₦airaland Forum

Dygeasy: Bro it takes time. Especially when the story has a not too catchy beginning like yours. Probably something really interesting lies in it as the story progresses. Just chill ehn?
Me I like it sha.

*subcribing!

thanks for commenting bro.

*following*

No be only princesa dey here na. The story dey like new born baby, me wey dey write, no even know im destiny. Na una comments na im go determine im destiny. And 2, una comment dey, like protein. Shuo, abi una no wan give baby protein to grow?

princesa: karamo is flat, you've not developed him yet,

up the action, let that guy wake up from sleep and go to school or somewhere!

. I'll work on that.

No one is encouraging me o..please comment.

I swallowed. " i guess that goes for a yes" she said. She launched forward, and kissed me softly, then withrew sharply. My eyes which were half shut in pleasure, opened up. "true love is daring". She said emphatically. We kissed again, for a tincy bit longer, than the previous one. Then she withdrew her lips again. "true love is courageous" she stressed, looking into my eyes, as if to ask. 'are you learning?'. Then slowly and sensationally, our lips crossed paths again. This time, the kiss was so deep. All the bottled-up feelings in me, were unleashed. She lay in my arms, as we struggled to catch our breath, after the long kissing session. "u asked ,what my boyfreind was like?" she said. I nodded, and paused to hear her speak. She observed me. "he's like, my soft spot, just as you" she puffed her imaginary cigarette, and smiled as she re-emphasized. "as in ; JUST AS YOU".
I caught the joke.

"why didn't you tell me all this while?".it took a while, of contemplating before i finally said
"I- i wa- was scared". My stammering was liable to show up in times like this.
"Scared ?". Her voice rang out, piercing me. she sat upright, still staring at me. "scared of what?" . She asked with a scowl.
I couldn't stand her eyes, so i looked down.
"scared of rejection" i muttered. ashamed of myself.
She observed me, then she said calmly. "true love, doesn't fear rejection."
she was hurt, she bowed her head low. "i'm dissapointed".she muttered. I held her by her shoulders. I had nothing to say except. "I'm sorry, i hurt you, this way".she turned around. "your turn". she said. i was lost. "we're still in the game."
she assured me.
Confused. I asked "truth or dare?"
she almost didn't let me finish. "dare". She said. my mind was blank. On what, could i dare her? Nothing was forthcoming for a while. Then she said, "would you, dare me to kiss you?" our eyes were locked.

"What's your favourite meal?". I asked, just to buy time. I already knew, she could sell her soul for ewà agoyin. I smiled at my exaggeration. She relaxed, puffed an imaginary cigarette, and looked at me, dazing her eyes. "you know" she puffed. "raheem, i could sell you for a pot of ewà agoyin". She said, and we both burst out laughing hysterically. She was in my arms before i knew it. "truth or dare" she asked me.
"Truth" , i replied. She looked into my eyes intently. "do you have feelings for me?" she asked.
The question was like 'fuel subsidy withrawal' and like nigeria, i wasn't prepared for it. Just as i wasn't prepared for her new found position in my arms. Her eyes were still searhing mine, my mind was working overtime.
I was scared. "i i think so". i stuttered. There was silence. I felt like hell would be let loose as i admitted it. "i- i love you" for a moment their was an exception to the rule of the game, as she asked her second question.

"Truth or dare?" she said looking shrewdly into my eyes. "truth" i snapped. "Whatz my name?" muna asked excitedly. I gave her that- "oh, datz a cheap question!"- look. She just smiled.
"muna" i replied easily, and laughed.
"Your turn" she said, with a guttural whisper, stressing on the 'turn'
i stared at her, still wondering what her boyfreind was like, and admiring her at the same time. "Truth or dare?" i asked. "Truth!" she mimicked a kids voice. And that was muna; so dramatic and fun to be with.
"whats your boyfriend like?"
i asked curiously. "He's like my soft spot, just as you". she winked, just as i was saying. "no no thatz not how i......". "Truth or Dare" she snapped, smiling knowingly.
"Truth". i resigned.
"Do you have a girlfriend". She querried. "you know i don't." i said. " in the game. you don't assume you know". She said smiling.
"what do you assume?" i asked her.
"who told you i choose truth?" she asked.
"Truth or dare" i snapped.
"Truth" she said.

Pls, do not just read, endeavour to also comment. Constructive Criticisms are welcome too.

Pls, do not just read, endeavour to also comment. Criticize too.

