at any slight opportunity yet she wouldn't act like a woman in any case.

I met another girl at this time, I really had strong affection for this girl but still thought it wasn't going to work as my girl wouldn't leave me. This new girl was a final year student as was a virgin too, as a matter of principle I didn't make attempt to sleep with her but I truly loved and wanted her. I decided to carry on with both with the hope that things would sort themselves out.

I got a schorlarship to study abroad and evrything was set. Both girls were aware of this and each of them asked me asked ne to at least meet their parents before I travelled even if I can't do any big introduction. I forced myself to visit the parents of my first girl cos we lived in the same town and I had no excuse to say no eventhough I wished there was one but I couldn't meet the other's parents cos I would have to travel far besides I wasn't sure how things would be despite the fact that I had realised that she's exactly the kind of lady I wish to marry. She even offered to see me off to the airpot but i dodged cos I had been closemarked by the first girl who would later become my ex.

Honestly I shouldn't venture into talking about how I stuggled to keep my mind of the the first girl coz I am tired pressing the keybord but I broke up with her. I found the other girl more suitable, I felt I had taken a wrong step before meeting the right person and I swear this doesn't have to do with anything aside personal preferences and what had happened in the past. Unlike you boyfriend I still showed some remorse and respect knowing that she will be affected to matter what, I am particularly worried about the lenght of the relationship. I didn't oppress her and felt sorry that things didn't work out as planned.

I didn't want to marry her because I had to coz the level of trust had gone below a level that can sustain marriage. I can't explain how sorry I feel not by admitting any giult but just being human. Unlike your case, I wasn't her first boy friend and contrary to your attitude she has been all over me and my family threatening me and doing all sort of things. But I always wish her well with a strong conviction that the step I took was only meant to avoid greater problem in future but I admit that I had my fault too.

I am happy you were honest about the state of your relationship. That you left your first girl is not a crime.I only hope you have learnt the necessary lesson in the relationship.Not all relationships will end up at the altar. Dating is the period when two people get to know each other and themselves better which is why sex should be kept out of it.

@op forgive yourself we all make mistakes. Some women have done 10 abortions and they are happily married with kids and a great hubby. Above all forgive your exboyfriend that is the only way you will heal. Love yourself, you are a queen. Work on becoming a beautiful person inside and outside. Next time remember to abstain from sex outside the walls of marriage dont let any man use you and dump you as long as they are not married to you they are not responsible for you, this is not to say you should accept careless treatment from any man while in a relationship but to emphasize on the fact that while in a relationship put YOU first, watch out for YOU not at the expense of your partner either but in a reasonable way. Above all get self esteem and know what you want from any man and yourself. Now if he comes back hmmmm You be the judge. About the covenant, it is necessary to break it pray to God to release you from the covenant you made.

I feel for you. But I have this to say:
1. You people were so young to understand real love and marriage
2. You would not have taken the oath. Is against God and dangerous
3. The oath is still valid, even if the blood was mixed with water
4. At that age you fell in deep love with him, you did know things men can do. Read:'The Things Men Do' by James Hadley Chase ISBN: 0-7091-6348-7 / 978-0-7091-6348-0, UK edition. Publisher: Robert Hale Ltd
5. Love can fade away.Mostly from the side of men. That is why he ended the relationship
6. The oath taken would hunt him later in life since is the one that went contrary
7. Forget about him and move on, but learn from the experience
8. Many of your admirers are not different from him, so be careful
9. Ask God for direction and forgive him with your whole heart
!0. Men and and women are necessary evil to each other.Take heart
I love you

First and foremost, i most say my apologies to you on ur terrible experience wit dat ars...hole cald ur ex boyfriend. some guys are jst not worth d troubles. moreover i tink u had ur own part to play in this wrong decision u both made. however i tink its best u move on wit ur life and taking wateva happened as a learning process. i often tell people that life is a skool, how u acquire knowledge 4rm it is a function of ur own actions.
regards the oath tin, firstly, i bliv dat was d beginning of ur mistake,knowing dat change is the only constant tin in life and human beings are no exception to that theory. and trust me a guy that encouraged that frequency of abortion doesnt like u, talk more of loving u cos if he did, he wld ve discouraged the abortion tin or settle for a condom if the sex was a necessary evil. u nid to go pray about the oath tin cos its manifestation mite not b seen now but in d later future. pls pray or see a pastor.
Also pls dont let dis experience discourage u from fallin inlove, but dis tym apply wisdom to ur actions. der r still alot of good guys out der. in summary that ur ex is an ars...hole nd pls flee 4rm his person...

