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LiteratureRe: Random Campus True Life Stories . by DoctorShroud(m): 9:16pm On Jun 03, 2015
I'll update 5 shortly , sorry for the delay, it was because of the issues I had with the anti-spam bot. Please continue to drop your comments , they're encouraging . Thanks for the love
LiteratureRe: Random Campus True Life Stories . by DoctorShroud(m): 9:10pm On Jun 03, 2015
Episode 4- Preye Stole



One Thursday evening Preye received a message on 'Whatsapp' from an unknown number . The picture on the Profile indicated it was a very pretty young female and the face was vaguely familiar to preye; Preye in the course of the chat got to discover that she was his faculty mate and they received same lectures on friday mornings.
Since friday mornings were very crowdy it wasn't likely for preye to have known her personally , and it was unlikely too that she must have known him in class, so on further probe- still in the course of the chat, preye got to realize she'd known him from the time he'd contested for Mr Faculty- An all male competition that was organized by the Faculty's social Arm every first semester- she further hinted that she was a fan.

" Oh , I guess I disappointed you by losing. Lol" preye told her.

"That isn't exactly right, though you lost , you won my admiration more, almost everybody agreed the Judges were Biased. You were supposed to be the winner."

She replied.

" Wow! You're so encouraging. So will you be in class tomorrow, can't wait to see you...". That was preye.

And thus Preye Met Nancy 200level sociology, she was 20, not only was she dark and beautiful, she was slim and extremely curvy she was 'sexy' personified. She was a rich kid. She drove a 'Kia' saloon car to school and was the leader of a clique of 4 friends who were in same department as her and who tagged along her wherever she went, making it difficult for most guys to approach her.

Preye Knew them as a group.
There wasn't any student in school Who didn't ? But he never really knew or recognized her in person as classes were always rowdy.

The class had just rounded off and preye called her , she directed him to meet her downstairs at the students garage, he met them at the garage.
They exchanged pleasantries after a warm formal introduction. The girls were warm and polite , contrary to how other students perceived them to be. They drove out in Nancy's car with nancy on the wheels. They had lunch together and preye ever the ladies man , had them laughing their jaws off to his Jokes and word play.
Preye had his eyes on Nancy all through. There were Amina and Suliyat (the cousins)both of them fairly plump and pretty, and then Benedicta was slim and the only fair one amongst them she was beautiful but her beauty wasn't so pronounced. but by all standards , Nancy was the 'Girl to die for', little wonder she was the leader amongst her friends.
They were all aristocrats and preye easily related with the aristocratic ones.

Later that day , Preye told his friends , Wike and Jerry that he'd fallen in love with Nancy. Issues concerning the opposite sex never came up without Preye talking about nancy.
Their friendship grew, on preye's birthday she got him an expensive sony digital tablet.

Wike , And Jerry and indeed whoever saw Nancy and Preye's closeness , how they flirted and pecked each other , often ended up urging preye to ask her out, but somehow and quite unusually too, preye always failed to summon up courage to ask her out.

Perhaps he was truly in love.
More than once Nancy had visited him alone and they'd been together in the same room and preye was so 'harmless' that the only thing they'd ever shared was a kiss.

Perhaps to let out too much of emotional steam Preye texted her one evening "I love you".
There was no reply.

The next day after lecture hours preye, wike and Jerry were headed home , they were supposed to board a bike but Wike said he wanted to buy a new BlackBerry headset from a phone accessories store owned by a Northerner.

The store was divided into an inner store and an outer store . It was from the inner store that the northerner attended to his customers .While the outer store contained a locked show glass of assorted mobile phones.
There was a burglary proof of thin iron poles in front of the inner store where an assortment of mobile phone headsets and desktop chargers were clustered haphazardly around.

These headsets and other minor phone accessories like desktop chargers which hung around the thin iron poles were vulnerable to theft especially When the outer area of the store was crowded by customers.
The northerner probably knew he was been stolen from , but he never bothered perhaps because he made more than enough profits to - more than- cover for petty incidences of theft. And indeed he made a lot of profit.