What do ya'll readers think of karamo's personality, as observed from the story so far...let me hear your veiws pls, they inspire me.

Karamo had just unplugged his phone, he was scrolling through his log, he planned to call tutu , his girlfreind. Her's had been the last number to call him, yesterday evening, just after femi had called him.
Femi's father was terribly ill, and at the point of death. The old man had been struck with the worst kind of cancer of the lungs, and cancer of the blood cells. only a miracle could save the old man's life. Femi , been the first son, was -by family tradition - entitled to be by the old man's side. Femi had little to worry about school work, karamo had assured him he had his back.
Now karamo was dialling Tutu's digits. 'Not available.' came the reply.
He decided to entertain himself, by remembering how he met tutu.
Tutu was a 20 year old, 1st year student of sociology department, karamo was 2 levels ahead, in same department.
Tutu was a fair beauty, and shapely too, unlike Tola his ex, who was dark, facially preety, but not exactly shapely, she was a girl of quite dimunitive frame.
Tola always made demands, but was never commited to the relationship, karamo was helplessly in love with her, until he caught her red-handed, cheating on him with another guy. He stopped loving her, she cared less, and life had moved on after the split. Life 'moving on' had involved his sexual activities with inobong, a restaurant assistant, whose body a typical african man, was prone to lust after. She was a chocolate beauty. Inobong didn't just have those bodily features that was symbolic of a sexy lady, she had them in abundance. She was a thoroughly local girl, a girl of cheap virtue too.
"Aní mà shàun" as wizkid called it, in his 'Ole' track.
Inobong was a free giver, you only had to have a sizeable manhood, to qualify for her favours. That was as much as many people in Aluu knew about her, what they didn't know about her was ominous.
Inobong was a terrible Witch.

brosmart: Am usually too lazy to comment bt dis is a Great work shroud, Great work *following* @princesa i think gay is applicable to both male nd female *sexually attracted to the same sex* tnks.

thanks bro...i appreciate your veiws.

Doctor Shroud: Pls your ideas and ur comments would be helpful to the growth of the story, As i'ld derive inspiration from them, thanks a lot.

More comments pls, the few made, has improved the lot of this story apparently. Thanks

The cockroach was sure, to release it's signature juice, on the blue bedspread, if he squashed it.
He stood up.
Delicately holding the area where the insect was trapped, he untucked the bedsheet systematically, then spread them before the tiled floor, leaving only an area, where he expected the insect to escape from, then he grabbed the tin of new mortein insecticide,from a basket beside the bed with his free hands, then released his grip on the insect. the insect expectedly sped out of the bedsheet from the only available area. Karamo sprayed a generous amount of the insectide, on the insect, it had a quick effect on the cockroach, as it slowed down automatically, but was still in motion.
"walking corpse" karamo muttered as he watched the slow-moving cockroach. 'walking corpse' didn't apply to cockroaches, he knew but cared less.
He replaced the insecticide. The smell of the insecticide was unbearable for him too, he threw the sheets on the bed. And moved to the reading table, where he sat, he glanced at the clock, it was 3:35am.
He didn't feel like sleeping again...

The exception gradually became the rule, as karamo stood up, he examined the tiny creature on his fingertips, he had hit it like, it was the cause of his misery these past few hours. he disposed the tiny insect somewhere on the floor, and wiped his hands on the bedsheets, his fingers grabbed something as he wiped his fingers on the ruffled bedsheet.
He was sure it was a cockroach.
The insect was desperately wriggling to be set free. Karamo tightened his hold, but he didn't want to squash it either.

princesa: don't about that, they are not straight people sexually, and the girls are lesbians while the guys are gays or homosexuals.
that's what i know

Noted

We chatted about general issues as we moved along, some students ran towards our direction , right out of the corridor, holding their nostrils with their fingers and grimacing.
"the pesin wey mess dis mess,na i.d.i.o.t ." one of the students said, with a glower on his face. " na wa o. " others muttered. one slim dark girl, with excessive make up, held her nose tightly, as she chattered. " the pesin dat mess dis mess ehn! the pesin dat mess dis mess will carry over all his courses." i and dean chuckled, one guy scornfully told her. "babe you're a prime suspect o!" all hell was let lose, as she rained abuses on the guy, i and dean walked past them. "all dis year one dem ehn, dem no go kill pesin. " dean said. "no be small " i concurred. We walked into another group of students, who were frantically checking for their names on a list labelled 'P.T'. Dean sighted his cousin amongst this group. Dean's cousin was a fresher. "david!" dean called out. David turned towards us, smiled and walked up to us, we shook hands with him, as he greeted. "you no dey see dat 'P.T' when them write for there" dean said. David looked at the the post-board. "bros i see am, but wetin e mean?" he asked naively.
"e mean part time!" i said, already growing impatient. The others must have heard us, for they started going towards the other block, david thanked us and joined them, while i and dean headed for the lecture theatre, where we had our eco 312 lectures.