Well i think i have to contribute to the issue on ground,first i have to say may God forgive and pardon u for all ur misdeed,its damn bad to engaged in an abortion coz thats an outright murder,however the oath u had with the guy isn't Godly but rather demonish,u need to go into fasting and prayer so as for u to break and also remove the hammer of that blood frm falling back on u in the future,the fact remain that the guy doesn't want u right frm the onset,but its seems the vail of love still covers ur view,life is a training ground and u had yours though in a sad way,my advice to u here is for u to be steadfast in pray,dont just only forget the guy but also go for the deliverance in order to break the oath,be fervent in prayer and dont just give urself to those sweet mouth guys out there,try to reveal ur secret to God so as for him to grant ur supplications,moreover, let the guy go and dont ever and ever accept him back in a relationship,dont lay curse on him but rather let ur true God fight for u,wipe ur tears and keep ur head up sista,2moro go better.

This can perfectly fit a Nollywood flick, call TDCHIKERE or others in the industry to produce it and share d proceeds with them. Girls that just graduated from teen age if not careful fall into wrong hands, and that is why it's most preferable that younger girls who are not sure of the right man or when to marry should date an adult man, not necessarily a married man. They re much more caring and careful, not these 24-28yrs guys who re jumping around looking for where to push in their member. An adult in this sense is someone more responsible, a working class person and not a student who does not know where he is even going. I tell girls that date undergraduate boys to see what await them, heartache, broken dreams. Look at a guy who disvirgined u, something of a pride, now abandons you for another whom he may not have met as a virgin. Call it heartlessnes or wickedness and you are not far from it. I can tell you authoritatively the guy's life is ruined, not a curse i'm making but he is doomed becos he has used all his senses to commit these unholy behaviours.

As for you, so diff to forget dat you went thru all these for one man. If the abortion were for 4-6 diff men,one cld pass it as it happens to women be4 they finally settle down. You need to move on for the guy is no good for you. Even if he comes back, do not accept him for its not gonna be as it was, so i advise you remain focused to ur future as somebody that wld desire u more wld come. U don't need to paint the colours of your abortions on ur forehead, i'm very sure your heart is so genuine. Sorry folk.

Baba Ibada:
I continued dating the other girl until my girl told me she was pregnant again this happened shortly after my NYSC and I had already started managing some job where I served. I was still suspicious that she might not be pregnant but wanted to get some money from me in the name of abortion then I told her we would not abort this yet I had strange feelings not really about who is responsible for the pregnancy but about wether or not the pregnancy was real. She was in her third year in Uni at this time but on holiday and I gave her 120k to use find some buying and selling just to keep herself busy and well exercised.

I have been there too...All these fake pregnancy and abortions just to collect money. There was this girl I was dating that tried to do same to me. She was my 1st gf actually. Thank God I had a friend who most guys and girls will call player but who I call a sharp experienced guy and he had told me abt such tricks. So when this girl who I had helped financially in the past tried to take me for a fo,ol. and trick me I called her bluff This my 'player' of a friend once told me that if a girl tells u she's preg and u're not sure. Just tell her she should born the baby. So when my ex gf was haggling me that she's pregnant and she needs 25k for abortion, I told her to give birth to the baby that my mum will take care of it and be happy sef.She stopped talking to me for a while and we quarreled. Later we got together and when I asked her abt the preg, she told me she just discovered she wasn't pregnant again. In short the baby just disappeared. That is the last time I ever trusted her. She jst became a tr.amp to me. I jst f.cked her tilll I got tired and moved on.
Ps: she was the one that always begged for us nt to use protection. So she cn con me later on. Later pple will say men her evil. Women nko?

