₦airaland Forum

Sunnypa11:
Because their puna might have suffered and the boobs might have fall like Naira

Funny you! Or maybe not....have you never seen a 60s Rolls-Royce still in good condition and stylish too?

pizzylee:
doesn't necessarily mean dey r any of those tnz .......few may not av nt fault just time n destiny, most aw ever CNT settle for average, I mean money.... n d most insane ones r picky in dea 30's

I quite agree with your first point but the last? Nope. So now that she's in her 30ties, she should marry whomever comes- ritualists, alcoholics, violent men and all...just to become a "mrs"? That could be risky.

I mean being too careful isn't wise but throwing caution to the winds just to tie the knots could be worse.

SINZ:
Something definitely prompted it. I personally don't think they were the ones doing the rejecting during their prime. I think they may have been rejected a couple of times due to varying factors of which, BAD character takes the top spot.

You may be right- in some cases not all. A lot of women with "Bad" character are married too. Don't you agree?

EXCUSEme2:

Lol. Why the face? You don't think the meme is right?

Hello nairalanders...

The assumption by most in our society that she's paying for her atrocities; for being wayward; shallow; is simply disgusting. when 're we going to stop this fallacy? Why lump people whom stories you're unaware of together and assume you know it all?

I came across a man mocking this category of ladies yesterday. Prattling on about how they rejected upcoming men while waiting for "rich" men. Were you there? Did she reject you? Even if she rejected you, so everyone else must be exactly like her?

Here's my thoughts on this- http://kareninspirational.com/2017/04/22/why-the-assumption-that-all-ladies-above-30-and-unmarried-were-shallow-and-wayward/

Ineedinfo where U @

I'm glad someone else has same view as I did on my thread. I missed the opportunity to contribute on time.

Gshegg:
Time wasters!!!

Exactly!

greatnaija01:
HOW MANY FOLKS DID YOUR PARENTS DATE AND SLEEP WITH

SO IS IT THAT YOUR PARENTS WERE NAIVE? how come you feel the mental growth and adaptive growth must come through sex or experience with multiple partners...

TELL THAT TO YOUR FUTURE DAUGHTER

Thank you so much! Most of what is being termed relationship these days are nothing like one. It can be described as symbiosis. Ask him/her of his/her partner's strongest points, weakest points, character, what he/she likes or hate passionately. They may not know.

Some think relationship means free sex. There's a lot more to a healthy relationship and sex isn't what's built on, if the main intent is to get to know the other person better.

Gshegg:
Most people go into relationships for the objective of getting married, but then you see your partner bring out a behavior which you don't like and there's nothing you can do to correct, you just have to move on and look for another partner to complement you.

That may be true for some and such people move on when they realize things won't workout with that partner. But some would lead him or her on for years but tell friends behind his/her back, they won't settle down with such person with "these -that" character.

greatnaija01:
very nice thread BUT most who enter relationships simply wanna CHOP their portion WITHOUT washing the plate

GREED is what we call love these days, GREED is wanting to date someone for just the present NEEDS and EMOTIONS without caring about the FUTURE.

Exactly. Some will even know they don't actually feel anything for the person. They will still hang on like sponge- just for whatever benefits they derive from the relationship.

Hello Nairalander...

I hope we all had a great day.
Well...this topic is certainly for the singles. Eligible bachelors and ladies. Ladies, please don't lead guys on. If you can't picture him in your life or see him as a potential life partner- don't deceive him. Don't let him sponsor you through school, pay your bills and so forth.

Guys, if she isn't whom you could spend the rest of your life with, then leave her alone. If you don't share similar values and you're dissatisfied with the relationship- walk way now. Leave her for someone more suitable for her to find. You would in time find what you need too. Someone in sync with you. Don't just waste anyone's time when you know deep down, that you're not ready.
Here's more- http://kareninspirational.com/2017/02/21/dont-waste-anyones-time-all-in-the-name-of-relationship/

afoshat:
I could not even enjoy what i was reading about in the blog, cause the use of English there nah gbagam, please abeg, try fix ur words a lil bit better , u could possibly get a proof reader to go through your work but abeg u gats improve on an

Lol. Where's your sense of humor? Maybe you would prefer a doomsayer? Anyway, what's your opinion on the matter?

FitnessDoctor:
Before I will answer your personal question..

You talked about ladies who wouldn't marry criminals and wouldn't even go near devious wealthy rich men... What you talk about is the ladies choice of who she wants to be with.. Which is what every Nigerian lady believes that she has a choice to choose who what she likes and what she doesn't... and in the end judging from her appearances, actions and reactions, she is not fit to even be in what she thinks she is..

I am not concluding on my experience, If you read what I wrote up there well, I told you that I talked with a lot of ladies and they relate same with me... I have met a lot of ladies in this life and I mean a lot... more than the men that will ever make advances to you in your lifetime..

