His breath probably smells really bad.

Love has no boundaries.

Vinnie2000:
You better stop ur Hate!
Many of his critics are morally bankrupt!

Some sleep with dier bosses, lecturers, friend's Boyfriend or husband and still come online to bash Yul.

Only few pple are morally upright in Nigeria!

Hi, Yul. You seem quite bothered by a simple statement.

The more I hear about Yul Edochie, the more I dislike him.

The more I read about this man, the more I dislike him.

TechbI0gger:
move away and leave his old age parents to the mercy of his heartless brother?
moonshine101 kindly disregard this foolish comment I am quoting.
get a job, stay with your parents and watch over them, save and invest with your money.
don't leave your parents to that criminal.
What he needs is a mental rehabilitation center

You don't understand. The OP's brother is like cancer. I don't mean to sound dramatic but this is the best illustration I can come up with. Everything the brother touches, he infects and pollutes. Look at what this older brother has done to his own family for years, especially with the parents who enable the older brother's behavior.

What would it look like if the OP got a job and decided to stay? OP would become the breadwinner of the family, OP's money would make its way to the older brother (via the parents) and the older brother will continue with his selfish actions. Or it would go to OP's nephew who is still a kid and possibly attends school, or to repair the old house that the older brother destroyed, or to replace items in the new house that the older brother steals. It would be an endless cycle that would leave OP so financially depleted they would not be able to continue with their own life (finding a place, saving money, buying a car, etc.)

A person cannot take care of others unless they take care of themselves first. OP needs to keep their well-being intact before trying to figure out what they can do to help their parents.

OP, there is not much you can do. Throughout your write-up, you don't mention an instance where you've seen him using drugs. But regardless of whether he's a drug user or not, your brother's actions are indeed selfish, entitled, and self-centered. Just reading this makes me frustrated on your behalf.

As far as I'm concerned, both your parents enable his behavior, perhaps your mother to a greater degree. But I'm not understanding other people's responses, saying the situation is solely on the mother's shoulders. Both parents have played their roles in this situation. That being said, my statement isn't really coming from a place of blame on them. With the Nigerian culture we have, it's incredibly difficult to "cut off" family, especially one's child. Your parents obviously still care for their son, or at the very least, feel obligated toward him. I don't know if your parents will ever be in a position to go no contact with him.

As for you, you need to protect yourself. Your brother has realized you are of no use to him, hence how he ignores you. But that doesn't mean your personal items, your mental well-being, and peace of mind are safe in such an environment. I would recommend finding a job as soon as possible, moving in with friends (if that's an option), or moving out on your own quickly. People like your brother must always be kept at arms' length because they will never learn from their errors because they are literally blind to them. It's always someone else's fault, they always have some kind of excuse for their actions, and they always take advantage of situations or manipulate those around them to get what they want. As soon as you're financially independent, leave that house and just go no contact with him. Good luck.

OP, it sounds like the assistant does not wear antiperspirant deodorant. The bolded is very important. There are deodorants that eliminate body odor but not sweat. This is not good because excessive sweating---especially in a hot climate like Nigeria's---can lead to body odor over time. That's why it's very important for everyone to wear antiperspirant deodorant. Please note that using body sprays (aka perfumes) only is not a good idea because it will, at best, mask the odor or, at worst, blend with body odor and make an even worse smell.

OP, this is a delicate issue. If you're comfortable enough with your assistant, you can approach her and tell you have a sensitive issue but you need a woman's perspective on it. Tell her that a young female cousin of yours does not wear antiperspirant deodorant, it leads to severe body odor, and you don't know how to address the issue with this cousin because you don't want to embarrass her or offend her. If you're assistant were you, how would she handle this situation? Make sure to emphasize with this assistant the difference between deodorant and antiperspirant, as I explained in the previous paragraph. You can even go so far as to ask the assistant if she has any personal recommendations for which antiperspirant she uses because you trust her opinion greatly. Even suggest some of the antiperspirants that you "bought" for your young, female cousin and see if she thinks they are good brands.

If this assistant has any common sense, she will think inwardly and wonder about her own body odor and hygiene regimen. Most people in her situation would, especially when you're asking her about her opinion. And this, hopefully, would greatly hint to her to go examine herself and purchase the antiperspirant.

By doing this, you confront the issue without confronting her and potentially offending your assistant and losing an employee. Good luck.

I wish Bobrisky would go away.

Nigerian people and gender roles. It's so ingrained in everything, even the way people think. Smh.

OP, you're wrong. When most men ask this question, they're just biding their time until they see an opening to hopefully advance the relationship to something sexual and/or romantic. Most men do not involve themselves with women, let alone want friendship, unless they are attracted to her or she could be useful to them.

You need to speak with your wife and develop a schedule on how you will equitably share the responsibilities. Another person suggested bringing in a third party the wife respects and I disagree. Don't bring another person into your marriage unless they are a third party neutral, such as a marriage counselor or therapist, not a family member.

OP, in your post you are trivializing what your wife does. Raising children, cooking, and cleaning are not easy tasks because they never stop. Yes, you go to work but there's a closing time and there's the weekend. You have downtime. In addition, you're comparing your wife to other women. Please stop. Every marriage is different and you're only seeing them from the outside. You have no idea what goes on in those marriages. The fact that you see child-rearing, cooking, and cleaning as no big deal or not as important as what you do is a problem.

And you mention that you do things in the morning for the kids before going to work. And? OP, you are a parent and spouse now. Those things are expected of you. You don't get bonus points or accolades for doing what is expected of you. Talk to your wife.

