@665 Sold Out.

Thanks for making enquiry Sir.

omopapa:
Is it still available and how much are you selling

Hello All.

I am a novice here in search of information as regards easier ways to securing jobs in the UK.

I was a Business Analyst in Nigeria and just relocated to the UK this month to join my spouse.

Any useful information on job sites, Companies and short courses that can enhance my chances of getting a "decent" job will be highly appreciated.

Thank you.

idolda:


You can drive with normal naija driving license in the UK. However, the licence is only valid for one (1) year from the date you arrived in UK.

The normal naija license? Or the international driver's license.

Please I need clarification

nosigho:
Hello everyone, I am seriously planing on migrating to the UK, I have over 9years experience in HSE from reputable Oil&Gas companies, but my plan is to use my wife as principal, if that is the term to be used under the tier4 visa option, such that she would have a 2 year post work bonus, while I search for work, I already have seen many posting as regards my job and experiences but I rather apply for a tier 2 visa from inside the UK, or do I start to apply from outside, I also intend to apply for tier2 visa option when we eventually get there. I’m travelling with my 3 kids... please I need mentorship. Advice needed

....

d33types:


The normal naija license? Or the international driver's license.

Please I need clarification

Normal Nigeria driving license. If you have it no need of getting the international one, it is waste of money.

omopapa:
Oga Ralphjean has done justice to your questions, also you can consider using UK NARIC in place of the IETLS.

Since you studied MLS and u are registered in Nigeria, I think you stand a good chance. Goodluck!

Thanks for replying. Please i saw a post where someone said it's not easy getting a job with any laboratory even after migrating, he/she mentioned something about laboratories not ready to hire you because they don't trust you have the required knowledge in running their labs even though you have had an experience in nigeria. Is that always the case?

Does one still need to pursue a postgraduate degree in order to get a job?? and will it be easy for someone that graduated with 2.2 to do masters easily especially with scholarships cause the fees are a lot??

I ll be awaiting your reply sir.

omopapa:
Is it still available and how much are you selling

i have pounds if interested

Lexusgs430:



A localised Nigerian DL is not valid, you need to have upgraded it to an International license.....

This international license, is only valid for ONE year (from the entry date, stamped on your passport)......

Without the aforementioned, don't just grab a car (leave the car jejely, buy a bus pass or a bicycle).......


Let's assume you already have the above, you MUST have a vehicle insurance + road fund licence aka road tax....

Without all of the above, buy beta boot to slap the highways........

idolda:


Normal Nigeria driving license. If you have it no need of getting the international one, it is waste of money.

I saw the above and was wondering. gov.uk says it's acceptable but seeing views here got me confused.

Thank you so much

d33types:





I saw the above and was wondering. gov.uk says it's acceptable but seeing views here got me confused.

Thank you so much

I have not said it's not acceptable...... You localized DL, is not acceptable by itself, you need to apply for an IDL and mention this your insurance company (failure to declare, would render your insurance null & void)........

idolda:


Normal Nigeria driving license. If you have it no need of getting the international one, it is waste of money.

Till you either get stopped or have a crash....... Then faced with the consequences of the errors in your highways.......

idolda:


Normal Nigeria driving license. If you have it no need of getting the international one, it is waste of money.

You don’t mean it !!

Lexusgs430:



Till you either get stopped or have a crash....... Then faced with the consequences of the errors in your highways.......

LOL, I'm not saying this based on unstantiated claim going around for ages but based on experience of more than 10 close friends and for your information 1 of them had been stopped by police and his ID checked and he only HAD NORMAL NAIJA DRIVERS LICENCE.