Dayum girl!!!!!! at this age? virginity and pride your most prized possession? wake up. Move on.

chumafresh: God knows about dis,let him fight your battle for you

people like you make my disbelief in god/religion stronger, coming from the religious aspect of it, she committed adultery and aborted 4 babies and you ask god to fight for her?? if you convince me that god ur talkin about knows about this then its obvious that god is a movie director! nonsense

Urs is a sad story! But life does have to go on!

I feel ur pain,but my advice for u is to let him go. He may not be ur destine husband, sometime when God is doing good we may be thinking is bad so try nd put off ur mind from him nd continue wt ur life.

Blood Covenant is not a joking matter, You cannot determine when the result will come, and what will be the out come on both of you, you need to move on in life,and be closer to God, you must pray so that, the covenant be broken, it is like a cord in the spirit realm ,curse does not causeless come.

@poster... Take heart, dont let the issue of the abortion bring u down. Just make restitution and go for confession. Our God is a merciful God, there is no sin he can not forgive just seek his face. I understand ur condition u did dat abortion out of ignorance. For all of u here blaming dis girl for the abortion are so naiive, we all are sinners b4 God.
Please forget about that beast u call ur husband to be. He is not ur man. U sounds very nice and God wil provide a man dat will take care of u like a queen because u deserve dat. U dont know wat God has 4u!
Send me ur email i will like to know u more because u are the type girl i need in my life, anytime i visit home i will like to meet u. kaimakliosagie@yahoo.com

u messed up ur relationship! Four consecutive abortion D guy left u on the fact that, no one want to hav a potential abortion expert as a WIFE. Goodluck sha.....

]Good afternoon. I am a 22yr old girl dating a guy of 28. Please I urgently need your advice.This is my story.

I met this guy I am dating now when I was 15 years old. Then, I was in SS2 when we became friends. He was intelligent, smart, but came from a fairly middle background, but not poor.I did not particularly mind about his background even though I came from an upper middle class family. He later asked me out and I declined at first, but along the line I fell in love with him and I agreed to date him when I was in SS3.

I was a virgin at that time. I told him I wasn’t ready for sex and he agreed to wait. He waited for a year until I finished secondary school and he gained admission into the university. He loved me so much that he wanted me to take a covenant with him which I refused because I had heard that it was not good, and we forgot about it. So one day, I went to visit him as usual and one thing led to another, and we had sex unexpectedly. I was scared that since he has slept with me, he would break up with me but he assured me of his love and that he would not do such a thing to me. He then brought up the covenant issue again and at that point, I thought that is not a bad idea after all, since he said he was going to marry me.

So we made a blood covenant. We cut ourselves with blade, and then mixed the blood with water which we both drank and took oaths not to leave each other even until death. We also took an oath that we would to marry each other. We made other several covenants, like he was the only man that would see my unclothedness and use me until I am old. I also said the same to him but this covenant was not with blood and we read Ruth 1: 1-16 -17 during this also.

The relationship went on well and I gained admission into the university he was attending, so it was easy for us. However, I later got pregnant in March that year and we were scared. We were not experienced in any way about drugs to take and he said he couldn't use a condom on a woman he intends to marry. We thought of keeping it but we did not have the resources and we also couldn't think of telling our parents, so we made a decision to abort it.

The relationship continued and that same year again I got pregnant in November. I removed that one too. The following year, I got pregnant again in March which I removed later. In May that same year, the same thing happened and I removed it. Although, he was by my side in all these and that was when I said I would never do abortion again in my life. I said then that if I get pregnant again, I will go ahead and have the baby. Our relationship continued, but in the next year he started acting funny like he was loosing interest in the relationship, he didn’t tell me but I could guess but all still went well. That was the same year he graduated while I was just entering my final year in the university. Since he was in lagos awaiting NYSC and I was in school, it looked as if we were drifting apart. I tried my best to get along with him, which we did though.

When he came to school for clearance, we got along well too. Although, then we had a little misunderstanding which made him to travel in annoyance without us settling the problem. Later I apologized on phone and we were on good terms. He even called to tell me he was posted to the North and it was a two day journey from Lagos which he wasn’t happy about . After camp, he tried working his service back to lagos, but it didn’t work out, so he had to go back to the North and during all this time, we could not see one on one because I was in school writing my project.