Wike had been given four pieces of headsets to try on his blackberry phone.
He settled for one , but the Northerner was too engaged with other customers to attend to wike's negotiation for a good price.
The guy attended to customers in an irregular and disorganized order, but he wasn't to be blamed . If he decided to attend to customers on first come , first serve Basis he'd be at a loss of profit because he'd for instance be engaged with the first customer who was wasting his time hassling for a small item with a fixed price while another customer who probably wanted to buy a Bigger item- a phone for instance- could be kept waiting and could eventually leave for another of the numerous stores around.

Wike didn't understand this, perhaps to punish the northerner for treating him insignificantly, he dropped three of the headsets back on the table and left with one that worked, he met Preye and Jerry , they asked if he'd purchased the headset , he winked at them and moved on while they followed him.

"That Bastard aboki wan carry me play, I collect the earphone I no pay"
He laughed mischievously.
Jerry equally laughed.
"Sharp guy!" Jerry Hailed him.

Preye mildly disapproved his friend's action.
"Na from playplay , dem take get player, you go dey laugh now, small time na thief you go turn to..."
To which wike replied.
"Na my fault ? I dey ask am how much, e no dey answer me, him no know say na my time e dey waste?"
They boarded a bike home .

Later by evening the same day , the three friends were strolling around town as was their routine, sometimes they met pretty girls whom they 'razzled'. Today they talked about a variety of things , ranging from their academics to Dramatic lecturers to girls and then 'Nancy'.
Preye told them he sent her an 'I love you text' which she hadn't replied to ;as if in response to this, a text from nancy came in . It read "hi dear, please I'd like you to meet me at cosmos restaurant. nancy" . They all read the text.

For some reasons which Wike and Jerry couldn't understand Preye replied "I'm presently in the capital, I'll see you when I come back".

"Why?" Jerry asked.

"I don't want to be too available for her, let her miss me sometimes, so she'll know my worth . Besides I sent her that text since almost 24hours ago and she purposely kept me on suspense, so make me sef suspend her small."
He declared arrogantly.

Jerry and Wike didn't think there was much sense in Preye's reason, they argued with him for sometime, however, soon they diverted their attention to other issues.
They moved on, soon they were close to an electronics and DVD store,

The store had an inner and outer chamber, the outer chamber was where the electronics were assembled while the inner chamber was for the DVD's and CD's, outside the store on a table were some old school amplifiers. The owner of the store was a short ,mean looking, very muscular and Craggy faced young man with a prominent nose who spoke with a guttural voice and had a very thick ibo accent. He had lazy eyes that were red and appeared mysterious and unfriendly too, he didn't smile and when he replied to questions like jerry's "how much you dey sell this your amplifiers for this table?" He gave a short and dismissive reply that was unwelcoming of negotiations. "9,500 last" he replied.

The man was however, strangely patient almost ominously patient with them , he followed preye around the store as preye scanned from shelve to shelve looking for the movie of his choice- sometimes taking a look at other movies along the line- and still the man managed to respond- however with an almost curt disposition- to jerry's intermittent questions on the prices of the attractive looking amplifiers and flat screen TV's assembled in the outer chamber and out side on the table.
Wike sat on a wooden bench in the outer chamber of the store ,chatting and listening to music on his headset simultaneously.

Their was a petite fair young girl of about 18 who looked sick, she was sitting on the bench with wike, she was probably his wife or his sister. Jerry sometimes directed his questions- regarding prices of the electronics- to her, she had a simple and friendly face and she attached more details when she explained the prices to Jerry. She spoke with a thick ibo accent too and she easily smiled. She was the opposite of her husband or brother.
******************************************

Nancy was disappointed. she'd really needed to see Preye, she'd missed him. She was surprised that after she replied his "I love you " text message that night with an equal "I love you too, goodnight sweet dreams" text message - which apparently was undelivered: unknown to her- He(Preye) had not called or texted and now he'd abruptly traveled to the capital without as much as informing her. She became moody and to cheer up she decided to call at benedicta's place, she dialed Amina's number , Amina and suliyat stayed together , she directed them to meet her at benedicta's place.
She hurriedly finished her meatpie and drinks at the restaurant and boarded a bike to Benedicta's place, she'd left her car at the capital on her last visit because it was faulty.