I repeat this ANYONE THAT TELLS YOU NA ONLY INTERNATIONAL DRIVER LICENCE IS ACCEPTED IN THE UK HAS EITHER BEEN LIED TO OR JUST FORMED AN OPINION OF HIS OWN AND PASS IT AS STATEMENT OF FACT WHICH IS FALSE. Normal Nigeria driver license is accepted 100%, after 1yr of arriving in UK you can no longer use it

idolda:

LOL, I'm not saying this based on unstantiated claim going around for ages but based on experience of more than 10 close friends and for your information 1 of them had been stopped by police and his ID checked and he only HAD NORMAL NAIJA DRIVERS LICENCE.

I repeat this ANYONE THAT TELLS YOU NA ONLY INTERNATIONAL DRIVER LICENCE IS ACCEPTED IN THE UK HAS EITHER BEEN LIED TO OR JUST FORMED AN OPINION OF HIS OWN AND PASS IT AS STATEMENT OF FACT WHICH IS FALSE. Normal Nigeria driver license is accepted 100%, after 1yr of arriving in UK you can no longer use it

Who ayam to argue..... My point was based on historical experiences........

The law might have changed...... But the basis still remains one year after arrival........

How much and at what rate pls

Oggg:
i have pounds if interested

No matter ur experience all labs are meant to do induction and trainings for their new staff. There’s no shame in asking questions and asking to be trained on what you haven’t done before, however you MUST knw the basic stuffs and not just be a novice. Not to mention that some basic skills will be required before you get a job for example you might not get a job in histology if you can not operate the microtome.

Most scholarships that I have seen are 2:1 and above but u that doesn’t mean u can’t still get as a 2:2 holder but chances might be slim

Finally, a post graduate is also CPD and can improve ur chances either Cus u are already in the country or Cus u now understand the uk education system

bimbod:


Thanks for replying. Please i saw a post where someone said it's not easy getting a job with any laboratory even after migrating, he/she mentioned something about laboratories not ready to hire you because they don't trust you have the required knowledge in running their labs even though you have had an experience in nigeria. Is that always the case?

Does one still need to pursue a postgraduate degree in order to get a job?? and will it be easy for someone that graduated with 2.2 to do masters easily especially with scholarships cause the fees are a lot??

I ll be awaiting your reply sir.

omopapa:
No matter ur experience all labs are meant to do induction and trainings for their new staff. There’s no shame in asking questions and asking to be trained on what you haven’t done before, however you MUST knw the basic stuffs and not just be a novice. Not to mention that some basic skills will be required before you get a job for example you might not get a job in histology if you can not operate the microtome.

Most scholarships that I have seen are 2:1 and above but u that doesn’t mean u can’t still get as a 2:2 holder but chances might be slim

Finally, a post graduate is also CPD and can improve ur chances either Cus u are already in the country or Cus u now understand the uk education system

hmm.. Thanks. I guess getting a job there is not so easy.. But the immigration process sounds promising.

Internal Contestations and life’s absurdities – an appeal to let empathy prevail

A brief on my past musings
It was some months back and, on this platform, I passionately denounced Nigeria. Having been pissed off with the continuous policy capitulations of the government and the mass and shameless display of crass mediocrity at the helms of affairs never before seen in Nigeria’s history, I thought it necessary to divest my interests from Nigeria and focus elsewhere – after all I can’t come and go and kill myself. This was no empty statement for I did begin the process after having a long call with my main portfolio manager.

Recent happenings and the need for empathy
I have recently returned from a four-week trip to Nigeria to conclude a cycle of one of my business interests and facilitate some changes for the next cycle. This trip saw me spending 2 weeks in the North and in the bush/forests sorting out land leases and concluding pre-planting operations including sorting out security and oversight.

My time in the North was worthwhile as I visited major markets in the two cities I stayed. While it was fantastic to enjoy the pleasures of Nigeria – akara, masa, roasted corn/plantain (with groundnut), okpa (even though it caused me stomach upset), molue (public transport), keke, motorcycle, mama put etc., it was also painful to observe first-hand “a wasting generation”.

“Youth in no age is well served unless it has a new dream to unfold, a clean block of paper to write on, a chance to create an original product and set a brand on it, a job in which to become wholly absorbed. Nor is the nation well served which does not provide a frontier of some sort for each succeeding generation of youth.” (Clark, 1938).

