For more jokes text LIAR to 32185

nairavsdollars:

https://independent.ng/buhari-will-effectively-tackle-all-our-challenges-before-leaving-office-in-2023-presidency/

The best precaution we could have taken was to close the border earlier not when we have started having few cases

murecool:
*STATE HOUSE PRESS RELEASE: PRESIDENT BUHARI URGES PRECAUTION, NOT FEAR ON CORONAVIRUS CASES*

Nigeria, like every other country around the world, is dealing with the unexpected and unprecedented impact of the Covid-19 pandemic. The Muhammadu Buhari administration has taken some steps to mitigate the effects on the Nigerian people.

To prevent the spread of cases imported into Nigeria, the President has already ordered the restrictions of travel from 13 countries, each with more than 1,000 confirmed cases of Covid-19. Government has also suspended visas issued to nationals of these countries. The restriction will take effect from March 21 and will remain until further notice. While Nigeria delights in welcoming the world, the safety and protection of our citizens and land must take priority.

The various agencies of government including Media owned by the government have embarked on vigorous campaigns promoting hygiene measures. There are, currently, very stringent regimes of checks at the points of air and sea entry into the country. The effort Nigeria is making as is well known, has already received the commendation of the World Health Organisation (WHO).

The Presidency wishes to assure Nigerians that government is on top of the situation. There is no cause for panic. So far measures put in place are working efficiently. What this country is doing has been recommended as a template.

The President trusts the relevant Ministers in his cabinet and the officials of the National Centre for Disease Control (NCDC), who are providing him with constant updates and professional counsel. These officials have a track record of competence.

The President instructed the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC) to reduce the pump price of fuel. The Covid-19 pandemic has led to a crash in the global price of crude oil, and the President decided that every Nigerian should benefit from this.

Subsequently, the NNPC announced a 20 naira deduction, and the pump price of fuel has now been reduced from 145 naira per litre to 125 naira per litre.

The Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) on Monday announced a credit relief of N1.1Trillion Naira to businesses affected by the pandemic. The Bank has also established a facility for household, small and medium enterprises (SMEs) and announced a reduction of interest rates for loans from 9% to 5%.

We do not want to create panic. But we will continue to update the Nigerian public with relevant information. We plead with every Nigerian to cooperate with the government in the fight against Covid-19 and obey all instructions from the NCDC. We have a high level Presidential Coordination Committee chaired by the Secretary to the Government of the Federation (SGF). This body should be allowed to carry out its duties.

We also plead with Nigerians not to see this most peculiar of times as one to be politicised or seen as an opportunity to regurgitate grudges against the government or the ruling All Progressives Congress (APC). North, South, East, and West – all Nigerians must unite to fight this plague, irrespective of religious or ideological affiliation.

In this regard, populist advocacies such as the one accusing the President of “complacency” simply because he has not made a television address by ranking members of our respected parliament are cheap and sensational. These are not the times for populism and cheap politics.

President Buhari thanks all those at the forefront of the fight against the deadly disease.

*Garba Shehu*
Senior Special Assistant to the President
(Media & Publicity)
March 19, 2020

Their bus still dey load for Oshodi park..���

Enoch07:
y our flag no dey there? our scientists Neva reach see?

Koto Aye
Ige Adubi
Edunjobi
Baba Londoner

omoiyamayor:
Iru shin
Jensimi
Yemi my lover
Toluwa Nile
Arelu
Booty call
Juice
Problem child

I don't know when I said God catch them.May God forgive me. RIP to them [1quote author=ExAngel007 post=86326499]

Two police officers have died after their car
crashed while they were chasing a commercial
vehicle.

According to reports, the officers, who were
driving an official police car, chased after a
Sienna carrying passengers along the Ogoni/
Akwa Ibom road. In the course of the chase,
the police car crashed into a bush and
somersaulted.

Two officers died in the crash while the
Sienna zoomed off.









https://mobile.twitter.com/unklebassey/status/1224014567962841088[/quote]

Las las nah him go be tenant for his own house. Modafucker landlord. The funny thing is one of his children is a Marlian and Igbo smoker

BlackHarp:
Read Below !!!

Mind you that this is a Lodge for University ooooo

They hardly believe me if I said I'm broke.All the pictures and location nah Audio. Enugbe, I need help...��

IyaTola:
What's that misconception that people have about you?

1. Men find it difficult to believe it when I say am not in a relationship . They will be like "fine girl like you ".
2. Most of my friends think am so rich and comfortable. When I say I don't have money to give them, am tagged wicked.
3. Alot of people see me as cold, rigid and stubborn maybe because of how I Express myself or how I look. But the few close people in my life will always attest to how soft I can get.

Another term used are Lace or Ankara. I think lace is used to describe the Male sex victim and Ankara is a female

Restroom:
Ritualist terms for kidnapped passengers and human parts:
Pure water
Coconut
Goats
Ice block

If you are travelling on interstate and you hear the driver using such terms while speaking with someone on the phone....well....start to fire prayer....he may telling the parson on the other end....the number of victims he has

If your driver was on phone call while travelling and after some time, he slows down and says his engine his faulty or has broken down, wow, the driver is about to sell the passengers to ritualist

If within minutes of the vehicle breaking down, another commericial vehicle suddenly shows up to rescue the passengers, that's a perfect kidnap strategy
Even if it is your original driver that uses phone to call another driver to come and rescue you. be suspicious....he might be offloading his cargoe to ritualists who have already paid him.