Once the girls met at benedicta's place they decided to go out and buy some movies to entertain themselves, they embarked on a stroll to get the movie

Preye had spent so much time seemingly searching for the So called movie and Wike and Jerry were becoming impatient .
"Guy do quick na make we dey commot here " Jerry complained.
Preye finally decided to leave since he didn't see the Movie he was looking for.
"Make we dey go , I no see the film" he announced .
Wike and Jerry made to leave with him, the store owner watched them almost leave before he called out to Preye.
"Guy " he said calmly, observing preye.
"You say you no see the film?"

"I no see am"
Preye replied impatiently, with a voice that brittled.

"What of the one inside your bag"
The man asked.

"Wet.. Wetin , which one?" Preye stuttered , his voice clearly showed signs of nervousness and his facial muscles twitched intermittently into an unintended smile that went on and off like a shaky current.

Wike and Jerry on their part were lost as to what this strange-looking store owner was driving at. Preye didn't steal.

The man walked up to preye with the strides of someone who knew what he was talking about. His hands went straight to preye's small one-hand bag which he hung around his shoulders , Preye knew by now that the Game was up, he resisted the man calmly and then brought out the single DVD plate from his bag.
It was a rude shock to Wike and Jerry. they stared back and forth with quizzical eyes, from Preye to The Man.

Preye's hand was suspended mid air as he handed the CD to the Man, the man just stared at him spotting a fixed expression. Preye still had the shameful looking shaky-current-like smile on his face, he bent his face low.

Wike and Jerry proceeded to beg.
"Oga abeg , no vex , sorry I take God name take beg you..."
Wike pleaded desperately, he was soon joined by Jerry in the Pleading spree.

Preye was a standing corpse of shame. he'd never done it before, he never in his wildest imagination thought he would do it . He was just feeling unnecessarily adventurous , he wanted to feel what wike felt when he stole the headset, perhaps he wanted to prove that he too could be a 'sharp guy' if he wanted to, or too many things were just destined to go wrong that day, From the text message to nancy telling her he wasn't in town , to the theft, everything was like multiple tapping of wrong buttons.

"So as you dress fine like this, like person wey pesin go respect, then you say na thief you wan be, then you look me finish from beginning to end , you say na me you wan steal from? "

The man asked, sounding calm but subduing surging temper.

Jerry and Wike were steal pleading. The man hushed them with a wave of the hand.
"I dey ask you" he directed his gaze to preye.

A drop of preye's tears hit the floor.

"How much be DVD plate?" He asked preye.
"Answer my questions or you want make I call people make we follow ask you question?"

Preye looked up at him.

" I say , how much dem dey sell dvd plate?"

"150." preye said with a tear-laden voice.

"You no fit afford am?" The man asked.

Preye was mute.
"You no fit afford am?" The man repeated.

"I fit" preye Replied.

"But you just wan carry me play?"

"Abeg..."

"No beg me, just dey answer my questions." The man insisted.

"I say weda you wan carry me play?"

Preye looked at the man, he said no.

"how much gain you think say I dey make from this business?"

"Please sir.." Preye attempted a plea again but was rudely cut.

"I say no beg, make we interact like men."

" Shebi you know say e don reach like 30minutes wey you enter this store wey you dey carry me play, una no wan buy anything una just wan steal"

"My friends no follow!" Preye was quick to object.

"But you no say, if I raise alarm now , dem no go consider that one wey you just yarn?"

The boys were silent.

"Shebi una hear of 4 boys wey dem burn 4 aluu ?"

He paused for some minutes observing them shrewdly.
" Una don pause to think if those boys fit dey innocent? Una don pause to think how e dey easy to lose your life for this country? Una know the risk involved for wetin una just do? I dey talk to all of 'una' because una be friends and if una dey waka together una be the same thing"

Jerry and Wike clearly disapproved the man's comments regarding them, but they had to exhibit humility to avoid what could turn out to be a big humiliation to their friend. They Pleaded instead.

The Petite lady made a soft plea to her brother/husband.
He seemed to calm down, he was never over the top in anger anyways. He asked preye to go and keep the DVD plate from where he had uninstalled them. Preye did.