It was ghastly beholding a huge population of young people aimlessly wandering from morning till night-time without engaging in any productive activity. It was shocking to observe major markets having the same massive population at 10am and at 4pm on a working day! I deliberately took out time to use the public transport system (against my farm supervisor’s warning) and observe what was typical. Looking around me in those strange buses and on the streets was the picture of frustration. Yes, the sun was really at its peak but then even at cooler temperatures in the evening/night-time, the look of pain, anguish, frustration and hopelessness was in abundance around me; what was worse, the majority of these folks were young people (30 and below).

One week into my stay up North, my business and accountability partner joined me, and we began assessing our decision to divest. Our (animal) farm up north has 10 staff (2 of which are graduates) with the (plant) farm employing quite a number of casual workers (though on contract terms). When we decided here in the UK to divest, we had taken that decision as engineers (that we are). There was no empathy or feeling involved. We had always dealt with variables and machines and so it was basically a financial decision we were making. However, when we included the gory sights of jobless youths and the uncertain future of our staff were we to close shop, it became certain that divesting was never going to be an option.

We didn’t get to where we are today because of our pedigree – No. We were sponsored from Nigeria for PG studies abroad – our parents could never have afforded it. We attended Nigeria’s premier university for pittance. Nigeria had given us a platform. Yes, it could have been better but damn, Nigeria had been fair to us. We can’t in our lifetime imagine being where we are today considering our very humble backgrounds. What is more, we were not the best or brightest, we were just fortunate. In retrospect, we concluded that every of such opportunities enjoyed must have setback some very talented and resourceful persons more deserving of such privileges.

While we are very interested in the numbers and RoI, we have decided to let empathy prevail. I will not be divesting anymore from Nigeria. Yes, I will continue to rant and vent from time to time, but if that business gives Audu a chance to get his life sorted and move on to better opportunities then damned be exchange rate – Lord, I have just checked abokifx and it is approaching N700/£1. I will continue to diversify and attempt to hedge losses from currency devaluation and trust God for mercies since at this point logic can’t cut it.

Hope for a better Nigeria
Having followed hopefully the frantic attempts at tracking #FindHinyUmoren, it is painful to learn that she didn’t make it. Her only crime was that she was looking for a job, that’s all. That was perhaps a future commissioner or captain of industry or another Ngozi Iweala. Alas, she was cut down in her prime with her hopes and vision dashed. Every day in Nigeria, hundreds and thousands of “Umorens” meet their end without having an opportunity at life. They are victims of Nigeria’s failure. Of course, it isn’t uncommon to adopt the sidon look approach – since e no affect me, e no concern me until it concerns me.

As we settle down to life in the abroad, lets from time to time go beyond pondering to doing. That simple gesture or help or assistance will go a long way in changing someone’s destiny. Let us in our own corners find and save one “Umoren”. In all we do, let’s ensure empathy prevails.

Chukwuka16:
Internal Contestations and life’s absurdities – an appeal to let empathy prevail

A brief on my past musings
It was some months back and, on this platform, I passionately denounced Nigeria. Having been pissed off with the continuous policy capitulations of the government and the mass and shameless display of crass mediocrity at the helms of affairs never before seen in Nigeria’s history, I thought it necessary to divest my interests from Nigeria and focus elsewhere – after all I can’t come and go and kill myself. This was no empty statement for I did begin the process after having a long call with my main portfolio manager.

Recent happenings and the need for empathy
I have recently returned from a four-week trip to Nigeria to conclude a cycle of one of my business interests and facilitate some changes for the next cycle. This trip saw me spending 2 weeks in the North and in the bush/forests sorting out land leases and concluding pre-planting operations including sorting out security and oversight.

