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Men/is It Love Or Acts? - Romance (4) - Nairaland

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Re: Men/is It Love Or Acts? by Nobody: 10:50pm On Jun 20, 2012
But to be honest, some men are just jerks - no matter how you carry yourself, or treat them, they will never respect you... You can't change a goat, a goat is always going to be a stubborn animal... The best you can do is know the type of man you get involved with, before getting involved with him.

The OP needs to change WORSHIP to ADORE - worship is too extreme in this context, you can adore someone without necessarily worshipping them..

Only a narcissist will want people to worship him. undecided
Re: Men/is It Love Or Acts? by pendo89(f): 10:51pm On Jun 20, 2012
Missy_B:
I find it quite difficult to understand how one can give what he's not got.
This is a bit controversial cz some would argue that what you were denied could be the very thing you may excel in as a sort of 'revenge'
Some people do not know how to appreciate the good & free things in their lives because it's in abundance.So they fail to share the goodness because it never really sank in them.They took it for granted.


I have heard and seen women that put up with some nasty habits of their men, hoping that someday, they will change . . .they never do. Instead, your loving gestures are mistaken for tolerance, and the 'men' get worse.[b][/b]
That is very true. It's a slow emotional death which is usually worse than the physical one.

If a snake is a product of a snake, grows in the midst of snakes, it can never act like a dove.
grin true maybe if it grows up in the midst of doves it could end up being a dovey-snake. or fully transform into a dove which is not easy cz the scales will always show.
Only few people are strong enough to modify themselves as time goes . . .Change is not a simple thing.
smiley

1 Like

Re: Men/is It Love Or Acts? by pendo89(f): 10:58pm On Jun 20, 2012
shymmex: Back to the topic:

[b]For a man to treat a lady right, she has to command it - and not demand it...[/b]The way the lady commands it depends on how she carries herself, and her character.. Men worship classy, respectful, intelligent, cultured, open minded, and knowledgeable women.. If you carry yourself like a goddess, without being condescending, arrogant, snobbish, and whorish.


lovely. still reciprocal.
Re: Men/is It Love Or Acts? by Nobody: 10:58pm On Jun 20, 2012
bukatyne: @OP: if a man loves a woman, he ll do anything to please her and any little effort from d woman to please him is highly appreciated. on the other hand, if a man doesn't love a woman, nothing she does ever pleases him and wouldn't make him love her more. however, when a man loves a woman n d woman takes him for granted, after a long while, the love starts depreciating and after a while, the guy starts losing interest. love can increase/decrease depending on actions. a man in love ll always show by his actions

There are certain people who love, and never show it - it depends on the individual...

And also the way people show love is subjective, and that also depends on the individual... We're all different beings, with different temperaments, and our upbringing and experiences in life - also dictate how we show our emotions (Love is an emotion)...

You can't expect a man/woman who has been betrayed all of his/her life to show love, the way most people want it to be shown - people like that will always hold back, regardless of how deeply they're in love with you..

I'm an example of that - I never show emotions, no matter how I feel..
Re: Men/is It Love Or Acts? by yme1(f): 11:03pm On Jun 20, 2012
Missy_B:

Stop hating, jelosy! grin
That reminds me . . . . I'm off to do [i]you-know-wha[/i]t. wink
Ehnnnn? to do what?
Just checked my hubby is right by my side so no shaking grin grin
Re: Men/is It Love Or Acts? by Nobody: 11:21pm On Jun 20, 2012
fstranger6:

ode oshi.

lol this man get mental probs. Following me around like a wet dog dude? grin Enjoy
You certainly seem to have something eating deep at you. Your problem not mine unfortunately.
Re: Men/is It Love Or Acts? by bukatyne(f): 11:35pm On Jun 20, 2012
shymmex:

There are certain people who love, and never show it - it depends on the individual...