He admonished them further on the dangers of crime and the golden opportunity of education which they had to strive to hold on to and make use of; his words really touched the boys, the episode seemed to be ending and with it the tension, when from nowhere, an over-enthusistic woman made her way into the 'crime scene'.
The ibo man was familiar with her, she seemed to explain that she observed something unusual was going on here from across where her store was.
They communicated in ibo further and the ibo man divulged the nature of the 'something unusual' she'd noticed.

The woman was a busybody, she gripped Preye by the Collar .
"Na una dey thief our things she cried, una no get conscience! Una go come pretend like say una wan buy something na thief una go thief . All my DVD's wey dem don thief don reach to open another store , God don punish you today thief! You be thief!..."
She continued to rant on and on, ignoring the pleas of Wike and Jerry.
It was in this situation that Nancy and her friends walked in ,they had barely made a complete entry when they experienced the shock of their lives, as preye was been accused of theft, and Wike and Jerry were pleading on his behalf.


"Na thief ! Tell una school people make them know am, him be thief , na DVD him thief, him be armed robber...", she shook preye by the collar as she directed her announcement to the girls.
The girls were shocked but What nancy felt was far beyond shock; She was heartbroken and ashamed. This was a Guy she'd told her friends she was crazy about, a guy she had admired even when he didn't know her, a guy she could before now , swear he couldn't do such a thing. But Here he was. a Liar and a petty thief.

She wished for a lot of things. she wished she hadn't witnessed this, she wished they'd abandoned the idea of going to buy movies when Benedicta suggested they danced to some music instead. But what had already been done couldn't be undone. They Left the premises shortly.

The store owner soon prevailed on the Woman to stop making a scene , and the boys were allowed to go their way.
Preye traveled to the capital that same evening and stayed for a week with his parents.
He never heard from Nancy again, neither did he reach out to her.

Wike and Jerry continued to reach out to preye even as he tried to avoid them out of shame, they made him understand they were still his close friends irrespective of the unfortunate incident.

For preye the shock lingered throughout the semester.
The End.
End Of Episode 4.

Episode 5 coming soon.
LiteratureRe: Random Campus True Life Stories . by DoctorShroud(m): 8:07pm On Jun 02, 2015
I don't know what happened , I was trying to upload yesterday, on my Mr Shroud Account, but unfortunately I guess due to some tech errors on my end or Nairaland servers was overwhelmed, I was blacklisted. So for now , I'll be uploading from This Account pending when I'm able to post with the other account.
Jokes EtcRe: Professor Wole Soyinka Shaves Off His Trademark Grey Afro Cut. by DoctorShroud(op): 8:13pm On Jan 01, 2014
farem: [color=#990000]
You need the whole earth to be inhabited with mu.mu to crowd on this trash.
Who told you that grey hair will be so dark at the root (your homework is incomplete: you would have told us he put dye).
Its the joke section..don't take it too real ...lol
Art, Graphics & VideoRe: Professor Wole Soyinka Without His Afro Haircut. by DoctorShroud(op): 7:53pm On Jan 01, 2014
qeemus: nice one!!!
Thanks.
Adeoba10: You try
thanks.
Jokes EtcProfessor Wole Soyinka Shaves Off His Trademark Grey Afro Cut. by DoctorShroud(op): 7:17pm On Jan 01, 2014
Our sources reliably informed us that, he shaved off to look younger and finer for unsuspecting awon omo obirin's.

Art, Graphics & VideoProfessor Wole Soyinka Without His Afro Haircut. by DoctorShroud(op): 7:01pm On Jan 01, 2014
Using photoshop and modeller look what I did.

LiteratureRe: An Evening With Eva (2013 Triple Award Winner in Crime. Thriller. Action.) by DoctorShroud(m): 5:40am On Oct 11, 2013
Kayemjay, God bless you.
PoliticsRe: Dialogue Or We Expose You, NANS Threatens ASUU by DoctorShroud(m): 1:50am On Oct 10, 2013
Dammy4all: '
get a life bro
PoliticsRe: Dialogue Or We Expose You, NANS Threatens ASUU by DoctorShroud(m): 1:48am On Oct 10, 2013
When will this whole nonsense stop?
And it's not a rhetorical question
PoliticsRe: Comparing Legacies - Obasanjo Vs Goodluck Jonathan by DoctorShroud(m): 1:11pm On Oct 08, 2013
seedord247: Chaiiii greatest insult of all of time...