After some time he didn’t communicate with me like he used. No calls, text or even a flash and, so I was scared and worried, and still tried my best to communicate with him. I called him and we talked. Then when it was almost time for him to come home for the Christmas holidays, he told me that he was in love with someone else but he still felt for me. I was heart broken. I asked him "why all this?" and then he said that I caused it and that we didn’t see each other for close to eight months, and that was why it happened. Then again, he later apologized that he would call it off with her and which he did when he found out the girl was playing him.

During the Christmas holiday, he apologized for everything, and we continued our relationship, but that time he told me that he slept with the girl he cheated on me with and that nothing happened to him and that meant that the covenant was not working, but I said nobody knows, you can never tell what will happen. However, I was scared within me and hoped that nothing would go wrong. I thought that since he had slept with another woman, it was possible that he would try it again, but I tried to get that off my mind.

Mehn u fuckd up big time..u r d bigest fool av eva seen.u allowd a guy to dceive u so easily..sori to say u disgust me.dz shud serve as a lesson to oda gal out dia.

Though i feel for u just wondering wot u were doing at age 15 or so wit a boyfrnd?

This girl is a fool. . .

itz quite simple, he condemed u to an oath breakable only by death. Put a bullet in his skull.

12 inches!:


I have been there too...All these fake pregnancy and abortions just to collect money. There was this girl I was dating that tried to do same to me. She was my 1st gf actually. Thank God I had a friend who most guys and girls will call player but who I call a sharp experienced guy and he had told me abt such tricks. So when this girl who I had helped financially in the past tried to take me for a fo,ol. and trick me I called her bluff This my 'player' of a friend once told me that if a girl tells u she's preg and u're not sure. Just tell her she should born the baby. So when my ex gf was haggling me that she's pregnant and she needs 25k for abortion, I told her to give birth to the baby that my mum will take care of it and be happy sef.She stopped talking to me for a while and we quarreled. Later we got together and when I asked her abt the preg, she told me she just discovered she wasn't pregnant again. In short the baby just disappeared. That is the last time I ever trusted her. She jst became a tr.amp to me. I jst f.cked her tilll I got tired and moved on.
Ps: she was the one that always begged for us nt to use protection. So she cn con me later on. Later pple will say men her evil. Women nko?

lol-she will beg you not to use protection? You too will not use it? well done.

[b]You people should call me wicked,heartless or whatever but honestly I FEEL NO IOTA of pity for this lady.

Na sawdust dey inside her brain?I know some people will come and say it can happen to anyone,abegi this kind of thing cannot happen to just anyone but a very stup1d girl like this OP.

Come to think of it sef,all these women here laying curses on the guy let me ask you.

If your brother happens to be in the position the co murderer is in,will you advice him to go ahead and marry a lady you know has committed 4 abortions?

Truth is we women should be very careful in our relationships,how can one kill four children for one man and expect him to see no problem with that?I will even be surprised if a guy in such position doesn't think twice about marrying this kind of girl.

Many girls commit more abortions than the OP but you will never know,what those kind of girls do is not even tell the guy they are pregnant,they just abort on code,seriously i don't support abortion but sisters,if you know your boyfriend is not ready to marry you,avoid unprotected 5ex,if you must have raw 5ex be prepared for whatever comes with it. [/b]

My dear don't be deceived by fair tale, u must see that boy one on one and break-off that oath. Except u don't like your life. I have seen two freethinkers lost their lives through oath. Pls make sure u see him and renounce the oath and have a new life.