My time in the North was worthwhile as I visited major markets in the two cities I stayed. While it was fantastic to enjoy the pleasures of Nigeria – akara, masa, roasted corn/plantain (with groundnut), okpa (even though it caused me stomach upset), molue (public transport), keke, motorcycle, mama put etc., it was also painful to observe first-hand “a wasting generation”.

“Youth in no age is well served unless it has a new dream to unfold, a clean block of paper to write on, a chance to create an original product and set a brand on it, a job in which to become wholly absorbed. Nor is the nation well served which does not provide a frontier of some sort for each succeeding generation of youth.” (Clark, 1938).

It was ghastly beholding a huge population of young people aimlessly wandering from morning till night-time without engaging in any productive activity. It was shocking to observe major markets having the same massive population at 10am and at 4pm on a working day! I deliberately took out time to use the public transport system (against my farm supervisor’s warning) and observe what was typical. Looking around me in those strange buses and on the streets was the picture of frustration. Yes, the sun was really at its peak but then even at cooler temperatures in the evening/night-time, the look of pain, anguish, frustration and hopelessness was in abundance around me; what was worse, the majority of these folks were young people (30 and below).

One week into my stay up North, my business and accountability partner joined me, and we began assessing our decision to divest. Our (animal) farm up north has 10 staff (2 of which are graduates) with the (plant) farm employing quite a number of casual workers (though on contract terms). When we decided here in the UK to divest, we had taken that decision as engineers (that we are). There was no empathy or feeling involved. We had always dealt with variables and machines and so it was basically a financial decision we were making. However, when we included the gory sights of jobless youths and the uncertain future of our staff were we to close shop, it became certain that divesting was never going to be an option.

We didn’t get to where we are today because of our pedigree – No. We were sponsored from Nigeria for PG studies abroad – our parents could never have afforded it. We attended Nigeria’s premier university for pittance. Nigeria had given us a platform. Yes, it could have been better but damn, Nigeria had been fair to us. We can’t in our lifetime imagine being where we are today considering our very humble backgrounds. What is more, we were not the best or brightest, we were just fortunate. In retrospect, we concluded that every of such opportunities enjoyed must have setback some very talented and resourceful persons more deserving of such privileges.

While we are very interested in the numbers and RoI, we have decided to let empathy prevail. I will not be divesting anymore from Nigeria. Yes, I will continue to rant and vent from time to time, but if that business gives Audu a chance to get his life sorted and move on to better opportunities then damned be exchange rate – Lord, I have just checked abokifx and it is approaching N700/£1. I will continue to diversify and attempt to hedge losses from currency devaluation and trust God for mercies since at this point logic can’t cut it.

Hope for a better Nigeria
Having followed hopefully the frantic attempts at tracking #FindHinyUmoren, it is painful to learn that she didn’t make it. Her only crime was that she was looking for a job, that’s all. That was perhaps a future commissioner or captain of industry or another Ngozi Iweala. Alas, she was cut down in her prime with her hopes and vision dashed. Every day in Nigeria, hundreds and thousands of “Umorens” meet their end without having an opportunity at life. They are victims of Nigeria’s failure. Of course, it isn’t uncommon to adopt the sidon look approach – since e no affect me, e no concern me until it concerns me.

As we settle down to life in the abroad, lets from time to time go beyond pondering to doing. That simple gesture or help or assistance will go a long way in changing someone’s destiny. Let us in our own corners find and save one “Umoren”. In all we do, let’s ensure empathy prevails.

So in short, you no run from Nigeria again....... You listened to your heart and refused to hear your brain.......

[quote author=Chukwuka16 post=101314866][b]Internal

This is very good boss. Thanks for sharing.

Chukwuka16:
Internal Contestations and life’s absurdities – an appeal to let empathy prevail

A brief on my past musings
It was some months back and, on this platform, I passionately denounced Nigeria. Having been pissed off with the continuous policy capitulations of the government and the mass and shameless display of crass mediocrity at the helms of affairs never before seen in Nigeria’s history, I thought it necessary to divest my interests from Nigeria and focus elsewhere – after all I can’t come and go and kill myself. This was no empty statement for I did begin the process after having a long call with my main portfolio manager.