@princesa, i thought, Generally when people ain't straight, they're gay, irrespective of actual sex?

princesa: okay seen the paragraph changes, but one other tiny request. it would be better if you also separated the dialogue from the narration, though tasking but rewarding.

and that female neighbour is a lesbian not a gay.

Noted. Thank you, and pls feel free to make other requests however 'tiny' they might be, they make great impacts on this thread.

luvmijeje: Dr Shroud, well done.
In all honesty this story reminds me of 'ghostful' I can even list 5 similarites between them but I am hoping as this story develop it will have its own distinctiveness. *following*

in all honesty, i derived part-time inspiration to write this story from 'ghostful', hence the allusions to 'ghostful' but despite that, i assure you, 'Transparent people', is different..stay tuned to find out. Thanks for commenting too.

princesa: " ........catalyst nudging her up from her deplorable and fast-sinking existence....."

you couldn't have said it anybetter. [winks]

The falsetto voices echoed on both sides of his ears. He made a vain effort to move up. "Jeeesus Jee sus save m..." he whispered, he struggled, it was futile, he calmed his nerves, and brains, and then very gradually he became relieved.
The ceiling fan, in the room was working overtime, karamo was sweating overtime , he turned around , this time lying face-upward. He ignored his thumping heart,
He didn't want to think, he didn't want his mind to wander about; his straying thoughts had caused him much misery already.
He just wanted to be calm.

'After a rule, come's an exception to the rule, then the next time, the exception becomes the new rule.' ; so it was posited in the movie 'City of God' karamo had to hit his neck, for that was where the ant had just stung him, he succeeded in killing the black soldier ant. Killing the ant, was only a reflex action,
the reflex action was the exception to karamo's 'stay calm' rule. There are three stages of metamorphosis in this regard; The rule , the exception , and the new rule. Find out the next stage of metamorphosis.

Oloware: Interesting story...keep it coming

thanks, i Definitely will.

princesa: uhm, well you got the flair and the dexterity for writing,
i love all the allusions you make, superb!


but you gotta learn to space, so as to create eye comfort, those are the kind of story that catch people fancy here on nl.

put it inpractice okay, you are on your way to the top

thanks a lot. Princessa,
i definitely will...and pls help me watch out for other areas, i might need corrections. You know i got your back too on 'taking chances'

From time to time, i'ld review, the responses, to my two shitks here on N.L[ Transparent people & Shy- Lock] pls your comments are highly appreciated.