DaBaby hits women and forces himself on women. There are videos out there if anyone tries to accuse me of lying. Please don't promote him on this website.

robosky02:


Is it everything Google tell them

Yes, because some of these men don't know the answer themselves. There are consequences of not having sex education in Nigerian schools. This is one of them.

Why would any person ask these questions when Google is available? That second question is not ignorant though. Some people honestly don't know that men have erections in the morning.

Some of the comments are disgusting. Instead of focusing on the tragic death, there are people in this thread saying that he was killed by fellow Igbos. Does everything need to go back to tribes and ethnic groups? Some of you are so lost and confused. May this man rest in peace.

OP, you need to calm down. First, every woman is different. That means that not every woman is into cunnilingus. Second, those who are into cunnilingus may prefer it in a certain way. What one woman may have enjoyed with you, another may not. So while you're going down, you need to gauge her reactions or lack thereof and try different things.

Third, you let yourself be discouraged too quickly. Did your woman push you away? Did she tell you stop? No, she just laughed. Do you know the kinds of noises that happen sometimes when people engage in oral, anal, or sexúal intercourse? Partners, if they're comfortable with each other, just laugh and continue. You could've rolled with it, maybe even laughed too, and continued to see what she could potentially like, especially since she's never had cunnilingus performed on her before.

Finally, not every person likes being kissed after MouthAction. Perhaps your woman wasn't used to it or expecting it because, again, she's never done the oral sêx thing before. Again, you could've rolled with it. Kissed her neck, kissed her in other places, etc. You need to learn to not let certain things during those intimate moments rattle your confidence so much. Good luck, OP.

Deeply inappropriate. What would it have cost him to wait until next week? Smh.

NobleAngell:
Really like it when fathers allow their children access to their wealth comfortably. Not some fathers that will tell you they suffered and so you must suffer too.

There should be a balance. Parents should let their children enjoy it but not to the extent that the children feel entitled to it or feel their parents' wealth belongs to them.

I can't stand Buhari. He's so useless.

Myexdisturbs:

He's not married, thats the babe mama

My bad. Though OP should still leave.

It's time for a divorce. Your partner has basically been cheating on you for the duration of your relationship. You need to take time for yourself to heal once you divorce your partner. Then, when you're ready, find a new person who will treat you the way you should be treated.

lovehelp:
Please kindly advise:

I am having a friend that I have brought the idea of marriage to. I have not concluded with her on my marital decision because of some issues. One of the issue is that she is 22, while I am 35. She is tall and she works. That age difference is a concern to me.

Please kindly advise on this

This right here. If I'm understanding correctly, you haven't even spoken to her about how you want to take the relationship to the next level. Why? How do you know she wants that or she'll even agree to it? Before starting up about the age difference, you need to have a serious chat with her and see if marriage with you is what she even wants.

Edited for formatting.

Dorwadora:
My partner is always willing to learn and know more about my body and my reproductive system.

After reading all those testimonies up there


I guess I'm lucky

Madam, you shouldn't have to consider yourself lucky because your partner is willing to learn. His willingness to understand your body and the female reproductive system should be the standard, not some special benchmark.

It's like some people have forgotten how incompetent GEJ was as president. His entire political career has been him being at the right place at the right time or him being a convenient placeholder because he's from the South, never about his lack of qualifications.

haywhy17:



Person wey never get sense. I’m sure it’s the prospect of leaving.

Oh shut the hell up. No one asked you and don't patronize me. A person can be still excited about traveling but sad about leaving family members behind for an indefinite amount of time. OP deliberately didn't call their mother and got awkward when their sister understandably cried when they were leaving for the U.K. But suddenly, had emotions to express for this partner. Use your sense before quoting me again.

OP, you showed more emotion reuniting with your partner than you did saying goodbye to your family members. Anyway, good luck. Racism is real there.

OP, I think your biggest priority right now is finding a job or trade so you can manage yourself. Taking out a loan will not help you in the long run.

Also, why is your woman giving you ultimatums? Someone who truly cares for you would not put you in such a situation, especially since she knows your financial hardships. Maybe you should be friends until you can get your finances in order.

HiFive:
I have a problem. I don't know if its really a problem but this often happens to me. I see I girl I like, I walk to her, tell her how I feel about her, we exchange contact and later do all the follow ups and stuffs but eventually looses my interest for her for no good reason at all. Just like that puff, every thing gone to the wind.

Then fast forward few weeks later and she calls complaining how I have abandoned her how I don't care about her no more... And this kinda makes me feel sorry for them and also makes me ponder that maybe I'm not cut out for relationship shenanigans. But I'm cool tho.

...and another same episode begins.

OP, first, you mentioned that you have feelings prior to exchanging numbers. With all due respect, you don't have feelings for them. It's just lust because you like what you see. You're seeing them for the first time, how can feelings develop in such a short amount of time? Nothing is wrong with lust or having a connection, just wanted to clarify that point.

Second, you're a bit vague about why you lose interest and this is something you alone can pinpoint. Is it because the conversation is lacking? Is it because you realize you don't share the same interests? Is it because she may have said something that turned you off without realizing it?

Third, the women who are calling you to complain that you've lost interest should be avoided, in my humble opinion. You're not dating them, you're not in a relationship with them. You're just talking. You don't really owe them anything and vice versa. If people were emotionally mature about this whole "getting to know you" phase prior to dating, why would anyone call to complain about someone not calling enough? They would just move on to the next potential partner. If they do happen to call you in the future and you're not feeling them anymore, you can something like, "You seem like a nice person. But I think this is going down a platonic friendship route. Have a good day."

Good luck, OP.