Recent happenings and the need for empathy
I have recently returned from a four-week trip to Nigeria to conclude a cycle of one of my business interests and facilitate some changes for the next cycle. This trip saw me spending 2 weeks in the North and in the bush/forests sorting out land leases and concluding pre-planting operations including sorting out security and oversight.

My time in the North was worthwhile as I visited major markets in the two cities I stayed. While it was fantastic to enjoy the pleasures of Nigeria – akara, masa, roasted corn/plantain (with groundnut), okpa (even though it caused me stomach upset), molue (public transport), keke, motorcycle, mama put etc., it was also painful to observe first-hand “a wasting generation”.

“Youth in no age is well served unless it has a new dream to unfold, a clean block of paper to write on, a chance to create an original product and set a brand on it, a job in which to become wholly absorbed. Nor is the nation well served which does not provide a frontier of some sort for each succeeding generation of youth.” (Clark, 1938).

It was ghastly beholding a huge population of young people aimlessly wandering from morning till night-time without engaging in any productive activity. It was shocking to observe major markets having the same massive population at 10am and at 4pm on a working day! I deliberately took out time to use the public transport system (against my farm supervisor’s warning) and observe what was typical. Looking around me in those strange buses and on the streets was the picture of frustration. Yes, the sun was really at its peak but then even at cooler temperatures in the evening/night-time, the look of pain, anguish, frustration and hopelessness was in abundance around me; what was worse, the majority of these folks were young people (30 and below).

One week into my stay up North, my business and accountability partner joined me, and we began assessing our decision to divest. Our (animal) farm up north has 10 staff (2 of which are graduates) with the (plant) farm employing quite a number of casual workers (though on contract terms). When we decided here in the UK to divest, we had taken that decision as engineers (that we are). There was no empathy or feeling involved. We had always dealt with variables and machines and so it was basically a financial decision we were making. However, when we included the gory sights of jobless youths and the uncertain future of our staff were we to close shop, it became certain that divesting was never going to be an option.

We didn’t get to where we are today because of our pedigree – No. We were sponsored from Nigeria for PG studies abroad – our parents could never have afforded it. We attended Nigeria’s premier university for pittance. Nigeria had given us a platform. Yes, it could have been better but damn, Nigeria had been fair to us. We can’t in our lifetime imagine being where we are today considering our very humble backgrounds. What is more, we were not the best or brightest, we were just fortunate. In retrospect, we concluded that every of such opportunities enjoyed must have setback some very talented and resourceful persons more deserving of such privileges.

While we are very interested in the numbers and RoI, we have decided to let empathy prevail. I will not be divesting anymore from Nigeria. Yes, I will continue to rant and vent from time to time, but if that business gives Audu a chance to get his life sorted and move on to better opportunities then damned be exchange rate – Lord, I have just checked abokifx and it is approaching N700/£1. I will continue to diversify and attempt to hedge losses from currency devaluation and trust God for mercies since at this point logic can’t cut it.

Hope for a better Nigeria
Having followed hopefully the frantic attempts at tracking #FindHinyUmoren, it is painful to learn that she didn’t make it. Her only crime was that she was looking for a job, that’s all. That was perhaps a future commissioner or captain of industry or another Ngozi Iweala. Alas, she was cut down in her prime with her hopes and vision dashed. Every day in Nigeria, hundreds and thousands of “Umorens” meet their end without having an opportunity at life. They are victims of Nigeria’s failure. Of course, it isn’t uncommon to adopt the sidon look approach – since e no affect me, e no concern me until it concerns me.

As we settle down to life in the abroad, lets from time to time go beyond pondering to doing. That simple gesture or help or assistance will go a long way in changing someone’s destiny. Let us in our own corners find and save one “Umoren”. In all we do, let’s ensure empathy prevails.