Comparing a leopard to a rabbit. grin
get a life bro. In ur own interest.
LiteratureRe: The Diary by DoctorShroud(m): 2:25am On Sep 20, 2013
Wow! Where em wan start now na!
LiteratureRe: The Diary by DoctorShroud(m): 9:15am On Sep 14, 2013
Slickest i listened to your single. I like it, you're multi-talented guy.
Your vocals were on point and were given a fiting low end mix.

However there are some points , i'ld like to bring to your notice, and this is not unconnected to your beat.
IMHO, The beat was too synthetic for the source concept and target audience.
I think the beat should have been more on the naturalistic side to allow for easy relations with the streets.
I'ld like for you to PM me - if you don't mind -i think it'll worth your while.
TravelHave You Ever Been Pressed When Travelling In A Public Vehicle? by DoctorShroud(op): 6:33pm On Sep 08, 2013
Its so embarrassing to be caught right there worst of all in a public vehicle on a long trip.

The other day on my way to port-harcourt from owerri, i felt so neuseatic, and before i knew it, i threw up right there in the bus,i'ld much rather forget this gory incident; it was so disgusting.

I heard of a guy who defeacated on his pants, after desperately but unsuccessfully trying to hold the it. Koloba!

Few, actually want to share such experiences, but you may Share yours if you care. Enjoy!
Nairaland GeneralMy Budget by DoctorShroud(op):
Everytime i receive funds, my needs don't occur to me anymore to an extent, rather immediate wants do, untill the money finishes.

So i'm figuring, that have my budget posted on a webpage would chastise me, so here's my budget in order of importance.

- A stabilizer for my Dell system.{this days the voltage is so low, i don't like the idea of thinking an external force is appropriating time for me to use my system - its die-ahhh-bow-Lickkk!
*************************
- An Amplifier for my Dell system- ever since the old one blew up, my ear-drums has perpetually turned host to headsets. that is whenever i'm not working -i work part-time in a music studio! This days business is soured skunk!
*************************
- An upgrade to Reason 7 and if i'm lucky pro-tools8[b/] - i'm a gearslut -if you know what that means.
*************************
- Ehen! Dat [b]shoe!
(i know what i'm talking about)
*************************
-A new shirt and blue jean pants.
*************************
-A new adaptor for my keyboard - i'm a sucker for upgrading!
*************************
-enrolling at a driving academy, to improve on my driving which sucks.(lemme not lie, i've never been on a ste ering wheel, the only wheel i've been privileged to control is a bicycle wheel)
*************************
- A new lecture Note (not like i don't place much priority on education - buh you'll agree with me , nobody knows when this strike would be called off.
*************************
-Finally, if i feed my 5 thousand, and still have 12 baskets full, then i can consider contributing to one junkie/geek in my area, who works day and night programming a statistics based software that he claims can correctly predict when ASUU will call off the strike (lol, and to think he campaigns for funds and is utterly convinced that it will work)

#dazall#
RomanceRe: Romance Section Complaints and Suggestions Thread by DoctorShroud(m): 8:52pm On Aug 10, 2013
RomanceRe: So All The While, You've Been Indirectly Sending Romantic S.m.s' To Your Freind? by DoctorShroud(m): 4:10pm On Aug 10, 2013
k2039: She has not done anything wrong in not replying the sms. She has also not done anything wrong in forwarding the sms. I guess it's the guy who is pushing himself to her and the guy is smart enough to knnow he is an intellectuall property and asset to her when it comes to romantic sms. It's the guy who is stupi.d to have sent atleast 3 romantic sms without reply and still go on to rack his brain to send one, instead for him to rack his brain about making his first million, first ten million and first hundred million as the case may be.