And also the way people show love is subjective, and that also depends on the individual... We're all different beings, with different temperaments, and our upbringing and experiences in life - also dictate how we show our emotions (Love is an emotion)...

You can't expect a man/woman who has been betrayed all of his/her to show love, the way most people want it to be shown - people like that will always hold back, regardless of how deeply they're in love with you..

I'm an example of that - I never show emotions, no matter how I feel..

i agree wit u and there ll stil be some characters dat u ll show: maybe ur smile, gayness etc. d person u're wit must feel loved or else... it's often said to unlike attract. it's now d place of ur partner to bring out d love in u n nurture it. b4 i met my fiance, i wasn't d lovey dovey type n didn't even believe in marriage but i liked him so much as a friend i look forward to meeting. when we just started, he had to teach me ow to express my feelings by his own examples. gradually, i started bcomin free n today, it's a diff story. u must know d person loves u or have feelings for u b4 u're ready to continue n work at d relationship
Re: Men/is It Love Or Acts? by Flawlessdiva1(f): 11:38pm On Jun 20, 2012
you made the choice. YOU picked him.[/quote]
This line i love. Sooooo true
Re: Men/is It Love Or Acts? by queensmith: 12:16am On Jun 21, 2012
fstranger6:

ode oshi.

you made me lol very very hard! dear lawd! lmfao!
Re: Men/is It Love Or Acts? by queensmith: 12:24am On Jun 21, 2012
y me: Be a good communicator even when you are angry.
Help around the (his) house in your spare time
Encourage him and try to inspire him in any little way
Try to share his interest (even if its 20%) in hobbies that you are not that cool with
Don't go out of your comfort zone just to win an argument with him to prove a point

I just vomited all over the gaff. . . .thank you yme! eurgh!
Re: Men/is It Love Or Acts? by queensmith: 12:26am On Jun 21, 2012
about clean my house you know- I cannot be the only one? Please somebody confirm i'm not the only one? I mean this website has how many people? It can't just be me, the coonery cannot be spread to all Nigerians like this? No, I refuse to believe it, I just refuse. . . . . . I reject it.
Re: Men/is It Love Or Acts? by queensmith: 12:46am On Jun 21, 2012
Missy_B: A man that has never been treated right, never been taught to treat people right, and has never treated anyone right will never treat you right no matter what you do.
If you're unfortunate stupid enough to find even go near such a man, you'll spend the whole of your life trying to please him hoping someday he will change, but they never do.

He should not treat you right only after you wash, cook and die for him (any woman doing any of the above in hopes a man will love her is fooling herself. . . . .on a level that is beyond anything on this earth) . . .He ought to treat you right from the start.
See how he relates to other people, see how he treats his mother/sisters, if possible see what kind of home he's from.
You can't give what you don't have.


Lemme finish it off with this sexiness here;
“You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.”—Malcolm S. Forbes.
Re: Men/is It Love Or Acts? by kandiikane(m): 12:58am On Jun 21, 2012
Abeg, forget that rubbish for say "if you act classy, elegant, intelligent, blah di blah" they will treat you right. No, they won't. If a man is going to treat you like trash they will, whether you act like a lowdown ashawo or barack obama's wife.
If a man is brought up right with good manners and respect for women then he will treat you right but if he was brought up seeing the mother being a punching bag then he will treat you like absolute trash. Just makes sure you get to know person first before you open legs and fall in love. You can never change a man who treats women like shite. *whispers* nigerian men-abeg you didn't hear me. tongue
Me, I have talked finished.

1 Like

Re: Men/is It Love Or Acts? by Nobody: 1:13am On Jun 21, 2012
Don't listen to all these men pretending to be lovee lovee. See them, Nigerian men- know how to treat women right. Nigerian men are ranked at the bottom of the list on treating women right. And on the token, our women are ranked among the last on how to respond and talk to people respectfully.