Girl, you and that guy, whoever he is are in for a battle of your lives...Let no man deceive you, you cannot 'just' have your life back and move on like they are telling you...if you ever moved on, it will be unto bigger problems. You better run to Jesus. He is the only one that can save you and guarantee that those blood you two shed stop crying out. He will also nullify the covenants by His Blood. Covenants are no joke. A word is enough for the wise!

ask God 4 forgiveness with ur heart,nd dnt curse the guy,move on nd dnt 4get to tel any man u re going to end up wit wat u did(abortion)

Finally your name should be submitted to the Guinness book of world record; The most steadfast abortionist (4 in 2yrs)

................THREAD CLOSED......................

negbenebor: ask God 4 forgiveness with ur heart,nd dnt curse the guy,move on nd dnt 4get to tel any man u re going to end up wit wat u did(abortion)

Are you serious? She should tell the next man she committed 4 abortions? Hope you don't mean that o.

pls take heart is too painful,what i will advise u is that u should go to church and confess to any man or woman of God u know that God as been using, for good so that he or she will break the covenant first before thinking of meeting another man pls, but i truly believe that the cause will not be on u but it will be on him for not keeping to the promise,so went u do all dis u can now think of meeting someone else for good. more advice u can mail me josephrapheal37@yahoo.com

The bible says all have sin and fall short of His Glory (Roman 3 vs 23),Never mind God will have mercy on you,just call on him and He will deliver you and also i promise you ,he will give you a better person,because in a nut-shell it means he was not meant 4 u.accept Jesus as your Lord and Saviour and He will take full charge of your life and you will be amazed.with God all things are poassible.(matthew 19 vs 26)....Jesus love you my sister! it well with you.SIMON!

Alright sweet thing, Dr. Broken heart is here.

After reading your story (which in opinion, I think it's too long though) I realised two things:

#1: The guy is a real douche and has had it in for you since day one. Trust me on this, it takes one to know one. I was actually kinda laughing when you said <I went to visit him as usual and one thing led to another and...> like that ever happens. believe me, it was all already staged for you before you even get there.


#2: You are a sweet naive girl.

Time for some tough love.

Listen,I am all about let's brame it all on the "douche bag" but the little cold hard truth is, it was part your fault as well as his.

That being said, it time to move on sweety. Be like me don't point fingers and dwell on what could have been.

I'm not the one to tell people what to do but I know enough to know that seating at home pinning and being the victim ain't gonna solve anything. Go out with friends and family and have fun. if you are a church person, go join the choir group or something.

If you ar not ready to date, you are allow to have fun. Accept your admirers (did I spell that right) invitations and go have fun on dates. (Yeah, I said "dates" not "date". date a couple of guys at the same time, I hear it suppose to be fun for women).

You know the saying: The only way to get over someone is to get on top of someone or in your case... under someone.

Good luck in all your future endeavors. ( is that correct?)

Danm I'm good.

I just hope u wil see my post. I feel for u cos i no tins like dat happen n anybody can be a victim, after all we re women wit weak brains - easily deceived. I wil lik 2 talk wit u, send me mail at: datsfavour4u2@yahoo.com. Awaiting ur mail...

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congregation

[b]These is completely terrible,why? its affect both male & female
i will advice you to follow your heart,but dont trust heartless
fool,he might feel wholesome to him forgetting d nemesissssss!
But the funniest of all is that you never learn your lesson untill
it is devasted cause u are still longing for him & his adamant![/b]

ladysmart: I just hope u wil see my post. I feel for u cos i no tins like dat happen n anybody can be a victim, after all we re women wit weak brains - easily deceived. I wil lik 2 talk wit u, send me mail at: datsfavour4u2@yahoo.com. Awaiting ur mail...

please speak for yourself,that you brain is weak as a woman doesn't mean mine is.

It can only happen to people like you and the OP

Honestly i dont blame that guy at all . You put yourself in this mess . What do you know about love that made you take a convenant ? Do you think this is nigeria movie ? Why on earth will you allow a man have sex with you without condom ? What of if he has HIV ? Must you even allow him to dis-virgin you in the first place ? When you had the first abortion did you tell your parents or even his parents? Yet you claim his family are aware he want to marry you. 1st abortion shows you are a fool , 2nd abortion shows you are not serious 3rd abortion shows you are an educated illetrate , 4th abortion shows you are the most folish person on earth . Yet you want him to marry you? What of if your womb is damage ?When you are enjoying it , you did not run to nairaland o , you did not tell his parents o ,you did not tell your parents o , you did not tell your pastor or imam o . RECOMMENDATION : forgive yourself for the mistake , goto God in prayer , forget the past , forget the guy ,be strong and always carry your parents along. It is well with you