Most ladies values are based on emotions... He is not my type.. He doesn't know to make me feel good... He is too demanding... He doesn't pay me much attention..

here is what google defines standards as "a level of quality or attainment" or "something used as a measure, norm, or model in comparative evaluations"

You can see there that it is not just about what the lady think she wants or likes.. that is all about standards... It is something that is valuable..

It is not that I am a woman and you have to respect that..

But that I plan my daily activities and you have to respect my careful planning... (that is quality.. she is focused, straight forwards and confident)..

Back to your question...

I don't actually re-mode any girl I date... But they re-mode themselves, I am not just any kind of guy you see out there... Ladies have always tried to be of their best behaviour and show their good sides when they are around me... my girl (exes) always does something intelligent, fun and smart to impress me.... She thinks highly of herself just because of who I am and you can't see her doing what the average Nigerian ladies do just because it makes me look mediocre..

That is what she had because of me... Standards...

hmm...I see where you're headed. You didn't re-mode your exes of course. They just had to "work" on themselves. You haven't really grasped what I'm talking about. You've a standard, a lady has her own. She wants to go for M.sc, P.hd etc. For instance, she's "on a clock" to marry. Pressured by peers, family, society. She doesn't get to "propose" to herself.

If she's a conversative kind of girl...you see her accepting a marital proposal from someone on a different page entirely. Husband to be might be a chauvinist that'd prefer a housewife or not comfortable with all that furthering of education stuff. For peace sake...she relents. She has just lowered her standard. That's just an example. There're other instances too.

A lady banker could be told by a fiancé, immediately after marriage she should quit. She accepts even though she loves her job. Ladies lower their standards everyday for such unions to happen on a weekly basis.

My concern here however is- being made to discard as unimportant what you hold dear, just to marry. Hope it won't breed, resentment, attitude, disrespect, discontent, disillusionment into that "very" marriage you so wanted that made you lower those standard to start with?

BUTCHCASSIDY:
I read it bit you said what I feel most will agree with where you said while lowering the standards one should ve wise about it. The rest of the write up was just a blurr to me

Lol. Well.... Ladies and men aren't wired the same way. A lady may resent a guy whom she view as a source of constant embarrassment to her. This isn't even about the female gender, men too. For instance a well educated man/ lady who married a homely but not intellectually sophisticated like him/her may end up mistreating that spouse because they may not have much in common.

ucheHapers:
You're right, I'm clicking....don't bite me

Lol. Good for you!

Prettythicksmi:
oh damm!i feel like slaping ya face op.

Whoa! why's that? lol. What's my offense?

FitnessDoctor:
Actually most Nigerian women don't have standards... I remember a girl I dated and she was demanding... But I didn't care... (my responsibility as the boyfriend is to take care of her).... She demanded all the material things when she felt she lacked them and I wasn't concerned, but she never demanded for knowledge, wisdom and a way to make her dreams come true... She never demanded to be a better woman everyday... When we broke up.. I asked her why she didn't demand for those things and she told me that she likes her life the way it is and there is no need to go over the headache of those serious things... and I have met so many ladies like these and they told me the same thing

Most Nigerian women don't have anything to lower at all.. It is just society that makes them think they are worth a dime....

You can see them looking good and for what... just for a man to date them and marry them... and that is it (the end of their lives)... No deep ambitions, no true plans for futuristic growth and achievements.

So where are the standards? Is it because you are human and you deserve the best that is why you think you actually have standards? Is it because you are educated? Is it because most men are after what is in between your legs.. that is why you think you have standards?

What does standards mean to a lady? Just ask yourself first before replying me...

Whoa! we're not all, one size fits all...you know. Sadly you've met the type that makes us all look stupid. We do 've standards though.

Some of us detest criminals, abusive men, philanderers, paedophiles, men mercurial in nature, lazy men with no ambitions whatsoever for their lives, sadists. That's not all. The list goes on and on.

There're ladies that won't marry a devious man, no matter how wealthy he's. There're those that won't marry a spender, a gambler, a violent man, lewd fellow. Some actually left men they felt deeply for just because they'd different values.

Please, don't conclude due to your previous experiences- that girls don't 've standards. A lot do growing up, but then societal pressure to marry or be lumped as a wayward girl, if you didn't marry on time- made them discard their standards to marry all sort of miscreants.

Let me ask you a personal question. Are you a type that tries to re-mode your girl? Some ladies hate that with passion. Most ladies would rather you support them on that which they 've passion for than being force fed what you'd prefer.

ucheHapers:
Not clicking...bite me

Lol. what you could find might save you a lot of stress in the future. Not always about appearance...u know?

FitnessDoctor:
Another blogger another journey..

Altnough the blog would use a lot of designing and structure.. since it seems out of place and most people that go to read it wouldn't want to come back

Hmm...that said. what's your view on the topic? Most times in life, the treasures 're found in the last place you'd care to look. You know...?

Hello nairaland ladies and gentlemen...