2 Likes

Re: Men/is It Love Or Acts? by kandiikane(m): 1:15am On Jun 21, 2012
^aha ha ha, you know your people well.
Re: Men/is It Love Or Acts? by queensmith: 1:25am On Jun 21, 2012
kandiikane: Abeg, forget that rubbish for say "if you act classy, elegant, intelligent, blah di blah" they will treat you right. No, they won't. If a man is going to treat you like trash they will, whether you act like a lowdown ashawo or barack obama's wife.
If a man is brought up right with good manners and respect for women then he will treat you right but if he was brought up seeing the mother being a punching bag then he will treat you like absolute trash. Just makes sure you get to know person first before you open legs and fall in love. You can never change a man who treats women like shite. *whispers* nigerian men-abeg you didn't hear me. tongue
Me, I have talked finished.
cool
Danka7777: Don't listen to all these men pretending to be lovee lovee. See them, Nigerian men- know how to treat women right. Nigerian men are ranked at the bottom of the list on treating women right. And on the token, our women are ranked among the last on how to respond and talk to people respectfully.
cool

Now this is fresh air. . .
Re: Men/is It Love Or Acts? by georgesylva(m): 5:12am On Jun 21, 2012
pendo89: In response to the thread 'How to make a man worship you,one man replied and said

If u like treat me like a king,like ur boss or ur best friend if I don't wanna be nice ,there is nothing u can do to change me.but if I am in luv,I will even lick ur feet to make u happy .its beta to be in a relationship with a guy dat trully luvs u

It got me thinking. What would really make a man adore and treat you right?
Some men no matter what you do for them will treat you like trash.
Others will treat you right regardless.

which between love and actions carries most weight?







By default im a type of guy that would treat any lady right but if im in love, i'd treat her special.
Re: Men/is It Love Or Acts? by Nobody: 5:52am On Jun 21, 2012
i don't think any1 in this world even romeo loved his gf as I loved mine but my mind took a u-turn when i noticed some things changed wer she was... So to my understanding to be loved so well by ur bf, don't change those qualities that made him love you at first instead improve on the already existing ones.
Re: Men/is It Love Or Acts? by otodeluxe(m): 7:29am On Jun 21, 2012
If she really loves me and I know, I will love her too and give her all the respect and good loving that she needs.
Re: Men/is It Love Or Acts? by pendo89(f): 8:37am On Jun 21, 2012
Movingcoil: i don't think any1 in this world even romeo loved his gf as I loved mine but my mind took a u-turn when i noticed some things changed wer she was... So to my understanding to be loved so well by ur bf, don't change those qualities that made him love you at first [/size][size=8pt]instead improve on the already existing ones.
Re: Men/is It Love Or Acts? by oraclefemi(m): 8:58am On Jun 21, 2012
bukatyne: @OP: if a man loves a woman, he ll do anything to please her and any little effort from d woman to please him is highly appreciated. on the other hand, if a man doesn't love a woman, nothing she does ever pleases him and wouldn't make him love her more. however, when a man loves a woman n d woman takes him for granted, after a long while, the love starts depreciating and after a while, the guy starts losing interest. love can increase/decrease depending on actions. a man in love ll always show by his actions

this is perfect

1 Like

Re: Men/is It Love Or Acts? by Jukoh(m): 9:14am On Jun 21, 2012
The thing is that, most men are very selfish and self centered nowadays and so no matter the gestures a lady might show such guys out of her nice nature, Even when her actions are not intended for any returns of any sort, she might end up being misread by the guy. So ladies before marriage to any guy, don't be overly committed to him and no matter how filled with goodness and niceness you might be, always try to suppress some of it 'cos the truth is that a man will easily get comfortable (consciously or unconsciously)to your overly nice treatments and forget the important approaches he was suppose to take.
Re: Men/is It Love Or Acts? by Jukoh(m): 9:19am On Jun 21, 2012
The thing is that, most men are very selfish and self centered nowadays and so no matter the gestures a lady might show such guys out of her nice nature, Even when her actions are not intended for any returns of any sort, she might end up being misread by the guy. So ladies before marriage to any guy, don't be overly committed to him and no matter how filled with goodness and niceness you might be, always try to suppress some of it 'cos the truth is that a man will easily get comfortable (consciously or unconsciously)to your overly nice treatments and forget the important approaches he was suppose to take.
Re: Men/is It Love Or Acts? by Sagamite(m): 9:44am On Jun 21, 2012
georgesylva:
By default im a type of guy that would treat any lady right but if im in love, i'd treat her special.

