₦airaland Forum

Phemour:
cld u plz spk lauder?

Do you need a new hearing aid?

@Phemour: Pscheew, who else do you think Im talking to?

@Pweety: Which kain business you even dey do sef?

What do you mean and so? You think this is a Kenny G Jazz live show?

Can't you see from my profile, from my date of registration, that Im a newbie?

I dont expect any pity from any of you, thanks. What I need is advice. Do you think a reverse surgery is worth the possibility of future complications?

Perfectly beautiful with no rough edges, every contour is a pretty curve.

@Goodass: My address no be your consain, abi u wan come my house by force ni?

@Pweety4me: Abi u like koboko? U sabi say Nigerian girls need koboko?

hollandis:
ewwwww transgendered!!!

Please dont make things worse. Please.

Is this not the type of yawa that needs to be treated with correct koboko?

goodass:
@ladi
r u seein correctly,sir?

@ Pw
isn't that a beautiful way to say 'good morning'?

Do you mean am I seeing a good ass that is pweety 4 me?

Is it because of simple infatuation that the two of you are arguing back and forth?

platinumnk:
list the pros and cons, and i think u can go back, but u wont have everything.

Yes thats what the surgeon meant. I had to sign a consent form with the understanding that if in the future I wanted a reverse transexual operation, things are not guaranteed to work fine. I may not be able to have kids again, although my hormones can be reactivated and I can feel like a woman. He also said that there may be other complications which he didnt mention exactly. It is not usually advisable to do a reverse transexual operation, he said.

ezinne1212:
oh!! maybe you should seek professional counselling.  I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through but i'm sure a professional individual along with the person who loves you will see you through your plight.

I doubt that my girlfriend will understand. I tested her already by asking her what she would do if she found out that I was actually a whiteman in a black skin, a reverse of Michael Jackson and she did not talk to me for two hours, she said I was deliberately trying to make her vomit, that it was a nasty and irritating thing to even think about. If i tell her the truth, she will really freak out.

I have been seeing a psychologist (NOT psychiatrist o) but all that she's doing is to simply try to make me forget the girl inside me. i dont think its going to work. In my dreams I keep seeing myself as a girl. Never as a boy.

I have been praying too, but I dont even know again.

clogogo:
cant change your skin girl

Thanks clogogo, but i really need to know what to do. This thing is starting to mess me up inside,

I was born female, but I didn't really like it. I have always admired girls more, but not in a lesbian manner. I wanted to really love girls like a guy. So when I was 21 I had the liberty to undergo a sexual change. My mom would have disagreed but she is dead, my dad never bothers about anything concerning me anyway. So I went ahead and did it. It was weird cos so many things are different now, at first I still used to feel very feminine. In fact, people accused me of being gay. To make matters worse, Im still a virgin. The girls I used to fantasize about being with, I cant even approach them now. I just want to be friends with them, but I feel very uncomfortable around guys.

The surgeon said it was a major step and I will not be able to go back, but I wish I could go back. I have thought of committing suicide many times but my friends have always saved me. Many times, my friends (they dont know my history because I did the surgery in the UK before I came back to 9ja) that are guys, they have made plans to have sex with one girl or the other and dump her afterwards and I always step in to save the girl from their hands because I have been there. In one case, it landed me in trouble. I even fell in love with the girl in the process. I discussed it here on NL and people were castigating me without understanding all the pains I'm even going through.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-342673.0.html

And yes, I have a girlfriend now. I don't have sex with her because  i don't believe in premarital sex, and also because it is weird. Just thinking about it makes me feel like a homo. I'm very confused now about my sexuality. Does anybody have any advice for me?

You just met him/her, and you have just 20 seconds before he/she changes his/her mind FOREVER about you. 20 seconds for the love of your life. What will you do / say? Guys and Girls, feel free to answer.

What part of "This is all a joke" (as I said at the start) don't you guys get? LOL.

When (in the past), I answered girls like this, they KNEW I was joking cos I joke a lot.

@Ujujoan: If the girl has actually gained some pounds (and Im not talking Queen Elizabeth money, LOL), then it will always be the WRONG avenue to tell her at the time she asks. We guys will end up with an emotional wreck when a girl asks u such and u tell her. She will say you were not planning to tell her if she never asked. She will say you dont love her anymore. All that crap. Rather, you should tell her when she is in a more relaxed environment and not when she's anxious about how she will look good for you on your pleasant outing. Pah!