I commend you for this. Nigeria was good to me too, even though I come from a lowly background. I shall return the favour too someday.

Chukwuka16:
Internal Contestations and life’s absurdities – an appeal to let empathy prevail

A brief on my past musings
It was some months back and, on this platform, I passionately denounced Nigeria. Having been pissed off with the continuous policy capitulations of the government and the mass and shameless display of crass .

Your love for Nigeria is commendable....home sweet home

But truly the system is having a total breakdown right before everyone eyes so even the process of saving has to be with caution or else you become the one needing to be saved...

The person who callously ended "Umoren" is a Nigerian and its happening daily, so once that sinks in then the realisation is RUN RUn Run run

[quote author=Chukwuka16 post=101314866]Internal Contestations and life’s absurdities – an appeal to let empathy prevail

My brother Chukwuka Welcome back to the abroad we have missed ur great speeches and wisdom.......
Let’s pray something good will come out of Nigeria after 2023 ... but I doubt it will

Kudos and all the best. [quote author=Chukwuka16 post=101314866][/quote]

I like reading Chukwuka16's escapades.

I don't whether to applaud or weep for you . Anyways, welldone for keeping hope alive.

Hello all
Please am coming to the uk soon with family to study (msc biotechnology).I would like to know
1: employment chances after study
2: residency after 4years, route to ply
Wifey too would be doing msc after our 4year visa expires, and we have a baby almost 1year, will she be able to work full time and support us while I am in school? And also is this worth it? Thanks

enesty:
Hello all
Please am coming to the uk soon with family to study (msc biotechnology).I would like to know
1: employment chances after study
2: residency after 4years, route to ply
Wifey too would be doing msc after our 4year visa expires, and we have a baby almost 1year, will she be able to work full time and support us while I am in school? And also is this worth it? Thanks

Given that you want your wife to work full-time, it is assumed that you have your childcare sorted in the form of family or friends.
Otherwise your wife cannot obviously work full time if you are schooling full-time unless she quickly gets a job that will pay enough to cover the costs of full day childminder/nursery school in addition to your other living costs.

Enough has been said on this thread and elsewhere about the prospects of securing such employment which naturally depend on her field, previous experience and sheer good luck.

No Godfather, Bullion van, posters all over town, sharing of Agege bread required etc etc etc

Hello ogas in the house.

My spouse will be working in Scunthorpe and Grimbsy like rotation stuff because of his Residency training. I would be joining him as tier 2 dependent. Pls where do you suggest one can settle in as new immigrants in terms of being cost friendly, calm, getting a job easily for myself jobs like Support work, Health care assistant, basically jobs one can easily settle in fast.
Though I studied Orthopedic technology here in Nigeria and I've also done some UK accredited training as Nurse assistant.
Any advice on which of the location or near by town one can settle in.
How can someone easily get those kinds of jobs?

Thank you

Hello all, I'm new here. I'm very grateful to find this thread. We'll be new immigrants in the UK soon. We just recieved our visas. My husband is going to study his Master's and we are joining as his dependents. I'll appreciate all advice and guidance I can get.

To start with, how long can my 3 year old daughter school a week? I hear 15 hours free education and 30. What is the correct one? And how can I get her into school as soon as I get to the UK?

Any tips on how to get work. Any work although I'm looking at senior care giving.
Thanks

olaness:
Hello all, I'm new here. I'm very grateful to find this thread. We'll be new immigrants in the UK soon. We just recieved our visas. My husband is going to study his Master's and we are joining as his dependents. I'll appreciate all advice and guidance I can get.

To start with, how long can my 3 year old daughter school a week? I hear 15 hours free education and 30. What is the correct one? And how can I get her into school as soon as I get to the UK?

Any tips on how to get work. Any work although I'm looking at senior care giving.
Thanks

For people without permanent papers like student visa it is 15 hours.... for British or permanent residency papers then its 30hours. If you want more than 15 hours , nurseries allow you to pay the additional hours

Once you settled accommodation then you can apply to schools. It all then depends if there is availability.