Well, women would tend to treat guys like you as mumu and would not have the simplest contrition.

Start treating each woman the way she deserves to be treated.

Movingcoil: i don't think any1 in this world even romeo loved his gf as I loved mine but my mind took a u-turn when i noticed some things changed wer she was... So to my understanding to be loved so well by ur bf, don't change those qualities that made him love you at first instead improve on the already existing ones.

Now, georgesylva, this is a guy that is learning by experience what I just lectured you on.

I bet she took a piss on him for being too nice and he did not adjust quick enough to put her in her place.

Jukoh: The thing is that, most men are very selfish and self centered nowadays and so no matter the gestures a lady might show such guys out of her nice nature, Even when her actions are not intended for any returns of any sort, she might end up being misread by the guy. So ladies before marriage to any guy, don't be overly committed to him and no matter how filled with goodness and niceness you might be, always try to suppress some of it 'cos the truth is that a man will easily get comfortable (consciously or unconsciously)to your overly nice treatments and forget the important approaches he was suppose to take.

Go and pick up your pen and notepad and jot down 200 times the sentence:

"Women are, on average, more selfish and self centered than men", I am now aware of this.
Re: Men/is It Love Or Acts? by pendo89(f): 9:55am On Jun 21, 2012
sagamite are u anti-women? undecided

You are negative I think you look at every woman suspiciously cz of your exp with them

If we all did that to men we would never date again.
Re: Men/is It Love Or Acts? by MissyB3(f): 9:56am On Jun 21, 2012
Sagamite:

Well, women would tend to treat guys like you as mumu and would not have the simplest contrition.
Not true. I'm speaking for myself and the likes of me, of course.
Saga, we have enough worthless Naija men already . . .Leave the few good ones alone, and don't corrupt them. angry

They all don't have to be like you. tongue **Hides under the pillow grin**
Re: Men/is It Love Or Acts? by Sagamite(m): 10:28am On Jun 21, 2012
pendo89: sagamite are u anti-women? undecided

You are negative I think you look at every woman suspiciously cz of your exp with them

If we all did that to men we would never date again.

I am not anti-women. I tend to treat people they way they deserve. Because that is the best and most rewarding way of dealing with women.

I am anti-shytheads.

Indifferent to women.

I am pro-ladies.

You can see examples of how I interact with some females on NL. There are some I consistently joke with and I have never insulted, and there are some (professional shytheads) I abhor with a passion and would have insulted several times.

I tend to think and know majority women are not very nice people. That does not mean they are evil! Very few are ladies. They are very selfish and these facts are why women tend not to like each other. I hate with a passion that concept being fed to young men to always put women on a pedestal default, and the mugus accept and even try and propagate it to get the tag "Real Man" and the accompanying pat on the back. Fck it, majority of women do not deserve it. And due to the inherent selfishness, most women would refuse to accept these facts.

Thank God I am quite good at identifying and allocating which of the 3 groups a particular woman falls in.


Missy_B:
Not true. I'm speaking for myself and the likes of me, of course.
Saga, we have enough worthless Naija men already . . .Leave the few good ones alone, and don't corrupt them. angry

They all don't have to be like you. tongue **Hides under the pillow grin**

The average woman tends to want all the rights, benefits and privileges but do not want any accountability, responsibilities and risks. They like to pass the latter group to men. And this is getting worse in the generation of "women that think they should be treated like gold for doing nothing. This treatment should happen just for being a woman". These are good, and have been successful, in training mugu men that these should be the norm and not adhering to it makes something wrong with the guy.