Rough pretty girls, with sexy weirld sense of fashion, were my weak spots, it wasn't easy for me to avoid staring at them and admiring them,whenever i saw them, neither was it easy for me to approah them. I am a shy guy -maybe by nature,many girls had gossiped that i was a coward. I had the right words at my disposal, but whenever i tried to approach a girl i liked, i developed 'failed breaks' a campus slang, which more or less meant 'failure to deliver' .i thought Maybe because, we're all-boys in my immediate family(but then, their was muna, who was always around my family),maybe because i attended an all boys secondary school; but even then, our social gatherings, consisted of girls from other schools, and i could have mixed up, if i wanted to. The truth was; Your's truly made too many excuses! "grow up jor!" i chastised myself. Afterall my immediate younger brother celestine, who is 2 years my Junior,and who used to have a phobia for girls, to the extent that, he was feared abnormal. is now a 19 year old fresher, who is already fast becoming notorious among the girl folks in uniport. It was as if his phobia for girls, was replaced gradually by his advancement in height. Cele is 6ft tall and there was this thing,about great heights- it gave one a sort of confidence. it couldn't have been more true in celestine's case. I am average heighted-at least by nigerian standards- because, a year ago when i visited U.S, For my cousin's matriculation, into a polytechnic in Florida, kids in the neighbourhood, had calle d me short, because i stood at 5ft 8,there were very tall guys, some nearly reaching 7ft, and believe me, when i say it. even celestine, was average heighted amongst them. My cousin-sister related to us, that the heights were quite normal in this parts of FL. Back here, I sort for all kinds of excuses to account for my phobia- not a phobia for girls- but a phobia for expressing my feelings to them. At the end i concluded "Damn it! I am just shy and cowardly". Was it my nature? If so i am doomed, I thought.
I still remember muna, my childhood crush. i couldn't just bring myself to tell her how i felt about her, even though on many occasions, i was sure she was giving me the 'green light' . The yoke still didn't break. Until one day, when i and muna were 17 and 16 respectively,she gladly announced on one of our videogame-playing routines, in my room, back home, that she just started dating a guy, and from the look on her face, she was very much in love with him. then i had I feigned that "i'm happy for you!" look. maybe i would have succeeded in deceiving another person, but not muna.
She knew me so well, or we knew each other so well. She turned serious, then said "raheem, what is it?" i was like "ho-how do you mean?" i barely escaped being a stamerer; it affected me somehow, i have a quick temper, and to some extent, it affected my self esteem also. she hesitated a while,then said "you don't look happy" i tried to convince her, unsuccessfully " i am happy for you, i can swear it" and that was me, i was always about "i swear! I swear!" ever since i started speaking.
"Don't lie to me." she said, "i'm not lieing eh" i retorted, avoiding her eyes. In my mind i was like " i've lost my lovely muna!" muna was a radical chocolate beauty. At seven, she had wanted to be a soldier, like her dad, at 10, she wanted to be a pilot, at 15 she wanted to be a federal secrete agent (influenced by an american movie series) then at 16, she finally settled for politics and human rights activism. Now there was silence in the room, i fiddled lackadaisically with my pad, so did she, then she said "do you mind, us playing truth and dare?" every mind is a potential box of secrets. Muna was determined to access, what i had in mind, my secrets.....
"raheem wat it do? " dean hailed me, bringing me back to the present,he was coming towards me,where i was sitting on an old table in the department hall,charging my laptop on a nearby wall socket. The results for last semester exams had just been released,students ;especially hundred level students, trooped into the departmental blocks, they wanted to check their first result, on campus. "dean of the faculty!" i hailed dean, as we shook hands. He had gotten the name somehow- i can't remember exactly- when we were in year 1, but the reason he got the name wasn't unconnected to his bossy attitude. My "lappy" was charged full,as indicated by the dimunitive white light by its side. i arranged it in my bag, together with my charger, then together with dean, i went further into the blocks. We walked to the area,where some students,who appeared like 100level students(you always knew them, when you saw them - always anxious- was their perfect description) gathered somewhere withing a side passage way, beside the main hall way,trying to trace their results on the list ; i understood what the anxiety was all about,i had once been in their shoes. I had once felt the "1st result anxiety"

Doctor Shroud: Pls your ideas and ur comments would be helpful to the growth of the story, As i'ld derive inspiration from them, thanks a lot..

still stands.

During those bouts,during those times, he always said in his heart- because he always found himself, unable to speak out then- saying ''blood of Jesus! blood of Jesus!" Until he was free from the paralysis.sleep paralysis or spiritual attack leading to paralysis; He preferred to believe the former, as it provided a natural and normal explanation to this phenomenon, than the latter, which made him appear like a victim of spiritual abnormality, and that had a terrifing undertone, but what was he to call the "scornful dark seamstress" as femi had jokingly called her, when he told him. And he had assured himself, he was just hallucinating, "let me assume i'm correct" he'd hoped. Now the pressure on his body was becoming unbearable, this was by far more than the typical sleep paralysis', he normally experienced. He was suffocating, and was badly in need of oxygen. "Laugh today!" a falsetto voice growled by the left! "or Laugh tomorrow!", another falsetto voice growled by the Right.

He knew from experience; in his 24yrs of existence, he'd had, countless bouts of 'sleep paralysis' as a post on nairaland, had described what was now happening to him. Sleep paralysis; the brain's complicated Instruction to the body,to stay still, and not act a dream script' His mum's explanation, when he had once related the experience to her had been "it is a spiritual attack o, that occurs only when you do not pray before going to bed!" karamo made it a point of duty then, to pray before going to bed, but the 'spiritual attack' hadn't stopped, sometimes during a bout of 'sleep paralysis' he saw the figure of a woman clad in a black robe, sewing something with a thread , then looking up at him and taunting him, by moving her eyeballs from side to side and grinning from side to side.