Tip for work .... find the closest job agencies to you. They are usually more current on jobs

Hey guys, please bear with me for this is going to be lengthy, but at the moment I am at a crossroad. Had to create a new account because of this.

I met my husband in 2012 while I was serving (NYSC), we were first friends before we started dating. We started cohabiting in 2013 and we had a lot of issues from family to money management to cheating to gambling to fighting to breaking up several times and getting back, I will spare you guys the sordid details.

He lost his job in 2015 and since then he has been gambling. He does other things on the side like writing which doesn't bring alot but the money goes into gambling. I reported him to everyone I felt could speak to him because this was destroying and taking a toll on our finances, all the times this was happening, we were not married. Please keep in mind that I wasn't the best of persons at the time, I used to be throw my fists at him, fight with him in the middle of the road if I get triggered, our sex life was dead because emotionally I was deeply unhappy at the turn of events. I kept talking to him and wanted him to do better because I believed he could only if he just applied himself.

Our last major breakup we had was because he advised I should further my studies in the UK but I refused chasing the process because I didn't have the resources. He promised he was going to support me but he didn't have a job and on several occasions he has left me hanging in some financial situations in the past so I wasn't interested in starting what I couldn't see through. All of this was in 2019. While we were on and off, he tried other relationships and I tried too but I loved him so much so I kept going back to beg him whenever we had issues. I couldn't move on. After so much back and forth and heartbreaks, and from the frustrations I got from fighting women off him, I decided I was going to move on.


When I decided to start the process of travelling to the UK, we were in the middle of a breakup, I pleaded with him that I want him to walk this path with me, and since I didn't have enough, he could come along as a dependent so he can work the balance of my fees while I concentrate on my studies, and that since he didn't have any tangible thing doing, it is an opportunity to start a life and start earning something again. At first he was reluctant, I had to plead with him for weeks before he finally agreed to do so with me. His fears accordingly to him is that he doesn't trust me because I am erratic.

Fast forward to 2020 April, i got admission, sold alot of my stuffs, and travelled. Prior to my travelling, I had sent him money to do his passport and pay for marriage in Ikoyi registry and money for clothes as well, he didn't do none of it, and couldn't account for the money either. I got to know this a day before the so-called date that was fixed as I came from Benin, thinking I was getting married the next day but in the morning when I woke him up for us to get dressed, he said the wedding would not be holding. To cut the long story short, I had to pay for a fast track wedding a few days to my leaving the country.

I left for the UK this year January in the hope that he'd join me latest March unfortunately he hasn't been able to join me. He doesn't have the resources to fund his trip either and I can't fund it because I still have my balance tuition to pay. Since I got here its been one quarrel to another. I can work to fund his relocation after paying off my balance tuition but I feel he doesn't love me as he's willing t walk away at the slightest provocation.

I feel so alone, I don't feel loved and it has been like this for the past years. When we have a quarrel, he shuts me out, never takes my calls or read my messages. When I call those I think can reach him because I have tried to reach him for days, its another round of anger and shutting out. I am just really unhappy because I am at a loss at what to do at the moment,

Do I just move on? I am super stressed from trying to clear of the balance of my fees, thinking of how to sort out my life after school and I am navigating all these thoughts alone. I fear that nothing will change because our relationship has been toxic due to the kind of pain we have caused each other. I am willing to do better and be better as I have always said to him but on a ground that he will make conscious effort to be bette. I fear that when he comes he might continue to gamble or probably go AWOL on me if I offend him as this is what he does all the time.

I just need advice. Even though I am married, it doesn't feel like it. I don't feel loved or cared for, I don't feel like I matter to him. Emotionally, I am very very alone. He can go days or weeks without speaking to me when we have a major misunderstanding. I just want some peace, oneness, love and transparency.