By the way, "handling" is the fundamental aspect of relationships. Not only ladies need to be handled. There's a kind of handling [ahem] that guys require too (any guy in the house that feels me, whoop out loud! Woo-hoo, yeah baby, thats what im talking about. LOL)

ima1:
all of those answers are cheezy n not believable, example the first and second one, if a guy answers like that i will know he is fing lieing

LOL cos I wrote it that way doesn't mean I say it that way. The girls I have been in a relationship with are VERY INTELLIGENT girls, and THIS is how I talk everytime, whether Im with them or not. Whether Im joking or serious. Maybe you may even detect a hint of that kind of conversation style in my posts.

But on the other hand, I gave a disclaimer at the start! Its just for the LOLz, for the fun of it. Please don't take it to heart,

Chai! Nairaland o!!!!! Una no go kill me!!!!!!!!!!! LOL, ROTFLMAO

celler:
My name is Ben. I have thought of having a true[b] female[/b] girlfriend for a serious relationship.

Female girlfriend? As in female? May you find o, but this NL i dont really know how much you can trust people here, guys and girls alike.

whitesturd:
well said.Aint you a genius?

LOL thanks, but as your signature says, I may just be a fool on the other hand. Such smartness almost always puts me in trouble.

A Relationships guide for Pacifists!

Some few minutes ago on facebook, I saw a note that a friend wrote recently, and this is an excerpt:

"This one is for the dudes-you know how ladies ask us questions that we cannot answer-questions that we will use to entrap ourselves. Let me illustrate "Am I fat? Isn’t she looking good? What do you think? Will you die for me? If I die would you remarry/marry someone else? Are you attracted to other people? etc"
These are questions that we know the answer to but there is no answer we can safely give (if any dude has found a way to answer them safely, please I beg of you, for the sake of all that’s holy, forward them to me).

Okay, so I decided to answer this bros with my own version. Use them at your own risk. It works (or has worked? Who cares?) for me, that does not guarantee that it will work for you. Please do not use any of these answers if you are not yet in a relationship with the girl in concern, it will backfire and burn your face. Trust me! Enjoy,

Disclaimer: Please this psot is just for the fun of it, o. Before NLanders crucify me like they have done 2ce today. Responses very welcome!!
===================================================================================================

Q1: Am I fat?
Bad response: Em, (uncertain) or No or Yes (worst case).
My Answer: (Look her over and smile) Your clothes fit perfectly! In fact, one could even think maybe the designer had you in mind. By the way, we should go shopping soon, so we can get more lovely ones. You make me so proud! (swiftly change the topic here before it is too late)

Q2: (She's looking at a beautiful stranger) Isn't she looking good?
Bad response: No (An Obvious Lie she won't take) or Yes (Then you'll get yourself into trouble for nothing!)
My Answer: She's okay. I actually saw her staring at us. She was eyeing you in envy. She's jealous because you are prettier and my eyes are all over you. Am I not lucky?

Q3: (After she has made up her mind about something but wants to ask all the same) What do you think?
Bad response: Say what is actually on your mind, and start an argument you won't win, and will leave both mouths tasting funny.
My Answer: I really need to give more thought to it, because right now I don't have working answers. What do YOU think? (If she doesn't answer, follow up by changing the topic. If she raises it again, tell her what's on your mind. But if she answers with her own concrete plans, agree with her. During the implementation of her plans, you will produce your own ideas and integrate it all together!)

Q4: Will you die for me?
Bad responses: Almost all responses are bad. This is a very tricky one.
My Answer: I will take down anything that tries to work against you, whether I die or live in the process! I will prefer to live, actually, because I want to keep being there for you, and loving you. Someone told me that dead men don't usually fall in love (laugh), but who knows? Maybe your love may bring me back from the dead when I have died for you!

Q5: If I die will you remarry?
Bad Responses: Hesitation, Hasty Yes/No, Yes, No (any of these are bad)
My Answer: If you die (God forbid) then I can never be myself again. I will only become a monster, a shadow of my previous self. As for this monster, I can't really say what it will do. You know monsters are unpredictable. They may even eat their own hearts,

Q6: Are you attracted to other women/ladies/girls?
Bad Responses: Hesitation, Hasty Yes/No, Yes, No (any of these are bad)
My Answer: Your love makes my heart steadfast. I am like a mountain, fastened deeply into the ground. If a heavy tornado hits me, some of my parts may crumble; but no matter how heavy and hard the tornado is, I, the mountain, can never bow down to it, and it can't lift me off the ground; but that is as long as your love keeps me rooted deep into the ground. So you see, you have a large part to play there, too. (Digress and start talking about how much you need her in your life, or skilfully change the topic if she is looking doubtful).

That Q6 answer na long wahala o!