That is why I once famously said this:

https://www.nairaland.com/820236/what-not-after-first-date#9723514

Women don't understand the meaning of fair. Fair to them means personal advantage.

Yes, most Naija men are worthless. Maybe the women of old deserve better, but in reality such men are what majority of Naija women of today deserve. I have never seen more bunch of hopeless women in my life especially the ones in the UK. Nowadays I really hardly have empathy when I see a modern women talk of being mistreated by a man.

Men like me are icons. If men are produced like me then Baba God would have to drastically reduce the man-woman ratio and instil polygamy in the Bible. I am too mu[b]s[/b]h. cool
Re: Men/is It Love Or Acts? by MissyB3(f): 11:14am On Jun 21, 2012
Sagamite:
The average woman tends to want all the rights and privileges but do not want any responsibilities and risks.
False!
This phenomenon is not gender-specific. . . There are also men who have nothing to give but demand everything, demand respect, but don't even know how it's spelt.
It has to do with the individual, there's NO reason it should be attributed to women alone.

Sagamite:

And this is getting worse in the generation of "women that think they should be treated like gold for doing nothing. It should happen just for being a woman". They are good, and have been successful, in training mugu men that these should be the norm and not adhering to it makes something wrong with the guy.
It is alright for a woman to want to be treated as gold, it is the norm, Naija men are just not familiar with it.

Men like me are icons. If men are produced like me then Baba God would have to drastically reduce the man-woman ratio and instil polygamy in the Bible. I am too mu[b]s[/b]h. cool
What arrogance! angry And, you're still wondering why I chose Don over you? Commot jor. cheesy
Re: Men/is It Love Or Acts? by MeGaStReEt: 11:22am On Jun 21, 2012
IMO it doesn't have to be Love or Act. It has to do with the inner-self, individual character. Some people like to have a stubborn or a nagging for a gf/bf. Different strokes.....
Re: Men/is It Love Or Acts? by Sagamite(m): 11:24am On Jun 21, 2012
Missy_B:
False!
This phenomenon is not gender-specific. . . There are also men who have nothing to give but demand everything, demand respect, but don't even know how it's spelt.
It has to do with the individual, there's NO reason it should be attributed to women alone.

Partially true!

But I am talking on average. Women are inherently more selfish.

Missy_B:
It is alright for a woman to want to be treated as gold, it is the norm, Naija men are just not familiar with it.

Treat them like gold if they deserve to be treated like gold.

Women (when they are still attractive), on average, would not stick with the foool that pants and eats from their hand, they would go for the more risque guy.

Missy_B:
What arrogance! angry And, you're still wondering why I chose Don over you? Commot jor. cheesy

What did I just say about women going for the risque guy. grin grin grin grin

You proved me right. tongue Am baaad! cool

You will pick a male slut over a bible-thumping, innocent, butter-no-go-melt-in-his-mouth good boy like me. cheesy
Re: Men/is It Love Or Acts? by Abbeycity88(m): 11:24am On Jun 21, 2012
Love is d answer! If i dont luv u hw do u expect me 2 treat u right? Also human being can neva b 100% satisfy no mata worth...Divine Love make it 99.99%
Re: Men/is It Love Or Acts? by kandiikane(m): 1:05pm On Jun 21, 2012
@sagamite, you know why you find most women selfish and even get into abusive arguments with them?
It is because you hate when a woman challenges your ideas. If you discuss something and a woman has a different opinion to it, your first word to them is "cretin".

You finding most women "not nice" shows it is you with a problem not them. The way you interact with MOST women shows you to be a typical stereotype of a naija man.

Don't hate me, just throwing it out there. cheesy

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