I have a question for ladies in the house. Uhm...guys too. Well...I know it's unheard of, a taboo even, to ask such question among "marriage craze" fanatics that we have in our society. Now- I'm not against one lowering he's /her standard to get married.

My question is; can you cope with the new standard? Here's my thought on this issue- http://kareninspirational.com/2016/07/14/lowering-your-standards/

Hello nairalanders...

Well...there're people who exhibit this trait in their relationship without being aware of it. It's a deal breaker. Don't bury your head in the sand and whine later that you were abandoned due to this or that- it could just be that you were emotionally distant. what's your thoughts on this? Here's mine- http://kareninspirational.com/2017/03/31/selfishness-in-relationships/

hello nairalanders...
This trend especially in our higher institutions has got me thinking. What are the benefits? If there are benefits at all. I'd love to hear them on here at least to quench my curiosity because here's my thoughts on this issue- http://kareninspirational.com/2017/04/08/is-there-relevance-to-cohabiting/

BUTCHCASSIDY:
Hmm. I like the way you bring out some angles

[quote author=BUTCHCASSIDY post=55234479]Yes nau...there are always many angles to a story when we allow our minds to think deep, with open mind of course.

BUTCHCASSIDY:
well maybe he is the type that doesnt like to take the lead.... who knows

Lol. I don't think he was into that girl. You noticed how he made sure we understood the girl "instigated " the whole thing? His own words; "I wanted to keep it simple." What if she was just bragging to get his attention? What if she's not sleeping with all those guys? Well...I think none of those act bothered him because he doesn't really have deep feelings for her, only reacted because she's meddling into his affairs. I could be wrong though...

charlsecy:
You blame the wrong stuff. Blame your lie about whether it was poo or pee!

Lol. At that point, I guess she was too pressed for such questions. If she had said shit, how 're u sure she wouldn't 've pooed on herself before they got to the neighbor's flat? This is purge we are talking about...

Vhicthorade:
But shey you no get hand ni, you poo you pack by yourself. No story

Lol! My though exactly. Op you didn't try o. You don't do well under pressure, I guess. No one can fault what happened to you. It's quite sad and embarrassing...where I fault you is on your inaction when shit hit the fan. You didn't call for a mop and bucket, at least pack your own shit. Even if they wanted to assist. You should've insisted on cleaning that bathroom on your own. Watching someone clean up such mess for you should even embarrass you more than a purge which could happen to anyone

Hello Nairalanders...
Happy Sunday to you all...
Now, what's your thought on this topic? Guys do you just go with the flow or discuss what you want out of the relationship with any girl you date?

Ladies... have you ever initiated that talk of defining your relationship? What was the outcome? Is defining a relationship relevant? Does it matter? Well...here's my thought; http://kareninspirational.com/2016/11/14/is-it-necessary-to-define-a-relationship/

BUTCHCASSIDY:
This is the kinda stuff I hate
why lead the young man on. WTF
Ineedinfo see that shìt we was talking about

Lol! Exactly, the girl is crazy. But why did the Op allow that to go on unchecked? she wanted an open relationship, yet was jealous when op tries to escape her leash. Eating her cake and having it.

Op seems unusually unconcerned. could it be he was playing the "I don't give a damn" card from the start. Allowing the babe take the rein of the relationship. Calling the shots because he wasn't really interested in her, until she started meddling on his business with other babes?

Op, you don't keep acting as if being with a particular girl is doing her a favour and expect her to be intimate with you anytime you want... maybe you should define what you want from each other. Check this thread out- https://www.nairaland.com/3709326/dont-put-all-eggs-one

Op, why do you think a woman who wants to help you control your wealth isn't a helper? Let go of such mind set. A woman can help control your wealth through her business sense, her hard work, knowing how to manage resources available to her. Or are you simply saying you need an "already made" lady?

If the latter is what you are searching for, it could become a turnoff to ladies you meet. You may have found what you need already, yet your eyes are glued far ahead for already made ladies.

BUTCHCASSIDY:
Dont mind them. Thats what every relationship needs. If people did more of what you just said so many heartaches would be avoided. Times have changed even women have changed in their approach to stuff.

Lol. Abi oo, I believe so too.

BUTCHCASSIDY:
Absolutely
Thats why I advocate that people should always know where they stand in a relationship. Ask questions, demand answers, make sure everything is clear.

Lol. Same here...I always ask upfront though I've been told it's unladylike and "too forward" for a lady.

BUTCHCASSIDY:
I take it by "open relationship" you mean each partner is free to do or see other people shey
If one is in such a relationship and both parties understand that its an open thing then fine no qualms
Problem is after declaring your relationship open, dont come back and start actin jealous or posessive.
Me Im not judgemental O. I understand why peoplle do these things and I believe people should do as they please as long as it doesnt hurt others.

Exactly my point too. If one suggested an open relationship and the partner accepted, then jealousy/possessiveness is uncalled for. In such scenario accepting casual dates shouldn't be termed "cheating."