BTW, most of us if not all have forwarded someone else's sms at a point in time.
bro, are u left handed? Why all ur own na anti-clockwise? How does ur cerebrum process information? U urself,
Y don't u search google with the keyword "how to make money" instead of search'n 4 romantic s.m.s too.
And how much money hav u racked out already?
RomanceRe: So All The While, You've Been Indirectly Sending Romantic S.m.s' To Your Freind? by DoctorShroud(m): 9:51am On Aug 10, 2013
Mynd_44: I will start sending the messages to her best friend
yeah, that would really get to her.
*in flow's voice*
legend has it that females are the most jealous of the world's dominant species.
Or whaddewfink?
@k2039 *òtí o*
LiteratureRe: The Diary by DoctorShroud(m): 9:26pm On Aug 09, 2013
princesa: you this shroud dude has being tripping cheesy *hugs him tightly*smiley
now am cool, you can go back to ur hibernation mood, i won't spill wink
lol..yeah sweetpea *looks around* -hope i'm safe?
RomanceRe: So All The While, You've Been Indirectly Sending Romantic S.m.s' To Your Freind? by DoctorShroud(m): 8:25pm On Aug 09, 2013
One of those hurtful courses, life offers.
I'll try my best not to have a carry over.
LiteratureRe: The Diary by DoctorShroud(m):
princesa: thanks... just that ther's a shroud who was of great help to me at the onset of my story, and i dnt see him nomore and offcourse, i miss him sad
i've missed u too princesa! well i'm here now.
Give me an e-hug{lols}
btw, i've been on a -laylow- sort of mode..
I celebrated when our "taking chances" hit the front page.
ComputersThe Importance Of I.C.T To The Educational Sector. by DoctorShroud(op): 5:52pm On May 30, 2013
What has information and Communication Technology{ICT} acheived in the Education Sector.
Please Share Your Veiws.
Jokes EtcRe: Types Of Poo-poo by DoctorShroud(m): 2:18pm On May 28, 2013
@ op> dat 'pop a vein in the forehead poo, really got me laughing.
Jokes EtcRe: What Happens When Don Meon Features Snoop Dogg! by DoctorShroud(op): 1:07pm On May 28, 2013
iamSi: Mennnnnn you are ...*lip sealed*
Too Gud.
CelebritiesFind Out The Heights Of Your Favourite Celebrities. by DoctorShroud(op): 9:54am On May 28, 2013
Beyonce Knowles stands at 5ft 6inches / 167.64cms.

Britney Spears 5ft 4 inches.

Gwen Stefani 5ft 6inches.

Hulk Hogan 6ft 4inches.

Justin Timberlake 6ft 1inch.

Lil Wayne 5ft 5inches.{Weezy F baby- "she hold me like a conversation"}

Mariah Carey 5ft 9inches.

Micheal Jackson 5ft 9inches
112 lbs(when died)
M.J - "This life don't last forever...hold my hands"
R.i.p

Naomi Campbell 5ft 10inches.

Paris Hilton 5ft 8inches.


Shakira 5ft 2inches

Sylvester Stallione 5ft 10inches (casted as Rambo, in the Action Movie- Rambo 'First Blood'.

Tyra Banks 5ft 10inches.

Source.
http://www.celeb-height-weight.psyphil.com/celebrities-height-and-weight-chart-–-celebrity-stats/
Jokes EtcWhat Happens When Don Meon Features Snoop Dogg! by DoctorShroud(op): 9:37am On May 28, 2013
Imagine snoop dogg giving don moen a back up, on the song "above all" . He'll probably say.


Don Meon : Crucified.

Snoop dogg: yea u waz cruxfied like crucifix.

Don : Layed behind d stone.

Snoop dogg : yeah n.i.g.g.a, dey laid ur sory a.r.s.e behind a gaddamn stone!


Don : HE LIVED TO DIE.

Snoop Dogg : yeah Zap d niggaz who wun't live a nigga who prolly lived 2 dee aI eee.

Don : rejected and alone.

Snoop dogg : yeah! nt a lady, nt a bitch ,nt a stripper 2 call his own! U dig?

Don : Like a rose

snoop Dogg : Like Rosay and all mayback music .

Don : Trampled on the ground.


Snoop dogg : yeah we gon ,tramp'l his fat coke stuffed a.r.s.e to the ground, mo'fu.c.ker.

Don : i've had enough, i don't want u in ma song again.

Snoop : (laughs) uh uh! There ain't no way, dat gonna happ'n tissue watt homie.