A driver whose vehicle breaks down is supposed to work on it and continue the journey if he starts looking for another vehicle for you guys....that's a bad omen

Finally, if your vehicle breaks down while travelling....be wary of vehicles that come to rescue you.....

For a long time, this how some wicked commercial interstate drivers in government parks facilitate the kidnap of their passengers....by deliberately stranding them in the middle of nowhere but the passengers usually don't know

Baba dey famz Dangote ni

tonye33:
Was Oshiomhole trying to hide his face?

Thank you Prof...�

olatilldend:
How can you be late for airport? You can only be late for a flight!

Keep calling Lati till he picks

kidap:
Weeks after Shoki Shitta was beating by Baruwa Eleniyan for disrespecting Wizkid and praising Davido on Instagram, he was promised 1Million naira.

But in a recent video shokki shitta claims the Singer has not fulfilled the promise.

Watch video below..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQCr1u47UHU



Source: https://gidifeed.com/shokki-shitta-claims-davido-has-not-given-him-the-1m-he-promised-him/

If I die by Dagrin

obembet:
Which song is the best to listen to while waiting for your HIV test result?

I think mine is "Its well, Its well with my Soul"

Photoshop I guess...�

Kingbones:
The guy had no beards in the first photo









Nice one tho

w

FTC...But why all these sad stories in Lagos island recently?

gistvicconnects:
@Gistvic.com

There has been a fire out break at Abibu Oki street in Lagos Island. Gistvic Reports.

Reports says Lagos state fire services are nowhere to be found.

More Details Coming Shortly......

See More Photos Below:

Source: https://www.gistvic.com/2019/03/fire-outbreak-at-abibu-oki-lagos-island.html

Yakubu Dogara is a Christian

Peacemaker5128:
just go and die we don't care

I sight you Ajibade..✌

tourismlove:
more pictures

YOU CAN JOIN US ON OUR NEXT TRIP BY FOLLOWING THIS LINK http://toursnigeria.com/tour-package/

I sight you Ajibade...✌✌✌

tourismlove:
more pictures

YOU CAN JOIN US ON OUR NEXT TRIP BY FOLLOWING THIS LINK http://toursnigeria.com/tour-package/

Contact me for confirm Odeshi..�

enemyofprogress:
TO CARRY BALLOT BOX RUN ON SATURDAY JUST THEY HUNGRY ME���������

Congrats on your winnings.

Dbetpick:
She cut my ticket, way I give Nigeria to beat South Africa for that final, just she and goalkeeper she miss am oo
all the way congratulation for her move to barca

congratulation to me as I beat bet9ja again

B921SWQZTTWAWT-865682

GREEN

So since 10 years ago, you never see money buy another earring?

G1STM0RE:
See more love up kisses photos here >>> https://gistmore.com/10yearschallenge-actor-bolanle-ninolowo-wife-kisses-in-then-vs-recent-photos

Something like wetin dis girl carry for chest ??

DhimxyMaxwell:
That 4th picture bis good for a meme like if you agree

Show us a picture of them standing together as proof

lordkush:
buhari a tall man. taller than saraki.




jubrin average man.

saraki taller than him

Are you also thinking what I'm thinking..

slyng:
But you ignored and deleted the message. How come you sent it back? Koyemi o

Don't you have gf? Tell him your gf is coming around

edoman2016:
Hello nairalander,
I need advice on how to tell a friend to stop coming with his girlfriend to my apartment to have sex. This friend of mine, we went to the same university and know each other from there. He is based in Akwa Ibom and into palm oil business. When he comes to Lagos for supply to stores, he resides at his parents' house which is very close to where my apartment is.

However, when he wants to have sex with a girl in Lagos, he brings her to my apartment because he knows I am not yet married. Rather than sleeping with the girl in his parents house. I am tired of it and I don't like it but I don't know how to tell him so that it won't end our friendship. He is quite an intelligent and ambitious man.

What do you think I should do about it?

It's 6 am Monday morning, wake up from your dream.

ChiefAzubuike:
I was in that wedding live it was a sight to behold. When I got to the gate, they initially didn't want me to go in because I had forgotten my IV card at home. I had to put a call through Darius Ishaku's P.A and the governor himself came and ordered 3 mopol escorts to direct me to my seat. As a respected chief and elder I am, everyone was just staring at me. Even the hot pretty , educated Fulani chicks in that occasion. See hot Hausa and Fulani chicks everywhere. I really enjoyed myself. This is what we call a wedding ceremony.

ITbomb:
Let's see her WAEC result

Mayweather is not in d same league with these people. They are in heavyweight category

ominilongest:
Baba dey fire..so na d same person one mumu dey tell me say e go beat mayweatheer b dz ....

But they didn't mention her age.

veekid:
She looks older than her age .... Buh wetin konsain me?