Don. : (terribly angry yells)now u get the Zap out of my music ! NI.G.G.A!!!
Jokes EtcAkpos Interveiws Saka {"why I Port Go M.t.n"} by DoctorShroud(op): 4:08pm On May 26, 2013
Below is the excerpt of akpos interview with saka.

Akpos : saka how d go dey go na?

Saka : .....{ akpos notices saka is dosing }

Akpos : {taps saka on the shoulder} saka wake na, why you com dey sleep like dis na.

Saka : eh! Eh {he wipes his eyes} i no dey sleep o

Akpos : {irritated} then wetin you come dey do.

Saka : i dey dream, infat i dream say i b obama.

Akpos : na im b say , america na yankari game reserve o.

Saka : no insult me {he grimaces}

Akpos : no vex na, abi pesin no fit play wit u again.
Oya Wetin be d meaning of your name?

Saka : my name? {laughs}, na one day when i go america, so for dia na im i go toast queen elizabeth, na im she call me. "Sack of shit" . but d way she talk am sweet, i hear "sack'a'shit", na im i throway d shit collect saka!!

Akpos : saka saka!! u dey wise, and you sabi filter!!

Saka : thank u /thank u


Akpos : So tell us why u port go m.t.n!

Saka : {laughs hysterically} krikata krikata, i don port to m.t.n eh!!

Akpos : eh tell us, y u port na.

Saka : i know say all of una go dey think say na because of money, but no be because of money!

Akpos : {getting curious} then y u port?

Saka : if u wan knw! Bring ur ear come, make i tell u.{ akpos goes closer, and saka whispers inaudibly to him. }

Akpos : yaaaaaaaay!! {akpos jumps up and begins to sing and dance } I don port o! i don port o, akpos don port to M. T. N chei!! KriSAKA KriSAKA!
Jokes EtcAkpos Interveiws Saka {"why I Port Go M.t.n"} by DoctorShroud(op): 2:23pm On May 26, 2013
Below is the excerpt of akpos interview with saka.

Akpos : saka how d go dey go na?

Saka : .....{ akpos notices saka is dosing }

Akpos : {taps saka on the shoulder} saka wake na, why you com dey sleep like dis na.

Saka : eh! Eh {he wipes his eyes} i no dey sleep o

Akpos : {irritated} then wetin you come dey do.

Saka : i dey dream, infat i dream say i b obama.

Akpos : na im b say , america na yankari game reserve o.

Saka : no insult me {he grimaces}

Akpos : no vex na, abi pesin no fit play wit u again.
Oya Wetin be d meaning of your name?

Saka : my name? {laughs}, na one day when i go america, so for dia na im i go toast queen elizabeth, na im she call me. "Sack of shit" . but d way she talk am sweet, i hear "sack'a'shit", na im i throway d shit collect saka!!

Akpos : saka saka!! u dey wise, and you sabi filter!!

Saka : thank u /thank u


Akpos : So tell us why u port go m.t.n!

Saka : {laughs hysterically} krikata krikata, i don port to m.t.n eh!!

Akpos : eh tell us, y u port na.

Saka : i know say all of una go dey think say na because of money, but no be because of money!

Akpos : {getting curious} then y u port?

Saka : if u wan knw! Bring ur ear come, make i tell u.{ akpos goes closer, and saka whispers inaudibly to him. }

Akpos : yaaaaaaaay!! {akpos jumps up and begins to sing and dance } I don port o! i don port o, akpos don port to M. T. N chei!! KriSAKA KriSAKA!
Jokes EtcRe: Akpos Interviews Wande Coal.{what he does with his spare time. } by DoctorShroud(op): 11:14pm On May 24, 2013
Akpos : you're known for your trademark high pitched autotuned voice. Are you naturally a high pitched singer?

Wande : there's nothing natural about nigerian music. We all use autotune.

Akpos : wow. Tell us about private trips.

Wande : private trips , is up for download at ww. I can not categorically tell you one now.
Jokes EtcRe: Akpos Interviews Wande Coal.{what he does with his spare time. } by DoctorShroud(op): 11:07pm On May 24, 2013
Akpos : you're known for your trademack high pitched autotuned voice. Are you naturally a high pitched singer.

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